A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry
Advice about dad
Posted: Nov 1, 2013
I need some opinions about whether or not to try to contact my father who I have not seen in about 30 years. My dad left when I was nine and moved out of state. I think I saw him one time not long after that. The last time I even spoke to him on the phone was right before I graduated high school. He had wrote me letters and sent cards for a few years after he left asking me to come visit, which I never agreed to do. We didn't have a very close relationship even when we lived in the same house, and I never wanted to leave my mom and get on a plane by myself as a kid and go see him. No one else from his side of the family kept in touch either. He subsequently remarried a woman with two kids, one a couple years older than me and one a couple years younger. He adopted the younger one. At some point, I got a letter from his wife stating that my dad has tried to see me and I always refuse, so he wasn't going to try anymore and how much I have hurt him and what a great person he is. I was probably in my early teens when this letter came. I have always gotten statements about some kind of account he has set up for me apparently. When I was in my early 20s, I called the place where the account is to ask about it. After this, I got a nasty letter from my dad's wife telling me that I'm my mother's daughter and my dad has a new daughter now and not to try to take any money out of the account because it pays for life insurance premiums for policies other people are beneficiaries on as well as me. That was the last contact I had. My mom has since passed away, and when I sold the old house, I found all the old letters from my dad, and I've been thinking about writing him a letter. The only address I have is an address I got off the internet. I'm not sure if it is his business or his house. I don't know whether I should bother. He might never even get it or he might not want to hear from me. I am his only biological child, but obviously he replaced me with his adopted daughter. Sometimes, I feel like it is my fault we never had a relationship, and other times, I think he should have tried harder since I was the one who was just a kid. So, I'm looking for some opinions. Should I make an attempt to contact him or just leave it alone? Thanks for reading!;
My advice? - Try to contact him
[ In Reply To ..]The evil stepmother may have been feeding you a bunch of bull...He may not even know she wrote nasty letters to you. Worth a try!
I agree - but - shipwrecked
[ In Reply To ..]Maybe a phone call would be better. A letter is too easy for the stepmother to intercept.
That is one of my fears. - Me
[ In Reply To ..]Problem is I don't have a phone number. I'm not even sure the address I found is any good. The post office has a restricted delivery service where they are only supposed to give it to the addressee, which I thought about using. Of course, that might make her (or him for that matter) upset, so I have doubts about that as well.
I'd show up on his doorstep. sm - just me
[ In Reply To ..]Believe me, unless he has alzheimer's or had a stroke he hasn't forgotten you or replaced you with somebody else's daughter. And you are the one who will regret it if you don't reach out, because you are going to spend the rest of your life thinking "what if I had" or "I wish I had." That's personal experience speaking.
Follow your heart - RubySoho
[ In Reply To ..]Follow your heart. Only you know what you need to do to bring full closure to the situation or open up a new relationship with your father.
It's obvious you're thinking about your dad and I've no doubt from what you've posted that he's been thinking about you, too.
You don't need to ask us for opinions. I think in your heart, you already know what you want (and need) to do.
Please keep us posted on how it goes, poster. :)
Hard to know - But...
[ In Reply To ..]I don't understand why bio parents move so far away from their bio kids. I do blame the bio parents for that, BUT as far as no contact, I am wondering if your bio mother kept you from knowing all the details. Maybe in a way, she wanted to keep you from him.
I feel that since all the kids are older now (I'm assuming no minors), you have every right to try to contact him. If they were very young, I would say "no, do not disrupt the other kids' lives."
I do not, however, recommend showing up on a doorstep.
I would try contact via phone somehow. Any postal letters could easily be intercepted by his now wife. He may very well want a relationship with you, but perhaps is weak with his new wife and bows down to her (sad, but it happens).
Good luck to you. One thing, sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality, so keep your head straight. From what it sounds, it really doesn't seem as if your father was an evil man or anything, but keep in mind that kids that lose a parent the way you did often have a blissful fantasy and can easily be let down.
