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What is wrong with people? I really gotta vent!!
Posted: Dec 3, 2010
Is there an increase in child abuse lately? Have I just become more aware of it since I have 2 toddler grandkids, or is it just that the media is covering it more. I saw where a 7-year-old girl was locked in a cold attic for months for bedwetting by her grandmother. She was beaten and starved. She had chunks of bald spots on her head from having her hair ripped out. She had a broken foot. The grandmother said she was raising her grandchildren and was "doing the best she could." Another story, an 18-month-old was hung in a closet by his ankles and the mother allowed 3 teenagers to beat him until he was near dead and had to be taken to the hospital.
The latest in our state, was a grandmother, relatives, and her 2-/12 yo granddaughter were leaving a mall to the parking garage 6 stories up when the grandmother picked up the little girl and threw her over to her death. Why? No one knows. This story chilled me to the bone. I could not sleep last night because I dreamed that my 3-yo grandson was falling and I could not catch him (not a parking garage). I woke up crying. I got over the dream but I could not get the little girl out of my mind no matter how hard I tried.
I get very irritated and fed up with my 3-yo grandson when he throws tantrums, and I somewhat understand the exhaustive frustration in dealing with it, but I have never hit him. He goes in time out or in his room where I can not hear it, until it is over and I tell him he can come out and apoliogize.
This is a useless question, I know, but what would possess a person to do such harm to absolutely defenseless children? It makes other problems seem so trivial, doesn't it? I used to try to ignore it, but now I have toddler grandchildren, and maybe it is disturbing me more than it should, so I thought I would write this out and see if I can sleep better tonight. Thanks for letting me unload.
;
People - Tara
[ In Reply To ..]I think it is just the media covering it more. These heinous crimes are unthinkable to people like us, but some people just don't have that "motherly" instinct like we do where we care and love our own and couldn't imagine anything possibly happening to them. These people are the types of people who feel burdened with children and don't have the love one should for their children or any children for that matter. I have typed mental health for 12 years and when I think back to some of the reports I have typed it makes me physically sick. There have been some where I have literally had to stop and walk away from my computer for awhile. It's dumbfounding what adults can do to these small innocent children. You are not alone in your thoughts by any means...
It makes me very angry and sick knowing that they keep breeding... - SassyPants
[ In Reply To ..]and yet, I cannot have children on my own. ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING AND THESE PEOPLE NEED TO BE STERILIZED. I am just so mad about these kinds of things that they can have children no problem and yet I have struggled with infertility for years and am more deserving and would never ever do that to a child. Makes me sick. Does not make any sense to me that God gives babies to these people...very, very sad.
I've thought about becoming a foster parent just for these reasons, but IDK if I would be able to handle seeing it in person w/o flying off the handle and really giving that parent a what-for. Those people do not understand how easy they have it in terms of "oops I keep getting pregnant"...I would switch places with them anyday (not the abuse part obviously) but live in my shoes for a day and try to go on about your life w/o kids and NOT by your choice.
:-(
I totally agree - - see message
[ In Reply To ..]30 years trying and nothing. DH is wonderful with kids and I love kids. Went through 10 years of fertility drugs, testing, etc, etc, etc. We are decent people, have a loving home, all that and nothing. I too cannot figure out why God gives babies to these people.
20 years ago we talked about adoption, and other options but never went through that. Now at 53 I don't have the desire to have a child that I did when I was younger.
You are right on - let people live in my shoes without kids and not by choice is very very hard. Getting together with family members nieces and nephews on Mothers Day and having to sit and smile like its no big deal is a real heart breaker and hurts so bad. We just stopped getting together. Don't think any of them can understand how much it hurts. They don't understand how upsetting it is not to be able to have kids when they have 4 and 5 and say jokingly "every time I sneeze I get pregnant" and talk about how blessed they are and how much God loves them to bless them with wonderful kids. I felt like screaming at them every time, well I'm sorry that God doesn't love me and feels I am not worthy of kids. We have since stopped getting together on mother's day and I think they understand. Other days are fine, just not Mother's Day. And my heart melts when my niece runs up to me when I see her and say's I love you Auntie Violet. Just wish I could hear I love you mommy. It hurts beyond words, and hurts more to hear of these young innocent children suffering with an abusive parent/grandparent or whatever. All I say are the children are now in a much better life then they would have here.
