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Anyone have a child or know about attention deficit
Posted: Oct 20, 2014
Was just talking with my friend tonight. I have known as she has also for years that her 1st grader was not 100% "right," something was off with him. Tonight she tells me someone is finally maybe listening to her about him. He is in his own little world. I do not think autism because of the fact he will halfway interact "sometimes," does not reject a hug or kiss and maybe I am wrong but I thought autistic children were like that. I could be wrong. His teacher is every day trying to tell the mother about how he is not like the other children (mother knows and tries to get help). The mother talked with the principal of the school and he did some simple tests with the child and maybe more in depth ones are coming. One lady has told the mother do not let the doctor give them medicine for attention deficit. It makes them sleepy of a morning and then in the afternoon the drug wears off and then they are back to being terrible again. I have had no issues with my children such as this, do not know anyone with children with issues like this and that is why I am asking here if anyone has had or knows of similar issues. Thanks so much for giving any information you might know because I would like to pass anything on that might be of help to her. ;
kids - anon
[ In Reply To ..]All my kids have some form of ADD, ADHD, ODD, or just parts of a mix. One son was put on meds because he was also listed as depressed, but it was supposed to help control ADD. Once he was older & another son showed signs of ADD, he told me to never agree to meds for it ever again, said there was some control, but it made him feel worse in general, less "himself". The boy you describe doesn't sound ADD to me. He sounds more "disconnected" to me based on your words that he doesn't reject hug or kiss. It tells me that he may not reject it, but he's also not wanting those things. That tells me he doesn't have the connection to others that will make him want to feel affection and offer it to others (such as parents). My suggestion is contact a child psychologist (or your friend should), get the appropriate testing to determine what's really going on. That person will also send forms for parents, school personnel, perhaps close family friends (adult) to fill out for complete info on how this boy does in social situations such as school, home, social setting away from home. Other suggestion is NO meds without a solid diagnosis. So many of these psych meds have suicidal thoughts as a side effect that it's not worth the risk, especially in kids. Some may need those meds & do well, but it must have a real diagnosis to back it up, not just "let's try this & see what happens". I hope this has helped. My older son went through a terrible time, had suicidal thoughts and 2 attempts that very nearly killed him. These meds are powerful, but one must be absolutely sure the benefit outweighs the risk.
I have a son with ADHD....sm - Old Woman
[ In Reply To ..]He is now 23 years old and just got married this past weekend. He holds a job and has held the same job for over 3 years now. He manages his money well and is paying for his own vehicle and ATV. These are all milestones for him as he had such a problem concentrating as a child. He was on a variety of medications from the time he was about 6 until he was about 15 or 16, and quite honestly, the only difference the medications seemed to make were that they made him exhausted and took away the beautiful smile he had as a toddler, which he has never fully regained despite being off the medicine for almost as long as he was on it. He would take his medicine in the morning, go to school and function fairly well, but when he came home, he would crash on the couch and sleep for hours. Not the life I wanted for him, but all the "experts" told me that he needed the medication in order to function.
In retrospect, I believe my son has Asperger syndrome, which is a pervasive developmental disorder and part of the autism spectrum. When he was a child, there was not a lot of information available about this and I feel his true diagnosis was missed. I have added a link below about Asperger syndrome and would suggest that your friend find a facility that can test for this as what you have described seems to fit the Asperger description. These kids are usually quite talented in a given area...sports, music, art, etc., and also seem to be in their own little world a lot of the time. If there is a teaching facility nearby, I think that would be the place to start. Good luck to your friend.
sounds just like my grandson - anon
[ In Reply To ..]My grandson was diagnosed a couple of years ago with ADHD and ADD and this past year with autistic tendoncies. He would have been diagnosed with Asperger's but they did away with that diagnosis. He has repetitive issues and "his brain gets stuck" and he cannot move on. His toys have to be in a certain way, clothes cannot be in drawers, if they are he has a temper tantrum and throws them all over his room. He also was extremely aggressive toward anyone especially his 2 year old sister and other kids. No one wanted to be his friend and understandably so. He was constantly hitting, kicking or biting.
Last year he was in kindergarten and every other day he was being sent home because he was disrupting the class, getting in other peoples space, being aggressive and impulsive (took a handful of mashed potatoes and smashed them in someone's face). When we asked him why he didn't know, the idea came into his head and he did it. He would not sleep, he would be up all night and all day, then the next night he might sleep 4 hours or so.
We requested an IEP in writing and basically which has helped tremendously, he is on a combination of medications that work for a couple of months then either need to be increased or changed, he is in counseling and my daughter is learning new ways to deal with him. Overall I would say in the last year he has become 85-90% better because of the medication and counseling. This year so far the school says he is doing much much better and they are so happy to have him.
