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Teenage Girl/Boy Problems

Posted: Apr 26, 2011

Not sure what to do. This is the first time I've had to deal with this, though I'm sure it won't be the last. My daugther is in the process of breaking up with her first real boyfriend. They're both 17 years old. They were pretty serious for 6 months. I'm not aware of everything, but from what my daughter has told me this 15 year old girl (who lives out of the area), who looks from her FB profile page to be 20 (very sexy profile pic) has her hooks in him. He of course if going right along with it texting her and sending facebook messages. This girl knows about my daughter but doesn't seem to care. She was her friend on FB but blocked her yesterday.

Anyway, my daughter is so distraught, I just don't know what to do. She hasn't eaten in two days. She just laid in her bed all day after school and last night. She is on anxiety medication which she takes very, very rarely. I actually got a call from the school nurse's office today to bring her medication because she was so upset. I know this wil pass and there will be others, but to her it's like the end of the world. For those of you who have gone through this with their own daughters (or sons) is there anything you did or did you just let it run its course? She was supposed to be going to her prom and his prom next month but I guess that isn't happening so that's making it even worse. I don't know what to say or do.

Sorry this is so long. Just a concerned mother.

;

Teenage girls - mb

[ In Reply To ..]
I am so glad my daughters are out of that stage. One thing I can say is guys are so immature. They do not thing with their brain. There was not much I could say to my daughters but breakups happened more than once. And at17 years it will not last through college even though she thinks it will Both by DD are engaged to someone that met in the junior year of college. Be there for her and encourage her to invite someone else to the prom. Even if he decides to go why should she be hurt again. I also think now that she has experience dating before she knows it another guy will probably ask her out. In a few months she will realize it is not the end of the world and her prince is out there.

No real experience here, daughter-wise - NYMT

[ In Reply To ..]
Em still has never had a real boyfriend, at almost 20. But she was desperately in love with the guy who took her to her Junior prom, who eventually let her down with a "I love you like a sister" when she finally told him she loved him. Ouch! She reacted the same way, hardly ate, stopped going out with friends for awhile. Luckily, she talks to me about everything, and she quite literally talked her way out of it (well not completely. Two years later she's still carrying a torch!).

The timing stinks, of course, with Prom coming up. In her Senior year Em decided to just form a singles group to go to Prom together, but it wasn't what she had hoped for, though she swears that a bad experience is better than wondering for the rest of her life if she had not gone.

All I can offer I'm sure you already know - - Be there to listen. Don't do platitudes right now - they'll just tick her off. Try and encourage her to be as involved as possible in non-boyfriend related stuff until the worst wears off.

Sometimes I think hurting for our children is the hardest part of being a parent.

PS: See you at the NYS Fair and we can actually meet each other's daughters!

my personal experience - MommaTyper

[ In Reply To ..]
I don't have any daughters, but I very much remember my first broken heart. My mom and I were very close. She found me crying on my bed, got a wash cloth for me to wash my face and took me to town for ice cream and to cruise around town (okay, it was a long, long time ago in a very small town ~ hehe). She told me how beautiful I was and that there were lots of boys out there that would love to date me. Kinda cliche, but I bought it hook, line and sinker. I did (kinda) get over it and dated lots more boys, because I never would commit wholeheartedly for a long time. That was over 30 years ago, but I remember like it was yesterday.

Boy problems... - anonymouse

[ In Reply To ..]
I would try to encourage to have one of her friends come sleep over and let them do something together to try to get her mind off it. She will get over it, but it will take a little time.

Thanks everyone - LinK

[ In Reply To ..]
Thanks to those who replied. Things have changed quite a bit. They're not totally broken up yet. They have some talking and figuring out to do. Something worse has come up with his father (and his mother is away visiting his sister and new grandchild). Basically he'll be alone for a few weeks. So for now she is just going to be there for him and not worry about anything else right now. Our whole family really loves him so we're going to try to help out any way we can. He has no family in the area. I'm so glad I'm not a teenager any more. It seems like there's more and more things that you need to worry about nowadays.

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