A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry
Advice, please
Posted: Sep 2, 2016
Asking advice here.
My mom is in a nursing home. They provide great, compassionate care, and there's a waiting list to get in. I'm grateful that she's in a place we can afford, and it's only 3 miles from my home.
When the need arose, I got her a wheelchair, which Medicare is still paying for. It was a brand-new chair that was fitted to her petite frame, and she was able to propel herself with her feet. About 6 weeks ago, I noticed that the chair in her room was not hers -- it was quite old and rickety, and it didn't fit her well. I reported this to the nursing staff, who said they didn't have time to investigate and didn't consider it a high priority. I decided not to pursue the matter. What a wimp :(
About 2 weeks ago, my mom started to complain of muscle/joint pain/strain from sitting in this chair, and the nurse asked me to have it adjusted. I told her that I couldn't have it adjusted because it wasn't even her chair, and that the chair had probably been fitted for its rightful owner anyway. I gave her the S/N of my mom's chair and the manufacturer's name (the logo is large and clear, and only ~10% of the residents have the same brand-- not a large number, BTW). The staff claims to have looked everywhere and can't find my mom's chair; in other words, it has simply disappeared. I suspect that they haven't really looked very hard...how do you lose a wheelchair? I don't actually suspect theft -- my mom can still ambulate somewhat and probably left her chair in someone else's room.
I guess my only choice is to pay cash up front for a replacement, since Medicare only replaces chairs once every 5 years.
Now, before you tell me that I should be aggressive in demanding action, or should involve Medicare or insurance or the highest authority in the land, let me state that residents are asked to leave when their care becomes too intensive or the family causes problems. Obviously I want to maintain a cordial relationship with all the staff. Pushing this matter to a high level may be justified and could give me satisfaction but will alienate everyone and could have disastrous consequences. This is the rural South, where it seems people are easily offended. To gently challenge their claim that every effort has been made to locate the chair would be tantamount to calling them liars. Not a good idea.
My brother advises me to shut up, ignore the problem, buy another chair and label it clearly with her name, and pick my battles carefully. I don't know what to do. It's just not right, and I think they're making a fool of me.
Input?
;
IMHO - anonie
[ In Reply To ..]I would get your state ombudsman in on that. I had to do that with two nursing homes because of the care and it turns out my mother was only the tip of the iceberg as far as care.
I bought my mother's chair and hers was fit to her as you did your mother's chair. My mother had had a stroke. It was made to be used with her good hand, but we could not get her to understand how to propel it with one hand because of her mind.
An ombudsman is a professional who is concerned about your mother and you not the nursing home.
The nursing homes up this way have to be certified with the state to continue caring for people.
I know one nursing home lost her teeth. My judgment is that they put them in someone else's mouth, but they didn't look for them either. She had to have another set and they didn't fit her at all. Other really serious problems including MRSA as well.
Anyway, I would proceed with that. They certainly won't be able to operate if they get a few complaints. Maybe yours would be the first in a string of others who want to complain. The ombudsman will investigate.
They are threatening you and others and this is not right.
My mom - is
[ In Reply To ..]in a nursing home also for memory care. I tend to lean toward not making too many waves. My mom has someone else's clothes in her closet and wears things I never brought for her. I let that go because she's always clean, fed and seems content.
I would probably do as your brother suggests, get another chair and then put her name all over it in huge letters so it can't be missed. Personalize it in some way with stickers or tie a couple of tassels off of it. Make it very identifiable.
All the best to you, it's so difficult to see our mom's needing so much care.
I don't see the harm in wheeling your mom - around the joint
[ In Reply To ..]casually looking at other wheelchairs. If you happen to see one that looks like hers, you could strike up a conversation with the occupant (if it happens to be occupied) or with the person who seems to be the owner. You could ask how they like it, do they know what outlet it came from. As you have the serial number, see if you can take a picture with your cellphone to compare in private. If you are from the south, you know you can say a million words without saying anything.
If you find it and can exchange it for the ill-fitting one your mom is now using unobtrusively, all the better. At this point, you could doll it up with paint, specialty colored duct tape, tassels, tags, etc.
I would not bring to the administration's attention, but you could nicely inventory for the home yourself. You don't have to say anything to anyone during or after the process. My mom was in several homes, the first for dementia patients. The nurses are nice, but they too are limited in the attention they could give to a missing wheelchair.
After some amount of time looking for it, you could drop by the administrator's office and have a conversation about the need to buy a new chair better suited to your mom and ask if they have any ideas how you could tag it to be easily identified. For example, if it is a wheelchair that should not be used in the shower, ask them for advice for labeling it to make that easily known to the healthcare workers in the home.
Passive-aggressive rules this area, so just be nice and see what happens :)
Your mom - dll
[ In Reply To ..]Immediately contact an attorney ...
