A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

More funeral opinions needed

Posted: Jan 6, 2010

Recently involved in funeral choices for older couple who did not keep in touch with first marriage children. I almost insisted children's names be placed at least in the obitand notified a few to ask them to get in touch with siblings as we did not know where they were. Widow took out children's cities, states, etc. residence. Some children showed up; some did not. I did the best I could because I felt it was imperative these kids know their parent passed. Widow made announcement "private" burial, no viewing, private everything. Addresses were exchanged, etc. at funeral and when the niceities were over some of the involved and not involved are not getting along and literally being nasty on a social network site. Did I do something wrong?? Wish I had minded my own beeswax and stayed out of it. I am a SIL of the deceased and sorry I got involved, although I was asked for my help. The director said, "I am the director; not involved in the guest list." We are living in a "cold society." Don't flame me, please, grieving enough! Any dysfunctional funeral stories???

;

my father's funeral - let my ashes be scattered

[ In Reply To ..]
My father had almost 20 siblings, only a few still living, but we didn't keep in contact with them. He knew them and visited them some, but my mom had kept us away while we were growing up, so we didn't know them (example of why: my sis, age 3, went to visit some cousins who filled a Coke bottle with gas and she needed her stomach pumped. Grownups said boys will be boys, my mom said not with my kids they won't).

When he died, my oldest sis contacted his nearest brother the same night and asked him to contact family. He waited almost 24 hours before letting his family know. Several drove down for my dad's funeral, but were so mad that my mom deliberately did not inform them timely (um, okay). They arrived just an hour before the funeral, having missed the viewing. When they saw the obit, again they were angry because my mom didn't list his remaining siblings (who could keep up with almost 20 sibs??)

After the graveside service, the out-of-town relatives picked up the floral arrangment they sent from the siblings, put it in the car trunk and left. The next morning, the nearby brother came over to my mom's house and took back the plant they sent to my mom's house.

ya just can't win when it comes to relatives.

thanks for the funeral post sm - Sr. Wordsmith

[ In Reply To ..]
Thanks so much, I am glad I'm not alone. I insisted they should be contacted and the widow insisted no viewing. She didn't want them there at all (?money). When some arrived they cried because there was no viewing. Hello, if it weren't for me they would not have known at all. I fought for the kids to have closure, did a lot which was not my duty to do.Families are like fruitcakes, full of nuts. Very sad.

oh, one other thing happened - scatter my ashes

[ In Reply To ..]
My dad was buried on Sat and mom got a call on Monday that drove her over the top. Seems they put my dad in the wrong spot and needed to dig him back up and rebury him a few plots over. My mom asked me to call them back to give permission. I had to laugh about it because I could just imagine my dad saying, "see, none of you can do anything right without me telling you how to do it!" He was a control freak but would have gotten a chuckle from it.

My father's brother - kicked up a fuss

[ In Reply To ..]
When my dad died, my father's brother, who lived next door to us, kicked up such a fuss because he wasn't asked to ride in the limo to and from viewing and cemetery. My mom and her children rode in the limo. It was pretty much full. Uncle decided to start a fight with my oldest brother and mother right in front of the OPEN CASKET and all the mourners. My father was a gentle person, well loved in our small community. Nearly the entire town was there to see uncle screaming at my brother and my mother, "YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME IN THE LIMO!" Incidentally, my father's sister had no problem with the transportation arrangements. Uncle was always attention-grabbing and not well liked. When he passed several years later, hardly anyone showed up for his funeral.

Let me tell you about DIL's family's funerals - The truth and nothing but

[ In Reply To ..]
When I went to DIL's grandmother's funeral, the people were moaning, crying and 2 of her g'daughters held their breaths and somebody yelled, "Hey, so and so is holding their breath again." That would make them pass out, apparently something they were used to doing. I had DIL's children and with all that whooping and hollering their little eyes were as big as saucers. Before the funeral, they are so clanish, did not want to leave the funeral home when time was over for vistation. I guess they were going to spend the night with the corpse. The person at the funeral home came and blinked the lights off and on, they did not budge. Then the people started running the vacuum cleaner, still nothing and finally they had to be asked to please leave. When the DIL's grandfather died after the funeral and after he had been buried, it was drizzling rain and I was ready to go, well thought I was until I saw a grown g'son down digging at the ground and acting like he wanted to dig his g'father up. Another aunt of the DIL died, I went to the funeral home to pay respects and my g'daughter (DIL's daughter) was down in the floor like a big fish flopping up and down. This kid was about 13, should have known better. DIL's family as thick as theives and you never know what they are going to do. I sorta keep my distance. Let me tell you what happens if 1 person in the family goes to the hospital. They ALL show up, does not matter if you having a hangnail removed, they all show up. One time DIL's nephew, about 7 at the time, asked me why did I not come to the hospital to see him. I told him "you just went to the emergency room for your asthma." Well, everyone else showed up, guess he thought I should have also. Weird bunch of folks.