If you choose to contact him, please, please keep your head straight so you can remain objective, but DO have an open heart.
No contact but perhaps an account set up? - They say money talks
[ In Reply To ..]Reading your post to me it sounds more like you are interested in the account rather than him. You never wanted to go and see him but yet an account now, maybe I should go after all these years. Sounds like only the money talking. You don't sound interested in him as a person because if that were the case I don't think you would have mentioned about the account.
OMG - really? - KC
[ In Reply To ..]She mentioned the account because it was the last contact that she had when she was in her 20s. That's all you got out of her post?
OP - Please don't take that post to heart. You need to do what your heart tells you to do. I wish you the best.
Her statement, I have always gotten notices - about account
[ In Reply To ..]Yes that is exactly what I got from this. If your family really important don't you try to connect in some kind of way, why wait years and years? He had asked her to visit, which she never agreed to do. Her statement. My father and mother divorced when I was around 5. I always visited with my father even though he was not what I considered a really good father to be, distant, not a loving type person, opinionated but he was my father. Her posting was short but noticed she put in about the account. I think the account is probably more on her mind than actually making amends with her father. My thoughts exactly, yep!
Well, nobody but the OP knows...SM - KC
[ In Reply To ..]exactly what she meant by the statement or how she feels. I just don't think it's fair to "call out" or assume her intentions are less than upstanding. If she's truly struggling with wanting a relationship with her father and is torn up about it, then she's in a very fragile, vulnerable position. I just happen to believe in giving the benefit of the doubt in situations such as this, as statements such as yours could be hurtful. She was very young when this all happened, so likely doesn't have a clear, honest picture of what actually went down, and never really got the other side of the story.
Why jump to the negative?? That's all I'm saying.
Did not jump, the statement stood out like - a sore thumb, easy to see
[ In Reply To ..]Why even make notice of an account waiting on you? Her post was very short and yet she got that in. I never in a million years expected anything from my father. He probably had the first dollar he ever made, very frugal did without most things he could have had, no vacations, no new cars like he could afford and yet in his last years he started giving away a lot of money and I was shocked when I was on the receiving end. This came from a man who balked about buying me some skates for Christmas one year that cost about $30.00. I was always there because he was my father, not because he had opened any account for me.
I could care less about that account - Me
[ In Reply To ..]don't expect any money from my father. KC is correct in that I only mentioned it because it was the last contact I had. I have been getting those statements for 20 years. If I was that interested in it, I would have tried to contact him long ago. As I said, I never visited my father when he asked because he wanted me to get on an airplane by myself as a child without my mother who I had never been away from and fly across the country to see a man who never even paid attention to me when he lived in the same house. I was an incredibly shy child, and my father was pretty much a stranger. If he had come to me, I would have seen him, like when he was supposed to come to my high school graduation since he was going to be on the East Coast for business. The last time I spoke to him was when he called the night before graduation and said he wasn't going to come. As I stated in my original post, the reason it has been on my mind lately is because I just recently cleared out my mother's house before selling it and found old letters and birthday cards from him and regretted not making more of an effort to maintain a relationship with him. However, while I do regret it, considering he was the adult in the situation, I still believe if he really wanted to see me so badly, he would have come to me rather than trying to force a child to fly across the country alone. I had actually almost convinced myself that I should try to contact him, but he will probably just think the same thing as you, that I'm trying to get money from him when all I really wanted was to try to reconnect with the only parent I have left now that my mom is gone.
Now that your mother is gone, so if she were still - around, no connection, huh?
[ In Reply To ..]Just read your last sentence, says so much. I still have no sympathy because my parents divorced, father remarried years ago, loved my stepmom, kept in touch always with my father and mother. Father distant, standoffish, not loving but still my father. My mother and her mother, my maternal grandmother, had a falling out once. Do you think I said, oh will only talk with my mother? I stayed in touch with them both. I never said, well only 1 parent left, guess I should try and see them now.
