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Married for 15 years and husband and I have

Posted: May 18, 2015

Watching a show this morning and the 5 women were talking about being married, having joint accounts, some liked, some didn't. Up front will state that our names, husband and mine, are on each other's accounts just in case but we have our own separate accounts, banking, checking, savings. I have no idea what he has in his and he in mine. I do not care what he makes nor what he spends and I think he feels the same as I am concerned. When we get a big bill we pay for the year. This includes auto insurance, property tax, house insurance and we split that right down the middle, him half and me the same. I pay for the household utilities, gas, light, water and the like and he pays the majority of the house note plus the vehicles we drive. My daughter has always found this strange that we do not combine our money and was wondering how others do with their accounts. ;

We have a joint and he has a separate account - but only have a joint because

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we were told by our accountant we had to have one to get our taxes direct deposited

Acct is wrong. Our tax return was DD into my acct, which only has - my name on it. nm

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x

It may be her personal policy - x

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Whose personal policy? Obviously not IRS policy. Why would - accountant have such a policy? nm

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x

Your accountant is giving you wrong information - Not a problem to DD

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if 1 name or 2 names on the account at the bank. Never heard of having to have both names on account before you can file your taxes?

Married 25 years... - sm

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We had separate accounts for a short time while my husband was away at grad school, but it really did not work well as he likes dealing with money even less than I do, so since then we only have joint. He makes most of the money, but I know more about where the money is. Sometimes I worry about what would happen if I died because I think it would take him a long time to figure out just what accounts we have and how to access them.

separate here too - moi

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Been married for nearly 29 years. When we first got married, we had a joint account, but then we both spent the money and bounced checks left and right. Eventually I talked him into separate accounts and it works out perfectly. We both pay our share of bills and I would NEVER go back to joint accounts.

Married for 40 years - One account

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I am married for 40 years, and we have a joint account. If either of us wants something, we buy it. Any one item is over a certain amount gets a discussion. In other words, nobody is going to go out and buy a television set, piece of furniture or get a brand new full wardrobe without discussing it first with the other.

Works out just fine. We are married, not roomies. We both know how much money is in the account, and we have always been on the same page in terms of wanting to retire comfortably--so nobody is out to blow all our hard-earned money.

I'm with the daughter of the OP. I find it strange. I'm not saying it's not common, I just think it's odd that 2 people who trust each other enough to be married and have children with them, can't trust the other enough to join them in a bank account. Either that, or it just makes individuals feel "independent" or something. I feel perfectly independent as a creature without having my own bank account.

I do know a couple who does this, but it's because the husband doesn't trust the wife not to blow all the money in the joint account---which she would---so they split things, and she saves what's left over out of her own job money and can buy whatever she wants out of her own personal savings.

From OP: I never had any kids with this husband - and 15 and still going strong whereas

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my daughter's marriage lasted a little bit longer than it took for the ink on her marriage license to dry. I spend a lot, my husband is more of a, not what I might call saver but bordering on hoarder. I am taking my ex-housekeeper and her kids on vacation next month.I am sure he knows I am paying for all because she cannot afford but he does not say anything, just like I don't say anything when a new guitar or amp shows up at my door that he has ordered.

I just recently found out that a lot of people I know (sm) - Joint here

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have separate accounts. One pays certain bills, others pay different bills, a variety of reasons. It never even occurred to me to do that. Our money ever since we've been married goes into our joint checking acct and one of us pays the bills. I can't see any reason to change now.

I don't care how much I loved the guy, I would - always have an account in my name.

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nm

I'm of the same mindset - nm

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We have a joint account but individual credit cards--sm - anon

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I am the one who keeps on top of checking the accounts for fraud so it is easier to have just one checking account and it is easier when paying the bills instead of trying to remember which account to use. The credit cards are so we have a way of purchasing gifts, etc. without it being immediately known who did what where.

I think that if separate accounts work for your relationship, that is great. I find it interesting when people equate this to a trust issue. From my perspective, it is not really about trust; rather it is a question of self-awareness and understanding. I think it is great when people are aware of who they are and the personality of their partner, whether it be a strength or weakness and then find a way to navigate that minefield in such a way that allows the relationship to continue. A stable, healthy relationship is what I see as the more important thing than where the money is stored.

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