I think you like going to DIL's family funerals for the - entertainment - LOL -- just kidding

[ In Reply To ..]
Sorry couldn't resist. DIL's family sounds a little nutty to me. Fruitcake anyone?

This past Christmas Eve - MT55

[ In Reply To ..]
A former classmate of mine (and dear sister of my BF) died on Xmas Eve of breast cancer -- weird weather in IL, but apparently, the floor of the nursing home (one story) started to flood and her body could not be moved because arrangements had been made (verbal contact only - nothing written) when D passed, the call was made to this place and they refused to come and get the body unless it was $1,800 in cash -- where in the world would one get that at 7:00 p.m. on Xmas Eve -- eventually a funeral home was called, and they agreed to come get the body handled the arrangements -- it was a creamation with no visitation and simple burial and as an aside, the decedent was on Illinois Public Aid -- my friend paid $1,00 for Diane to be buried next to her dad who had just passed at Thanksgiving -- stress!!!

Loved these stories sm - Sr. Wordsmith

[ In Reply To ..]
Don't go to many but with hubby & I both from dysfunction junction, they are all pretty entertaining. SIL almost knocked my MIL out of the casket after refusing to go up to her; when she did, she grabbed at the body and the boyfriend yelled loudly, "Hey, you're messing her all up." There were gasps. Usually these funerals end up with half the room crying why they don't speak to the rest of the room and the other half asking, "Where's the Will?" One hint, never, ever serve alcohol after the funeral to these nuts unless you have a cop present. What is normal? Don't ask me! Gotta laugh, beats crying.

Similar Messages:

Sep 28, 2012
I feel like I am living in the the Twilight Zone here and am super stressed out and just wondering what other people think. We have been battling with the school over nursing services. The school decided to cut one of the nurse positions and now cannot cover everything that they need to cover. My friend and I both have children with type 1 diabetes. They are too young to handle it on their own. We live in a state that has a nurse practice act that says that only an RN can adminiser insulin at sc ...

Jan 06, 2010
Lots of talk about funerals today, huh? I will be attending a Catholic funeral mass with my son, who lost his good friend and classmate in a car accident. I have never attended a funeral mass and wondered how the service might differ from a Protestant service. Anybody care to tell me what to expect? ...

Mar 07, 2013
The delegation will be rubbing elbows with a lot of enemies. Will the delegation even be allowed in the country? Guess time will tell. Venezuela’s long, weepy goodbye to Hugo Chavez carried on Thursday as foreign heads of state — and even a delegation sent by the Obama administration — made their way to Caracas in advance of Friday’s funeral. Venezuelan authorities have not said when Chavez will be laid to rest, nor exactly where. It was just one of many uncerta ...

Dec 11, 2013
http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/12/10/21846669-obama-shakes-hands-with-cubas-castro-at-mandela-service Obama shakes hands with Cuba's Castro at Mandela service Chip Somodevilla / Getty Images President Barack Obama shakes hands with Cuban President Raul Castro. By Erin McClam and Orlando Maos, NBC News Editor’s Note — An earlier version of this story incorrectly said that President Barack Obama, on his way to the rostrum to speak at the memorial for Nelso ...

Feb 18, 2016
I have to give BO credit on this one. Justice Scalia's family probably doesn't want him there. It would probably be more of that faux sympathy anyway with the wittow sad face and fake tears. ...

Dec 31, 2009
I have a friend I just connected with who lives across the country. She lived next door to me. We grew up together, played together, and went to school together. Went to her wedding and then she moved and I lost touch. Anyway (sorry to get side tracked, that has nothing to do with my post). Anyway…when I told her what I do (MT), she told me her daughter took 3 classes but couldn’t afford to finish the training, and asked me my opinions of the MT field a ...

