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How do you answer a nosy friend's questions?

Posted: May 13, 2015

I have a very dear friend of nearly 40 years and I have not one thing negative to say about her except that she asks what I think are inappropriate questions. For example, without fail, she will always ask the price of a big ticket item. She doesn't broadcast the news, she just wants to know for whatever reason. I am getting together with her soon and know she will ask the price of something BIG that I bought. She has no idea how long I saved and what I sacrificed to do this. Does anyone have any advice that would not negatively impact my friendship with her. She is like a sister, but too nosy and I don't want her to know the price. Thank you.

;

Maybe say - that

[ In Reply To ..]
you scrimped and saved but it was worth every penny. Of course, she will ask how much. I would ask point blank why she wants to know? You don't have to divulge anything to her. Say it's between you and your bank account and you'd rather not say. If she is offended or gets mad then what kind of friend is she anyway?

I have an only child because we both came close to death when I had him. A lot of people would ask if we would be having anymore. . .rather personal question but some people don't hesitate to ask not thinking that maybe it was just a little difficult to realize we would have no more children. People, think before you ask!!

Good luck!

Just say, "I paid $20,000. Do you think that was too much?" - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
!

Hmmmm.. - marge

[ In Reply To ..]
I guess she could probably just look up the price of the item so maybe it's not a big deal? I certainly would not want it to impact my friendship so I'd probably just go with that she likes to "number" things and not let it bother me. :) You've worked, you've earned, you deserve whatever you buy. :D

I would suggest saying something funny--like TOO MUCH - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
no message

With a big smile on my face, I was thinking of... - OP

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...asking back, "Are you taking a survey?" and then bust out laughing and try to change the subject. If she brings it up again, I can just simply say it's personal or it will be public knowledge soon enough.

Friend - acceptance

[ In Reply To ..]
True friends are hard to come by as we all know. I would say ".. no big deal, I'll tell her what she wants to know" because in the overall scheme of things, does it really matter? As a friend, you accept someone with their faults and good points both!

FWIW, I agree 100% with this. So what?? - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

This Stuff - see msg

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My friends and I always talk about what we paid for what---it's just what we do. I never even give it too much of a second thought. We do kind of word it politely, like, "do you mind if I ask what you paid for it?" It's not done out of nosiness, it's done out of curiosity, and see if it's something we might be able to think about buying or not, maybe compare the deal with info we found, etc. We talk about what we paid for our house, or TV set, stuff like that.

If this is the worst example of what you perceive to be nosy, maybe you're feeling a little guilty about buying it?

If your example is representative of her worst nosiest question, I think this wouldn't be the hill you'd want to die on.

I do personally feel that one's yearly income is entirely personal, and I would never think to ask anyone something like that. But if they offered their's, I would offer mine. At this point, I've also said, "I only make blah-blah an hour, so I think I'll look for another job..." Stuff like that.

Just Say - I don't remember the exact price

[ In Reply To ..]
and don't say anything else.

I would say...the price was right. Then I would come out and in a nice way - tell her

[ In Reply To ..]
"I really don't like telling people what I pay for things, it's kind of personal to me." And leave it at that.

If she has internet she can look up whatever it is on the internet or the newspaper flyers.

When people have asked my DH in the past what he paid for something (this was always his brother) he would say "I paid enough". His brother stopped asking him these questions.

I remember Dear Abby answering this. - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
She said something to the effect that if someone is gutsy enough to ask the question, be gutsy right back and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

No matter what it is, I look triumphantly smug and - earnestly say ...

[ In Reply To ..]
"TJ Maxx! On SALE! And you wouldn't believe how much even if I told you. You would be amazed at what you can find there. As you are! Totally worth it! Check weekly and don't forget to look in the back corner where they put the clearance items. Oh, and be sure to look behind stacks of things like towels, because people hide items so nobody will buy them before they get marked down. I found a fabulous piece of Le Creuset stashed behind the pillows once. It was almost FREE! Well, at least as free as Le Creuset ever gets. Did you know they have online now? Not as good as the stores, of course, but you should check it out." Then I sigh contentedly.

At that point, they have no idea what they asked you.

"between 1 cent and $15,000" nm - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
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