A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

A vent and a question

Posted: Jan 7, 2010

Hey all,

I will try to keep this brief. My question first and then the reasons behind it. Has anybody out there in their life ever just picked up, cut ties and disappeared to some place else? Men and women have done it, but women less, I think.

Now for the vent/reasons I ask, I like a lot of people now am having it very, very hard. I won't bore you will all of it, but financially, job-wise, vehicle-wise, love life-wise, I am just a mess. I would love to just pack up and leave, but with my family, I would never do that to them. Just feeling really trapped.

If you have done this ever, was it what you thought it would be? Are you happy or sad that you did it? Thanks for reading. I'll get off my soap box now. :)

;

I came close -- OH SO CLOSE! But in the end, - Beckoning Door

[ In Reply To ..]
I didn't. There was one year in particular where love life was a disaster, 2nd income business was a royal pain, hated my apartment, DETESTED my neighbors and landlord, ditto for manager and coworkers. After one time too many of being called into manager's office for some nitpicky little nonsense thing she was threatening to terminate me for, I decided to leave work early and go somewhere. ANYWHERE. I had my credit cards in my purse. My bank was just a block away, ready and waiting to go over and clean out my savings and checking accounts. I very seriously thought about just jumping in my car and taking off, leaving absolutely everything behind, pets and family included. I wanted to just go somewhere else, become someone else, and just disappear off the face of the earth.

I decided to think about it for one day, instead. Slept on it one night. Called in "sick" the next day and instead went for a very long hike way up into the mountains. By the end of the hike, I came up with the theory that it was still doable, but that it would be better not to disappear entirely; that some sort of a plan was necessary or else I'd just be worse off, with no place to live, no possessions, no job yet, and no identity with which to get those things.

Decided to go back to work for the remainder of the week. Took a long drive on the weekend to an area I'd considered moving to anyway, and looky-loo'ed a bunch of apartments. Made a note of hospitals in the area that were potential employers. This pattern of weekend hunting continued for a few months, til I realized I wasn't really getting anywhere. Meantime, things at work had calmed down, and the manager was now picking on someone ELSE, instead.

I eventually came up with a few different ideas and areas that were potential places to move. Although I had no computer the day I first walked out the door, vowing to disappear, I now had one, and used it to check areas, apartments, and job opportunitites. (It was about that time I began to realize that hospital MT jobs were disappearing.) So I started looking at MTSOs. At this point in time, most were paying 10 cpl or more. That expanded my opportunities a bit, as I could consider moving to areas that didn't have an in-house employer nearby.

I also had started a pros-and-cons list of different choices. In the meantime, there were more negative changes at work. I started putting together the tools I'd need to work at home, because if I left the hospital, I knew working at home was most likely going to be my only option. Bought a bigger, faster, better computer. Got high-speed internet, firewalls, etc. Whenever I could spare the money, I bought myself Stedman's reference books. When my hospital bought all its MTs new Dorland's dictionaries, I asked if I could keep my old one for myself (since I had copious words & notes written in the margins), and they said sure, go ahead and take it.

Bit by bit I purchased items for a home office: A big computer desk, an ergonomic keyboard tray, and a comfy, multi-adjustable office chair. All these things were easier to obtain one at a time, than it would have been to just pack up and leave, and have to buy them all at once. (With no job!) I knew I'd have to have these things first, before ever applying to an MTSO. I invested in headphones, a foot pedal, office supplies, etc.

Finally, I began looking in earnest for work. Eventually, after lots of looking, the right opportunity presented itself. I did my interviewing with the recruiter on my cell phone, sitting in my car out in the parking lot at the hospital. I did my oral exam that way, too. Did the typing test at home.

Once I changed jobs, and started working at home, I'm glad I did that first, BEFORE all the expenses and shake-ups involved in moving. Also, I was glad I didn't break ties with friends and family, because I wasn't prepared for the 50% drop in pay between working in-house at the hospital and, working for chicken-feed-per-line. Several times I had to hit up my mom or my siblings for money to pay car insurance, a vet bill, etc. But I made sure that no matter WHAT, I paid the rent. That (and electricity, obviously) is first and foremost the most important, over insurance, clothes, gasoline, car repairs, or even groceries.

I spent the next few months learning to live on an extremely tight budget. I also knew I had to leave my area, which was expensive to live in even with the higher-paying job. Now, it was a joke, especially since the apartment was a dump, even at that price.

Working for an MTSO allowed me to move to a somewhat cheaper town (though not as cheap as it really needs to be in order to live on an MT's salary). It's not out in the sticks like I was originally planning to move to, which is why it's more expensive, but the upside is I can walk to the little mom & pop market for most groceries (saving gas money), and I'm still only about an hour's drive away from visiting most of my friends. The family never lived nearby, anyway.

