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kids, ex, pretty much homeless... advice?

Posted: Jun 9, 2010

I broke it off with my ex about 3 months ago which, believe me, was a wonderful thing. It seemed at the end he ignored everyone and his primary goal in life was working and then smoking pot and passing out at home. I really had no where to go. I moved from GA to TN in with my parents. So for a little while there were 7 of us in a 3bd/1bath house. My mom works 3rd shift and I couldnt find a place to live fast enough so we decided to let the kids go visit their dad in GA. I figured I could give him some money and treat it as a child support for about a month until I found a place to live. So I gave him $60 in cash, paid $54 on his cell, and then $100 Visa gift card. I figured I would give him more later. His mom gave him $100 and his dad had bought food in addition to the food I already bought for them. So you would think that would last him about 2 weeks. IT DIDN'T. He texted me the other day asking for more money, which I don't have till I get paid. He told me that he couldn't believe how much they ate!

I sent him $30 because its all I had. Im GOING to get my kids back!!! His power gets shut off on the 15th so I am definately going to get them back!!! I mean he doesn't have custody so I can just go grab them. He doesn't have a job and I'm sick of his lack of responsibility. I was wondering if I can get a child support order even if he didn't have a job. We were appart once for 6 months and he gave me all of $100. Meanwhile I found out he was buying clothes from the mall and eating out all the time at expensive places. There is a lot more bad things I could say about the relationship, but for times sake I will just say he is not a good person LOL. What should I do?

;

re: TNW - been there

[ In Reply To ..]
You need to get yourself on the public assistance program ASAP! They can get you legal aid and on a food stamp program and perhaps get you into an apartment. Instead of giving him anymore money, cut him off. I know you're doing it for the kids, but the money obviously isn't being used like you hoped it would be.

I had 4 kids when the ex KICKED US OUT. That was 3 years ago, I didn't have a pot to p*** in and he didn't care that the kids were suffering also.

I did exactly what you are doing, moved back home, had to send them back to their dad until I "got on my feet", but he did the same thing!

I finally swallowed what was left of my pride and went banging on the welfare office door. We're doing okay, not great but okay and it's getting better.

This is a temporary set back. The first couple of years were the hardest, but having our own place is definitely better than staying with my parents again. They wouldn't let me forget what a lose the ex was and wanted to take over parenting...

Best of luck to you. Don't give up, but STOP supporting the EX!! I promise you, you're not doing the kids or yourself any favors. He will never change and you should just get used to the idea that you'll probably never get any child support from him. I haven't and I'm okay.

PS: He has not one time called his children voluntarily. They are the ones who initiate the contact.

god thank you so much! - TNW

[ In Reply To ..]
I will totally do that. I bet you never thought you would be in this situation. I sure as heck didn't! Looking around I think its a common thing! Thanks for telling me your story. In a way I feel less alone.

TNW - been there

[ In Reply To ..]
We have to stick together! Also, I forgot, check your area for an Angelfood Minstries. You can get a FANTASTIC value on food through them, and they can also direct you to assistance programs. This is a life saver for me. A weeks worth of food for 30 - 35$! I believe they take the foodstamps.

Been there too. - StartrekMT

[ In Reply To ..]
So sorry you have both gone/going through this... hang in there... things have to get better. At least for the children, you have to be strong!

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