His medicine helps him stay calm, he is on Intuniv, Risperdal, and clonidine to help him sleep (but sometimes that does not work). This combination works for him. Through the psychiatrist they have tried numerous combinations and finally we found one that works. Now my grandson is a joy to be around. I am not saying he doesn't have his days where we want to pull our hair out but they are not as frequent as they used to be (which was every day).
It is very important to get the child an IEP. We had to threaten the school with a lawsuit to get them to do it. And we had to educate ourselves about how an IEP works and how it will benefit the child and it has. Now he is in a regular class half day and special ed class half day for the 1 on 1 and he is flourishing. He is 7 years old and reading at a 2nd grade level and his teacher just told us he is a wiz at math.
He even now has friends in our neighborhood and for the first time in his life he was invited to a birthday party for one of the boys in his class.
We are hoping that as he grows older the need for so much medication will decrease but time will tell.
As much as I hated to "label" him just getting the diagnoses was a relief. I felt for a few years that he had autistic tendoncies and took him to numerous doctors thinking he was autistic but it was his pediatrician who spent some time with him and saw the autistic tendoncies and that got the ball rolling. She was a tremendous help with school and other doctors.
There is light at the end of the tunnel but its going to take work on your friend's side. I am so glad we fought like we did for my grandson and it is paying off. Not saying the battle is over but we educated ourselves on what to do and we fight to get it done for him.
Feel free to email me with any questions or if I can be of further help.
Autism is a spectrum disorder so there is a range-sm - anon
[ In Reply To ..]My 10 year old is autistic and was diagnosed around the age of 3. He is able to accept hugs and kisses just fine, sometimes initiates them on his own (not frequently though).
Before an IEP, thorough testing needs to be done to determine needs. I would first lean hard on the school district to do this. Many times the districts have the most funding and experienced professionals because they cover such a wide range. However, they are people to and personalities, etc. can come into it. Every few years testing is re-done, the last one who evaluated my son was not a good fit (he was on loan from a different district). The teachers and administrators who knew my son stepped up to bat and it all worked out, but the data is basically unusable. If she feels she is not getting adequate services, then testing can be pursued through outside sources and the best start would probably be with their pediatrician to get the ball rolling. My son's diagnosis was first made through a team from the university. If a diagnosis is made on the outside, that should be sufficient for an IEP.
If he does not qualify for an IEP, there are still other avenues to explore. The school counselor (at our school it is a social worker) can pull kids to work on social skills, etc. and that may be helpful as well. The procedure for this is either SAT OR SAP or something like that but is something the school should likewise be aware of.
I think it is too early to even know if medications are necessary. My personal opinion is that medications are a very personal thing that are necessary and helpful for some and detrimental to others and therefore should not automatically be ruled out but considered carefully. There are other avenues to try as well, such as diet which some people have had remarkable success with and others not. I wish your friend much luck, parenting is not easy under normal circumstances and a child who is "different" takes it to another level of difficulty.
ADD CHILD - MUZZY
[ In Reply To ..]I had a truely ADHD child in 1964 when nothing was thought about it - you just had a bad kid with behavior problems. Do not discount mds until you try them. Just be very sure your child has the proper response to the med and not too many side effects. I diagnosed my child from a magazine article in a women's magazine in about 1968. Family doc gave him Ritalin, which was a miracle for our whole family. You have to be your child's advocate throughout this process. An ADD kid will react differently than a "normal" kid to stimulant medications - it will calm them down and a "normal" kid would get very hyper. Sometimes a small dose of an antidepressant will do the trick, sometimes it requires the stimulant meds. The proper healthcare professional should diagnose the child and not a teacher or school nurse.
My son is an adult ADD, but is very mechanically inclined, so he has a job he should not be able to do, but he does it very well and is actually in demand on jobs. His behavior is something else though, so not every forman wants him on their job site. He has poor impulse control and very bad language with a big temper. Life is hard for him, but he manages fairly well. I wish there had been some treatment available for him when he was a child. I tried to find someone for him, but it was such a new concept there was just nothing available for him.
Autism comes in different forms - some are "high functioning" with just a few symptoms as you described. It is now called autism spectrum disorder. The hard hit kids are the ones that don't interact, live in their own little world, and make that rocking motion. The latest wisdom says that the earlier these kinds are started in therapy the better they respond and the better the outcome will be for later in life.
Having a child like that is a challenge for the whole family and certainly he deserves a chance to be properly treated so he can have a full life as he gets older.
Good luck to your friend in the future. Remember, educating yourself about a problem always helps solve that problem so you get the best resolution.
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