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Non-MT vent


Posted: Dec 22, 2016

I am posting this here because I know most of you have worked on-site in offices at some point in your lives and I wanted some feedback regarding something that happened in my office.  I used to work as an MT and now I'm in a medical records office with about 10 or so coworkers.  Most of the ladies are nice but there are a couple who like to stir up trouble and one who is a nosy-body and tattletale.  I'm in my 60s, single and happy with my status, not really interested in dating at this juncture in my life.  Today, in the office with about 5 of them in earshot, the nosy one blurts out that she has a male friend who wants to meet someone and would I be interested.  I tried to evade answering the question but then tactfully said that I didn't think it was an appropriate subject to be discussing in the workplace.  I barely know this woman and she knows nothing about me.  I rarely share personal things at work, mainly because I don't think it's anyone's business, and I've always hated people trying to fix me up.  If it had been just the 2 of us and I thought she was a friend or someone I could trust, maybe it would have been different, but I felt that to do this in an office full of co-workers was inappropriate.  Our manager is gone on FMLA and I doubt that anything like this would have been said in her presence but I'd like some thoughts.  If the co-worker continues this, I'm thinking it could be considered sexual harrassment but that's probably over reacting.  It is possible that she is spreading gossip about me.  Then there's the coworker who came over to my desk when I was on the phone on a work-related call, grabbed the back of my chair and turned it in the other direction and reprimanded me to keep my voice down, I wasn't loud, we were conversational, yikes.

This doesn't have anything to do with the above, but late last week, one of my neighbors set fire to his townhouse; he's a cigar smoker and had been throwing his butts on the deck without fully extinguishing them and they finally had enough fuel to start a fire.  There are 3 units in that building and the fire department contained it so it didn't spread, but his place is gutted and none of the other neighbors have come home permanently yet due to the smoke.  Thankfully, no one was injured.  

Anyway, that's my week, any and all comments are welcome, thank you.  It probably seems bizarre, but this stuff all happened. I hope you all have a good holiday.

;

Office - problem

[ In Reply To ..]
Keep your distance from that person. You may want to go and talk to your HR person about the situation. I had a supervisor at a medical college once who was a real "nut case" and would sneak up behind me (when no other MTs were in the office) and start yelling at me for no reason! Goofy in the head ... you run into all kinds. Just keep your distance.

Wow - MT

[ In Reply To ..]
Wow, and I thought MY week was strange. Perhaps there's something going on with planetary alignments?

Sorry to hear about your horrid week. I just wanted to point out that in order for an offense to qualify as sexual harassment, the person harassing you has to have (employment) power over you, i.e. be your superior or be able to cause you adversity in the form of job loss or demotion. Perhaps you can come up with a snappy one-liner that will shut her "matchmaking" crap down for good.

Hang in there!

My standard response has always been, - "Sorry, I never go on blind dates."

[ In Reply To ..]






I believe you can be...SM - Old Anon

[ In Reply To ..]
sexually harassed by a peer. It does not have to be someone who has employment power over you. You should keep a notebook and document anything said, date, time, etc. In any event, you didn't say whether you are male or female. I assume male because your coworker tried to fix you up with a woman friend of hers. If you are female and your coworker tried to fix you up with a woman, I'd say you have a harassment claim if she "outed" you in front of coworkers. I'd report that. I like the suggestion given for a comeback, though--"I never go on blind dates" is excellent.

Should've put under Wow post...SM - Old Anon

[ In Reply To ..]
Sorry.

Oh, Brother - One in Every Crowd

[ In Reply To ..]
Isn't there just at least one in every crowd? I've worked in a few small offices (Non-MT and MT), and gosh darn it, in a small crowd of 4 people, at least one had to be a busy body or an OB (Office Bi***).

I wouldn't play the sexual harassment card. That's a legal term and has to be used carefully. If I were you, I wouldn't even say, "I don't do blind dates." That leaves you open to her casually inviting someone to the office or an office party and introducing you. Heck, that's not a blind date.

Just tell her you're not interested in a relationship right now. People like her are miserable and lonely in their own lives, and feel the need to "fix" someone else's. It's a way of deflecting their own loneliness onto someone else.

Direct response to busybody...sm - Longtimer

[ In Reply To ..]
I find the best approach to *that person* in the office is a very direct, look 'em in the eye, clear as possible "no, not interested, stop talking about my personal life to anyone in this office." We're too often concerned with being nice, when we need to be direct.
That person never expects anyone to strike back (metaphorically) and it usually does the job.
But I agree with writing down each incident with date and time and people involved....just in case.

Has your townhouse been cleared for safety? The last thing you need is an errant ember suddenly coming to life.

Handle it yourself-- - OldOfficeGal

[ In Reply To ..]
You need thick skin to work in an office. Try sarcasm, like “I don’t know where I’d find the time to add one more man to my dating schedule” or “thanks for the offer and if I ever get that hard up, I’ll let you know.” My point is don’t be a victim. There are people like that in every office and everyone knows who those people are. You can put a stop to it with a few well-placed words at the right time without having to go to management or make a mountain out of a molehill. Use humor and then at least you can chuckle at yourself and move on with your day.

Ah, the dreaded office drama... - PandaBear

[ In Reply To ..]
This is something everyone has to deal with when working in an office, especially in an office full of women.

Regarding the "fix-up" coworker, I would simply tell her, "Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm really not interested in dating right now. I'm really pretty happy being single and free at this point." If she can't get the message with that, and if she persists, it's time to mention it to a superior, because continuing the topic after that would border on harassment.

As far as the woman who turned your chair around and told you to keep your voice down, I would have turned to her and said, "I'm sorry, I will try; but don't touch my chair again or tell me what to do. You're not my supervisor. If you have a problem, then talk to a superior or ask me NICELY." If she asked you, "X, could you try and talk more quietly, please?" that would be acceptable. Manipulating your chair and demanding that you lower your voice is not her place.

Having said the above, I will never work in an office setting again because I swear, I will attempt to strangle the next drama queen. Hahaha

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