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Advice Please

Posted: Nov 17, 2012

Hi all,

I have been offered a position in the front office of a medical facility. I am probably going to take it. While my problem will not weigh into my not taking it, I need some advice on how to handle something.

Way back when I worked in a large office, there was ALWAYS something going on where they wanted everyone to chip in financially for something. Somebody is having a baby, somebody's somebody is having a baby, somebody is having a birthday, somebody is retiring, somebody is getting married, somebody blah, blah, so let's all chip in for a gift or lunch. While I don't mind this in a small office of maybe 6-7 people, it's nuts when there are 20 or 30.

I don't want to come off as a snob, but I can't do things like this consistently. Half the time, you don't really even know the person or know (period) the person's person.

Any advice without coming off horrible, or without coming off like I'm picking and choosing? Honestly, if it's someone who I become friends with or something, I don't mind chipping in for a birthday lunch or something, but I don't want to chip in/buy, whatever for someone in another department I hardly even know. Even if I know them, if I'm not close to them, I just don't want to get all that involved.

Thanks!

;

I see you and feel the same. I would just say - something like (sm)

[ In Reply To ..]

(a little fib, or not) ..."I'd love to but I'm just coming back from a lay-off (or financial disaster - people these days do understand, and won't ask) and can't just yet. If they don't know you, won't matter to them anyway. If they do know you direct, I'd send a separate card with best wishes and a lushous chocolate covered strawberry (3.00 at any mall in a great gift box).

Above all, don't feel bad. People understand the economy as well as being the new guy and not knowing jack from jill just yet.

Thanks... - See Msg

[ In Reply To ..]
At this point, the key players know I have a full-time job, as it was included in part of the interview, so your idea of something small like that makes sense. It would show I care about the celebration...I like your idea!

really no reason outside of 'can't just yet' is needed, people - understand. sm

[ In Reply To ..]

I started the choco strawberries for birthdays for friends and now everyone looks forward to them.

Flowers are nice, too, and grocery stores have beautiful ones at a variety of prices. What gal does not like a flower or two to cheer up her desk?

glad I could help.

Thanks again, Love the Idea - Getting out of MT

[ In Reply To ..]
xx

Probably controversial but here's what I did - In that situation

[ In Reply To ..]
I've been in that position where every single dollar of my paycheck was needed. I actually started working for a place and, when I received that dreaded email asking about when my birthday was and how they always had in-office "parties" (potluck and chipping in money towards a cake and gift), I took the coward's way out. Rather than tell the person I was broke, I quickly replied, "I'm a Jehovah's Witness and we don't celebrate holidays."

Yes, I know terrible to lie about a religious belief, but I also don't like parties or celebrations for myself. This way, I didn't have to partake in any of the office gatherings (and they left me off the list due to "respect" for my professed religion), but they also didn't make any attempt to have a birthday party or anything for me, so I was saved the uncomfortable situation of being the center of attention.

I figured if I ever wanted to change my mind and start taking part in the festivities, I could say I had converted to another religion, but fortunately that never came up.

That is very creative... - Getting Out of MT

[ In Reply To ..]
That is interesting and extremely creative. I never would have thought of that1

I don't mind if they want to have a piece of cake for my birthday or the boss acknowledge in mine in some way, or I have some cake for someone else's birthday, I just can't deal with everybody's everything, mostly financially, and definitely I do not want to be seriously involved in company picnics and things of that nature. I love people, love having fun, but with my family and my personal friends, not work obligatory stuff.

I think it has to be all or none, cant pick and choose ppl, cant share - cake, cant expect card if you are not SM

[ In Reply To ..]
going to participate all the way. Jehovah Witness is good.

Yep - Getting Out of MT

[ In Reply To ..]
Yup, I agree. I would not expect them to do something for me, if I don't do it for them. I don't mind having a piece of cake with a co-worker for their birthday, I just don't want this to get to be crazy with everything else. If the worst they do is share cake on someone's birthday, I can deal with that. It's the big lunches, chip-ins for any event imaginable that I don't want.

I do like the Jehovah Witness thing.

LOL, though - See Msg

[ In Reply To ..]
Wouldn't want the Jehovah Witness thing to get into my medical chart over there! No blood products in an emergency.....

what if they are curious about being a JWitness and start - asking questions about it? NM

[ In Reply To ..]
.

She could say she was struggling with her faith right now and - probably wasnt the best person to ask. SM

[ In Reply To ..]
End of story. If some insensitive co-worker continues to press, just say you can't discuss it now.

there ya go. - NM

[ In Reply To ..]
/

I thought about that - Getting out of MT

[ In Reply To ..]
Was wondering what on earth I would say. I probably wouldn't use the religion angle to get out of these things....LOL. Some of these people know my neighborhood very well, and if they zero'd in on my house, they'd know I have parties.....

and more importantly, it's a lie - MT

[ In Reply To ..]
..and a lie about religion. I can't believe more people aren't offended by this.

There are times when little white lie never hurts anyone. - and that is why those are ok NM

[ In Reply To ..]
`

youy lied? Why not just thank you for asking me but I"ll have to pass. - I don't get it.

[ In Reply To ..]
n

This is probably best. And add "and please, no fuss on my - birthday." nm

[ In Reply To ..]
x

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