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Life Love Regret Anger
Posted: Jul 13, 2010
Almost 20 years ago I was in a serious relationship with a real "catch". This guy is beautiful, physically and his heart too. He was self-employed, had a huge house, a boat, was independently well to do. We dated for a looonggg time, 8+ months. He was great with my kids, he met my family, I met his and everything was great. He talked marriage, love, houses, life together, adopting (a child together as I cannot have anymore), said all the right things all the right ways. Took us places, long weekends, traveling... Then completely out of the blue, no warning signs whatsoever, he disappeared for about a month and a half. All his family would say is that he was dealing with some "internal demons" and went to visit family out of town because he suddenly was thinking a lot about dying and wanting to see family before that happened. (!?!?!?)
I was at the mall when I ran into him. He seemed uncomfortable and said he was sorry and wanted to get together to explain so we made arrangements. He blew me off, so I just felt the unsaid things was that he had broke it off with me and that was that. I was heartbroken. 3 years later I meet another man and we got married really quick, after only 6 months and have been together 12 years now.
Once again, out of the blue Mr. Almost was and I ran into each other and talk about WEIRD! He begged me to call him, was crying in public and making a scene about how sorry he was and that he needed to explain. I told him there was nothing I needed to hear and walked away with him yelling in the background that he loved me! (frightening!)
That was weeks ago, and I CANNOT get it out of my head. It's like a part of me really wants to hear what he has to say, yet a bigger part of me is devoted to the man I married and respectful and grateful for what we have.
Can anyone explain this morbid curiosity? I feel a little melancholy about it. (But at the same time and sooo very thankful that he doesn't know my married name and cannot contact me!) What's wrong here???
NO: I don't want to pursue a relationship with him! I love my husband. He's great to me and my family.
;
re: Life and Love - nm
[ In Reply To ..]I don't think anything is wrong with you. The way he just up and left probably left a lot of unanswered questions. It's been a long time, but he was way out of line acting the way he did. My husband calls that "too little too late".
It just probably brought up questions in you, unresolved feelings, but just let it go. You did absolutely the right thing. Stay strong and don't give in to the temptation to find out what he wants to say! That way you keep your "great man".
Rekindling even a conversation with this person could put you in jeopardy, you seem weak when it comes to him, so could falter and become involved in an affair. Remember, HE DUMPED YOU without explanation! Don't go there.
This is what I think - ctrl alt delete
[ In Reply To ..]" Fools rush in where fools have been before"
Tread carefully, sounds like trouble brewing here.
My take is that you need some closure from this man... - ndmt
[ In Reply To ..]and that is why you cannot get it out of your mind. It is perfectly normal to wonder what happened, but there is something about his odd behavior at your last meeting that makes me think maybe he is better a memory.
Where's your head at - sl
[ In Reply To ..]I bet you could extinguish those burning questions by telling your husband about your run in with "Mr. Almost was". He'd probably talk some sense into you about this right quick.
Did Mr. Oh so wonderful ever in your years prior to meeting your man try to contact you? I doubt it. Now he sees you, you probably look great, probably look happy, probably wear a ring and he's all about wanting to talk? I think he wants more than conversation at this point.
REGRETS - Silly Rabbit
[ In Reply To ..]The only thing you missed out on when you missed out on Mr. 'Real Catch' is a virtual and possibly actual life in hell. That man sounds crazy, delusional and like he has Rip-Van-Winkle lapses of time and memory. He only wants what he cannot and is not supposed to have.
You know you don't want to be bothered with him. The 'morbid curiousity' probably stems from the satisfaction you got from seeing him publicly repent and humiliate himself for the way he treated you.
Unless you are his paid psychiatrist, whatever 'part of you' wants to hear what he has to say needs to realize he actually wants to hurt you again for whatever his bizarre psychotic reasons are.
He sounds crazy - Stay clear
[ In Reply To ..]Sounds like he has a lot of problems that you don't need, and it sounds like he has the yo-yo syndrome. Push em away and pull em back. Forget him and be thankful to God that you married a good man who truly knows how to treat you and your family. This story has bad news written all over it.
I think you are just experiencing - the what if syndrome
[ In Reply To ..]count your blessings and be thankful and grateful for what you have.
The story raises a huge red flag for me!
OP - Just a gal
[ In Reply To ..]I knew I could count on the support of others here on this board.
THANK YOU for keeping me grounded. I'm going to let it go, leave it alone and continue with my fabulous life with my wonderful man.
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