A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

Attention-seeking mother-in-law

Posted: Sep 22, 2013

So, my MIL is 100% in her right mind and she is VERY attention-seeking lately. She has always been one to like to keep the pot stirred and get attention that way as well. She has a few medical problems, including a seizure disorder and she is always really good about taking her meds and such. Well, lately, her new thing is when someone doesn't jump for her the minute she says jump she threatens to stop taking her meds. She says there is no reason to take them anymore since people do this or that to her, it's always about HER. When she threatens to stop taking meds, then of course everyone in the family have to call or go see her and tell her she MUST take her meds, etc. Friday, she asked me to take her to the grocery store and I told her I had a few hours of work left and THEN I would be happy to do so. Because I didn't jump right then, she made the statement of not taking her meds anymore. I said to her......."Well, you are an adult, really that's your choice if you don't feel you need them anymore" and OMG the ENTIRE family (other than my husband) is mad at me now. Really though, I don't feel any of them should be contributing to her nonsense and I just don't want to take part. She is a grown woman, 100% in her right mind and she knows she needs those meds. If she doesn't want them, then fine, whatever, but that's not going to get me to the grocery store any faster. Do you agree with me, or am I just a mean woman myself?

;

Nope she's manipulating you... - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
Next time suggest she call another family member because you just can't do it right away. If they want to cater to her threats then let them had her manipulations. Otherwise if you're not really afraid of the family's repercussions, and you might bring this up first, tell her if she continues to threaten not to take her meds then her doctor needs to be made aware of this and DO IT. Could be someone (her doc) won't be interested in her fits and will put her need to take her meds BLUNTLY to her.

Mine's not a MIL, it's my mother. Every day something hurts, something's not right - I swear a hangnail is a terminal illness. I finally told her the other night if she gets "like this gain" - can't breath (her as a pulse ox monitor and I'll see the read out) or her blood pressure is too high or too low (and she has a cuff and I've seen the readings, she won't wear her oxygen, only carries it - dumb if you oxygen is low wear the thing!! I finally told her next time it became a pity me session for attention and she was really that bad that I was calling an ambulance!! Not put up or shut up. She's always been a hypochondriac and LOVES to see the doc and get new pills after new pills with her poor me presentation. She has 3 benzos, Tylenol 3, cholesterol meds, bp meds, Xanax prn, plays with be BP meds and has even fallen twice. She CRAVES attention and has always been nacissistic. The threat to call an ambulance has quieted her down for the last two weeks - ah, peace!!

My mom is the same way, except threatening to - call the ambulance will not work

[ In Reply To ..]
She actually *wants* us to call the ambulance, or wants us to take her to the ER. When she gets to the ER, they take all her vitals and tell her she's fine, then she gets mad at the doctors, like she has such an unusual/sophisticated disease that they can't even figure out what's wrong with her. And they're all jerks and idiots. Both of my parents are on a fixed income, and she spends so much money going to the ER and doctors' appointments, my poor dad is now trying to go back to work after being retired for years. The ironic thing is, HE is the one with all the real health problems.

I am the opposite - mom

[ In Reply To ..]
I stay out of my grown kids marriages unless they need my help. If I am in pain or need money I keep it to myself. Yes, I secretly wish I wasn't so silent, but I think that behavior is so needy me me meee-ish!

My MIL does the same thing! - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Mine was with eating and not because she wasn't getting her way, just trying to get attention. She would call up various family members and mention how she hadn't eaten anything all day, they would tell her how she knows she should eat and family members would actually bring her food that they cooked. It's sad in a way, because obviously she just wants the company, but on the other hand, we have a big family and family does visit often and to manipulate people into coming over isn't a great thing.

She brought up to me ONE TIME about how all she had eaten was a few grapes and an apple that day or something like that. This lady is a morbidly obese woman, so I really, really doubt she has even skipped any meals, but when she told me she wasn't eating, I told her that may be a good thing, losing weight could help with her diabetes and her blood pressure. She never mentioned to me again about skipping meals once she saw no attention would be given on my end.

You were right. - xx

[ In Reply To ..]
You and your husband appear to be the only members of that family with any common sense or backbone.

You did absolutely the right thing. Your MIL is a self-absorbed diva. Call her bluff when she pulls that nonsense and don't let her control you, which is what she wants to do.

You offered a perfectly reasonable compromise that would give her what she needed while allowing you to accomplish what you needed to do. She wasn't happy because she was not able to control you by inconveniencing you or forcing you to change your schedule to accommodate her. Let the rest of the family throw their lives away catering to her if they want to but don't be guilted into following suit.

