A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

Advice about my child

Posted: Dec 10, 2010

I have a 10-year-old son and I probably shelter him a little too much, but the world is crazy these days. So, he knows this boy from school and we see the kid EVERYWHERE at events that we go to, but I rarely ever see him with an adult or his parents. He is always wandering around alone. We even saw him at the fair (a place where I don't even allow my children to step 10 feet from me without me holding on to them) and he was alone.

So, we were at an event a couple of weeks ago and my son gave the boy his cell phone number. The boy called last Thursday and asked my son if I could pick him up (the boy) from school that Friday and let him spend the weekend. He and my son go to different schools now, because they moved and had to change. So, I told my son to let me speak to the boy's mother and I figured she would say no to such a request, as I would, but she said it was fine and got my name in order to write a note for the school and tell them I could pick him up. I am someone that she has never met and the boy doesn't know me either. I could NEVER be so brave the way the world is today!

Anyway, he spends the weekend and we took him home on Sunday and the kid was trying to just say "bye" and run in, but I told him I wanted to come and meet his mother. I go in to meet her and she was sitting in the chair, very laid back, and just said "hi" to me and nothing else. She looks like she may have some medical or mental disability, I'm not sure, but they do live in an apartment complex that is more for handicapped people, so this could be the case, I'm not sure, but she did not seem interested in meeting me at all.

So, this weekend the boy called and asked my son to come spend the weekend with him. I understand that this would be the "fair" thing, but these parents do not watch their children the way I watch mine. The boy bragged about how he roams the streets, goes into the woods (which is very close to the interstate by the way) and I just worry too much about my kid being there. He is 10 years old, BUT every time you turn the news on there is a kid missing and this friend of my son's is not supervised.

I made an excuse about this weekend to the boy, but I know it will get to the point where they won't let him come to my house if I don't let him over there. I'm not sure how to handle that. I don't want my son to suffer. My son does have a cell phone that he can take with him, but I STILL feel uneasy. What would you do?

;

If I did not feel comfortable letting him go, I - would not

[ In Reply To ..]
I let my children go outside and play in the yard by themselves, but that's about as far as it goes. I am VERY particular about whose house my children are allowed to spend any time at. We live in a small town, and I worked for one of the 2 doctors offices in town and unfortunately have learned too much about too many people.

My daughter now has a friend over that she knows she will not be going to her house. This was discussed before I let the child come over. It is not because I think she has bad parents. It is just because I don't know them. She is 13 and has only stayed all night with a handful of people. I had let her stay one place that I kind of had that uneasy feeling. The same sort of thing where that I felt supervision may be minimal, and wouldn't you know that the family has moved off after dad was arrested for embezzling thousands from a local business.

If your instincts say no, then it is a no. You never know what kind of people they may have coming into the house, etc.

keep having him come to your house - similar sitch

[ In Reply To ..]
Wow! I have almost the same situation over here. This is amazing. My 10yo son has an 11yo friend who comes over here all the time. I never, never let my child go to the other's house. I live in a really bad neighborhood, I mean really bad, child abductions, rape, shootings, you name it. My kid doesn't even go out into the yard without me. Anyhow, this other boy literally cruises the streets all night. His mother does not even care. He runs the street with no shoes, dirty, money in his pocket to go to the liquor store for snacks. I make him call me every time he goes home (but I usually drive him or walk with him, even though it is only one block). His mother never has him call home to say he has arrived here safely. She sits around the house, strung out on something, smoking and swearing. I really feel for this kid. He is really sweet.
I took him out of town with us for 3 days over the summer. His mother didn't ask anything about me. I provided her with my license plate number, my driver's license number, cell phone, etc., none of which she asked for. Then, when we got back in town, she wasn't even home. I had to keep him with us for another 2 hours until she showed up. Mind-blowing.
I think this boy sort of needs to be part of our little family. I make sure he is well fed, we have house rules here that he must follow, and I tell him he's sweet, smart, cute, and that we love him. He loves it over here and he is perfectly well behaved for me.
Sorry this is so long, I'm just amazed at some parents. Children are a gift from above to be cherished every minute we are blessed to have them in our lives. These mothers who don't care are apalling. Maybe your calling is similar to mine, show this kid structure and love. And trust me, that mother will not feel slighted that your child does not go to her house as often as she is able to shove her kid off on you.

I had a friend that, although I was allowed - Doppleganger -s/msg

[ In Reply To ..]
to go to her house, (mainly because my parents didn't know she was a drunk, or that there was no father, etc.), her mother was rarely in the picture. The mother was a pretty crude person. The girl, however, was very, very smart. One day during school, we were all playing baseball on a wet field. I was in the outfield, and she was just completing a home run. As she reached home base, she slipped on the wet grass, and and broke her leg so badly that I heard it snap way out in the outfield. The teacher carried her to the teacher's office in the gym. This was 2nd period in the morning (middle school). By 3 PM, when we were all headed home for the day, she was STILL lying in the gym office, screaming in pain, and apparently the mother couldn't be located to give permission to treat her, transport her to a hospital, or even give her anything for the pain. The mother was the only person they had a contact number for.

