A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

It's a new year and I just want to cry...

Posted: Jan 1, 2015

I'm the parent of a toddler, no other kids. I'm 42 and she just turned 3. My husband is at home too, but he is disabled from physical issues as well as mental ones. I was a stay-at-home transcriptionist way before I became a mother and I am overwhelmed with it all.

My husband is there for us maybe 50% of the time, which just isn't cutting it. He is my only source of support, as we have no family, no friends (thank you isolating career move), and we just can't afford to hire any help, as baby sitters and mother's helpers are looking for $11/hour or more! I'm lucky if I make that myself!

As you all well know, distractions are production killers. When I don't produce the lines, not only does my paycheck suffer, but my employer has to have a talk with me, as I am an employee who has to work a set shift and also gets insurance through them, so I have to meet their requirements.

This stress, these constant interruptions, my husband constantly in bed because of whatever the issue du-jour is, is leaving me in tears some days. The days when he decides to pull his head out of his sphincter are great...I thrive, kid thrives, he's happy, and we are all happy. But the days he can't or won't get out of bed are just killing me, physically, emotionally, and financially.

I don't know what else to do except vent here in the hopes that it makes me feel better or someone in a similar situation can offer advice.

I used to work nights to help offset the lack of childcare support, but that gets taken advantage of too and I got no sleep and was literally suicidal and a complete wreck.

I live very rural and there are NO job opportunities here without some major commute time and I know for a fact daycare would eat up nearly everything I would be qualified for pay wise. I think this fact alone, this fact that I know I'm kind of locked into this situation, is freaking me out too.

Crap. This was supposed to be a good year...and it was up until my husband said the bank account is at 0 and I THOUGHT we had been living lean. Printed out my year's paystubs and it really hit me hard that I made just a few dollars over $20,000 for the year, and I KNOW I am capable of so much more but I need help with the kid!

I think I'm going to barf.

;

Facebook is a great source of support - East MT

[ In Reply To ..]
Try searching for at home mom groups in your city. You NEED to get out. It sounds like you are dangerously close to being depressed. Being isolated with a child and an apathetic husband is a dangerous combination. If this doesn't help consider searching for a mental health clinic in your area that operates on a sliding scale or even free. For the sake of your child you need to talk to someone, even if it is just a group of moms on Facebook. This is serious. Depression kills. Good luck and keep us posted.

Be sure when filing taxes you go for the earned income credit (sm) - nobody

[ In Reply To ..]
If you qualify, it may be large enough to put in a separate account and pay for daycare for the whole year.

new year and want to cry - gail

[ In Reply To ..]
Hi, I had a situation where I had health problems and was having a hard time adhering to a set schedule. My supervisor was willing to work with me and offered me a 12-hour window or change in shift, and I opted for the change in shift. Did your supervisor bring this up? I know it must be tough trying to work with a toddler and issues with your husband. I had my daughter when I was 41, and sometimes I wonder how mothers with young children can manage. It seemed a few years back employers were more understanding of this and allowed more flexibility, but I know it's hard to find a company like that now. As far as social life and getting out of the house, maybe you could join the Y (they have scholarship programs) and some offer free babysitting. I think some of the other suggestions posted on here were good too. I don't know if you're a church goer, but that might be another option, a lot of them have nurseries and toddlers groups and even a place where you can sit and have a coffee and socialize.

I know this can be isolating. It's a good thing you reached out here. I think a lot of MTs feel like you often times. You're not alone though. Best wishes and Happy New Year to you.

Maybe you can find some help here - there are links to

[ In Reply To ..]
federal programs as well as charitable organizations. Also check your state and local programs. Good luck to you.

Similar situation. Im 40 with a disabled husband. - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
We've been married 10 years, but together for 23 years. Kids are grown-up and out of the house. I had my first at 17 years old. So the up-side is that I don't have toddlers to care for.

I feel like I'm having a mid-life crisis and I thought that didn't happen until late 40s early 50s. We had to downsize to a 1 bedroom apartment from our 3 story townhouse with a finished basement just to be able to afford to live after I lost my good-paying job at the hospital due to outsourcing. That was 3 years ago luckily by that time the kids were all out on their own.

I don't even know how to feel when I look at my life sometimes. How do you go from being established to basically starting all over again? If it weren't for us having such a good landlord, I would probably fear eviction because we have had our fair share of times where we were late on the rent.

