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OPINIONS ABOUT WEDDING CAKE

Posted: Jun 30, 2010

My 25 DD is getting married next June. She does not want to have a receiving line after the mass which is a Catholic ceromony because she said it is awkard. So intead she would like to have a receving line at the reception where the guests line up and the bride and groom pass out the cake and then thank people for coming. I am totally against this but she said that is the way it is these days. She has only been to two weddings in her life. I have not been to a wedding in about 10 years so may be it is. I told her that would take away time for which you can be dancing or visiting with friends. It is a sit down dinner for 200 guests. I know that the venue would be serving the cake to each table unless my daughter asked to do it her way. I think it is an imposition for people to stop talking or mingling to stand in line for a piece of cake. Because of the internet she comes up with these ideas. In regards to the receiving line at church I told her the only way to avoid that is to leave the church and get into the limo because people are going to want to hugh and kiss you. What do you think?

;

Receiving Lines - Link

[ In Reply To ..]
I haven't heard of doing it that way during cake, but of course I got married 19 years ago. When I got married, we didn't have a church receiving line either. We actually had it at the reception right before it started. We had a gap in between the wedding and the reception for pictures so we got to the reception just about the time the guests arrived. They had to walk in anyway so it worked out well for us.

I say... - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Let her do what she wants. It is her wedding. It does not matter if she found the idea on the internet or created up some off the wall thing, it is her day.

You had your day and if you decided to go traditional, that was your choice.

Bite your tongue, put on a smile, and dance like its going out of style!!!

original poster - mb

[ In Reply To ..]
Thanks for your reponses. When I got married 30 years ago it was traditional only because then we did not have all these choices out there and an era where you did disagree with parents. 95% of the wedding planning DD and her fiance have chosen. The venue, trolly, church, photographer, DJ, colors etc. I do think though it the parents are paying the bill for this I should have some input. She is marrying someone from another state and her future relatives feel people from my state are cold and not as loveable as they, I just think no reception line confirms their thinking.

Your future in laws - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
are going to learn about you not through a recieving line but by visiting at the wedding and the reception. Paying for a wedding is a GIFT, it should not come with strings attached. If she is asking for some crazy expensive thing that you can't afford, that might be one thing, but when and where she has a recieving line is not. I really think you should let her have her day and let her do it her way. I've been to a few weddings where the bride and groom hand out the cake, it is fairly popular. I've also been at weddings where the bride and groom just wander around duringn the reception and talk to people rather than sitting up at the "big table" looking pretty.

Let her do what she wants on her big day, your in-laws will know what kind of people you are even if there is no recieving line at all.

MB... I have a little story for you - dil

[ In Reply To ..]
My MIL decided that she should have some input into mine and my hubbies wedding. I invited her (out of the kindness of my heart becuase she has no daughters) to help pick out my dress. She insisted on white, she insisted on no bead work, she insisted on the heavy veil, then insisted what color she should wear (even though it did not match the colors we picked) and critized the colors we picked (even though her son picked them).

She told me who had to be invited to the dinner, and even gave me a list of places it had to be at.

When I expressed to her that her son and I had a completely different idea, she told me that she never got a choice, and felt that we should not either (even though we were paying for the entire wedding ourselves).

Well, of course we did what we wanted and now there is a huge wedge in our relationship because we did not comply with her wishes.

DO NOT START OFF YOUR DAUGHTERS LIFE WITH HER NEW HUSBAND WITH THIS BETWEEN YOU. NO GOOD CAN COME OF IT.

If you are paying for the wedding, it is a gift like the other poster said. NO STRINGS. Let go of thoughts of how you think a wedding should play out and I am telling you, you will be glad that you did.

The last vew weddings I have been to have not - j

[ In Reply To ..]
had a receiving line. The bride and groom just go around at the reception to every table and talk to the guests. Even if the reception is at the same place as the wedding, you do not have to have receiving line as most times pictures are taken after the ceremony while the guests go to the reception, be it at the same place or somewhere else. I don't like the idea either of them handing out the cake, not everybody eats cake and it could take forever---not everyone gets cake at the same time either.

Some perspective - mtlive

[ In Reply To ..]
You might find this funny. In the grand scheme of things, the recieving line is the last you should worry about ;-)

wedinator.com

Opinions about wedding cake - Pauline

[ In Reply To ..]
I have been to lots of weddings and I have never seen a bride and groom give out wedding cake in the receiving line. My daughters did not want receiving lines at their weddings. They just mingled with guests. Catering cut the cake and cake was placed on table for guests to get, but we had buffet style. I am going to a wedding this weekend at a country club. Now I am anxious to see how this couple does the receiving line and cake. I guess I would just let them do what they wanted, but I have never seen this done this way. May be it is more popular in the area that you live in, but I live in the South and most of the weddings I have been to like a laid back casual affair. That might be a good question to ask Martha Stewart Website or the Knot.

weddings - original poster

[ In Reply To ..]
Thanks for your opinions. I just want to say this is the first thing I have spoke up about regarding the wedding. Believe me my daughter has more to worry about than a cake line. But she is making the choice to marry him and we have said nothing. She has no idea how we feel and that is okay. Her and her fiance have picked out everything else which we are okay with. My daughter asked our opinion and I told her how I felt. I never said it had to be my way. I just said I did not care for it. My daughter is the type that asks our opinion but gets mad if it is not what she wants to hear. Than she will say well it is our wedding. So my husband said why do you ask then. Her mother in law has more to say about their choices than I do but that is between them. I don't get involved with their discussions. We actually get along quite well with her future inlaws and have traveled with them. By the way we live in New England.