I remember my parents talking about it the next night at dinner, and they were livid that (a) the school didn't take the risk and at least call an ambulance, and (b) that the mother couldn't even be located. All the other parents were upset, too, and they all realized that the school had no documents or waivers (this was in the early 60's) stating they had the parents' permission to send the kid to a hospital if something terrible like that happened. So at least her injury changed things at that school, and not long afterward, all students' parents had to fill out a detailed care form and consent for treatment (if they wanted treatment to be rendered.)

Meanwhile, the girl was told she might never walk again. She did, and healed to where she didn't even have a limp. It's too bad, however, that someone's parents didn't do for her what you've been doing for that boy. As smart as this girl was, she grew up fast, and turned to drugs and alcohol like her mother did. With her brains, she would have had a promising career, but instead grew up to be pretty much a carbon-copy of her mother.

No excuses necessary... - LisaMT

[ In Reply To ..]
This situation is a no-brainer for me. I would just explain to my child that the other child's home is not acceptable (or safe) because of the lax supervision, and that it is not how we do things in our home so I wouldn't feel comfortable letting him/her stay there. I would still allow the other child to come over or spend the night as long as he wasn't putting ideas in my child's head that it's okay to run around the neighborhood, the mall, the woods or wherever, unsupervised.

I think it's important to explain your thinking and decisions to your children if they're old enough to understand, so that they will realize there are reasons why they can and can't do certain things, and that you have rules and standards that not everyone else might share, but this is how your family works.

No way I would let him go - no1joe

[ In Reply To ..]
I wouldn't let my child go over to play after school let alone stay the weekend. I've even said no to my son for situations not as bad as this one (filthy house - not untidy but FILTHY, indoor smoking, mean dogs, etc.). It sounds like mama's intuition is kicking in here for you, and if your gut is telling you "no" or making you feel uneasy, it's probably right. The only thing I wouldn't do is tell your son your reasoning here. As far as I can tell, it sounds like you really like this kid. With that being said... all kids can be a little mean (even my angel - lol). It would be horrible if there was a playground spat between your son and this boy to lead up to a "Well, my mom said that your mom (fill in the blank)." When your son asks why, I hate to suggest the standard "Because I said so" or something similar, but I would go that route. Maybe take the blame yourself and give him an "I get nervous when you're gone too long," and offer to take the boy with you for the weekend instead. You sound like a great and very caring mother... don't doubt yourself!

No way, no how - Protective Mom

[ In Reply To ..]
My daughter had friends like these growing up and I was mortified at how negligent their parents were in letting their daughters just run willy-nilly from pillar to post, unsupervised and absent for literally hours at a time without the parent knowing their location (and these kids didn't have cell phones).

I explained to my daughter in terms she would understand that while these kids were welcome to visit her at OUR home anytime they wished, my daughter was not allowed to go to their home and the reasons why. I explained to her that she was the most precious thing in the world to me and it was my "job" as her mommy to make sure she was always safe, 24/7, to the best of my ability.

When the other kids would ask her why she couldn't visit their house, I gave her the stock answer which was pretty much the truth - "My mom's really overprotective and doesn't like me out of her sight, so my friends have to visit at our house."

Worked like a charm and she didn't even have to lie or make excuses. I'm actually a bit shocked some of these friends of hers made it to adulthood (my daughter is 21 now), with the lack of parental involvement in their formative years and the way they just ambled about wherever they wanted to go with no supervision. Maybe I was overprotective, but at least I could always sleep well at night because I knew where my daughter was and she was SAFE. Just can't put a price on that feeling. She's still my baby and staying with my parents while she attends college. I still don't sleep well until I know she's safe and sound at their house, tucked in for the night, lol!

Just be as honest with your son as you can be in terms he'll understand. Just let his friends think you're the "crazy" one :-)

Similar Messages:

Jul 15, 2012
I hope someone here has some knowledge into these things and can give some advice. I'm sorry this is so long.... I am concerned and sad for my nephew, who is being denied visitation unless supervised. My nephew is 19 years old. He met the mother of his child, and she became pregnant right off the bat it seemed. Before the baby was born, they married. When the baby, which was a little girl, was 3 months old, they called it quits and she left. A couple wee ...