I am going to be started back to school here shortly (hopefully and prayerfully) and I say that because I have never seen anyone with luck like mine. I pray to God nothing happens to get in the way of that and that it goes smoothly because honestly for the last past year of my life it has been one thing right after another.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm from another planet; how could anyone have as much misfortune as I have had?? Trust me it goes a lot deeper than what I am posting here, but if I took the time to tell everything, it would be a novel and we'd still be sitting here this time tomorrow reading.

Anyway. I have suffered through depression for many years. Long before I lost my job to outsourcing. I was diagnosed with depression at around age 23, had my first major anxiety attack around age 27 and have been on and off antidepressants and antianxiety medications every since. I take myself off them and when I feel myself getting bad again I start back taking them. Right now I am out of my antidepressants because of the holiday the particular pharmacy I use closed yesterday at noon...Gee, the one time I feel I really need to take my medicine and I cant even go get it. I usually have extra since I have a tendency to quit taking it from time to time, but I even ran out of the extra...LOL, not funny so not sure what I'm laughing at, but I do have my anxiety medication so at least I don't have to worry about having a panic attack.

Sorry to ramble, but I just wanted to respond and let you know I'm suffering too. I slept right through New Year's. I usually try to stay up, but fell asleep at 6:30 pm yesterday and when I woke-up it was 5 am this morning. I hope it gets better for the both of us much sooner than later.

Ideas... - MT

[ In Reply To ..]
Does your husband get Social Security? If so, you and your daughter should also be able to get a benefit in addition to his disability. If you don't have more than the allotted assets/income, you could possibly ALSO get Social Security Supplemental Income. Have you checked with your county social services to find out if they have daycare assistance programs? Some do. Some daycare centers also offer scholarship programs (especially if they offer preschool).

Oh my gosh, thank you all so, so much for your supportive words! - ETOHPRN

[ In Reply To ..]
Now I want to cry from such kind words of advice, and I want to hug others who are going through similar situations.

Today is a new day. It is already better than yesterday. I got several WONDERFUL e-mails from people here with some advice that I will try on the "bad" days, which, in the grand scheme are not really that bad, just challenging. Thank you for sharing your tips and tricks with me!

My husband and I sat down last night over a nice stick-to-your ribs comfort food dinner, which we both helped to prepare and that is HIGHLY unusual. So, I think he knew I needed to talk and I/we did. Hard to talk about this stuff with our daughter right there, as I don't want her to know anything about our issues at this point in her life. It was completely civil, I didn't have a breakdown, and it went surprisingly well.

Ended a very long and exhausting day with clean laundry, clean sheets, and we all went to bed happy and content with our bellies full and our minds somewhat clear.

I got up for my crazy early shift to find that he was already up, and he was up almost all night crunching numbers and formulating a budget...something I could never do because I suck at math and I get so overwhelmed at bills that I literally get shaky and nauseated.

He had it all printed out on a spreadsheet, had credit cards in an envelope saying "retired" on it, and told me to lock them up. He said if we follow this budget to the letter, we will be out of debt by July 2015, mortgage paid off in 8 years, and we can swing the Pre-K program next year as they will accept monthly payments.

Our beyond piddly savings got decimated by his illnesses and the pregnancy, all uninsured, but so long as I don't lose my job (fingers, toes, and eyes crossed that never happens!), we may just be able to dig out of this and that gives me hope and having hope makes me happy.

In our line of work, we hear about people in awful situations, making impossible choices, or not making it at all. I have to remember that things could be so much worse...so, so, so much worse.

Thank you all again so much for lending me your ears, your experiences, and your advice. I really, truly appreciate it. :)

You can do this! - Mary

[ In Reply To ..]
Woman, it sounds to me like you are on the right track, and that at least for right now, your husband has all his ducks in a row. Working together as a team, you can get on top of things and in no time at all, you'll be out of debt and enjoying the fruits of your labor. Your little girl is growing up so fast. Don't hesitate to let her go to day care if a program does open up that you can afford or receive financial assistance to cover that expense. You need uninterrupted, stressless time to do your work, as you are earning an income for the family!

Last thing I wanted to mention, I know what you mean by the oxytocin flood of hormones we got from breastfeeding. The closest thing to that I have ever found that is the good chemical rush I get from exercise. Even if it is just for a 10-minute brisk walk, try to get outside in the sun every day, and sometimes take your daughter alongside you. Once you get used to exercise, start pushing yourself a little harder every other day. Before you know it, you'll feel soooooo much better. Keep us updated on how you are feeling. We are all here for you. Big hugs!

