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Wedding Question

Posted: Aug 12, 2016

A good friend's granddaughter is getting married. I have been invited to the wedding with no plus 1, just me. I have to drive at least 7 hours to get there. My friend will be sitting at the family table. I will know no one else and will be sitting at a table where I know no one. Wouldn't it have been nicer to let me bring a plus 1, or is that the way things are these days? Just trying to figure out what to do here. P.S. I am single and have been for years.;

It might be "nicer" to you if you could bring a guest, but - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
weddings are expensive, budgets are often tight these days, and it sounds likely they would not know any +1 you might bring at all, nor would that person know anyone there, including the bride. The family has probably had to cut some people they do know well from their guest list for budget reasons, so it's a little unfair to expect them to tell you to invite a guest when they know you don't have a spouse or significant other.

I once traveled 10 hours to a wedding with another guest I'd never met who was coming from the same area and had a car (I don't). Maybe there is another guest coming from your area?

I had a wonderful weekend at that wedding--lots of other people at the dinner the night before and at my table for the reception didn't know everybody else there, and we all just introduced ourselves and got talking. We did all know either the bride or the groom, of course.

Go alone if you can't find another guest coming from where you are, enjoy the wedding and the reception, and view it as an opportunity to meet some new people with the same good taste in friends that you have.

Posted in error. -

[ In Reply To ..]
Responded to wrong poster.

be very gracious as you do not go - StillAnMT

[ In Reply To ..]
You do not need to drive 7 hours to be miserable. Send a nice gift. Or ask your good friend if you can bring a friend. are you the only good friend invited? If so, I say again you do not have to go. I have been single many years, and going into situations like that is very uncomfortable. A nice card with a gift would be appreciated. You would also have to get a hotel room and be alone the entire dang time.

Disagree - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
It is extremely bad to ask to bring someone with you, if a someone else wasn't invited. You put the person who did the inviting in a very uncomfortable position.

A way out of this would be to say you're not coming, as you are uncomfortable driving that distance by yourself, then walking into a situation where you don't know anyone. The ball would be in her court to try to squeeze another guest in for you, or give her regrets that you can't come.

To those who think it's okay to ask to invite a guest who weren't invited, weddings are not cheap, or there may be limited space, and the person getting married may or may not be the one paying. So, in essence, you are asking the bride or a family member to pay for your guest and putting them in a really bad spot. Yeeesh, doesn't get more tacky than that.

Money is not an issue. - OP

[ In Reply To ..]
I shouldn't even have bothered to write my question as I see the snark patrol is alive and well.

At any rate, money is not an issue with this family. The bride-to-be sent out high-end engagement announcements last fall, had a black tie engagement party last New Year's Eve, sent out pre-wedding invitation announcements this past spring (even had postage stamps made with her and her intended's names and "save the date") and now the formal invitation.

I do plan on attending and I don't mind driving by myself or even staying overnight in a hotel by myself. I was just wondering if other people had experienced this, if the new thing was just to invite a single person without offering that single to bring a plus one.

To the meanies out there, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Peace be with you.

Would Be Nice - But...

[ In Reply To ..]
Definitely tacky to ask if you could bring someone, as one poster suggested.

You may find you're not the only one in that situation. They may even set up the tables such that people who are from out of town and don't have a partner with them, can get to know one another.

So, you've made your decision to go, so if you've RSVP'd, you do have to go. I personally would not drive 7 hours to attend a wedding "alone." I myself would send a money gift or a wedding registry gift, and leave it at that.

No one was being...SM - Old Anon

[ In Reply To ..]
snarky. They were just stating the facts of the situation. These facts just weren't what you wanted to hear. You got some good advice regarding how to handle things. Please consider it.

Who Was Mean? - see msg

[ In Reply To ..]
We are agreeing that it would be nice to invite someone. Unfortunately, asking to bring someone is extremely tacky.

Semd a card and regrets. - No gift is necessary!

[ In Reply To ..]
she is not a relative. You'd spend a fortune in postage to even send the gift.

That is a LONG drive for ANYBODY's wedding whether you are with a friend or not!!

Truthfully? I would stay home. There might be (sm) - My 2 cents

[ In Reply To ..]
some very good reasons why they have to limit their guest list, but driving 7 hours and then to have no one there that you know sounds like torture to me. I would stay home and tell them the truth - I just don't feel comfortable driving all that way by myself, and leave it at that.

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