So for now, other than being poor from doing MT for a living, at least I'm happy with where I live. And that one thing is HUGE.

I don't think I'll ever be completely sure I might not eventually take off someday. Still, as long as I can keep one foot out the door, and it never slams shut and traps me, then most likely I'll feel like staying.

Thanks - Mookster

[ In Reply To ..]
Wow, you certainly gave me some things to think about. Like I said, I only have 2 family members left and we are extremely close, so I just couldn't bear to actually do it, but I spend most of the day imagining it. I did feel better after reading your post.

I'll keep hoping that things will turn around or that I will see some "brighter" side that I just don't see now. Thanks again for your story.

packed up, picked up and went - but kept contact with family

[ In Reply To ..]
I had two very hard years from every aspect of my life. I had been working from home and that was the only good part of my life. But I was about to lose my sanity from a variety of stressors. Something happened to my rented garage one day and I did lose it. I broke my lease on my apt, packed up and put almost everything I owned in a rental space about 20 miles from my mom's house, packed my office and my parrot in my car and started driving. I rented hotel rooms by the week and worked from there. I got to see a lot of places I wouldn't have otherwise been able to visit. I paid cash for everything and only used my ATM/debit card to pay the bills I kept and to withdraw my paycheck. I paid bills online or by phone. In my case, I had 2 cell phones. One that my family knew about ane one for anything else (there was a stalker involved in the mix). I did everything through my computer or a local library (found places to say, car insurance, did my taxes, you name it). I felt really safe and started feeling better, but in the end, it got old and I wanted my own place again. Most of those stressors had resolved and I was able to empty my storage unit and set up house again.

I think it made me stronger to do that when I did because my life is sooo much more stressful than it was then in different ways than it was then, but I am handling things so much better. Sometimes it is okay to give yourself permission to fall down so you can pick yourself back up and walk taller.

I have thought about it many many many times - just me

[ In Reply To ..]
You can't even believe how many times I have thought about it. Some family members I could do without (including DH sometimes), others I could not. And my freinds...they are the best of the best...I could not live without them (even though I don't live near them and don't keep in touch as often as I want). But oh I can't even say how many times I wish I could just walk out, pick a new name, pick a new town and start over (sort of like Julia Roberts in that movie Sleeping with the Enemy). There are so many times I become so sad and miss my family members who have passed on. I just want out of this life so bad (however, I think suicide is a sin and I could never ever ever do that - too afraid of pain and what the Big Guy upstairs would do to me LOL), but if a big ol boulder was to come down and crush me flat I'd be more than happy so that I could be with them again. Sometimes my life just sucks big time. I wake up, start work, work, work, have lunch, work, work, have dinner, watch TV, go to bed. Then get up the next day to do it again. Of course intermingled with paying bills, and grocery shopping. Wow...what a life. That's it. I have no family close by (they are all over the country and we don't live close to any of them and DH doesn't want to live close to any of them), and I have no friends (only the ones I email who also happen to be all over the country). We just exist and sometimes I'm just tired of it. For me I hope 2010 is all people are saying it will be.

But back to your original message. I have thought of it many times, but there is too much to think of and do. I think you would probably have to cut all ties with family/friends, which I couldn't do. Legally change name, new social security, etc. I just think in the end there are too many obstacles if planning something like that.

Taking off sm - Gem

[ In Reply To ..]
This profession is very stressful, so take your time and think about it. If you have kids, think of them as I did which prevented me from running away more than once. This is a thankless job, nobody but us understands us. Docs laugh at us with the, "What does she know?" attitude. Husbands don't even know how we suffer and how hard we work. Everything I worked for, my husband claims as "my house, my car, my kids, my, my my." I get a manicure at Wal-Mart $12.50, even get my hair trimmed if I can't afford a regular stylist and buy myself something pretty and stay. That's just how I handle it, but I have kids. I have told one of my kids many times how frustrated I was and he's told me I should never break up the family I've worked so hard for. I don't know your situation,but think about it, please. We all feel this way from time to time. It depends on your circumstances and who you would hurt if you left. This profession is greatly unappreciated. My thoughts and prayers are with you today.

Never have I thought about just leaving - Southern lady

[ In Reply To ..]
My life has in the past definitely not been a bed of roses but I had children and run, from what? Problems usually just follow. I like stability, love it in fact and wanted a home and have that and want extras in my life. I do not want to have just the basics, food and clothing, I have always wanted more than the basics. I had an exhusband who decided he wanted to live on the streets. Finally got too old for that and my son took him in. He is so weather worn, has not made enough in his life that now only collects $300 a month in social security and I worked, worked, worked and my social security is now almost $2,000 a month. I know how younger people talk about it not being around for them but I think that has been talk now for years and years. Anyway, just never saw a reason for pulling up stakes and leaving. Too much wear and tear on your body. I like my vacations but I love my home.