Support - see msg

[ In Reply To ..]
It's sad that your husband's situation happened after you had your child---at least I'm assuming that, because you sound smart enough to know that having a child and disabled husband at the same time gets a no when you have to work!

I'm thinking maybe trying to "get out there" more, so you don't feel isolated. A 3-year-old needs close supervision, but they don't fall a lot and get into bad situations like toddlers (ages 1-2), so I'm wondering--can't your husband supervise? I guess it depends on his mental disability. If he's violent, angry, hallucinating, etc., he won't be able to do that. But if it's a case of depression, that wouldn't be a danger to the child, provided he pays attention.

Best of luck to you. I would not want to be a working mom period, let alone have a disabled husband to boot.

Your "handle" name is interesting: ETOHPRN. LOL, I think we're talking EtOH p.r.n., so I hope it's when the kid is sleeping.

Best of luck!

Saw it on a license plate and it made me laugh :) - ETOHPRN

[ In Reply To ..]
That's where my handle came from. I'm dry and have been since I found out I was pregnant and don't miss it one bit. :) I do miss that oxytocin though...does that come in a pill? Was never so happy or content while pregnant or breastfeeding. Now all those lovely hormones are gone and I'm back to running between hot and cold with my emotions.

My husband does supervise and is awesome about playing with her and keeping up with her ultra-high energy level when he has his good days. But on those bad days, the days where his body won't cooperate and then the depression because of that reality hits him, well those are the days I want to cry because they are usually in clusters.

It's much easier in the warmer weather, as she can go outside and play right outside my office window and he can take it easy. But winter is so hard and she literally bounces off the walls and nothing I can come up with keeps her occupied for more than 10 minutes at a time before she is up my bum.

Oh, That is Funny - see msg

[ In Reply To ..]
...but the person who had it on their license plate wasn't too bright. Can we talk being seriously watched for a DWI?

Anyway, glad you're clear-minded for your kid and work, good for you.

Yeah,3-year-olds need their mommy and daddy. I hope you don't have to put her in full-time daycare, yuck.

My sister had 2 young kids---she delivered newspapers in very early morning hours while her husband got the little ones up and ready for the day. When they were old enough to be in school, she cleaned houses so she would be home when they got home. She did that so she wouldn't have to put them in daycare...the kids never had 1 single day in a daycare center. They did do nursery school and kindergarten, but only part time.

I give her kudos every day, every day for not having someone else raise her kids and for choosing a good guy who stuck around and did his part.

I don't know if oxytocin comes in a pill - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
but I have heard that physical affection, like hugging, can actually increase oxytocin levels. Double up on hugs to your husband, daughter, and everyone you love. Now there's a prescription you can take with no nasty side effects! :-)

I am feeling your pain...I have a very similar situation - Eventually leaving transcription

[ In Reply To ..]
My fiance has been disabled since he was 28 right after our twins were born, so I felt alone with a 3-year-old and twin newborns. They are now 7-year-old twins and a 10-year-old daughter. He has COPD which they think is from secondhand smoke during his childhood as he has never been a smoker and has never worked in a factory. He also has other medical issues. He doesn't leave the house, and I do everything alone with our three children. I try to keep as much of a normal life as possible with our children. I love taking them places and doing things with them. I feel staying in medical transcription has isolated me as well. Anyway, I hope things get much better for you. I wish I had advice to offer. I'm pretty much in the same boat, and I'm just hoping to be able to get out of medical transcription somehow now that the kids are older. Take care. I hope things turn around for you and your family.

Similar Messages:

May 01, 2013
"A 2-year-old Kentucky girl was accidentally killed by her 5-year-old brother who fired a rifle he had been given as a gift, officials said Wednesday." Parents can be arrested for not reporting a missing child. It's not even legal to let your child drive a car without a permit. Yet, this sad, sad story is unfortunately way too common. We MUST start holding adults accountable for guns in the home. ...

Mar 30, 2011
I guess he has to drive a used minivan to his second home. Another Wisconsin Republican that is out of touch. See link. ...

