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Marriage/Name Change Question

Posted: Apr 27, 2010

I got married in October and am just now getting around to doing all the legalities for the formal name change (just a bit late, lol!).

Now that I have the certificate in my hot little hands, is the best place to start everything at the DMV with my driver's license, then to the bank, the Social Security office, etc? Is there any particular order I need to do this in? I know I need to FAX the certificate to my employer so they can legally change the name on payroll, email, etc., but it's all the other places I need to change everything that has me a bit confused.

Does DMV seem to be the #1 place to start changing everything over? Also, since I have an EIN, do I need to send documentation of the name change to the IRS?

Gosh, this is all just unexplicably confusing and overwhelming to me at the moment and I'm not sure why, lol!

TIA!!!

;

Name change - Eurosepsis

[ In Reply To ..]
The DMV is probably the best place to start since most places will just accept your new driver's license as proof of identity, although you will probably need your marriage license too for some places. I would then go to the bank since your checks will need to be changed and that will give you time to get them mailed to you. Social Security is easy since most places now can do it while you wait and it will cause less trouble with the IRS. I didn't have to notify the IRS since my SS# stayed the same and by the time I filed my taxes, all the changes had taken place.

There really is no "right" place to start, but like I said, the DMV is always best since a lot of places will accept that as proof - those little things that you don't think about (library cards, the post office if you have a P.O. Box, etc.)

Good luck and congratulations!

Thanks so much! - RubySoho

[ In Reply To ..]
I just found out that apparently, at least here in CA, it's the Social Security office that has the golden ticket first. The DMVs out here apparently won't touch it anymore without the revised SS card. Luckily, the SS office is just down the street so that helps.

Gosh, I hadn't even thought of library cards and those other places...I'm going to start a list and check them off one by one as I take care of them, otherwise I'll surely forget something, lol!

Thanks again for the info...I really appreciate it :-)

Wow--I got my name changed on EVERYTHING except... - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
social security and only changed that 4 years down the line because it caused a problem when we bought our second house--the first time noone cared. I just filed taxes under my maiden name.

......and your passport - change

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

Why change your name? sm - Long time MT

[ In Reply To ..]
I don't really see the point of changing one's name. It's actually kind of archaic and patriarchal when you think about it. How come men never change their name? Besides the hassle of all the things that have to be changed from passport to credit cards, it makes it very hard for old friends to find you when you are no longer YOU. I remarried 2 years ago and still carry my own name which is most assuredly part of my identity.

Because I love my new last name, lol! - RubySoho

[ In Reply To ..]
It's French and I just love looking it and saying it, and it makes me feel more connected to him on some level. Guess I'm just a silly romantic...but a happy one!

I changed mine because... - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
My husband's name is best gift he could give me. It is patriarchal--what's wrong with that?

I think it is downright weird to get married and not - maiden name

[ In Reply To ..]
take on the husband's name.

What do women who stick to their maiden name want to prove with this?

Their independence, or telling their husbands and ALL the world that they are "free spirits" and nobody can put them into a "cage?"

Doesn't this cause problems having to explain that yes, one is married, inspite of the maiden name, but....????

For those it would be better to add their husband's name to their maiden name, connected with a hyphen, Hillary did this for some time.......

Hillary Rodham-Clinton

Sticking to my maiden name would make me feel like being still single.

Just saying....

maiden name - kept my name

[ In Reply To ..]
that I'm in an equal partnership with my identity still intact. That I'm no one's possession any more than someone else is mine. That rather than being perceived as the "smaller half" of something, I'm one of two complete entities that make up something bigger. Keeping my own name reflected all this for me, & it doesn't cause problems because I don't have that many conversations about my marital status on the basis of my name, & when I do, it's often a chance to share this part of my world view with someone who may not have thought of it this way before.

Oh geeze... - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
All that from a last name...hmmm...very interesting...

lol - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
to that comment:)

I had a heck of a time changing my name with SS. My maiden and married names are only 2 letters different. They thought I was trying to get an alias, I guess.

yes, all that in a last name - sm - sssdt

[ In Reply To ..]
The person she replied to attached a lot of meaning to the taking of her husband's name and you didn't say a word. Yet someone attaches meaning to keeping their maiden name and you criticize. Might as well just say what you mean instead of hinting around at it.

I agree with you 100% (nm) - Long time MT

[ In Reply To ..]
NM

An even bigger dilemma...sm - Samantha

[ In Reply To ..]
and bigger embarrassment for a woman is having to state you're married to a man.

Just saying...

Hillary didn't hyphenate - My3

[ In Reply To ..]
She turned her maiden name into her middle name: Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Her last name is Clinton. Not Rodham-Clinton.

I prefer that to hyphenating .. it is more "your" name still.

I'm still me. - Kept both, no hyphen

[ In Reply To ..]
I've been married 25 years. Got married during the great Yuppie self-absorption era. The way I looked at it, either I kept my maiden name, which was my father's, or I took my husband's name. Either way, I'd end up with a man's last name. I didn't see keeping my maiden name as being a statement of independence, and I didn't think that I was no longer ME because I took on my husband's name.

I simply kept my maiden name and added my husband's name. I did not hyphenate it; just wrote it all out in the same way you might write Mary Ann Smith. I loved my father and my family of origin, and I loved my maiden name. Adding my husband's name, for me, was a show of public unity that I wanted to make, both with my family and with my husband and the new family we were forming. I was criticized on both counts. Was even matron of honor in a friend's wedding whose husband had a hissy conniption about my place card at the table. He insisted that it NOT having my maiden name on it. I personally didn't care, thinking that was a silly little thing to worry about when planning a wedding. But, my husband apparently had an opinion he wanted to share with my friend's husband. He told the groom, "It's none of MY business whether or not my wife uses my last name, so why do you think it's any of YOURS?"

To each his own. Take whatever legal name you wish. I don't see why there is any need to criticize either choice.

sounding in late on this, - but,

[ In Reply To ..]
I recently legally changed my name at the court house and was told by the clerk to change my name FIRST at Social Security because of Homeland Security issues, then DMV and everywhere else. I was told never to give anyone the original notarized copy except to allow a copy to be made.

My county has a marriage name change packet to assist the process. Check with your local county as where I live you have to change it at the courthouse before going anywhere else (including SS).

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