Wish I had my mom or MIL. - Beth

[ In Reply To ..]
Seems she has a void needs filling. I hope I go out quickly. Would have to not be able to do for myself and be dependent on people waiting for me die.

it doesn't sound like anyone is waiting for MIL to die - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I don't think that's what the OP is saying at all.

The OP's not waiting for her to die. - Ally

[ In Reply To ..]
I don't think the OP minded her MIL asking her to do something. I think what she minded was the MIL threatening to not take meds that she needs, because the OP being able to help her MIL after the OP was done working wasn't good or fast enough.

I have an MIL that does the same thing. She lives with us, we help her. I don't mind helping her. I don't want her to die. I'm not waiting for her to die. Considering she's 65, I hope she's around for another 30+ years.

I just don't appreciate working and my MIL saying to her son that we don't care about her, and she will just pack up and put her dogs in the car and move, because we couldn't do something right at that moment.

Again, though, I hope she lives at least another 30 years. I'm sure the OP wants her MIL to have a nice long life too.

I have the same MIL - Sweets

[ In Reply To ..]
I have a MIL very similar to this. She is 78 years old now, but for the last 35 years that I have been married to her son, she has been the center of her world and no one is allowed to occupy center stage. The current drama is over her fourth great-grandson who was born three weeks ago. She has still not seen the baby and is currently telling everyone that the baby's parents never come see her, no one ever comes to see her, that her four kids and multitudes of grand kids never come to see her.

This is the true story: This new baby was born via IVF to my nephew's wife who has endured two rounds of treatment of cancer with grueling chemo. The baby has jaundice and is not nursing well and the parents are sleep deprived. Plus they are moving into a new place. They unfortunately have not felt like showing the baby off to anyone! The baby's grandma (my sister in law) arranged for a dinner so great grandma could come to my SIL house and see the baby. Not good enough! My MIL refused to come. She wants them to bring the baby to her.

I wish I could say that the grand kids come to see my MIL often. They don't. They just do not want to deal with their grandmother. She says anything she wants and gives no thought to hurt feelings. My niece got married this past summer and refused to even invite her grandmother. I did not agree with this, but the last time my niece saw her grandmother, this is what happened: my niece was complaining about her mother's new boyfriend (parents are divorced). My MIL said, "Well, you know your mother is just a whore." This upset my niece so much that she left and has never spoke to her grandmother since then. I thought she should have invited her grandmother to the wedding, but my niece flatly refused. My MIL was deeply hurt, but she just could not understand why her granddaughter got so mad at her! When I tried to tell her that you cannot call someone's mother a whore, she began to cry and yell at me.

However, I have learned to just shut her down. If visiting in person, I get ready to leave and just tell her that she needs to calm down or I will have to go home. Generally, she will calm down. It's all drama and attention seeking. Not sure why though because she is an attractive woman still and very active physically. She does not treat friends this way - only family. Unfortunately, the grand kids and great grand kids do not want to deal with this behavior and avoid my MIL.

Difficult Mom's and MILs - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
Unfortunately this has become very common. It's truly, truly sad. My children adored my mother growing. Now my oldest is in college and as expected is very busy. He stopped by to go to lunch with me the other day and mom lives right next door. He did stop over to talk to her as well, but "uh, only for a few minutes". She'll drive 45 min to see my sister's kids so she's not an invalid. Here's an idea if you want to see him makes plan with him. My daughter worn a "modern" ripped shirt the other day - two tank tops underneath, nice jeans, but the reply was "she can at least clean up if she plans on being seen with me - the kid's 12 and this IS the fashion. I loudly told my daughter she looked great! It's a constant barrage of "no one helps me". Truthfully when my sister married I divorced myself from my surrogate husband role and whadda ya know, new BIL won't help her either. He has 2 small children, works over 40 hours a week and she's 45 minutes away. She has NO friends - she doesn't like woman. She won't date and hasn't since my dad died when she was 48 - she hates men too. Anymore on the rare occasions I choose to go with her somewhere kids with us or not I have a completely blunt conversation about "we are going to get along, RIGHT!?!!" Otherwise I won't go. My Bday is coming up. I plan is to have my son and daughter go to lunch with me and that's it. My sister is as bad, very superior and condescending. It's my Bday and I refuse to be miserable. Mother's day was shot to h*^* over her dramatics and need for the whole day about her. I've finally decided I will see her only if things go well otherwise I'm gone and no more family holidays unless they're short. IF she asks why I've tell her but I doubt if she'll come out of her narcissism long enough to acknowledge she's ever done anything offensive or just plain wrong. I don't wish her to die, like the other poster's stated, I've just decided that for the remainder of her time her I'm going to have some peace!

