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Holiday squabble

Posted: May 13, 2013

I have two grown 30+ year old sons who have jealousy and rivalry issues. One son invited me, their step-dad, his sister, and his grandmother to lunch for Mother's Day. I accepted and asked if his brother was invited and he said no. I thought maybe my other son would be at his in-laws, but he wasn't. He got hurt. I tried to make other plans with him in the afternoon, but he was hurt and rude. I finally told the oldest son that I would have to cancel lunch, that I couldn't have Mother's Day with two thirds of my children while the other lives right in the same town. They BOTH proceeded to begin a texting war and called me names and the oldest even said "F-you" to ME on Mother's Day. I cried all afternoon. It ruined Mother's Day for my teenage daughter. She asked her brothers to "grow up" and they (via texts --- nobody is rude in person anymore) called her names including the "B" word and berated her. All of this was after we had gone to CHURCH. Prayer is the only thing I believe can help. I think they are selfish men with sin in their hearts and God can change them because I sure can't. Thank you.

;

horrible holidays - grown to hate holidays

[ In Reply To ..]
I have the same issues with two of my daughters. I used to love the holidays, big gatherings, fun, loved having entire family over. Now I hate the holidays and it always ends up in a huge arguement and both of them mad at me. They absolutely refuse to sit in a room together at any time, birthdays, holidays or just get togethers, so everything has to be done separately. When either of them have birthdays for their family they don't invite the other family and since I am going they get mad at me. I have tried to explain to them this is their arguement and they need to solve it themselves (they are both in their 30s), that mommy is not solving it for them but if I had too then they both need to be turned over my knee and given a shift spanking and kick in the butt. That definitely did not help the situation but too bad. I agree with you completely, they are selfish and immature. For myself I am about ready to say stay at your house for the holidays and I will stay at mine and just drop the gifts off.

This has been ongoing for the past 7 years and I wish I knew how to nip this in the bud but I don't. Last Thanksgiving I went to Florida to visit my son so I wouldn't have to go through that again.

Holidays were always such a big thing in my family and now I dread them. I have prayed to God and asked for help with this situation but so far nothing.

I have spent many holidays or birthdays with just me and my husband because of this fight and believe me they were at least quiet. In fact when my husband and I got married, my oldest daughter would not let her children come or be in the my wedding nor did her family come to my wedding because of this nasty fight. They are never wrong, its always the other one that did something to tick off the other one and I feel like I am raising 2 year olds again.

I wish I had an answer for you but as you can see I don't have one. Only thing I can think of is to disown both of them and they are coming real close to that. It will kill me because then I won't get to see my grandkids anymore but I can't stand this fighting any more.

Well - Hmmm

[ In Reply To ..]
Obviously, they have no respect for their mother. I would reckon this is not the first time you called them selfish men with sins in their heart. That line is sure to win them over, eh? I'd have a few choice words for you, too, mom if that's your attitude. You don't sound particularly lovable or deserving of any respect.

I know, you're going to pray for me for my hate in my heart. Okay. I am not going to pray for you, because you are obviously perfect and don't need anybody's help.

No it was the first time - I called them that

[ In Reply To ..]
and I sure don't get your anger. This is a prayer request board and that was what I asked for. If you don't want to pray for me, don't. I suspicion it wouldn't be heard even if you did.

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