Kids.....opinions

My child has social anxiety and has very few friends.  It is difficult for her to make friends, but once she does, she loves her friends.  It causes her a lot of stress and such at school, due to this, but it is getting better.

She has this one friend, who is her best friend, she is 11 years old.  I have known this child since she was born, because her dad, who raises her as a single father, is very close friends with my husband.  There is no talking to the dad about the problem and getting a solution, because the dad lacks discipline or anything else with his kid, he actually still acts like a big kid himself.

This girl used to spend the night with my daughter most every weekend, stay weeks at the time in the summer, etc.  For the past six months or so she has gotten where she will make sure she can find absolutely nothing else to do before she will come see my daughter.  When she does come over, she knows my daughter really enjoys her there and she will make my daughter do things to make her happy.  Such as, if my daughter asks if she wants to go bike riding, she will say, "no, not unless you find me some skinny jeans to wear" and my daughter starts looking through her closet to find her skinny jeans.  It has almost seemed borderline abusive the way she acts, but my daughter is too passive and really wants this girl as her friend, so she puts up with it.

Anyway, she came over Friday nigh with her dad, my daughter hadn't even called her and she said she wanted to spend the night.  They played for a few hours, had fun, were making plans on what they were going to do Saturday and such.  Then, the girl's dad called, to talk to my husband actually (still Friday night) and the girl answered the phone and asked her dad what he was doing.  He told her whose house he was at and she knew the people and knew they had 4-wheelers there and told him to come pick her up, because she wanted to ride 4-wheelers and he said okay.  My daughter was visibly upset and she said to my daughter "I didn't want to come over here anyway, I want to go ride 4-wheelers"  I tried to talk to the girl and I told her that wasn't nice and you can't really talk to people and treat them that way and if she continued I couldn't let her come back over.  She then said..."I don't care, I didn't want to come here anyway, I just didn't have anything else to do."

Well, I told my daughter she is not coming back over, period.  My daughter seems happier when she plays with her other couple of friends and she doesn't stand up for herself and it hurts my heart to see her treated that way.  My daughter was upset about that though, still wants her to come over and defended the girl saying she is just busy a lot and has plans a lot.

Would you have taken this girl from being your child's friend or let it continue?  I, personally would have loved to deal with it with the parent, if that was logical, but it isn't.  This girl talks to her dad any way she wants and basically tells her dad what to do and such and he does not discipline her at all.