Not looking for sympathy from you or anyone else - Me
[ In Reply To ..]Your choice to remain in contact with an unloving father was exactly that, your choice. I chose not to, and that was my choice. In my opinion, there is more to being a father than just creating a baby.
You seem to pick and choose things out of my posts to center in on and interpret in your own sick, twisted manner. Yes, my mother being gone and having to clear out her house and reading my father's old letters prompted me thinking about contacting him. So yes, you're right, if my mother were here, I wouldn't have been going through those old things, so I wouldn't have thought about the fact that my father could be gone soon as well and maybe I would regret never speaking to him if that were to happen.
I posted here because I was unsure about what to do. I didn't expect to be called a gold digger and whatever you're trying to imply by saying I only want to contact him because my mother is gone. I don't know what your issue is, but you have a real attitude problem. Oh wait, perhaps it is the result of years of having an unloving distant father and trying to maintain a relationship with him. Best of luck with that.
I never TRIED to maintain a relationship, I always - did unlike you
[ In Reply To ..]You are the one making the statements, contact him because now my mother is gone and only parent I have. I have no regrets at all in staying in close contact with my entire family, not just the mother I lived with and you?
Good for you. - Me
[ In Reply To ..]I'm so happy you have no regrets. I had thought I had some regrets about my father, but on second thought, I really don't. You have helped me to see that being around someone unloving and distant is not healthy and leaves you bitter and suspicious of everyone, and I am so glad I made the decisions I did to keep that drama and heartbreak out of my life. I have been just fine without my father in my life for the past 30 years, and I am sure he has been just fine without me. Thanks for helping me realize this so I could make the right decision.
You shut part of your family out, never wanted - to be around, mine there
[ In Reply To ..]all my life. I have never had one regret about being there always for my mother, father, grandmother, aunts, uncles and the like - but you have, otherwise why the posting. I can read through your lines and you are trying to play it down but years you put your father to the side, now mother gone and now reaching out to have a parent who is like a leftover. If mother still around you would have not gave this man 1 other thought. You have not seen nor talked to a man in 30 years? No wonder his wife is suspicious of your getting in touch with him. Seems like her children have been more of his children than his own blood. I cannot determine other people's being the loving type people as my mother was and my father not, but one thing I do know, I did my part as a daughter, always and never had 1 regret about second thoughts about letting others down. My slate is clean, my conscious as well. Yours? Don't try to make your shortcomings on me, suspicious and bitter because I am not the one sitting here writing posts about my lack of being a daughter all these years and should I now, especiallly since that account is around there somewhere. You wrote it, not me.
no but you are keeping it going arent you - give it a rest already
[ In Reply To ..]We now know TMI about your decision to maintain contact. You are being disrespectful of the OP by trying to make her feel you are the only person making the right decision here. Your decision was right for you. Her circumstances were different and it is what it is now. You cannot undo her past and you should not try to force your opinion down her (or our) throat.
Give it a rest already.
Correct me if i'm wrong but... - sm
[ In Reply To ..]Have you been ignored or left to the side by people, especially family members? You seem to be making this personal.
OP, I understand what you're going through. I also lost my mother, got in touch with my father after 36 years. We just spoke on the phone, but he is not the type of person I can have a relationship with (mental issues, homeless, too many health problems) so I cut it off immediately. I'm glad I found out the mystery of who my father was though.
If I were you, I would do it without any expectations. His wife doesn't need to be involved, it doesn't sound like she has your best interests at heart anyways.
Hmm - From "hard to know" poster
[ In Reply To ..]My first impression was not that you were looking for money. I don't know why they all jumped on that. I took it as you were simply using that as a frame of reference in terms of time. I think to jump to that was cynical of others.
If some feel you shut your father out, he shut you out first--a small child is NOT responsible for maintaining a relationship. Why should a child have to strive to maintain contact? That's the parent's job.