Jan 01, 2011
Another year has come and gone. We ended up going to the movies to see the Little Fockers. It was pretty funny. We went to the grocery store beforehand to pick up some snacks for today and then grabbed dinner at a fast food place the kids picked. Overall, it was a pretty good evening. I went to bed about 11:30 (I tried but could not stay awake), but the kids stayed up till a little after 12 with DH. After that, they went off to bed. I'm actually looking ...

Feb 08, 2012
Can be serious or hysterical.... ...

Nov 03, 2009
I have a 12 year old son in the 7th grade. Yesterday he cried and almost missed his school bus because he was not happy with his hair and said there was no possible way he could go to school with his hair like that. It looked the same as it always does. I had to make him leave and go get on the bus and I felt awful having him leave upset. This morning, it is about 40 degrees outside here, and he did not want to wear a jacket of any sort. He has about 10 hoodies tha ...

Jan 12, 2011
VR - got my first really good one today - dictated: dysphonia with a high pitched voice. VR: dysphonia with a 'high fish' voice. Glad I'm getting off soon. At least worth a smile, or laugh....... ...

Feb 05, 2010
Unreal. If she keeps the baby, when she is graduating high school, her daughter will be in the 1st or 2nd grade. Very sad, IMO. ...

May 25, 2010
I'm out of ideas for end of year gifts for teachers. My son will be "graduating" 5th grade Thursday and he's had kind of a rough year. I'd like to get his teacher something out of the ordinary. I usually do gift cards, but anyone out there have any better, more unique ideas? I don't want to spend lots of money, maybe $20 or so...Thanks y'all! ...

Aug 12, 2012
Lie of the Year 2011: 'Republicans voted to end Medicare' http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2011/dec/20/lie-year-democrats-claims-republicans-voted-end-me/ ...

Dec 26, 2013
Anyone have any specific traditions they do New Year's Eve or NY Day? Both of those days vary for us as we've gotten older. NY Eve we USED to do it up big, get all duded up, go to a banquet hall, dance, ring in the New Year with Champagne, leave after midnight. These days, we just go out for a quiet dinner with friends, or do a little thing at someone's house. Staying up until after midnight is optional for us these days, but we've been doing pretty good ringing it in. ...

Feb 13, 2014
Yeah, it's my mother. Maybe that says it all. She has told me she wishes she could change how she and my father parented my brothers and me when we were growing up. In the 60s and 70s nobody really thought about how to parent. They just did it, good and bad, so I'm dealing with the fallout of their choices just like every other person alive. I think we've had the normal ups and downs, although my mother has been and continues to be a very critical, judgmental person, not jus ...

Mar 30, 2015
A friend of ours, 15-year-old Alex Pearson from Nashville, TN, suffered an ruptured aneurysm after a rare slow brain bleed (about 3 weeks) on March 18th. He has undergone craniotomy to stop the bleed, and has had most of his skull removed on both sides b/c of brain swelling. He was brought out of his coma last week and after three hours of no brain function and being told he was brain dead, his mother and brothers and sisters left the hospital and headed to church to pray with the youth group ...

Mar 11, 2016
Okay, so I got out of MT 3 years ago (for obvious reasons), took a nice little part time job answering telephones for a mom & pop business. I plan on retiring completely in one year, and am trying to get ideas on what you plan on doing (or are doing) in retirement. Or, heck, even if you have many years ahead of you in terms of needing to work-work, I'm open to ideas. I am thinking of volunteer work. I do know that I don't want to sit around and watch movies all day. I'm th ...

Apr 01, 2011
Petition to Barack Hussein Obama for a Proclamation of Apology for the Democratic Party's 150-year History of RacismWe, black American citizens of the United States and the National Black Republican Association, declare and assert:WHEREAS, the healing of wounds begins with an apology, and the Democratic Party has never apologized for their horrific atrocities and racist practices against black Americans during the past 150 years, nor held accountable for the residual impact that those atroc ...

Nov 11, 2009
In December, my significant other (BF sounds so young) and I will have been together 10 years. We are both 51 and basically get anything we want when we want it. He is not the type to wear jewelry except his college ring and a watch (which I got him 5 years ago) and he has anything and everything for his favorite college team. I was thinking about doing a collage of pictures from the trips we have taken in our 10 years together in a nice picture frame, but not sure. He is ...

Dec 31, 2009
See ya next year....and hopefully it will be better all the way around. I splurged even though I shouldn't have, but those 1 pound giant lobsters looked too good to let anyone else have them. Now I'm going to enjoy. ...

