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What I learned this holiday about next holiday ...

Posted: Dec 27, 2009

I learned I will not purchase any gifts from the "wish lists" of the youth in our family. Yes, this includes my own kids.

Only 1 out of the 4 had any surprises at all in their gifts. Mind you, these 4 range in age from 9 to 24 years. The 24yo was surprised. The other 3 knew exactly what they were getting - recognized the boxes - made such statements about knowing all their gifts. Not hateful, not ungrateful but expectant.

The 2 youngest are my nephews. Neither one have ever (I mean that literally) been denied any toy or techie device ever wanted. In fact, every single trip to ANY store their entire lives has included a toy purchase. The 9yo, after racking up enormous amounts of gifts at both sets of grandparents' houses and his own, announced with tears how disappointed he was that he didn't get a specific toy on his list. His mother then proceded to tell him it was because he did not get his letter off to Santa in time. I then made everyone irritated with me by loudly stating he should be grateful for the NUMEROUS items he did get and that NO ONE should get everything they want, that Christmas was not simply a get-your-wish-list-fulfilled holiday as he had been led to believe.

Now the fam is mad at me as I have announced next year I will buy what I want them to have - not what they wish for. I may well not even be present on Christmas day since it really isn't about Christ if we are only concerned with the kids getting what is on their lists.

Again, no hatefulness, no whining, etc., but just a plain and simple sense of total expectancy and utter absence of the meaning of Christmas.

Tired of it. No more for me.

Thanks for reading.

;

I so totally agree with you. I did the same this year and - RoadRunnerMT

[ In Reply To ..]
there was very little surprises at all. I've already told my children next year, I will buy what I want to buy for them. Forget the wish list or letter to Santa! I kinda took all the fun out of Christmas here.

I also agree - no wish list

[ In Reply To ..]
I don't even like gift registries. I've had the same experience as you have at our various family gatherings. It seems silly to sit around and watch people open gifts that were basically demanded via wish list. There's no surprise at all. There is no element of wonder and gratitude. What's the point in that. If the holiday is simply about shopping for one another, we could do that at any other point in the year.

Christmas - mt

[ In Reply To ..]
My husband thought that for many years. The kids always made a list for Santa and then he would always aim to fill that list. We argued terribly over it. I always told the kids to make a wish list but remember they won't get everything they want. I told them once again this year now that they are older (15, 13, 10) that Christmas is to come from the heart and that means people are to buy for other people what they think that person would enjoy, not necessarily everything they want. I think it makes for more gratefulness. Hubbie has finally come around also. Who wants to know what their presents are? Hopefully they won't look back and be disappointed.

It's not the list that causes the problem - MTmommy2

[ In Reply To ..]
It's the way the parents have raised these children to be accustomed to getting everything they demand.

I have 3 kids, 12 and under, who made wish lists to Santa. They all asked for either an ATV or an Xbox/Playstation. The youngest one also wanted a metal detector.

If I weren't so leery of child predators, I would post their video online for you to see the joy and the surprise on each of their faces when they got their ATVs and the youngest his metal detector. We opted not to give them the ATVs right away. We hid them in the garage and let them open their other presents. They were all 3 contented with what they got before the ATVs and were playing with their tinker toys for about an hour when we led them out to the garage. Their reaction was so awesome to see!

As if that wasn't enough, my parents decided to buy them the Xbox 360. If I thought their reaction to the ATVs was awesome, I was in total shock with their reaction to the Xbox. They were all jumping around and hugging everyone and saying how they couldn't believe they got it.

I taught my kids to be grateful for what they get, but not to expect everything they ask for. My oldest also asked for a cell phone on a plan and he didn't get it. My other asked for a remote control helicopter that he didn't get. None of them mentioned the things they didn't get.

It's all in how you raise your kids. It's a shame your holiday was ruined because of the way these parents chose to raise their kids. I hope next year goes better for you.

really? - cj

[ In Reply To ..]
I have to ask this. You bought ATVs for three kids under age 12? Are we talking real ATVs or some kind of toy here?

I think thats an excellent reason to get off the - xmas gift merry-go-round altogether. sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I did a couple years ago, and boy was it ever liberating! Now I just enjoy the holidays for what they are - holidays - and thumb my nose at the packed malls, tree lots, parking-lot wars, stress and expense. Tell the kids if they want presents next year, to earn their own money, save it, and buy gifts for each other, cuz "Mommie don't play dat game no more". ;D

I opted out abt 20 years ago - "liberating" is right! sm - ChiaPet

[ In Reply To ..]
We don't even put up a tree, decorations, no gifts. We spend the day quietly (watching old movies, eating something good we both enjoy) and I feel a sense of contentment every year. We need LESS STUFF, not more and watching others rush around and spend their way into debt - only to give to the ungrateful mentioned in the original poster's post is very unsettling.

True Meaning - the sun

[ In Reply To ..]
Probably everyone gets frustrated because the true meaning of Christmas is not what we know today. The true meaning is a pagan holiday and basically it is everybody getting together on the darkest night of the year and getting drunk and cheering each other up with gifts and evergreen trees and food and a warm fire.

The churches just piggybacked and then the capitalist incorporated all of the pagan rituals, threw in Santa, birthdays and anything else for good measure. You would never be able to pick it out and separate it. Even the Puritans on the first Christmas in Jamestown went wild that afternoon and started singing and being goofy, which was not very Puritan! So there is no "true meaning" of Christmas per se, and no one has been able to control it..ever.

Nicely put, fellow Pagan (NM) - Wiccan

[ In Reply To ..]
:P

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