Feb 15, 2010
I have had a lot of problems with my breasts over the years, have had 3 biopsies in the left and 1 in the right but thank God they have all be negative. However, over the last several weeks I have been experiencing something different, pain and burning in my right breast along with swelling (not a lot but enough for me to notice). I have performed self-examinations and other than exquisite tenderness throughout the breast I cannot find any masses (I actually do have a 6 mm nodul ...

May 17, 2010
Ok... so I met this guy about a month ago - I am the one going out with a guy almost 11 years younger. He's a very nice guy! Every time I see him he is nice and we talk literally for hours. He told me off the bat he is not much of a phone person so he doesn't call much, but he sends a few texts every day. At first he wanted to see me several days a week... one of my friends called him my "boyfriend" though and I think it freaked him out. He had told me he was definite ...

Jun 25, 2010
Hey everyone, this is my first time posting on this board, but I thought I'd see if I could get some input. My ex husband met this woman and moved her in with him after only knowing her for 1-1/2 months. I wasn't real thrilled with the idea because we have two kids and joint custody, so they spend half their time at their dad's. Honestly, I was feeling a little jealous about some other woman spending time with my kids. I met her and she seemed nice, so I got used to the idea and ...

Apr 17, 2011
My husband and I have been married for 12 year. He has two previous children from two different relationships, so they have different mothers and then my husband and I have two kids together. The oldest of his two boys, I have always gotten along with him AND his mother, we have a great relationship. The youngest of my two step-sons has a crazy mother. I never say that to him, but seriously 12 years later, she has never remarried, she says she "will never give up my husba ...

May 15, 2013
So, my daughter, who is 9, had all sorts of ear problems, stayed on antibiotics and had to get tubes, whcih stayed in for only 3 weeks and I opted not to get the procedure again. She finally grew out of it. My son, he is 13 and never had ear problems. A month ago though he got a case of Sterp and ended up with a ruptured eardrum. The doctor told me to take him to ENT to make sure the ear perforation healed after the one round of antibiotics. Took him to ENT and it h ...

May 26, 2013
Hi all, What do you think about people who pray for, what I term, silly things? Like what color drapes to buy, what shoes to wear that day, etc. I find it rather silly because people have to take controls over their own lives. I do not believe in "handing everything over" to the higher power. Our higher power (who I term God) gave us brains and will and power to make decisions. I don't call this an abuse of prayer, I just don't understand why some people can't think for themsel ...

Dec 11, 2013
To make a long story short, my hospital MT job paid by the hour was outsourced (not saying to who...and not really surprised but thought we had a bit longer before it happened). I now find myself at a crossroads. I am considering going back to school, but am conflicted. I went back to school nearly 8 years ago for MT and now find myself searching a new career. I am considering cyber security through a local university, but am hesitant. I filled out my FAFSA to see if I q ...

Mar 02, 2012
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/OTUS/rush-limbaugh-democrats-demonizing-sex-comments/story?id=15834374#.T1GHB_UyI7U I always try to listen to sides before I make a judgment, but when there is a old man who has gotten scripts to get his pencil to go upright on top of a boatload of painkillers, etc., I find his rheortic beyond inapprorpiate. Before you flame on me, I listen to both sides, and I won't attack anything that has a bit of logic. ...

Jan 03, 2012
I need a serious opinion. We have friends who have 2 cats, full-breed, who they have had daily bonding with for a good 2 years. Said friends are going on a 3-month trip out of the country and are boarding the cats here in the states. The one cat (before owners have even left) is showing signs of something isn't right--getting out of the house and not duly returning home, peeing smack dab on top of the bed.). These cats are brother and sister, and will be somewh ...

Nov 18, 2009
We had a black lab puppy show up at our house about 12 days ago. I have drove around looking for signs for a missing dog (small community) and nothing. I have been feeding this little angel because I CANNOT starve a dog no matter who it might belong to. It had a collar on (no tags) but the collar was so tight on his neck that I waited but finally changed it out. I have come to find out that a 4th grader on my kids bus says the dog is his. I told the kiddos to tell him th ...

Jan 24, 2011
I am currently looking into returning to school like so many other MTs out there. There are programs where you can get an Associates Degree in Healthcare Management (basically medical records), which I am really not interested in because, as I see it, most hospitals are trying to cut down their medical records departments to as slim of staff as possible, plus with the integration of EMR, I just do not see this being a lucrative field. IF, big big IF here, I were to enter into this pr ...

