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Two issues (one non MT) and a question, so will post here.
Posted: Jun 8, 2016
I am on a job search (or was until last night). I had been trying for FT, PT, whatever comes along for the time being until I can find something stable outside the home. I received two invitations today to schedule interviews for FT positions. Now I need to know how to politely decline these so I'm not burning any bridges in case I end up needing them again.
Now the reason I need to decline and my question. Last night I found out that I will be moving my grandmother into my home to take care of her. She has no birth certificate (family was immigrants) and no SSN. (Her father was terrified that if they had SSNs that the government would round them up like Hitler did with the Jews, so he strictly forbade it.) The only record of her birth is the family Bible where they recorded everyone's birthdates, which is apparently not good enough to file for assistance for her. None of us are in a position financially to take her in, but since I have an extra bed she is here while we try to wade through this. I have very little in savings now and am only working PT. I put my job search on hold since I will now have to be available almost 24/7 except for when other family can come in to help. We have not been able to get her into long-term care since she has no birth certificate and no SSN, which is what we need since she has end stage Alzheimer's. Her husband was a farmer making a living trading his produce and never paid any taxes. Now we are in the middle of a huge mess. Does anyone know of any resources we can possibly use to help get the 24/7 care we need for her?
;
oes she have any papers from coming into the - country?
[ In Reply To ..]I dated someone who was able to tale his out of country papers to that country's embassy and they issued him some sort of legal document stating yes this is his name, his date of birth, he entered the country on this date, etc. Once he had that, he was able to get a US passport.
Just letting you know of my fly-by experience. Hope it helps.
Nothing at all. - OP
[ In Reply To ..]We only have the few things we have heard over time. We have no clue where they even came from. The gist of it is her father did something he was not proud of and moved his wife and my grandmother to the US. That's all we know for sure.
Thoughts - perhaps
[ In Reply To ..]For the job search/offers, simply tell them you've had a family emergency and you need to be available to handle things and that you'd like to try for the job again later when the situation is resolved. They don't need to know more than that, and your story would be true. They'll probably tell you they understand how things happen and will talk to you later. It's true, respectful, and ... just rotten timing. I hope the rest of your family helps with expenses, 'cause you're going to need lots of help. ... I have a story of my own on birth records, different from yours, but maybe there's something you can use out of it. I hope so. Years ago, a friend of mine gave birth to her daughter in my house. Her labor was too short to get her to the car, let alone a hospital, so we did an impromptu home delivery. Fast-forward to the girl turning 5 and needing a birth certificate to get into school. She didn't have a hospital record, so I typed up a home birth/delivery record. I've seen enough records that I knew what info to put on it. I did not make it look "official". I clearly put on there that this was a home birth record, that no doctor was present, date, parents names, etc. I was absolutely shocked when the school accepted it and this kid went to school like anybody else. She's now in her 20s and I believe that same record was used to get her driver's license when she was old enough. For your relative, perhaps you can do some "genealogy"... not necessarily digging deep into the family, but you need to find something that shows who she is, how old, where from, etc. If she's the immigrant, there must be some kind of transportation record, flight? ship? Surely she wasn't a stowaway. Look for census records. You can look at them up to the year 1940, so you can probably use that for ID purposes. The 1930 and 1940 records contain lots of good info. Get a census record from her childhood. It will contain her parents names and location of birth. To do that, you'll need to know where they lived, not the address, but at least the county and state. You can go online and search this, not have to go anywhere. If she has any family of her generation still living, perhaps they can tell you stories to give clues on where everybody lived and what her birthdate might actually be. Just thinking... if she's immigrant, you'll need to know how old she was when she arrived. If a young child, the census should help. If adult already, it might be more difficult. How old she is now will tell you a lot. I hope this has helped and that you can get this settled easily. Alzheimer's is a terrible process. I don't know about outside resources to help you. County office should be able to give you some info. If all else fails, do you have a neighbor who can be trusted, who might be willing to sit with her and give you some respite now and then?
Thank you. Her father kept the truth from us. There are no papers - OP
[ In Reply To ..]Her father kept the truth from us. There are no papers. We only have the few things we have heard over time. We have no clue where they even came from. The gist of it is her father did something he was not proud of and moved his wife and my grandmother to the US. That's all we know for sure. Family is not any help financially. They are all in as bad or worse shape than I am financially. All my neighbors are elderly themselves and not able to help out other than coming to talk with her. That is a start. I appreciate you taking the time to respond.
Hope things get better - for you
[ In Reply To ..]You have a lot on your plate. Hard to imagine in this day of paperwork that there's actually somebody with no paper trail. Surely, somebody "official" would have a clue how to proceed. Someone who has worked "forever" in one of the county offices might have heard of somebody and remembers how it got resolved. New employees would have no idea.
consult social services in your town/city/state - nm
[ In Reply To ..]
They were not much help without actual documentation. - OP
[ In Reply To ..]They want official legal paperwork. Because of the circumstances surrounding her father and whatever he did where he was originally from we really don't even know where they came from. All we have is bits and pieces of stories. We have heard so many things, one of which is that they started going by different names when they got here. He absolutely would not tell the truth about what really happened and why he had to bring his wife and daughter to the US with no documentation. It is frustrating. I do appreciate the response though. We just have to keep trying.
Just got a call. A church is doing a fundraiser. - OP
[ In Reply To ..]I had just posted responses to replies and got a call from one of the church members I had spoken with. They are organizing a fundraiser. She said they are doing a bake sale and a few other things. I am so thankful.
Church - sm
[ In Reply To ..]Government agencies have protocols that must be followed. However, you might appeal to a church for some kind of assistance or guidance, since they have more discretionary freedom when making decisions on how to help someone in need.
I would start looking for an attorney--sm - anon
[ In Reply To ..]Start calling around for somebody who could take the case on pro bono or who could get at least give you some leads on who to approach.
So you grandmother and her parents were essentially illegal immigrants? - Wow
[ In Reply To ..]There HAS to be come record of them entering the country via boat, plane, etc. The alternative is they crossed the border through Canada or Mexico undetected, i.e. illegally.
What country did they come from? I would start there. I agree with the person who suggested genealogy research. That's where I would start, but if they were here illegally, they probably avoided the census taker. Also talk to other older family, aunts, uncles. Stories get passed down through the generations.
I'm a genealogy buff and I come from hillbillies in northern Arkansas. I can tell you I found that I had a great-great something or another who committed murder in Kentucky, ran away to family in Arkansas. He didn't appear on any census until he was an old man, because his family hid him, but the story got handed down. I found evidence of the murder in another family's genealogy who shared the story on Ancestry about how their ancestor was murdered in Kentucky. I sent them a message and we exchanged stories. My great-great grandfather killed hers and got away with it! You'd be surprised what you can uncover.
Good luck to you!
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