An absent parent (either emotionally or distance-wise or both) is at fault. No child should have to keep trying to reach out---that just sets them up for disappointment.
If a parent has any feelings for any of their children, they need to stay or move where the child is when the child is very young. It is NOT the child's job to be hopping on a plane to visit, travel by car for a gazillion hours, or anything else.
I don't think you are sympathy-seeking at all---pay no attention to those posts.
I think, actually, you have your head screwed on tighter than many grown children of absent parents, who actually think that jumping through hoops is going to change things. At least you are grounded to the reality that he was not, and is never going to be, the father you wanted. Some adult children people spend 15 years in psychological therapy trying to "get that."
best.post.here. - period - NM
[ In Reply To ..]
Thank you - OP
[ In Reply To ..]Thank you and thank you to all the other supportive posters.
I know I played a part in shutting my dad out, but I have always thought as you said that he was the adult and could have tried harder.
Anyway, thanks again. I may still write the letter with no expectations. I know that I will be just fine with or without a relationship with my dad, and I know what my intentions are regardless of what he or anyone else might want to believe of me.
Thanks - Me
[ In Reply To ..]Thank you. At least someone understood what I meant. I think I know what my heart is telling me to do now though because I'm pretty sure my dad and definitely his wife would think the same way as the other poster.
Don't listen to that poster...SM - KC
[ In Reply To ..]I'm not sure what his/her problem is, but it doesn't relate to you. Nothing you've said is in any way coming off in the way they've chosen to take it. There are some people in this world who aren't happy unless they're p*ssed off, for lack of a better explanation, and this is an example of that.
Follow your heart, not someone else's bitter words. And on the bright side, if your dad does take it like angry poster did, you'll know you're better off without him, right? Closure.
He replaced you??? - Really?
[ In Reply To ..]In your post, you describe how he wrote you letters, asked you to come visit, etc., but you refused. He asked, you refused. For whatever reason, you refused. You are also getting statements from an account he set up for you.
Yet, you feel that he "obviously replaced you with his adopted daughter." Really? That's what you get from his repeated attempts to contact you and to provide for you?
And what did you expect after he and your mother split? That he would do penance in solitude and misery for the rest of his life while waiting for you to decide you needed him?
Perhaps the truth of the matter s that he just had to get on with his life, with or without you, and YOU chose for him to do it without.
You found an address, but don't know if is home or business. Try Google Map and Streetview. If it looks like a house, maybe it is his home.
If you really want to find him, you have enough information to do so.
I can understand why he replaced, she wanted - no part of him as long as mother
[ In Reply To ..]was around. Now that her mother died and remember about that account, she has decided maybe she wants a parent (or maybe she wants to see what that account is all about), either way if a child decided years ago they did not care for me, I probably would have replaced them also, maybe with a nice doggie that at least would be glad to see me when I came home of a day.
Just my two cents - old and tired MT
[ In Reply To ..]I have a similar situation going on with my significant other and his daughter. (Her mother ended up having an affair with another man during their marriage and getting pregnant by another man. My significant other, upon finding this out, left and they have never gotten divorced). My significant other always paid child support, but during that period of separation, only saw his daughter one time and this was coming from Florida up to Pennsylvania to see his daughter. When he got there, the "wife" had planned other activities for his daughter, so he really never got to see or spend time with her and finally gave up on trying to see her, although he faithfully paid child support until she reached the age of 18. About two years ago, my significant other was diagnosed with COPD and congestive heart failure, so at age 64, he is not in the best of health and took early retirement at age 62 because of his health issues.
About a yera or so ago, (through another mutual friend of my signifcant other), I was able to "friend" the daughter on Facebook. She and I will talk to each other occasionally and I told her of her father's health condition and gave her his contact information. He is also on FB, but is not a "big fanatic," and very seldom uses it.