Mar 22, 2011
a death in the family? My mom has gone to my sister's home on hospice and it is just a matter of time that she will pass. My mom has been the grandmother symbol for my child. Because of loss of family contact from being placed with me to live, this child has experienced a lot of losses. She is about to turn 8. I would encourage her to be at the funeral and grave site ceremony, but do you think she is too young to be at the wake as well? It could be an opportuni ...

Nov 08, 2009
I went to the movies today, a new one that just came out about an overweight teenager from Harlem who was sexually abused by her father and mentally and physically abused by her mother. This movie was rated an R. Several years back it would have not had that lax of a rating. No prude here but the movie was completely filled with the most vile language I have heard in a movie but on top of that simulated rape scenes of the young teen with the father being the perpetrator. I saw many, many familie ...

Nov 09, 2009
My 12-year-old son argues with me about EVERYTHING. He is now saying that he wants to not go to college and live in a van. I told him fine, that is his decision when he is 18. He kept on with it because he wanted me to argue with him. I told him at this point when he is 12 there is no reason for me to argue about something like that...he kept on and on and on. It really bothers Melissa and she cries because Jake and I end up in debates/arguments almost every day and they are lasting ...

Dec 15, 2009
This is really cute, but this guy got himself in quit a predicament. Read the info at the top right about the poster of the video, this was him and his baby. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLErNXIYjMg ...

Apr 29, 2011
Anyone out there have a child with a disability and recieved child support from their ex after the age of 18? Both of my boys have Asperger's syndrome, high functioning autism. My older son is turning 21 in May and his dad had stopped the child support after he graduated from high school (about two weeks after he turned 18). Now my younger son is turning 18 in May and his dad told me today that he is cutting off that child support at the end of May. Neither boy is ab ...

Mar 30, 2010
So we finally were able to catch our 11 YOS sleepwalking this weekend. We had suspected he did this for a while but were not able to catch him...Saturday night I woke up to find him at the top of the stairs bending over the railing looking down into the foyer! What a creepy sight...I was freaked out! Anyone have any experience with this? Just needing some options to either keep him in the bed or keep him from going outside, which is our main fear. We have put bells on the bedroom door in hopes ...

May 21, 2010
I am not sure what to do about my child and would like opinions on who to see or what. When my son was around 5 years old, we lived in a house and he would say he "saw people" in the house. I would see him standing there and he would jump as if something startled him, but of course nothing was there. It got to the point that I couldn't even step out on the front porch without him being right under me, afraid to be inside by himself. Well, later on, my 16-year-ol ...

Apr 26, 2012
VR caught "The mother did the child in today for examining of" Dr dictated: "The mother brought the child in today for examination of ..." ...

Oct 16, 2012
Dtr owed over 8,000 in child support now and the sperm donor apparently has no intention of working. Child support enforcement will try to do "address verification" when we give them a new address but that's as far as that goes. Has anyone ever tried one of those companies that are supposed to help get your back owed money for a percentage? Do you know what the percentage is? ...

Feb 28, 2017
I was diagnosed with breast cancer yesterday, spread to the lymph nodes, and that is without a tissue diagnosis yet. It is that clear on the ultrasound. I adopted my granddaughter 7 years ago and that anniversary was this weekend. Four years ago this past weekend, my mother died and in her will left me her house and land. Unfortunately my sister had POA and had sold the house prior to my mom's death, then claimed there was nothing left of the estate - she kept the ...

Jul 19, 2015
My 5 year old daughter was being an all around menace: goofing off at the table, mouthing off, etc. She was not listening and laughing at my husband as he was trying to talk to her. He then tapped her on the mouth. Is this okay? I am a bit confused on the matter as I was never struck as a child. Please, I am asking for advice and not opening up the chance for negativity or people who want to bash me as a parent. Thank you ...

Jan 12, 2011
but they will picket the other ones. But, Fox is reporting a group called Angel Wings is going to be there at the funerals in groups of about 30 holding up fabric "Angel Wings" between the protestors and the funeral attendees. Good for them!! Wish I was close enough to join them. ...

Apr 02, 2013
I can't stand our justice system, I swear it makes me crazy! The news article, an Ohio man kills a 3-year-old child by having sex with her and suffocating her, which he ADMITS, but he actually gets a trial, because he is fighting the death penalty, because he didn't mean to kill her, he only meant to rape her! I mean, WHAT! He apparently was drunk and mad at his girlfriend (The child's mother) because she wouldn't have sex with him, so he decided to have sex ...

Dec 23, 2013
My friend has a child that had fevers (nothing else at all)around Thanksgiving, was taken to doctor. Fevers resolved and now back again, just fever. Has anyone had something similar with your child? Thanks. ...

Feb 06, 2014
I spent hours while growing up doing things I enjoyed. I spent hours at my house in the attic looking through big storage trunks that contained so many interesting things to me. I also loved going to a small stream close to my house to watch and collect things like minnows that I tried to grow into a frog, salamanders. Now as an adult I have not really one close friend, no one that I talk with on a regular basis. Am married and that is a close relationship, not lonely because I keep busy with my ...

