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Catholic funeral mass vs. Protestant funeral

Posted: Jan 6, 2010

Lots of talk about funerals today, huh?

I will be attending a Catholic funeral mass with my son, who lost his good friend and classmate in a car accident. I have never attended a funeral mass and wondered how the service might differ from a Protestant service. Anybody care to tell me what to expect?

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Catholic Funeral Mass - a Catholic

[ In Reply To ..]
A Catholic funeral Mass is pretty straightforward. The main difference is in communion. If you are not Catholic, you should not receive communion. At funerals and weddings, where there are usually non-Catholic attendees, the priest will explain this so that there is no confusion. Also during the consecration (the portion of the Mass just before the distribution of communion), there will be some standing and kneeling. As non-Catholics, you do not need to take these postures. You can sit in the pew and respectfully observe. Any Catholics sitting in your pew will stand and want to move to the aisle when it's time for them to go forward to receive communion. You may have to step into the aisle to let them pass, and then you can duck back into the pew and remain seated until the distribution is finished. It seems a little awkward, but believe me, we're used to it, and Catholics don't think a second thought about who goes forward and who stays in the pew.

There is a special order of the Mass and various blessings. I've been to many funeral Masses where no one enters the church before the casket is brought in. So, you may find that happens. In which case, the funeral directors will give instructions. When there are many mourners, as would be expected for a young person, people may be seated before. The casket will be brought into the rear of the church, and draped with a white cloth to signify the white garment that was worn at the deceased's baptism. The casket will be brought forward and will remain at the front of the church for the rest of the service, which includes a reading from the OT, NT and Gospel reading done by the priest, as well as other prayers before communion. Bells may be rung during the consecration and incense will be used at various parts of the service.

Typically, eulogies are not given at a Catholic funeral Mass, but the priest will certainly speak more personally during the homily/sermon. Sometimes, a eulogy will be given at the end of the Mass by a family member or friend, but that isn't always the case. You should expect the Mass to last about an hour or a bit less.

If you go to the cemetery following the Mass, there will also be a short prayer service at the graveside.

What a sad thing when someone dies so young. Unfortunately, I've been to several funerals like that. They are heartbreaking. I will add this young person and his family to my prayers.

Thank you so much for explaining what to expect - truffle

[ In Reply To ..]
I have not been to a funeral for a child or a teen before. This boy was 13 and very, very loved. It has been hard to accept.

Thanks again.

What to expect - Sr. Wordsmith

[ In Reply To ..]
The above explanation was right on the money. Don't feel out of place. I once brought a Jewish friend to a Catholic event and told her just to suit up and show up and she did fine. There are a lot of rituals you may not understand but the congregation will be so pained by the situation, they won't be looking at each other. Just follow the advice above and you'll do fine. How sad for everyone. There will be many tears. A parent should never bury a child.

Mass - Vikefan

[ In Reply To ..]
Excellent description. I am not catholic but my husband and his parents are. Catholic funeral masses are beautiful. Lots of incense from what I remember from my FIL's funeral. The family were seated in the front row. I took communion to follow suit but faked the drink of wine, being a recovering alcoholic. The wafer stuck to the roof of my mouth for about 30 minutes. My husband joked later that that was my punishment for taking mass as a non-catholic. I did it specifically because it was a close relative only and will do same for my 82 year old MIL but hope that's not for a long time.

We went to the cemetery to have a short service, but not to the grave site itself. We then had a luncheon.

My prayers go out to the family.

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