I think what you said was good. No one else - had the nerve to say it,

[ In Reply To ..]
but I think you did your MIL and entire family a favor by calling her out.

ADDING: As long as your MIL is sound of mind enough to know that she SHOULD be taking her meds. If she has dementia or something, I absolutely would not encourage you to leave it up to her decision. :)

MIL - Kathie

[ In Reply To ..]
Gosh, your MIL is a classic manipulator! I can't believe the rest of the family don't see through her like you do. My MIL is also a piece of work, believe me. Don't even get me started . . .

Similar Messages:

Jan 16, 2016
Everyone receives a basic income---discussion pros and cons. http://onpoint.wbur.org/2016/01/14/universal-basic-income-government-welfare ...

Nov 09, 2010
My normally well-behaved 4-year-old takes a martial arts class. For months, the instructors have been allowing him to act like a monster. I have asked them time and time again to please not allow him to act up, only to be met with, "He's only 4. You expect too much. He is just being a little kid." I usually sit and watch to keep him manageable, at least. The instructor's 15-year-old son also helps teach the class and he play fights with my son, allowing my son t ...

Feb 11, 2014
Wanting to get married but have no money. Do not want to get married by a justice of the peace. Would like something cheap that is nice. Any thoughts? We had a little bit of money saved up but fiance's ex wiped out that fund. She ran up a bunch of medical bills for their son and did not tell us. Fiance was served with court papers to pay half. Whoop, there went that $. Argh. TIA ...

Mar 06, 2013
I would like to know if anyone has a delicious recipe that uses curry paste? I have yellow, red, and green curry paste. I make the basic veggies and curry with coconut milk, but I would like to know if anyone has tried integrating curry paste in other recipes? Thanks for your help, I appreciate it! ...

Feb 17, 2016
After almost 30 years of MTing, I want out. Making my state's min wage and taking care of an elderly parent on said min wage is a struggle. A few better-paying office opportunities have popped up locally, but I don't even apply because I think of what *could* go wrong. A page position in a library: What if I have to toss out a homeless or mentally unstable person because of patron complaints? The guilt would haunt me. A front desk position at a community mental health clinic: What if t ...

Dec 26, 2009
Just curious the best places to search other than nolo.com, google, etc. I am trying to learn as much as possible about "opposing counsel," right down to politics, , you name it. I've found a couple things so far. Personally, this lawyer has been a rotten egg from day one re my divorce. Thanks a million (which we'll never get paid)! PS: Another thing I've notices is not getting replies to my posts (yes, the box is checked). The only one was that con artist fo ...

Mar 23, 2010
nm ...

Dec 10, 2010
All she wants are gift cards and money, but I would like to have a small gift for her to actually open. Any ideas what a 13-year-old might like (or tolerate?) ...

Jun 24, 2011
This social degenerate is the biggest threat to freedom since Stalin. http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2011/jun/23/section-527-works-to-seat-liberals-as-election-ove/?page=all#pagebreak Soros and liberal groups seeking top election posts in battleground states A small tax-exempt political group with ties to wealthy liberals like billionaire financier George Soros has quietly helped elect 11 reform-minded progressive Democrats as secretaries of state to oversee th ...

Sep 03, 2013
EDITORIAL Debating the Case for Force By THE EDITORIAL BOARD Published: September 2, 2013 548 Comments FACEBOOK TWITTER GOOGLE+ SAVE E-MAIL SHARE PRINT REPRINTS President Obama made the right decision to seek Congressional authorization for his announced plan to order unilateral military strikes against Syria for using chemical weapons. There has to be a vigorous and honest public debate on the use of military force, which could have huge c ...

Mar 31, 2015
"Congress should support the reauthorization of the Ryan White Care Act only after completion of an audit to ensure that federal dollars were no longer being given to organizations that celebrate and encourage the types of behaviors that facilitate the spreading of the HIV virus. Resources should be directed toward those institutions which provide assistance to those seeking to change their sexual behavior" http://web.archive.org/web/20010519165033fw_/http://cybertext.net/pence/issues.html Loo ...

Mar 05, 2011
I have found a website where you can get photos printed in a zillion sizes.... 2x2, 3x3, 4x4, plus the common sizes 4x6 and a lot more. I have searched everywhere for 3.5x5, and 4x4 reprints and this is the place to order them! This is so great when needing a specific size photo for a scrapbook page or any time you need a different size for a special project. There are many available finishes, color correction, special photo editing, etc. The s ...

Aug 10, 2010
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life, or a single cubit to his height? And why do you worry about clothes? See how th ...