On my birthday the middle of October, I had posted that I was missing my significant other very much and the daughter made a post and asked why we weren't together right now. (The biggest reason being finances and my own health issues, which are being resolved easier in the area where I am now. As soon as I find out whether I am eligible for SSDI, I will be returning to FL, which I informed his daughter of in a private message).
About that time, his daughter, who is only 23, was diagnosed with malignant breast cancer and underwent a lumpectomy and is now undergoing chemotherapy treatments. In fact, she shaved her head on Halloween because of the hair loss she was having. When I sent her the private message, I explained that I had lost both my mother and my husband to cancer and again gave her the information to get in touch with her dad -- phone number, email etc. In fact, I had sent the pictures that she had posted on FB with her "bald look" and sent them to my significant other yesterday and he responded back and I posted his responses on her FB page, which she "liked." I really think deep down that things may have been said by her mother against my significant other. It blows my mind that NEITHER one of them has filed for a divorce because there is no property or money involved. I am really hoping that at some point the daughter will contact my significant other because he also has a now 5-year-old grandson he has never seen.
I have done all that I can and all that I am doing now is praying that they can see one another before it is too late for either one of them. Life is WAY too short to hold grudges of any kind in my opinion.
Thanks for sharing - Me
[ In Reply To ..]Thanks for sharing your story. I hope everything works out for everyone involved. So sorry to hear about his daughter. I lost my mom to cancer as well.
Internet search for Dad. sm - El Kid
[ In Reply To ..]If you are trying to get an up-to-date location and telephone number for your Dad, try Zaba search and Pipl search if you have not already. They are pretty up-to-date and accurate. If by chance that information is not located on their sites you can pay a nominal fee for an accurate search from sites such as Intellius, etc. It may cost you 10 to 20 dollars for a paid search, but you will get an up-to-date telephone number and address, etc., and if you have not done so already try Zaba and Popl search engines first and you likely will get that information for free. Good luck to you.
I would make it my mission in life - hire a detective if you have to
[ In Reply To ..]You will never know what was/is in his heart until you meet with him face to face. Imagine how *he* might have felt to have lost touch with a daughter he loved deeply? I am no trying to make you feel badly, or give false hope, merely to point out that if you feel you can handle the truth - and even some hurt on his part or problems with the new wife - you owe it to him and to yourself to reconnect with your parent.
I would rather try and be disappointed with result, than to never know.
Wow - see msg
[ In Reply To ..]Who says the father "loved her deeply?" Fathers who truly love their children deeply do not move far away and expect the child to come visit. She already said even when he was in the home, he was distant. This "love deeply" stuff is a la-la land conclusion here. He should never, ever have moved far away, and if he "loved deeply," he would have been an emotionally available parent when he was in the home. Two pretty serious strikes against him if you ask me.
I'm not saying he's evil, abusive, or anything else. But to put the OP as the "big bad monster" here is unfair, totally.
As to if she may be looking for a parent figure now that her mom is gone, so what? If any of us lost our family, we'd be searching for someone, something as well.
Judgmental much? - What a sad position to take
[ In Reply To ..]would YOU want to be 'judged for life' based on past behavior? I doubt it.
Just Stating Facts - see msg
[ In Reply To ..]The point I'm trying to make is that a parent can't be absent, then all of a sudden expect the warm fuzzies from the child or the adult child. It's unrealistic.
You're assuming that this man has become a different human being. Perhaps that's true to a point, but the "love deeply" stuff doesn't fly here and I don't think the poster owes him diddly squat.
please don't feel replaced - sm
[ In Reply To ..]Life is complicated. Being able to love another child doesn't mean your father loves you less.
Similar Messages:
Advice Please!!!!!!!!!!!Mar 28, 2011
Ever since I moved, I get terrible seasonal allergies. I have a runny nose and am sneezy for weeks and weeks. My face itches, my ears itch, even my forehead itches!!! Anyone have any advice on how to help allergies???? ...
