A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

Anybody else have a marriage that's about thisclose to going under?

Posted: Mar 19, 2014

One big situation aggravated by a few small others, and I'm afraid we're going to be done for pretty soon if we cant straighten this out.

I dont really have anyone to talk to, dont want to go to a counselor. I know very well what's wrong, he's so dam stubborn, other things are bothering him right now but he wont admit it and that adds to the whole mess.

I do have a very nice Catholic nun who I've gotten to know, does social/charity work, but I really dont want to take the problems to her because I know her as a friend. Her faith will obviously tell her and me to never give up on marriage or life.

I guess I wanted to put this somewhere just to post it. Crap. I hate this. Wish I could either fast forward life about 3 months and have this mess done, or just shut my whole life off like a switch and be done with it.

Not really looking for advice, I guess I only wanted to know that I'm not the only one in this boat.

;

You are not alone :( - MIMT

[ In Reply To ..]
.

Anyone else have a marriage....? - VERYBENDY

[ In Reply To ..]
I've been there & you have my sympathy. But PLEASE try to overcome your reluctance to,speak to a counselor. Try one and if you don't hit it off, try another and another until you find the right fit. You will survive this even though you may feel right now that you can't. And remember, work can be a blessed distraction at these times.

I feel for you... - BeenThere

[ In Reply To ..]
I hope you keep posting or journaling, even just to put down your thoughts. Sometimes you just have to get it out, and I know that can help. I ended a 21 year marriage a dozen years ago and thought I would not live thru it - I was so devastated, but I DID make it through (by staying busy, journaling, working out, taking a second job, saying yes to every invite to every thing by every one for years). Anyway, by doing all that, one day I looked around and realized I had built my OWN very awesome life (purely by accident and survival mode). So, if you decide that is the way you want to go, it can be a great life without too. Or do the same thing TOGETHER, and THAT can be a great life as well. Good luck to you! Hugs...

I'm in exactly your position - - Me too

[ In Reply To ..]
I've been married 28 years, the last ten of which have been going downhill. Nothing big that I can use to say "You're to blame!" It would be easier that way. But no.

I went into counseling a year ago with the goal of coming to a decision about my marriage and being happy with my decision. EVERY TIME I decided to stay and make it work, I flip-flopped and felt like I was lying and playing the lyrics to Pearl Jam's "Betterman" in my head. Last week, I finally decided to go.

The problem is, I can't just yet. I have to get myself into a position where I can. We own a house and 20 years of accumulated stuff and . . . I don't know where to begin.

I'm right with you. I wish I could wake up six months from now and have it all over. I hate to hurt him. I know he loves me in his own way, but he's a manipulative, self-serving, angry man who is not going to change and I just can't live with that anymore.

My heart is with you. Let's take this road together!

You have no idea hwo short life really is, if - you did you would make a decision

[ In Reply To ..]
to start anew, do better and believe me when I say it is possible. Giving the other side. I was with a guy for years and then wound up marrying because we started a business and thought that would be better in the long run. Nope, was not. I stayed around, same story as above, like in a place that while not comfortable, something familiar. Starting at age about 30 and fast forward to age 59, years really wasted. He died and I never wished that but was like the world lifted off my shoulders. I was terribly unhappy, just did not want to make a change because of "stuff." I thought never marriage again. Wrong again. I married a guy later on that same year and that was almost 15 years ago now and joy, joy. The best thing, wished I had just run off with him years ago, had he asked that is. Ladies, please believe me. Life is terribly short and I feel like I wasted really good years just staying put so to say. The thought might be daunting but blink and then life is in your golden years and all those years gone.

You are not alone but I hope you reconsider - the counselor option

[ In Reply To ..]
I have mixed emotions about counselors, but one thing they do is to help you be objective about your situation/logical... Your husband may need the counseling more than you but if he won't go, you could get invaluable insight as to the problems you face, what you can/can't do to fix or cope with them.

HandwritingOnTheWall - ButTruthHurts

[ In Reply To ..]
Was married myself for 20 years and when it finally ended, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I could see how hard I struggled to keep it going. I too had no one to turn to but I journaled for years. Never regretted the marriage as still feel it is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. Went to some counselors but all they had to offer was "you have to move forward and get on with your life." So that is what I did and never married again, no thanks. Like being in charge of my own life but miss not having anyone to share it with.