Nov 05, 2013
I was wondering for those MTs who are in their late 50s, 60s and beyond, how much do you work a day/week? Are you able to work full-time sitting at a desk, or have you cut back on your work (not to include waiting for work or NJA for those that have this problem.) I am just wondering as I notice so many more aches and pains and am thinking to cut back on hours, workload, etc. I mean how long can you keep up this pace of transcribing for hours and what toll has it taken on ...

Feb 14, 2012
. ...

Mar 26, 2010
Senator Scott Brown (R) of MA would like you to send him donations so he can successfully run against MSNBC's Rachel Maddow (who is not running for any kind of office). Scott Brown's plea for money: Friends, It’s only been a couple of months since I’ve been in office, and before I’ve even settled into my new job, the political machine in Massachusetts is looking for someone to run against me. And you’re not going to believe who they are ...

Apr 08, 2010
I just found out about this Very Scary website. Go to spokeo.com and enter your name and see what it says about you. You can delete yourself by clicking on privacy and following the directions. ...

Jun 21, 2012
King Grover Norquist has arrived to issue you his commands!!!! ...

Aug 19, 2016
Your president just got proven again to be a complete liar. He lied to all Americans that $400 million was not a ransom payout and yet the state department confirms that the money was held until the release of hostages. How in the heck is this not ransom? Simply because Obama said so? Honestly, are you that brainwashed that someone can tell you a complete lie then have that lie be exposed for all to see, and you will still accept his word as truth? Oh, and that little bit of rain in Louisiana? H ...

Oct 20, 2014
Was just talking with my friend tonight. I have known as she has also for years that her 1st grader was not 100% "right," something was off with him. Tonight she tells me someone is finally maybe listening to her about him. He is in his own little world. I do not think autism because of the fact he will halfway interact "sometimes," does not reject a hug or kiss and maybe I am wrong but I thought autistic children were like that. I could be wrong. His teacher is every day trying to tell the moth ...

Mar 20, 2010
http://www.coffeepartyusa.com/ ...

Apr 01, 2010
http://vimeo.com/8889707 ...

Jun 17, 2011
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110617/bs_nm/us_imf ...

Nov 02, 2012
I've been watching video on national security and debt, part of the Strengthening America -- Our Children's Future. Very interesting. If you have the time, watch each one on this site. If you don't, download the PDF transcript on the right side. The various videos were seen on CSpan, where they originated. There are loads of video and audio tapes. When you have times on your hands, look and listen to others. I plan to do that. The Steering Committee for Strengthening of Am ...

Jan 24, 2013
I wrote an email to a female product place the other day, would name the product but not sure if I can here. This ad is playing on TV like asking if during my period I would smell and another one I saw the person was saying something to the fact if she went swimming, could shark smell her and I am saying WHAT? I have countless years behind me, work in a profession that almost anything goes as far as what you hear but I sure do not want to hear about whether a women smells or not during her perio ...

Apr 05, 2011
There is a bill in North Carolina being voted on sometime today to criminalize natural medicine. If this is important to you, call and oppose! See link below for details and phone numbers. "NC bill threatens to criminalize naturopaths, homeopaths, herbalists, midwives, aromatherapists as felons" "And even if you do not live in North Carolina, you can still help oppose the bill by calling and expressing opposition." ...

May 08, 2010
I'll just be excited if one of my boys will go to Mass with me! Or maybe mow the yard! Seriously, I'm just grateful all three of my kids are happy and healthy and well adjusted. I'll miss my daughter because she is away at college but I know I'll see her soon (with tons of laundry in tow!). Hope everyone has a blessed day. ...

May 31, 2010
Long story short, I have not spoken to my mother in law for about a year now. We have some issues that my husband and I have tried to sit down and get resolved with her, but she does not want to get anything resolved, she just wants to fight with me. A few days ago, about a week after my birthday, I got a card in the mail with a check in it. I do not want this and am going to send it back to her because why would I want money from someone who does not want to resolve anything with me, only wants ...

Jun 09, 2011
I am asking for prayer for my mother, Deanne. She has been suffering from spinal stenosis, ankle replacement problems, and now knee problems. She uses a wheelchair to get around for most things and the other day I'm not even exactly sure what happened but she stood up and her knee gave way. She has been unable to bear weight on it ever since. She is seeing a specialist this afternoon and I am just asking for prayers that this specialist will know how to treat her.&nb ...

Feb 24, 2010
I am submitting a prayer request for my sick mother-in-law. She has only had one kidney for many years now. Recently, she was taken to the hospital to have a large kidney stone removed. (It required surger.) Her kidney functionality went from 30%to 10% in one week. I believe she will have to start immediate dialysis. I am worried and sad. I am praying that her functionality will come back. The doctors were hoping for that. She is the grandmother of my daughters, and I do not want anything to go ...