Advice PleaseMar 22, 2011
I was bored and decided to tamper with my hair (my favorite fashion accessory). I spent the weekend bringing it from a deep mahogany to platinum. Damage was minimal considering it was an at-home job with my husband I the "colorists," lol! I know with this new hair color change I need to amp up the makeup so as not to look faded out. I've dug out a few of my "bolder" colored lipsticks instead of the nude lip I usually used as a brunette, but was wondering if any other blon ...
AdviceMar 22, 2011
Hi all, I just needed a little advice. My sister called me last night and asked me to watch my 2yo niece while she and her husband and her 13yo daughter went on a cruise in June. I told her that I couldnt because the 3 days that she wants me to watch her are days that I work. Keep in mind, I have a 13yo, a 4yo, and a 16mo myself which I work at home with and it is difficult. I just dont think that people get how hard it is even though Im at home. Anyway, so I told ...
Need Some AdviceDec 11, 2009
Good morning...I need some advice and at this point any advice is welcome :-) I have a 5 year old energetic, funny, sweet little boy who is in kindergarten. I just had a short meeting with his teacher yesterday who said that she is having some real issues with my son in class. She says that he is very disruptive and acts silly all day. She says that he is not mean by any means and is very sweet, but he just simply will not concentrate on the task at hand but would rather ...
Need AdviceJan 15, 2010
I've been living with a guy for 12 years. There are some aspects of his personality/behavior that are positive. However, he has a habit of mocking me at just about every opportunity, belittling, that kind of stuff. When I get upset he says he "was being funny." He likes to contradict me in public when possible and point out negatives - not so much about me specifically but demeaning comments about things like my dog or my hobbies, etc. I ask him to please not do these things in public but i ...
Need Advice - What Would You Do?Jan 19, 2010
I need advice on what you would do in my situation. I'm so upset about it and my husband says not to do anything and basically dismissing it. I'll try to make this as short as possible. My family has been best friends with another family for about ten years. They're just like family. We do everything together. This past weekend their 16 year old daughter stayed over because she had a track meet and the rest of the family was going away for the lo ...
Need Some Advice On What To DoAug 27, 2011
I wanted to see if anyone has some advice on what to do on a situation I am having with my ex-husband's girlfriend. This past Monday morning my apartment complex called me and told me that they received a fax the evening before that I wanted to be treated for bedbugs! I told them that I didn't send a fax and didn't have bedbugs, and asked her what number the fax came from. She wouldn't tell me. She then asked me why I didn't leave my phone number on the fax only my addre ...
Need Advice Please....Feb 10, 2010
Ok, here goes.... My husband drives a truck. When he comes in his dad (who is divorced and lives with his mother who is in her 80s and I guess you would say has no life) comes over. Well, no problem there except he don't know when to leave. LOL He comes around 10 or 11 am and stays until 10 or 11 pm. Then the next day he is back again unless he is working and then he comes after work. I don't mind him coming to visit every day when my husband is in ...
MIL AdviceOct 25, 2010
Our family was planning a trip to Disney World this summer and then I decided that maybe we should go to California (where we are from) and go to Disneyland, that way grandparents can come. Since then, my MIL has taken it upon herself to plan out ourentire vacation, starting with trying to make our motel reservations on the drive there and ending with making them on the way back. If she were just being nice, it would be completely different, but really, she is just being controlling. ...
Need AdviceJul 22, 2011
I'll try not to make this too long, but I have an 18-year-old, soon to be 19-year-old son who just told me a couple months ago that he is gay. I was shocked, but not totally, as I had suspicions before because he never really showed much interest in girls. Anyway, I told him I love him no matter what and that did not matter to me. it took me a couple months to get over the heartache of it, though. His dad doesn't know yet, nor his younger brother, as I told him ...