Thanks for your words - Mookster

[ In Reply To ..]
Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. Yes, this field is thankless. I am a single parent and I won't/can't go anywhere right now, but it is just getting harder to hang on.

The only income is from my job (I won't even bother explaining to you here how far that isn't stretching), my car can't go further than a few blocks and I have pawned everything I own to pay bills, there is nothing left to pawn.

I can't afford to cut and run, but I love to imagine taking my small family and living off the land! :) For now, guess I will go to work and be grateful I have a job anyway, right?

No kids here - just me

[ In Reply To ..]
I don't have any kids, so don't have to think about them. However, my whole life has been lived to make sure everyone else is happy. It doesn't matter if I'm happy, just as long as they are. Now that I'm hitting 50 in a couple months, I look back and wish I had thought out my decisions "with a brain". I joined the service without telling anyone and didn't even think it through. Before I knew it and without thinking I signed the paper and that was done. Then I eloped without thinking and without talking to anyone. Married a guy I didn't know (we dated two weeks). Now I can't even think why I married him. Because he was cute? Because I was 20 and in another country and felt I could do anything without consequences? I just don't know anymore.

I do little things here and there that I love doing like sewing and needle projects, photography, drawing, etc, but there is just something that is not satisfying my life and I dream of just starting all over with a new name, new town, etc. However, I love my friends and my family, and at a few months shy of turning 50 I don't have the guts I did when I was younger. To me it's only a dream, and one thing I have learned in my life is there are always consequences to everything we do.

Mookster - Hope things get better. - Fingers

[ In Reply To ..]
Yes, it was a long time ago but I remember it like it was yesterday and I felt the same way. If you continue to feel that way, you have 2 choices.

1. Do it. As long as you are not hurting anyone, why not? If you found a good paying job you could support your family with, or continue your present job in a cheaper location, why not?

2. You could speak with a counselor/therapist. They can not fix your financial problems and so forth, but they can help you not feel guilty about the ideas that you have. Sometimes when you just don't give a flip and you want to break way, actually you are right and justified in feeling that way.

I hope things get better for you. If not, you can only do what you can do. Be at peace with that ("accept the things I cannot change"). The last time I felt like you do, I got drunk with a friend. Took care of me for a while. I won't be doing that again for a very long time I hope. He He He.

Thanks Fingers - nm - Mookster

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

That was the MO for DH and me for many years - Gumby

[ In Reply To ..]
While a geographical cure works for a few months, it doesn't make the problems go away. I learned after a while that "here is no better than there," and vice versa. I also found that I could not run away from my problems, and that it was a very bad example for my kids.

Life is like surfing waves in the ocean. Sometimes it is exhilarating and sometimes you get water up your nose. (My sissy said that to me first, and she's right).

DO IT! - Ems

[ In Reply To ..]
I am not sure how old you are... but my advice to anyone wanting something new is to DO IT. I wouldn't go as far as to cut off ties with everyone... you say your family is a reason you wouldn't go... but how come? My family is dysfunctionally close, but i had to do it... i miss them a lot but here's how my story went. I was 24 years old, had been with my guy for 4 years, who had a drinking problem and i kept threatening to leave and break it off blah blah blah... of course i never did, until finally i decided i was over it (ends up now im still not LONG STORY LOL) But anyhow, i lived in a small town and decided it was time for a bigger town... i moved from a place of 10K to a place of 280K. I didn't know anybody... it was driving distance of 6 hours from my home town so not too far from my fam...
I grew a lot in that first year i was here. Then i did it again a year ago. my sister had a baby and she lived across the country.
I decided i was going to try living over there (for a set amount of time)... and i got up and went. (luckily being a transcriptionist i was able to). Well this time, i ended up in the south, and i couldn't believe i hadn't done these things before, now that im getting older i can't just be up and moving around whenever i want, i want to eventually settle down..

Well i will tell you what, i have a house in my first city so i knew i couldn't stay in the south, but that is a place i miss every single day (ive been back since June 09)...

Since transcription is going away, i have again applied in a city about 7 hours from my current... and im about to pack up and leave again.
it isn't for everyone. not everyone likes changes...

but i tell you what, i will NEVER regret that first move (or the second, and perhaps hopefully not the third)... it was the best thing i ever did!

GOOD LUCK no matter what you decide.

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