One time in a different type of setting, an item - of mine went missing. I knew - sm
[ In Reply To ..]in that particular circumstance that if I went to Management, they would simply make a bland public announcement: "Somebody has 'borrowed' this person's item...." and that would be that. Nothing would happen.
Instead, I talked to every person near the "crime scene" as I could, and put out the word that I was offering a cash reward for the return of the item, no questions asked. HOWEVER, if I were to be provided with the name of the person who took it, the cash offer would be substantially higher - with or without the return of the item.
I let it be known that what I wanted most was the identity of the thief, and I think it struck fear in the heart of the thief - a few days later my item was mysteriously put back where it belonged.
Thank you so much - for all your responses
[ In Reply To ..]From the OP...
Especially the post, "I don't see the harm..." The passive-aggressive statement is especially on target. My brother says I'm trying to micro-manage my mother's care, but I don't know how to do otherwise. He, of course, is out of state and out of touch, not contributing anything to my mom's care, so his ignoring this issue is par for the course. He's content as long as nothing is required of him.
Quietly inventorying residents' chairs is something I can do while people are in the cafeteria eating lunch.
I also find my mom's closet to be filled with unfamiliar clothing, and the beautiful bedspread I bought for her is missing. She'll never notice these things, though.
Thank you so much - noname
[ In Reply To ..]I understand the need to not make waves so your mom doesn't get kicked out, but wheelchairs are not cheap and hers was customized to fit her, so you shouldn't have to buy another one. I understand that residents take others' things, usually innocently, but that is not right either, and now her bedspread is missing.
When I had to put my mother in a nursing home, she had 2 shift gowns that were the same pattern, different colors. One disappeared and we never got it back before she passed away. When I took her to the nursing home, I took her medicines with her, including her pain medicine, which was locked up by a nurse. Guess what was no longer there after she passed away and I went to collect her stuff?!
It seems to me something needs to be done to better track/monitor resident's belongings. It also seems to me that if your mother were to be kicked out of where she is, you could sue them for that. I know that would in the end make them even madder and then you wouldn't feel comfortable having her there, but those things are just not right and somebody should be held accountable.
Hopefully you can find her chair, bedspread and some of her clothes by doing the casual stroll through the facility. Best of luck to you whatever you decide to do!
Similar Messages:
Advice Please!!!!!!!!!!!Mar 28, 2011
Ever since I moved, I get terrible seasonal allergies. I have a runny nose and am sneezy for weeks and weeks. My face itches, my ears itch, even my forehead itches!!! Anyone have any advice on how to help allergies???? ...
Advice PleaseMar 22, 2011
I was bored and decided to tamper with my hair (my favorite fashion accessory). I spent the weekend bringing it from a deep mahogany to platinum. Damage was minimal considering it was an at-home job with my husband I the "colorists," lol! I know with this new hair color change I need to amp up the makeup so as not to look faded out. I've dug out a few of my "bolder" colored lipsticks instead of the nude lip I usually used as a brunette, but was wondering if any other blon ...
AdviceMar 22, 2011
Hi all, I just needed a little advice. My sister called me last night and asked me to watch my 2yo niece while she and her husband and her 13yo daughter went on a cruise in June. I told her that I couldnt because the 3 days that she wants me to watch her are days that I work. Keep in mind, I have a 13yo, a 4yo, and a 16mo myself which I work at home with and it is difficult. I just dont think that people get how hard it is even though Im at home. Anyway, so I told ...
Need Some AdviceDec 11, 2009
Good morning...I need some advice and at this point any advice is welcome :-) I have a 5 year old energetic, funny, sweet little boy who is in kindergarten. I just had a short meeting with his teacher yesterday who said that she is having some real issues with my son in class. She says that he is very disruptive and acts silly all day. She says that he is not mean by any means and is very sweet, but he just simply will not concentrate on the task at hand but would rather ...
Need AdviceJan 15, 2010
I've been living with a guy for 12 years. There are some aspects of his personality/behavior that are positive. However, he has a habit of mocking me at just about every opportunity, belittling, that kind of stuff. When I get upset he says he "was being funny." He likes to contradict me in public when possible and point out negatives - not so much about me specifically but demeaning comments about things like my dog or my hobbies, etc. I ask him to please not do these things in public but i ...
Need Advice - What Would You Do?Jan 19, 2010
I need advice on what you would do in my situation. I'm so upset about it and my husband says not to do anything and basically dismissing it. I'll try to make this as short as possible. My family has been best friends with another family for about ten years. They're just like family. We do everything together. This past weekend their 16 year old daughter stayed over because she had a track meet and the rest of the family was going away for the lo ...