Need Some AdviceJul 18, 2011
I am having some issues with my boyfriend. He has not been working for a while now and I have been paying rent/bills/groceries all on my own. No big deal, it has to be done, but what I am having a problem with is his bi-weekly "allowance". He needs his own money to spend, and I understand that, but no matter how much money I tell him I am going to give him, it is never enough. He is never happy with what I give him (usually a couple hundred dollars). I never sp ...
Need AdviceApr 05, 2011
I need some advice about my sister-in-law. We are going to her house next week for three days. Well, she wanted my husband to help her buy some power tools and teach her how to use them and put up a trellis. So that was the plan for Friday. I was okay with that – didn’t feel too left out. Now she has made other plans for Saturday that I don't want to do. How do I politely tell her I’m not into spend ...
A Little Advice Here PleaseAug 18, 2016
Just got on line to check bank account held jointly with fiance. I see a charge on a credit card that I don't recognize (plus a service fee charge). Questioned him about it a couple of days ago and got vague answer (s). Today, I called the 1-800 number and asked what kind of businesses they billed for. I was told a wide array of different things. One of which could be porn videos. Not happy at all as I do NOT want this in my house. Why can ...
Advice, PleaseSep 02, 2016
Asking advice here. My mom is in a nursing home. They provide great, compassionate care, and there's a waiting list to get in. I'm grateful that she's in a place we can afford, and it's only 3 miles from my home. When the need arose, I got her a wheelchair, which Medicare is still paying for. It was a brand-new chair that was fitted to her petite frame, and she was able to propel herself with her feet. About 6 weeks ago, I noticed that the chair in h ...
How Do You: Advice PleaseJun 13, 2010
I am separated from my husband and soon divorcing which is actually a very good thing for my son and me. We were under a lot of stress, pressure and difficulties with living in his house. But my son grew up with his kids and he has not told them anything about us never coming back. I tried to get him to go to counseling, and despite many of my friends warnings even went to our pastor which just made things worse, b/c my husband works under this guy as a pastor too. ...
Cat Advice?Jul 25, 2012
Cat people, should I take in a neighbor's cat? In a nutshell: We thought this "stray" was hanging around our yard last year. I talked to her and she let me pet her. Nasty winter weather came. We couldn't take her in because we have an old blind cat who tries to fight her off sometimes. So I went door to door with her picture, looking for her home so we wouldn't have to take her to a shelter. Bingo. She "lives" a couple houses away. The woman there was very nice, has a sec ...
Advice PleaseNov 17, 2012
Hi all, I have been offered a position in the front office of a medical facility. I am probably going to take it. While my problem will not weigh into my not taking it, I need some advice on how to handle something. Way back when I worked in a large office, there was ALWAYS something going on where they wanted everyone to chip in financially for something. Somebody is having a baby, somebody's somebody is having a baby, somebody is having a birthday, somebody is retiring ...
Advice On New JobAug 11, 2016
Well, I went to a job fair yesterday, had to go back and my daughter went with me and we both got jobs! Problem with mine is it's only seasonal till Feb. Of course, if the job continues and I've done well through the training and the actual job till Feb., I could possibly still have a job. Better pay right off the bat and $1.00 for EVERY HOUR worked till Feb. bonus in Feb.!!! I need my high school diploma or transcripts and can't find them anywhere! My transcripts are with m ...
Need Some Advice Jan 13, 2014
I would appreciate any advice on how to sell Hummel figurines, etc. My stepfather wants to start clearing out a lot of things in preparation for the future, and in the event I would move in with him at some point. My mother died four years ago, and during her lifetime she bought a lot of this sort of thing, along with the colored glass in yellow, green and blue. I have never sold anything on eBay, and don't know how to go about getting a decent price for these items. ...
Advice PleaseJun 21, 2014
I don't know if I need advice or just want to vent. My husband and I enjoy having close friends over, going out to dinner with them, doing get togethers and other such things. Out of 4 couples, 2 of the couples are so dysfunctional that it makes me crazy. No alcohol is involved here, so we can't even blame that. I don't claim to know what goes on behind closed doors, but when we're all together, it's the women who fly off the handle at their husbands for the stupi ...