Oct 20, 2014
Was just talking with my friend tonight. I have known as she has also for years that her 1st grader was not 100% "right," something was off with him. Tonight she tells me someone is finally maybe listening to her about him. He is in his own little world. I do not think autism because of the fact he will halfway interact "sometimes," does not reject a hug or kiss and maybe I am wrong but I thought autistic children were like that. I could be wrong. His teacher is every day trying to tell the moth ...

Dec 23, 2014
these kids should be having a wonderful time this season, getting ready for Santa Claus and baking cookies with their mom and dad, decorating the tree and being read stories before bed. But they are being beaten and taken out of their homes to live with strangers. Just breaks my heart. Honestly, sitting here crying and praying for these little babies. What the heck is wrong with people? ...

Apr 10, 2011
under a new piece of legislation introduced in the state's House of Representatives, employers would be able to pay anyone under the age of 20 as little as $5.25 an hour for their first 180 days on the job. The bill, LD 1346, also eliminates the maximum number of hours a minor 16 years of age or older can work on a school day and allows a minor under the age of 16 to work up to four hours on a school day during hours when school is not in session. With Maine's unemployment above ...

Jul 08, 2011
What could anybody's motive be for not reporting a child missing for 31 days and when the child is reported missing it is by a relative. Is not reporting a missing child a criminal act in your state? ...

Jun 17, 2011
Hello out there...my 22-year-old is home from college this summer and is going to take care of my neighbor's 2 daughters, ages 5 and 6, a couple of days a week probably for around 8 hours a day. What would be a good rate for her to charge? It's been so long, I don't even have a clue. I used to do daycare before my illustrious transcription career so I know people can't pay a normal minimum wage. Would 5/hr be good? Any suggestions would be greatl ...

Jun 04, 2014
This young tween just posted a picture and the teacher saw and said adorable. She then thanked him and said miss u. He was a teacher to her and another sibling of hers. He then said we miss you and asked if they could Skype or iChat with CB over the summer. What do you think, innocent or not. ...

Dec 09, 2010
Ted Turner founder of Commie News Network (CNN) and TBS at Cancun global summit wants one-child policy instituted. What a moron, but he is a progressive/lib after all. http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/ted-turner-urges-global-one-child-policy-to-save-planet/article1825977/ ...

Jul 15, 2011
I have listened to commentators, lawyers and jurors in Casey Anthony case and I am unable to understand how if a child goes missing and it is not reported this is not abuse. Wouldn't the primary person providing care for a child need assistance to look for the child at a certain point and if that person didn't get proper help from authorities in a timely manner and the child was harmed or killed would that be neglect/ab ...

May 19, 2010
My son is 10 years old and complains like an old man. Bless his heart! My heart breaks for him. My husband thinks he is just a drama king (and admittedly he can be at times), but I really and truly believe he is in pain and just has health issues. He tested positive for environmental allergies when he was 7 years old and had allergy shots for awhile, and was on Zyrtec, and a plethora of allergy medications. Now he is only taking Claritin p.r.n. and seems to be doing ...

Mar 21, 2015
I'm linking the article below, but first a comment. My better half is a coder but works half of the day getting authorizations for treatment. The clinic (3 docs) is having to consider hiring a full-time person just to do this, because it's become almost impossible to get authorization even for patients who have been on certain meds and treatment protocols for years and literally need them to stay alive or, in other cases, to have any kind of a life at all. I wondered when ...

Apr 13, 2015
Hillary Clinton weighed in on her 1975 legal defense of an accused child rapist on Saturday, her first comments on the case since it came under scrutiny following a Washington Free Beacon report last month. Clinton spoke in clinical, legal terms while explaining her defense of the rapist, who Clinton helped to avoid a lengthy prison term by relying on a technicality relating to the chain of evidence of his blood-soaked underwear, as well as arguing at the time that the 12-year-old victim may ha ...

Aug 15, 2015
nm ...

Apr 14, 2017
Jumana Nagarwala, 44, of Northville Michigan is accused of performing female genital mutilation on underage girls. According to a criminal complaint, Nagarwala performed the procedure on girls ages six to eight years old at a medical clinic in Livonia. Some of the children were brought from out of state for the illegal procedure. Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) is considered the complete removal or partial removal of the clitoris, known as a clitoridectomy. FGM is internationally recogniz ...

Mar 28, 2011
Ever since I moved, I get terrible seasonal allergies. I have a runny nose and am sneezy for weeks and weeks. My face itches, my ears itch, even my forehead itches!!! Anyone have any advice on how to help allergies???? ...