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Seeking help/advice

Posted: Feb 11, 2014

Wanting to get married but have no money. Do not want to get married by a justice of the peace. Would like something cheap that is nice. Any thoughts?

We had a little bit of money saved up but fiance's ex wiped out that fund. She ran up a bunch of medical bills for their son and did not tell us. Fiance was served with court papers to pay half. Whoop, there went that $. Argh.

TIA

;

Further - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
I have never been married before. I have given up on the hope of elegant and now just looking at cheap, and trying how to figure out how to do that.
Gonna look for part-time job to try to get some extra money to help with the costs.

Ask family and friends if anyone they know is ordained... - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
My husband's childhood friend's father is a pastor and he married us. It was his first wedding. He did it for free. We were lucky that way. Ask around if anyone is ordained or legally able to marry you. My first marriage was done by a justice of the peace type person but she came out to the place where our wedding was. It doesn't have to be in a court house to be cheap. Try looking online for nice wedding under $ xxx and see what comes up. Good luck. Congrats!!

What's wrong with a justice of the - peace

[ In Reply To ..]
My husband and I went to the courthouse one day and got married by a judge. It was just the two of us and it was wonderful. It is something that belongs to only us and I wouldn't have it any other way. That was 14 years ago and I've never regretted it.

Beggars can't be choosers.

Married at a B&B - Nik

[ In Reply To ..]
We booked the honeymoon suite at a beautiful Victorian B&B and they let us get married in the front parlor for no extra charge. The owners stood up for as witnesses. We were married by a justice of the peace from the courthouse. I was (and still am) amazed by how personal it all was and DH had tears in his eyes during the ceremony. The JP was lovely. She personalized our vows somewhat (I wanted to be a married by clergy, but it wasn't to be) and she did say "GOd" a couple of times so I felt very happy and positive about the whole thing.

Funny story, your DH had tears during the ceremony - and mine was crying before

[ In Reply To ..]
So funny now. We went to Las Vegas. His first marriage, mine eh not. We were supposed to get married at one of the hotels there (they have all size chapels to small to large) and we had decided on the date, etc. He wanted just the 2 of us there, no witnesses, no extra people. The day we were supposed to be married and what is on the marriage certificate we got was 1 day earlier than we actually did because the day of the marriage he was bawling like a big overgrown baby. That was over 10 years ago now and I think he thought was losing his freedom. He was 49 then, and his family surprised he got married at all. Our marriage is wonderful, could not be better but he still tells me he thought we were just going to Las Vegas for the buffets. Surprise!

My husband... - Ohmy

[ In Reply To ..]
Got an erection during our civil ceremony at the courthouse and he insists the judge could see it. He just LOVES to tell that story to anyone!

Your husband sounds sweet and funny - Nik

[ In Reply To ..]
Loved the part about just going for the buffets! It's funny but sometimes the "manliest" men are truly just the most emotional at heart.

Obviously, she must want something religious - Nothing wrong with that

[ In Reply To ..]
To OP: I agree with poster who said check around and see if someone you know knows someone who is ordained. You could also call local pastors, reverends, priests, whatever your preference, in your area. If they don't charge a fee, a donation to their preferred church would be in order.

Good luck!

Depending on where you live, there are possibilities. - SM

[ In Reply To ..]
When do you want to do this?

Is the weather a difficulty for the time you would like?

Are there any really nice parks or botanical garden, or conservatory type places around where you live? What about older, Victorian type homes where you could ask the owner if you could use (for minimal fee) their parlor? I do like the B&B idea as mentioned below. What could be particularly interesting, if you were into that, is if the place has historical (haunted) background.

Any type of scenic areas that are public where you could go with an ordained minister? Maybe just to be on the grounds and not have to rent space?

Look what's around town and available as public property or lands. A park by a river, with willow trees? (That's how my senior pictures were done many years ago, in that exact kind of setting; a local park, by the river, and huge willows over the water that I was cajoled into climbing up into. All for free by a family friend photographer)

Either of you have a specific hobby or activity you like, that you could use as an idea for a setting or theme?

I'm lucky, living in a nice sized city of about 200K population, so lots of ideas around here. You know your location, look around and see what the possibilities are.

How about even in your own home, with a small budget for decorations and one particularly special part?

Even someone's farm, if it's a nice property, if they have a beautiful flower garden? Or even in a nice pasture of prairie flowers or land.

This all depends on what your interests are, of what possibilities may be available.

Some sort of local concert or event you might like to attend; have a small, tactful ceremony at some point during the event?

Without knowing anything else, it's hard to do more than these vague suggestions. Maybe even taking yourselves for a drive along a lake shore, a beach, somewhere nice and make your promises to each other privately so it means something special to you, then go have it quick and legal at the courthouse later on.

If you really want this done, married so it's legal, and you have no money, you haven't much of a choice but JP at the courthouse type of thing.

We had an ordained minister who was a friend, - married us on the beach

[ In Reply To ..]
with 1 friend as a witness. :) It was romantic! Afterwards, we went to dinner.

That is my idea of the perfect wedding! - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
:)

Depending on where you live - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I live in Colorado and our state law allowed us to marry ourselves. We did it at a local park. You might google to see if you can self solemnize in your state.

Some companies donate for exposure - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I have seen over the last couple of years companies will donate the dresses, tux, cake, rings and even honeymoon for free exposure and publicity. One of our local news channels arranged to have a couple get married in a castle on V. Day with all the trimmings and it won't cost the couple a dime. The economy is very lean right now so spending thousands on a wedding isn't a priority for many people. It makes a company look good by donating what a couple needs to make it a special day. It makes them look charitable, and they get free media exposure, it's a win win. Since this is your first wedding it would be nice to have what you want, or at least close to it. Below is a link that may have some advice for you. Let us know how it goes. My husband and I have been married now for 35 years, and we love each other more now than we did then. We have never called each other names, or even told each other to shut up. I wish for you that same happiness. God bless.

http://www.socialsguide.com/prizes-donations.php

try a crowdfunding website - to raise money

[ In Reply To ..]
I posted a link to list of sites. I had good success on Indiegogo.

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