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What is wrong with me?

Posted: May 12, 2015

I feel as if I am splintering in a million pieces. I am daily pulled in so many different directions. I am angry about everything and at everyone. My husband and young daughter suffer numerous health issues, and we do not know what hte future holds for her. Has to have testing to rule out all major organs of the body. My oldest daughter is going through a nasty divorce with a now drug abuser. He is making threats and spreading lies about everyone in the family. I hate my job, and cannot seem to focus enough to give it my all. I just ruminate all the other things going on. I am a regular church attender, loved my church and Pastor and church family, until we moved to another building, and then everything seemed to change. People are gossiping about one another, snubbing each other, arguing about hte way to do things. There is an elder in our church who is probably 35 years younger than me, and he is being very nasty to me, being rude, and/or totally ignoring me. I am about ready to confront him, but never get a chance to do it with others not around. I do not enjoy going to church anymore. I told my Pastor I am not attending church anymore, and he set up a time to speak with me about it in 5 days! Guess it is not an emergency. I just don't know what to do. I know I am depressed, but not suicidal or anything like that. I just feel very overwhelmed and extremely tired. My hours are erratic, and cannot sleep most nights. I just want it all to go away. Stressful situations just seem to never end. Get rid of one and get another. Any suggestions?

;

Falling apart - Gail

[ In Reply To ..]
I sympathize with you; seems like when it rains, it pours. Unburdening yourself by talking about it here, probably is the first step in dealing with some issues. If possible, maybe you could take a couple personal days and just get alone with God, reading some songs and listening to some praise and worship on You tube or CD, sensing his presence and casting your cares on Him. I'm not saying to be in denial or anything, but just give it to God. Try to hang on in the meantime until you get to talk to the pastor, or maybe there's a trusted friend you could confide in. I'll be praying for you too.

Splintered - life

[ In Reply To ..]
Sorry there is so much negativity happening in your life right now. First, find another church! Period! You will be welcome elsewhere, somewhere where you will receive spiritual support. Find within yourself the strength you need to help your family; try "centering" or "grounding" your spiritual self, take a couple of deep breaths, ask God for guidance and say the Lord's Prayer (Our Father) to yourself several times a day. If you can seek local counseling that is free of charge, do that, particularly where it concerns your oldest daughter. There is an old saying about matters like this ... ".. This too shall pass." Remember that. Try to smile and remember we are on this earth to "learn lessons;" hopefully good will come out of all this. With your spiritual self more or less being "splintered," it is no wonder you have trouble concentrating or caring about your work. Just take it day by day.

The responses here for you are really - noneya

[ In Reply To ..]
right on the money. Let go, let God. Run don't walk from that church. If the pastor doesn't have time to guide you, help you spiritually, find one that does. I just tried a new church and have found what I want to be part of. We all have pretty serious problems going on but, try to find someone you look up to talk to, or a counselor (that's what I did)and get it out there. I am also going to say a prayer for you. Take care.

THANKS - Me

[ In Reply To ..]
Thanks so much for all the support, kind words, and prayers. I am most anxious to see how tomorrow goes with meeting with my pastor. Again, thank you for all your help.

If the pastor doesn't have a concrete plan for stopping the sm - suggesting

[ In Reply To ..]
negative things happening, then I would set about finding a new church home the same day.

There are many churches who would welcome new members HAPPILY and not treat a member or a guest in the way you've been treated. Sometimes a church gets too big or goes in a direction where the congregants start feeling like it's okay to gossip or be nasty to others.

Also, regarding grounding. Go outside barefoot, feel the dirt under your feet...find a tree and HUG IT. I'm not trying to be funny---we humans lose touch with God's creations and sometimes we need to touch the things God made to come back to center again. Really, give it a try---the tree will love you for it!

Ask permission first, and check for bugs. - Tree Hugger

[ In Reply To ..]
Trees pull positive energy through their root systems. Visualize this energy flowing through the tree, into you, and pushing your stale energy out.

Big, solid trees are very stable and calming.

Remember to be polite and ask permission first. You are, after all, getting into the tree's personal space and using it as an energy conduit.

I would not want the trees I know to dread my approach. "Hey, Chuck! Here comes that grabby tree hugger again! You know, the one who steps on your exposed roots and leaves that perfume residue on your trunk?"

Hug the people you love - see msg

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm not against hugging trees as one poster suggested, but I gain more comfort from hugging the people I love. Hug your husband and your daughter with the health problems. It sounds like you are pushing everyone away because you are overwhelmed. Cry with them, laugh with them, show your love and you will get it back.

And for heaven's sake (no pun intended) get out of that hypocrite of a church you're in. Good grief. These are the type of people who think they can treat people horrible, then think that they belong to a church, they're good people. No, doesn't work that way.

Maybe attendance at any church isn't right for you right now. Too many personalities to deal with, even in the best of churches that don't harbor hypocrisy.

I would do as the one poster said and get your ministries through the TV, radio or You Tube. Seems impersonal, but it's what you make it. If you like gospel music, play that.

Above all, embrace those you love. I'm not talking the druggie daughter, I'm talking about the others who need you to be loving and caring--just focus on them, and you will reap the rewards.

And if you want to hug a tree, I don't know that you need the tree's permission, but if it's on someone else's property, do ask them.

Sorry, no - AM

[ In Reply To ..]
I love people, have a great family, many friends, and a church, but I am not a hugger, sorry.

To RS - Did you read the posts?

[ In Reply To ..]
As of this writing, it's been 1 week short of a month since you posted, and you never acknowledged that anyone wrote back. We take a lot of time and thought to support people here, and quite frequently nobody comes back to even let us know they saw our post. How do we know we aren't wasting our time?

OOOps. RS did something you don't like? - noneya

[ In Reply To ..]
I find it difficult to believe you come on here to support people and are wasting your time if a poster doesn't follow up with you? Wow... I come on here to vent. Sometimes I ask a question. Sometimes others will send an idea or two. I will always put in support where it is asked for or I believe needs it. That's what I do. Your expectations are no part of what I will and/or won't do in the future.

Not being mean - see msg

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm not trying to be mean. I just don't know if RS even read our notes. I'm not looking for a thanks or anything in return. I just wonder if the people who post needing support, read the notes of support. I hope so, because some really helpful things are said and may be of benefit to the OP (and other OPs) needing help.

Not being mean - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I believe OP said THANKS.

I guess I deserve everything said - RS

[ In Reply To ..]
But in all honesty, I have been experiencing computer problems, and was so obsessed with getting back to work, that I forgot about my post here. I am truly sorry I did not acknowledge any of you, and for all the advise you have given, I am truly grateful. I get so caught up in the day-to-day, and health issues of my hubby and daughter, that I just zombie through my days. As for church, I haven't been and don't know if I plan to go back, or go back just one more time to see if anything has changed. I made an appointment with my pastor, but had to cancel due to OT at work. Haven't rescheduled as he has been in and out of town lately (and the elder was preaching for him, so did not go), at conferences, vacation, family wedding, etc., and so I have procrastinated (as I do so often in everything), and haven't rescheduled yet. I feel stronger than I did when I wrote first, and I have tried to find outlets for myself (making crafts for friends, reading, and just watching the birds in my backyard), and so to all of you, I will be eternally grateful,and please accept my apologies for not responding sooner. HUGS to all of you!

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