Need Some Advice On What To DoAug 27, 2011
I wanted to see if anyone has some advice on what to do on a situation I am having with my ex-husband's girlfriend. This past Monday morning my apartment complex called me and told me that they received a fax the evening before that I wanted to be treated for bedbugs! I told them that I didn't send a fax and didn't have bedbugs, and asked her what number the fax came from. She wouldn't tell me. She then asked me why I didn't leave my phone number on the fax only my addre ...
Need Advice Please....Feb 10, 2010
Ok, here goes.... My husband drives a truck. When he comes in his dad (who is divorced and lives with his mother who is in her 80s and I guess you would say has no life) comes over. Well, no problem there except he don't know when to leave. LOL He comes around 10 or 11 am and stays until 10 or 11 pm. Then the next day he is back again unless he is working and then he comes after work. I don't mind him coming to visit every day when my husband is in ...
MIL AdviceOct 25, 2010
Our family was planning a trip to Disney World this summer and then I decided that maybe we should go to California (where we are from) and go to Disneyland, that way grandparents can come. Since then, my MIL has taken it upon herself to plan out ourentire vacation, starting with trying to make our motel reservations on the drive there and ending with making them on the way back. If she were just being nice, it would be completely different, but really, she is just being controlling. ...
Need AdviceJul 22, 2011
I'll try not to make this too long, but I have an 18-year-old, soon to be 19-year-old son who just told me a couple months ago that he is gay. I was shocked, but not totally, as I had suspicions before because he never really showed much interest in girls. Anyway, I told him I love him no matter what and that did not matter to me. it took me a couple months to get over the heartache of it, though. His dad doesn't know yet, nor his younger brother, as I told him ...
Need Some AdviceJul 18, 2011
I am having some issues with my boyfriend. He has not been working for a while now and I have been paying rent/bills/groceries all on my own. No big deal, it has to be done, but what I am having a problem with is his bi-weekly "allowance". He needs his own money to spend, and I understand that, but no matter how much money I tell him I am going to give him, it is never enough. He is never happy with what I give him (usually a couple hundred dollars). I never sp ...
Need AdviceApr 05, 2011
I need some advice about my sister-in-law. We are going to her house next week for three days. Well, she wanted my husband to help her buy some power tools and teach her how to use them and put up a trellis. So that was the plan for Friday. I was okay with that – didn’t feel too left out. Now she has made other plans for Saturday that I don't want to do. How do I politely tell her I’m not into spend ...
A Little Advice Here PleaseAug 18, 2016
Just got on line to check bank account held jointly with fiance. I see a charge on a credit card that I don't recognize (plus a service fee charge). Questioned him about it a couple of days ago and got vague answer (s). Today, I called the 1-800 number and asked what kind of businesses they billed for. I was told a wide array of different things. One of which could be porn videos. Not happy at all as I do NOT want this in my house. Why can ...
How Do You: Advice PleaseJun 13, 2010
I am separated from my husband and soon divorcing which is actually a very good thing for my son and me. We were under a lot of stress, pressure and difficulties with living in his house. But my son grew up with his kids and he has not told them anything about us never coming back. I tried to get him to go to counseling, and despite many of my friends warnings even went to our pastor which just made things worse, b/c my husband works under this guy as a pastor too. ...
Cat Advice?Jul 25, 2012
Cat people, should I take in a neighbor's cat? In a nutshell: We thought this "stray" was hanging around our yard last year. I talked to her and she let me pet her. Nasty winter weather came. We couldn't take her in because we have an old blind cat who tries to fight her off sometimes. So I went door to door with her picture, looking for her home so we wouldn't have to take her to a shelter. Bingo. She "lives" a couple houses away. The woman there was very nice, has a sec ...
Advice PleaseNov 17, 2012
Hi all, I have been offered a position in the front office of a medical facility. I am probably going to take it. While my problem will not weigh into my not taking it, I need some advice on how to handle something. Way back when I worked in a large office, there was ALWAYS something going on where they wanted everyone to chip in financially for something. Somebody is having a baby, somebody's somebody is having a baby, somebody is having a birthday, somebody is retiring ...
Advice On New JobAug 11, 2016
Well, I went to a job fair yesterday, had to go back and my daughter went with me and we both got jobs! Problem with mine is it's only seasonal till Feb. Of course, if the job continues and I've done well through the training and the actual job till Feb., I could possibly still have a job. Better pay right off the bat and $1.00 for EVERY HOUR worked till Feb. bonus in Feb.!!! I need my high school diploma or transcripts and can't find them anywhere! My transcripts are with m ...
Advice About DadNov 01, 2013
I need some opinions about whether or not to try to contact my father who I have not seen in about 30 years. My dad left when I was nine and moved out of state. I think I saw him one time not long after that. The last time I even spoke to him on the phone was right before I graduated high school. He had wrote me letters and sent cards for a few years after he left asking me to come visit, which I never agreed to do. We didn't have a very close relationship even when we lived in the ...