Jan 06, 2011
My 9 year old wears a ladies size 8-1/2 shoe. She's wanting to get high heels (she showed me her example at Wal-Mart, a heel of around 3-4") and says her school friends are wearing heels. I'm not sure that heels are a good idea at this age of this height. What's your thoughts? ...

Jan 13, 2010
I say every year I am not going to be caught up in the moment and here I go again. Last night's show was really good as far as the talent and tonight is turning out to be some of the same. What was the guy's name, Tyler, last night that sang "Let's Get it On", oh my, my! Guess I am hooked again. ...

Jan 22, 2010
My 12 year old son just asked me if he could sleep over at a friend's house tonight at a boy's house, with 4 other kids. I asked him who the kids were.... three of them (including my son) would be boys, and two girls! I said no. He is very upset and says it is no big deal. Would you have let your child go? ...

Mar 16, 2010
My niece and nephew's 8 year old birthday is this week. They are twins. I want to get my niece a Barbie DVD but have no idea what an 8 year old would like regarding DVDs. Any suggestions? ...

Nov 01, 2011
I've tried everything to get my 2-year-old daughter to brush her teeth. I've put her in front of a mirror and brushed my teeth and tried to get her to copy me but she wouldn't. I've tried making it a fun game and that didn't work. I've told her she has bugs in her mouth that need to be brushed out and that didn't work. I let her pick out a toothbrush at the store that she liked and that didn't work. Her teeth need to be ...

Jun 10, 2010
Okay, so the parents think this child knows what she is doing so they let her sail around the sea, BY HERSELF???? What is good gawd's name is going on in this world. The girl is a child for pete's sake. She hasn't even graduated high school, not onld enough to drink, just old enough to have her drivers licence and they let her go out to see all alone??? Trusting your child is one thing. We're talking about the ocean where even the most experience ...

Jun 10, 2012
Anyone have any good ideas for teachers gifts? I was thinking of gift cards, but am always so unsure of how much to put on them. My 1 son has 1 teacher and 3 assistants in his rooom throughout the week (1 full time and 2 part time helpers), so I would need to buy for all 4 of them. My little guy has 1 teacher and 1 assistant in preschool, so I would need for them too. Also my big guy has a bus driver and an assistant so I want to get them a little something as well. Any help or s ...

Aug 23, 2012
Obama has sunken us deeper. But that is what he wants. He wants us to be like a third world country. He says the majority of people in third world countries are worse off than the poor in this country. He wants "equality for all". Damn Communist. ...

Sep 05, 2012
It's like an echo. Every single person who speaks or gave a speech, and every government mayor, governor, government worker who speaks or gave a speech, are saying the exact same thing. Don't they have thoughts of their own? Can't they think for themselves? It certainly doesn't look that way. I'm surprised the women are being bamboozled so badly. It's shocking. Oh, and I love the way Debbie Wasserman-Schultz got caught in another lie and then lied about it... ...

Sep 07, 2012
15249-breaking-august-jobs-report-shows-shrinking-workforce ...

Oct 29, 2012
It has been more than 1,200 days since the Democrat-controlled Senate passed a budget. Since then, we’ve added $5 trillion in new debt and the total amount has increased from $11.2 trillion to $16.2 trillion. ...

Nov 07, 2012
http://bostonglobe.com/business/2012/11/07/dow-down-moret-han-points-post-election-fiscal-reality-hits-wall-street/OU0iaGD0eSVpZh6fQSE9NO/story.html My 401K thanks you all too... we are really headed off the cliff. ...

Nov 13, 2012
Every year I make turkey, dressing, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, deviled eggs, cranberry sauce, homemade bread and pumpkin pie. The daughters will bring another dessert or two. These are all traditional foods that my family enjoys, but I am so bored with it. I need some new, fresh, and different ideas. Even if I did something different with the beans or potatoes. Maybe a fruit salad? I still want some of the traditional foods, but does anyone have any idea ...

Mar 01, 2013
MERRIMACK, NH (CBS) – One of the posters in the front window of a New Hampshire gun shop depicts President Obama as “Firearms Salesman of the Year.” Below the president are two AK-47 rifles. A second poster featuring the images of Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin and Mao Zedong accompanies a statement that reads, “All Experts Agree, Gun Control Works.” The signs are in the front window of Collectible Arms & Ammo in Merrimack. Store Co-owner Keith Cox makes no apologies for the storef ...