You are so not alone - Depressed

[ In Reply To ..]
Talking to anyone - even a friend or acquaintance - will make you feel better. Hang in there. Take care of yourself. (After 30 years, I am afraid to go out on my own - especially barely making minimum wage.)

Similar Messages:

Aug 29, 2013
Image below. ...

Jun 27, 2015
So I woke up this morning and took stock of my quarter-century old heterosexual marriage, in light of yesterday's historic ruling by the SCOTUS. Imagine my complete lack of shock and surprise when I found it was every bit as healthy, strong, and meaningful as it has always been, despite the fact that all gay Americans can now enjoy the same privelege. The sanctity of my marriage appears entirely unaffected. Oh, and the nation hasn't been destroyed by some cataclysmic event as a resul ...

Dec 02, 2009
A right to say 'I do'By Richard CohenTuesday, December 1, 2009 The truth is that if Maj. Nidal Hasan, the accused killer of 13 people at Fort Hood, had entered the officers club there with a nice handbag on his arm, perhaps a Gucci tote, he would have been out of the Army by the end of the week. Since he was merely antisocial, a misfit, an incompetent psychiatrist and a likely Islamic fanatic, he was retained and promoted. This says something about America. On the subject of gays, we a ...

Feb 23, 2011
I'm just curious how the president and the attorney general can decide which laws to defend and which ones not to. Whether you agree with this law or not, it is a law and to be repealed, it has to go through certain channels, not just being ignored by the WH. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110223/ap_on_re_us/us_gay_marriage ...

Jan 14, 2011
Please pray for my marriage. I have been married to my husband for 22 years and have had our up and down. I was there for him when he lost his job and had to step up to provide for my family and put him through school. After he graduated from school 5 years ago, he became a different person. He became verbally and physically abusive. Am at a point, I just want to leave but my faith and belief in my vows makes me stay. Please pray for me… to give me cour ...

Feb 03, 2010
overrated?...I mean everyone has different life experiences with love etc. But, for those who are happily married ... How many of you have one dark little corner of your mind where you wish that you were not married? .. nothing to do with bad marriages..but those who actually live a good married life ... but still have that nagging what if? What if you have a place unhibited by male presence .. not having to deal with another person's moods and needs .. selfish? perhaps..but truthfully ho ...

Dec 06, 2012
goes to.... These cute little old ladies. Well done, Washington! ...

May 07, 2013
They are the 11th state to allow same-sex marriage. Slowly, but surely! Minnesota is reportedly right behind them! ...

Oct 21, 2013
I'm still getting excited with each new state that joins in. I really didn't expect to see this kind of momentum to this degree during my lifetime. It's the Civil Rights Movement of our day, and I couldn't be happier to watch its progress unfold. Same-sex marriages start in New Jersey, 14th state to recognize such unions By Ed Payne, CNN updated 11:13 AM EDT, Mon October 21, 2013 STORY HIGHLIGHTS Newark mayor conducts ...

Oct 23, 2014
May I please vent and get a few opinions on this? My husband works with a lady who developed a crush on him. I would not call my husband "flirty" but he is one of those people who are extremely nice all of the time and I could see myself even getting the wrong idea and maybe thinking he was flirting with me if I didn't know him. So, the lady he works with apparently developed a crush (we have been married 18 years) and she knows a mutual friend of mine and spoke about my h ...

Jun 26, 2015
it's been a good week😊 ...

Jan 17, 2012
I would appreciate any opinions/advice on this. My husband is constantly complaining about food. I am not a very good cook. It is not something I enjoy, and I am just not very creative about it. I just offered four different options for dinner tonight, and he wanted none of them. I don't have anything else I can make, so this just led to a big fight as usual. Frankly, if someone were cooking for me all the time, I would eat whatever they put in ...

Oct 16, 2009
x ...

Jan 13, 2010
By Theodore B. Olson | NEWSWEEKPublished Jan 9, 2010 Why same-sex marriage is an American value.Together with my good friend and occasional courtroom adversary David Boies, I am attempting to persuade a federal court to invalidate California's Proposition 8—the voter-approved measure that overturned California's constitutional right to marry a person of the same sex.My involvement in this case has generated a certain degree of consternation among conservatives. How could a polit ...