Your DD needs to know that she is making a mistake. - And this is a big mistake!

[ In Reply To ..]
Yes, the wedding reception should celebrate the couple's marriage. However, it is a party, and good hosts want their guests to be comfortable and to have a good time. Standing in line for cake is NOT a good time. The guests will talk about it forever. "Can you believe we had to stand in line as if we were at a child's birthday party?" Elderly guests will not want to stand for any length of time. In fact, they may not even want cake. Others who are having a great time dancing and socializing will find their fun come to a screeching halt because the bride requires them to stand in line. If I were a guest, I wouldn't bother. And by the time the last people in line have been served, the first will have eaten their cake and will be sitting at their tables quite bored. In fact, the cutting of the cake is usually a signal that the reception is nearing the conclusion, so many of the guests may eat and leave, especially if they are annoyed about standing in line for cake!

I was married 25 years ago, and we did not have a receiving line at church. We did, however, walk from table to table after we had eaten our dinner (we were served first), and welcomed and thanked each of our 126 guests. It was a bit of work on our part, but it didn't interfere with our guests good time. And, since we visited with an entire table at once, it really didn't take that much time to greet 8 or 10 people at a time.

When I was growing up oh so many years ago, I lived in an Italian immigrant neighborhood. Wedding receptions resembled block parties, and the bride, groom and bridal party walked around with baskets of treats to give to the guests. It was a lovely custom, but the married couple went TO their guests, not the other way around. It was an especially nice way to greet the eldest, most respected guests.

Please explain to your daughter that her wedding is not a license to be a bridezilla. And contrary to the popular screeching of many of today's brides that "It's MY day!" it isn't quite all about her. She should show some class and make her guests feel comfortable. Forget the receiving line. They really are pains, because no matter where or when it's done, people must stand in line for a long time. She and her new husband can work the room fairly quickly by going from table to table during dinner.

see message... - Sassy Pants

[ In Reply To ..]
When I got married in 2007, it was at a park, beautiful outdoor wedding in October in Wisconsin too! Anyway :-), we had our receiving line as soon as we walked back down the aisle. It went pretty quick and the guests met me and/or my husband (for the 1st time half of them) and then they went to the reception hall for cocktails. DONE. After pictures, we showed up at the reception hall all ready to go with the guests seated and the buffet line ready and we took our cake pictures right away and did the face smash thing (not in a tacky way at all) and then during the meal, the cakes were cut and dished up and were ready to be handed out to each table by the end of the meal. We also had plain frosted sheet cakes in the back all ready to go and our "pretty" cake was all fake, just for show. The only real one was the top for keeps and one to cut. That is an idea as well if you like. Honestly, as a bride and a bridesmaid many times over and as a guest, I prefer the receiving line right away to get it over with b/c some guests do not go to the reception also and you miss out on the introduction. :-) And if they are elderly or do not like cake or want to leave early before the loud music starts or just cannot go on to the reception, you got the receiving line done and then it's time to eat and party!

hey sassy pants.. - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Where in Wisconsin do you live? I am in New Berlin...

OMG - Sassy Pants

[ In Reply To ..]
I have in-laws there. I am in Beaver Dam.

I have not been to a wedding in a while but - sm - ECMT

[ In Reply To ..]
the receiving line was always done at the reception first thing. After the church time is generally for pictures for an hour or so, then onto the reception, bride and groom come in and do the receiving line, then sit for dinner, toasts, dancing, etc. I would not make a fuss and let her do it her way, it is her wedding. Her DJ (presuming she is having one) will probably advise her on the normal course of events for receptions but ultimately it is her (their) decision.

wedding update - original poster

[ In Reply To ..]
I want to thank everyone for their opinions. My daughter came to me last night and said that after reading opinions on the Wedding Knot and asking opinions where she works she decided passing out the cake was probably not a good idea. She said her fiance wants a receiving line at the church so she will plan on having one and she how it goes. We are having 50 people to her fiance's 150. His mom is pulling people of the woodwork which they will have to travel two hours to attend it. My DD is very shy and hates crowds or social situations so the reception line might of been her panicking. She would love to have the wedding in a park but with 200 people that was not going to work and we knew his family would not go for it. Plus her fiance has relocated to our state and given up a lot because he loves our daughter so she wants him to have the wedding he wants. Thanks again.

Hope everything turns out well and she has a - beautiful wedding. NM

[ In Reply To ..]
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