Need Some Advice Jan 13, 2014
I would appreciate any advice on how to sell Hummel figurines, etc. My stepfather wants to start clearing out a lot of things in preparation for the future, and in the event I would move in with him at some point. My mother died four years ago, and during her lifetime she bought a lot of this sort of thing, along with the colored glass in yellow, green and blue. I have never sold anything on eBay, and don't know how to go about getting a decent price for these items. ...
Advice PleaseJun 21, 2014
I don't know if I need advice or just want to vent. My husband and I enjoy having close friends over, going out to dinner with them, doing get togethers and other such things. Out of 4 couples, 2 of the couples are so dysfunctional that it makes me crazy. No alcohol is involved here, so we can't even blame that. I don't claim to know what goes on behind closed doors, but when we're all together, it's the women who fly off the handle at their husbands for the stupi ...
Need Cat AdviceJan 27, 2015
My cat is hiding underneath my neighbor's shrubs and will not come home. He is afraid I will keep him inside so he doesn't trust me anymore. He stayed out all night last night and I finally saw him this morning. I tried coaxing him, bribing him with food, and he just ran away to find a safer hiding spot. He got into a cat fight on Friday and got a small puncture wound. I kept him in on Sunday to keep an eye on the wound and he was not happy about it. That's why he doesn' ...
Need Some Advice PleaseJan 30, 2015
I have a problem with my ear. When my pneumonia started, one day I had what I thought was the starting of an earache. Then that went away and I ended up sick just with the pneumonia. Okay it has been 28 days since my first day in the hospital. My ear has been stopped up since then and I have tried Claritin, Auralgan and Cortisporin Otic drops. Nothing is working. What could be wrong with it? I never have problems popping my ears after a cold or getting water in them. I didn't g ...
Need AdviceMar 17, 2017
Need some advice. Here's what happened (by the way, I'm a 25-year MT veteran, which is why I'm posting here). I was unwell at work about 3 weeks ago, and it was determined that I should be admitted. Treatment lasted 8 days, and I feel great now! My doctor said I should apply for FMLA (famliy medical leave) since I took off more time than my employer's policy allows and may have further absences in the future. My doctor completed the form and signed ...
Hi, Need Some AdviceMar 30, 2017
I had a severe dental infection and was given clindamycin. I was hesitant to take it, but did so with a probiotic. Now I am starting to have diarrhea. Does anyone have any advice on treating this OTC? I'm recently retired and have no insurance at present. Thanks in advance. ...
Advice For A New E-Bay Seller?Feb 28, 2012
I have created an exceptional product that I want to list on e-Bay to make some extra money. Are there any experienced e-Bay sellers here who can give me some advice/tips/suggestions? Thanks! ...
Any Advice For Sleeping Better?Mar 28, 2011
Never been a great sleeper, but now I sleep about 1 hour at a time. I try to sleep about 6-1/2 to 7 hours, but am exhausted. Fall asleep fairly quickly, but can't stay asleep. Don't think am apneic. Tried Lunesta without much help. Tried Benadryl, again not much help. So tired. Makes typing misery to be so sleepy. ...
Help - Need Advice. Kittens To Come Mar 25, 2011
From my message below you know we have a stray cat. Today for the first day I held my hand out and she sniffed at the tip of my outstretched fingers. Think she is finally starting to warm up. Doesn't run away when we walk out. Well guess what....she's going to have kittens. At least we are 99.8% she is. She was thin when we started to feed a few weeks ago and now she's got a pouch when walking towards us you can see the sides bulging. Ever ...
Advice To The GirlsNov 03, 2009
Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. What do you do if you boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there. Go for the younger man - you might as well, they never mature anyway. Men are all the same - they just have different faces so we can tell them apart. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. T ...
Need Personal AdviceMar 11, 2011
Need advice. My son is 40 and has 2 children ages 12 and 14. He is getting divorced but that's not the main issue. For the past 20 years he has been sporadic in sending christmas cards/gifts, birthday and mother's day cards/gifts. His wife would often cover for him but only some of the time. I don't believe I have ever had a card, phone call or gift for mother's day. The last few years I have gotten nothing on any of the aforementioned "sp ...
Need Hubby AdviceNov 30, 2009
I really need some help here and this is the only place to get it fast. My husband and I are separated. I caught him having "affair" at work, he was paying for some lady at work's car repairs, and sabotaged my daughter's attempt to work in this lady's department, along with lots and lots of lies and secrets and covering up. Short story, when confronted, he moved out and filed for divorce (and, of course is blaming me for the whole thing, saying I kicked him out - ...