Need Cat AdviceJan 27, 2015
My cat is hiding underneath my neighbor's shrubs and will not come home. He is afraid I will keep him inside so he doesn't trust me anymore. He stayed out all night last night and I finally saw him this morning. I tried coaxing him, bribing him with food, and he just ran away to find a safer hiding spot. He got into a cat fight on Friday and got a small puncture wound. I kept him in on Sunday to keep an eye on the wound and he was not happy about it. That's why he doesn' ...
Need Some Advice PleaseJan 30, 2015
I have a problem with my ear. When my pneumonia started, one day I had what I thought was the starting of an earache. Then that went away and I ended up sick just with the pneumonia. Okay it has been 28 days since my first day in the hospital. My ear has been stopped up since then and I have tried Claritin, Auralgan and Cortisporin Otic drops. Nothing is working. What could be wrong with it? I never have problems popping my ears after a cold or getting water in them. I didn't g ...
Need AdviceMar 17, 2017
Need some advice. Here's what happened (by the way, I'm a 25-year MT veteran, which is why I'm posting here). I was unwell at work about 3 weeks ago, and it was determined that I should be admitted. Treatment lasted 8 days, and I feel great now! My doctor said I should apply for FMLA (famliy medical leave) since I took off more time than my employer's policy allows and may have further absences in the future. My doctor completed the form and signed ...
Hi, Need Some AdviceMar 30, 2017
I had a severe dental infection and was given clindamycin. I was hesitant to take it, but did so with a probiotic. Now I am starting to have diarrhea. Does anyone have any advice on treating this OTC? I'm recently retired and have no insurance at present. Thanks in advance. ...
Advice For A New E-Bay Seller?Feb 28, 2012
I have created an exceptional product that I want to list on e-Bay to make some extra money. Are there any experienced e-Bay sellers here who can give me some advice/tips/suggestions? Thanks! ...
Any Advice For Sleeping Better?Mar 28, 2011
Never been a great sleeper, but now I sleep about 1 hour at a time. I try to sleep about 6-1/2 to 7 hours, but am exhausted. Fall asleep fairly quickly, but can't stay asleep. Don't think am apneic. Tried Lunesta without much help. Tried Benadryl, again not much help. So tired. Makes typing misery to be so sleepy. ...
Help - Need Advice. Kittens To Come Mar 25, 2011
From my message below you know we have a stray cat. Today for the first day I held my hand out and she sniffed at the tip of my outstretched fingers. Think she is finally starting to warm up. Doesn't run away when we walk out. Well guess what....she's going to have kittens. At least we are 99.8% she is. She was thin when we started to feed a few weeks ago and now she's got a pouch when walking towards us you can see the sides bulging. Ever ...
Advice To The GirlsNov 03, 2009
Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. What do you do if you boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there. Go for the younger man - you might as well, they never mature anyway. Men are all the same - they just have different faces so we can tell them apart. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. T ...
Need Personal AdviceMar 11, 2011
Need advice. My son is 40 and has 2 children ages 12 and 14. He is getting divorced but that's not the main issue. For the past 20 years he has been sporadic in sending christmas cards/gifts, birthday and mother's day cards/gifts. His wife would often cover for him but only some of the time. I don't believe I have ever had a card, phone call or gift for mother's day. The last few years I have gotten nothing on any of the aforementioned "sp ...
Need Hubby AdviceNov 30, 2009
I really need some help here and this is the only place to get it fast. My husband and I are separated. I caught him having "affair" at work, he was paying for some lady at work's car repairs, and sabotaged my daughter's attempt to work in this lady's department, along with lots and lots of lies and secrets and covering up. Short story, when confronted, he moved out and filed for divorce (and, of course is blaming me for the whole thing, saying I kicked him out - ...