You may not be a mom, but... - starstruck
[ In Reply To ..]...you make a difference in kids' lives anyway just by the fact that you are a good person who has a loving heart. My parents were great, but growing up they both worked and sometimes we kids got lost in the shuffle. If it hadn't been for my great-aunt who did not have kids, things would have been very different. She was a wonderful person and everybody loved her. I'm thinking that you are probably that kind of person, too. I remember reading about the Lennon sisters years ago, and one of them couldn't have children. It bothered her, too, especially when they would have the Lawrence Welk Christmas show and everyone would bring their kids. Some things just hurt, even though no one means to make someone feel bad.
Thanks, those are really nice words - Violet
[ In Reply To ..]I love all my nieces and nephews. Every few months we have a huge get together and they come for a slumber party at our house. It's loads of fun. I would do anything I can for them. My siblings and their husbands and wife's do know how hard it is and they never push for me to come. I can relate to the Lennon sister that couldn't have children. Holidays, birthdays, mothers and fathers day. Just very sad. I'm too old now to deal with toddlers, but just something that I don't think I can ever get over.
I have a friend who is trying to conceive... - Kendra
[ In Reply To ..]right now and having a difficult time doing so. Her situation is different in that she had a son when she was 20, who is 12 now, but is now remarried and wants to have a baby with husband #2. It is just not happening for her and breaks her heart. I sometimes find myself saying things that tend to upset her, although I don't mean to, and I feel as if I have to watch everything I say about my kids. I pray that she has the baby she wants, but would like any advice as to how to help her get through this difficult time in her life, though I doubt that there is really anything I can do to ease her pain. I feel for you and cannot imagine how it feels to be you.
I wish those above who are childless.... - BackwoodsMT
[ In Reply To ..]could be interviewed and investigated as appropriate, and instantly be given custody of a child/children who need a safe loving environment I agree, it is heartbreaking to see those blessed with beautiful healthy children take for granted the gift that God has given them while those who posted above will not know the beauty of having children or grandchildren. At the same time, it is so unfair for many children to live through the hell and horror at the hands of their own parents. This seems to be hitting the media at an all time high and I wish there was more demanding outcry from the public and much more severe punishment for the offenders. It seems that CPS, as many government agencies, are just not equipped to handle what is their job. So very sad.
It's very hard - loved your post too Backwoods MT - Violet
[ In Reply To ..]The first 10 years of my marriage I was a wreck every month. We tried so hard. We tried all different drugs (both of us), and I was prepared to have multiple births because the specialist said there was a 90% chance it would happen. Tests, tests, tests, drugs, tests, special mud baths, and even hanging upside down LOL. Doctor knew my ovulation pattern better than I did. We would try hard, then not try, try, not try, not care, then care, etc, etc. Then about 10 years later DH announced he didn't want kids. I still did. Than about 4 or 5 years later he wanted kids, but at that time I didn't. Then after that we both decided we didn't want kids. Then I had an ectopic pregnancy and they found massive scar tissue when they did surgery and was told that chances of me getting pregnant again was pretty much 0% and if I did it would most like be ectopic again. Now I just don't have the desire to have a baby, but if a freak nature thing happens and I do have one I will be happy (I guess).
Anyway...there really wasn't anything that anyone could ever say that would make me feel better when I wanted a baby so bad. My friends told me if I needed a shoulder they were there for me but they just couldn't do or say anything to make me feel better.
I think it's a struggle I've dealt with my whole life. I learned a long time ago that God doesn't love me and I've just learned to deal with it. At first I used to be very angry towards him. Now I've come to deal with it and live with it.
The only think I would be able to say is first, I really hope your friend has a baby. Believe me it helps to have friends that care and feel the pain of it too. I know what she's going through and believe me after awhile you learn to live with it. I love my nieces and nephews and anytime I want my siblings, cousins, etc all will let me have their children. LOL. The only thing I have to be thankful for is I don't have to deal with the costs of raising kids, and dealing with them being sassy mouth to me. LOL
It does hurt and I can tell you the hurt never goes away, still get tears every once in awhile, but it does get easier over time to live with it.
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