Mar 03, 2010
It's now legal in DC, woot! Check out the last paragraph for the immediate economic impact. NJ ...

Apr 27, 2010
I got married in October and am just now getting around to doing all the legalities for the formal name change (just a bit late, lol!). Now that I have the certificate in my hot little hands, is the best place to start everything at the DMV with my driver's license, then to the bank, the Social Security office, etc? Is there any particular order I need to do this in? I know I need to FAX the certificate to my employer so they can legally change the name on payroll, email, etc., ...

Jun 04, 2010
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xxpd3Ye0zA ...

May 09, 2012
. ...

Aug 23, 2012
Another by flip flopper (liar) in chief ...

Mar 18, 2013
. ...

Mar 25, 2013
I loved this article and I love even more the obvious turn of the tide regarding same-sex marriage. It's mainly about a former Bush aide, explaining why conservatives shoudl support same-sex marriage. ...One hundred thirty-one prominent Republicans have signed a pro-same-sex marriage legal brief that is clearly at odds with the House GOP leadership and the party's platform in the most recent election. ..."if you believe in freedom, if you believe in limited government, if you b ...

Apr 18, 2013
from dailyoftheday.com: After New Zealand passed their marriage equality bill, the entire crowd in the parliament broke out into a traditional [Maori] love song titled “Pokarekare Ana,” serenading the the bill’s sponsor, MP Louisa Wall. It was a heartwarming sight and one well-deserved for Wall, who can now choose to marry her partner. Also of note is this video of Pakuranga MP Maurice Williamson making some hilarious and pointed comments about the sti ...

Jul 03, 2013
Question......how do you keep the "sparks" alive in your marriage? I have been married for 20 years and I do love my husband with every bit of me, BUT the romance aspect is just gone. He tries to do romantic things for me, but I guess it's more that the "attraction" is gone in a way, it is so confusing. Like, my husband and I are still intimate, but we don't kiss or flirt or anything like that. It almost just feels like he is a family member or something. ...

Aug 30, 2013
Good news day. I'm so happy for them and for our country. http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2013/08/29/the-irs-and-medicare-will-now-recognize-same-sex-marriages-all-of-them/ ...

Feb 02, 2011
Take this Tony Perkins and chew on it for a while! Our younger generation does not believe the way your old generation believes and there is nothing you can do to stop it! Barbara Bush is coming out in support of gay marriage. The 29-year-old daughter of President George W. Bush announces in a web video posted late Monday that she supports same-sex marriage. “I’m Barbara Bush and I’m a New Yorker for marriage equality,” she says. “New York is about fairne ...

Mar 23, 2012
I have been married for 30+ years. I just received a form from the health iinsurance carrier requesting a copy of my marriage certificate to prove I can be covered under the family policy. Huh? This is the first time in 30 years I have been asked for it. The requesting form cites a new law passed in my state passed last summer. The form says they have hired a special auditing form to do this audit. Oh yes, now it makes sense. Republican state legislature is passing more bills to take a ...

Feb 26, 2013
[NOTE that 27% of voters identify themselves as Republican these days. 42% identify as Republicans or independents who lean Republican; 47% identify as Democrats or independents leaning Democrat.] February 25, 2013 WASHINGTON — Dozens of prominent Republicans — including top advisers to former President George W. Bush, four former governors and two members of Congress — have signed a legal brief arguing that gay people have a constitutional right to ...

Mar 18, 2013
After recently learning that his son is gay. Senator Portman co-sponsored the 1996 federal ban on same-sex marriage. "Knowing that my son is gay prompted me to consider the issue from another perspective: that of a dad who wants all three of his kids to lead happy, meaningful lives with the people they love ... and my belief that we are all children of God." ...

Mar 21, 2013
This study was released yesterday and oh yes, there are graphs. Of the reasons why people have changed their minds, they were as follows: 32% said they knew someone who was homosexual. 25% said they got older and more open-minded/grew up/had more time to think about it. 18% said it's inevitable/the world is changing. 18% said everyone is free to choose love & happiness/government should stay out of it. 8% said because they believe in equal rights. 5% said because of moral ...

Apr 29, 2015
if they fail to perform marriages, does this include Muslim mosques too or just the Christians? ...