I have a friend who had a birthday \"dinner\" for her

20yo son.  I\'m not family or anything.  I know her from high school and we occasionally socialize.  She has these parties every year for him like he\'s still 5 years old.  My 19yo son attended these parties when both boys were kids, but refuses to go now because he said it is odd and the boy is odd because he\'s not embarrassed that \"his mommy is still throwing him birthday parties.\"  My son and my friend\'s son have never been good friends.  We live in two different towns, so they didn\'t go to school together and they never really gelled.  And truthfully my friend\'s son is an odd duck.  He has no friends, doesn\'t date, and spends all of his time hanging out with his mom and dad.  My friend still sends out pictures of him to all her friends like he\'s a child.  It\'s bizarre.

I too think it is strange to have a party inviting people outside of your family to come expecting them to give gifts.  I mean I still have cake and ice cream for my son and sometimes we have family birthday dinners that we invite the grandparents to, but that\'s basically it. 

This boy is 20 freaking years old!  His mom invited family, but she also invited a bunch of her friends and her husband\'s friends, who don\'t have kids that actually grew up with her son or even know her son.  She also actually told people when she invited them that money and gift cards would make great gifts!  Well, I decided since my son was not going to come with me to this party, I wasn\'t going to go.  So I called her up and told her I wasn\'t coming to which she said \"Oh that\'s okay, you can just mail him a card.  He\'s happy with just a gift card to Wal Mart.\"  I told her I was sending him a birthday card and ONLY a birthday card.  And she instantly got very snippy, saying \"Ohhhhkaaaay, I guess if that makes you feel good.\"  What the heck does that mean?  

Am I wrong here?  Does anyone else think first it is odd to have these birthday parties for your 20yo son and extremely rude to expect people to bring money or gift cards?  I think she should limit these birthday parties to family only.  Or maybe I\'m just being a bwitch.