Jul 29, 2011
I live in a semidetached neighborhood and the neighbors on one side constantly burn a fire pit with wood pallets and whatever in it all the time at least 4 to 5 times a week. Well our cars next door are covered with ashes from their fire pit and we have new cars. We have talked to them about this but it does not good. Any sugestions. It isnt even worth washing these cars anymore and also you need to keep your windows closed because all the smoke comes in the house. ...

Mar 06, 2010
Need carpet that will wear well and stand up to cats (with claws), hairballs, etc. We looked at nylon carpet, but that is too pricey. They suggested polyesther but the reviews on Google are not encouraging. Our hallway is 20 feet x 4 feet and takes a lot of traffic, and we also need to replace the carpeting in the family room and bedrooms. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks ...

Apr 12, 2010
I am glad someone finally wrote a senator about this. What do you all think? http://www.congress.org/congressorg/bio/userletter/?letter_id=5003700381&content_dir=congressorg ...

Apr 21, 2010
If you were having a Grill-Out, what would you serve? The main course will be Hamburgers, Brat's, and Mett's with all the fixins. I am drawing a blank...... Right now Ive got Potato Salad, Pasta Salad and Deviled Egg's. Dessert will be Cake and Icecream.Having a large party this weekend for son's First Communion, and we're doing a Grill out. 42 People have RSVP. ...

Mar 15, 2012
Romney plans to do away with Planned Parenthood upon his election. Sarah Palin desires to debate the president. ...

Sep 07, 2010
My husband and I don't make a fortune, we work and live check to check, like a lot of Americans. A couple of our friends have been having dramatic, horrible personal problems over the past year, (drugs, abuse, destroying each other's personal property like their cars, thier clothes, throwing each other out, getting arrested, trashing each other's cares...). They have 2 teenage children. The oldest is their 19 y/o boy, soon to be 20 moved out w ...

May 17, 2010
A friend of mine has facebook account. she's been looking up everyone she can think of, including her kids teachers. well, she's seeing another side to the teachers. Sometimes not so great but nothing criminal or anything like that, just a side of their personal life that one wouldn't usually know. Anyway, to my question. How do you feel about your child's teacher posting that she been out partying saturday night, or showing a picture of them smoking, or drinking. Does ...

May 18, 2010
I will try to make this short, sorry, just need an opinion. My mother-in-law, I do get along with her but she gossips like REALLy bad. She is always stirring up stuff in the family and extended family (She has 9 kids) and she doesn't mean harm, she is just bored. She is very healthy and has never worked or anything. I think she needs to get into some church groups or senior groups or something, but anyway.....my husband does not get along with his younger brothe ...

May 21, 2010
I am not sure what to do about my child and would like opinions on who to see or what. When my son was around 5 years old, we lived in a house and he would say he "saw people" in the house. I would see him standing there and he would jump as if something startled him, but of course nothing was there. It got to the point that I couldn't even step out on the front porch without him being right under me, afraid to be inside by himself. Well, later on, my 16-year-ol ...

Oct 04, 2012
'Obama Came Off Worse Last Night Against Mitt Romney than He Did in His Debate Against Clint Eastwood' ~ Rush Limbaugh ...

Feb 07, 2013
My best friend is going through a very hard time and I am so concerned for her. I try to help when I can, but I don't know the answers to give her. I was hoping, just maybe, someone has been through a situation somewhat the same and could give opinions. She is in her early 40s, has been married for 20 years and her hubby is in his mid 40s. She says that she still very much loves her husband and feels that he is her best friend, but she said they no longer have "passion." ...

Apr 14, 2013
My child has social anxiety and has very few friends. It is difficult for her to make friends, but once she does, she loves her friends. It causes her a lot of stress and such at school, due to this, but it is getting better. She has this one friend, who is her best friend, she is 11 years old. I have known this child since she was born, because her dad, who raises her as a single father, is very close friends with my husband. There is no talking to the dad about the pro ...

Apr 30, 2013
My 13yo son is in 8th grade and has run into a few problems with bullying. My son tried out for the baseball team and during tryouts there was a kid telling him he sucks and he'll never make it, etc. Well my son made it and this kid was cut. Spring break was the next week, so I told my son just to ignore him and he'd be over it by the time school started again. Well I was wrong and the whole thing escalated into this kid punching my son in the face and my son kicking the crap out o ...