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teen daughter's job drama

Posted: Jul 16, 2010

My 17-year-old daughter called me on her break (she works in fast food) and said her manager had walked up behind her and slapped her arm, then scolded her about something she was doing wrong. I could tell she had been crying, but it was 2 hours after the incident had happened. I asked her if it just hurt her feelings or if she slapped her hard enough that it hurt. She said it was hard enough that it stung for about 5 minutes. How upset would you be if it were your daughter and what would you do?

BTW, my daughter's infraction was that she was supposed to be getting the milkshakes that were ordered as well as taking orders. She usually works in the back making sandwiches or taking money in the drivethru but she was learning front register and nobody told her she was supposed to get milkshakes. In case it matters, the manager is a 50-ish-year-old woman.

;

Tell her to talk to the manager - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Unfortunately there are a lot of people, in fast food especially, that get big heads when they are managers, as if yelling at teenagers is an ego trip. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean that she should get away with something like this. If your daughter would like to keep the peace and keep her job, I would tell her to respectfully ask to speak to this person and have your daughter apologise for not getting the milkshakes, that she will be sure to do that in the future, but from now on she would appreciate it if she kept the physical contact out of it. Perhaps this lady didn't mean to do what she did, but she needs to be told that that is not okay with your daughter. Your daughter can tell her "If you need to speak with me, or if I am doing something wrong, I would be happy to have a little meeting in the back or in the office, but please don't slap me or correct me like that in front of customers.

She could go above her managers boss, but oftentimes that just leads to more problems than it is worth in fast food.

That really sucks to be her, I've been there, done that, and am SO glad I'm past that time in my life. This is a really good learning oportunity for her, to learn how to talk to supervisors without causing friction. Being calm and deliberate is the best thing she can do.

slapping someone is assault. I would not let an adult even verbally - abuse my child. n/m

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

That may be but... - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm assuming this is the girls first job. It is a learning experience. No, nobody should verbally or physically assault an employee, but I would not suggest stepping in and talking to the manger on the daughter's behalf. She needs to learn how to handle conflicts in the workplace. If the manager doesn't clean up her act, then it would be time to go above her head and follow the correct procedures. This teenager is 17, not 7, she needs to learn what working is all about, which sometimes means standing up for yourself to the person in charge.

If all else fails, she can either 1) go above the managers head or 2) quit.

What is she going to do? Call the cops for assault for a slap on the arm? That teaches good conflict resolution.

Well, here is what I did. - peacelover

[ In Reply To ..]
My husband was furious and wanted to call the police. I didn't feel comfortable with that because I didn't see it happen and I know my daughter is extra sensitive, so though she did slap her, the strength of the slap is in question. Of course the manager should not have put a hand on her at all, but I wanted to show the lady some mercy because we all need that sometimes. No one is perfect and my daughter was not physically injured.

My daughter is a very timid person. I would love to see her stand up for herself, but right now I don't think she could do it, bless her heart. She would throw up from nerves. Eventually she will get there but probably not any time soon. Call her a work in progress. (She reminds me a lot of myself when I was young. Scared of the silliest things.)

I ended up calling the store owner to inform him of what happened. He was shocked and assured me that he would talk to the mananger and make sure my daughter is not made to feel like she is going to be fired at any moment for tattling. I told him I thought she should at least get a sincere apology.

This whole situation really bothers me because my daughter has been trying to conquer her fear of the front register, which can be stressful when the line builds up. She started out with very little confidence, but lately she has been pushing herself out of her comfort zone and I was really proud of her for that. Then SLAP! She must have been so embarrassed. :(

I'm glad it got resolved - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm glad that the owner was good enough to step in without causing problems. I hope this resolves things. Tell your daughter to keep pushing herself, I was horribly shy myself when I was young, then for whatever reason I decided being an exchange student would be 'fun' when I was 16. I spent a year alone in a strange country with very few people who spoke English and was unable to speak their language for the first half of that year. Let me tell you, I came RIGHT out of my shell and really learned a lot about myself. I hope she can continue on and gain the strength over the years that she will need.

poor girl - hideous1

[ In Reply To ..]
Peacelover, I can't believe that! It actually makes me feel sickish to think that somebody would do that. That was very wrong of that woman. She should/could be in a lot of trouble. It would break my heart if my child were treated like that for something as innocent as fastfood milkshakes and cash registers. I would be outraged. I am sorry you both had to deal with an assault like this. Take that woman to the cleaners - or else she'll do it again. The next child might not be so respectful. You'd be doing that woman a favor in the long run.

I would have her fill out an incident report and contact - corp headquarters with an abuse complaint.

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

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