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questions for parents with small children

Posted: Jun 20, 2011

Do you children (maybe around 4 years old) cry a lot? We have a neighbor who has a little girl and she is always crying - and I mean always. I don't think we've ever heard longer than a half hour without her crying. She's playing with other kids and she cries, she's in the swimming pool and she's crying, eating crying, etc, etc. Since I never had kids or friends who had kids I don't know if this is normal.

Just was curious.

;

Do you live in my neighborhood? - 2 of um like that here

[ In Reply To ..]
I know girls are whiney, but not like this... these 2 girls cry all the darn time! Must be something in the growth hormones they are tainting our food with!

Could be lots of reasons - Eldo

[ In Reply To ..]
Could be sleep deprived, could be a lot of family turmoil, may need better training, etc. Could be sinister reasons, too, but not always.

constant crying is not normal - sweetgirlsmom

[ In Reply To ..]
I would just ask the girl. "Why are you crying?" She may be hungry, thirsty, needing a bathroom, in pain from medical problems, neglected, physically abused, mentally ill, emotionally disturbed, or bullied by other children.

The mother probably hears the crying, but is unable or unwilling to do anything. It is time for other adults to intervene. Once the mother knows other people are concerned, she may be more willing to get help for the child. Sometimes people lock their kids out of the house so they can drink or use drugs, or just have some peace and quiet on a hectic day. But the child is without supervision and other assistance. I would not let a child suffer like that.

I would find out from the girl what is wrong, talk to the mother, and insist they get whatever help is appropriate. If the child keeps crying or is hidden away, I would call Child Protective Services. They have the authority to get help for the child. If I was hesitant to talk to the mother, I would just call CPS. Some states will take an anomymous report and some will require your name. But none of them will tell the parents which neighbor called. I worked at a childrens treatment center and the social workers want to be informed. Children show disturbance when they are neglected or abused, and they are at risk for injury and/or death. This child could be in serious trouble and needing immediate help. You could save her life.

What is your overall impression of the family? Are there more kids? sm - ChiaPet

[ In Reply To ..]
and how often do THEY cry? She could be the child who has learned that *negative attention is better than no attention at all*, and do it b/c she has found out that someone will truly pay attention when she cries. You know the parents who are self-absorbed, always on the phone, make comments in stores "I'm gonna smack you if you don't shut up", etc?? Those are the kids I see who tend to be really whiny - they are not self-reliant b/c even tho their parents are not necessarily neglectful, they are neglectful in the one-on-one attention that children truly need to become self-realized adults. JMHO of course... she could also have a sibling who is bullying her of course.

Thanks - see message

[ In Reply To ..]
I was just curious because never having kids I just didn't know if this is normal behavior.

The parents are self absorbed with themselves. Mother is not married to the guy living there. We heard her talking on the phone once awhile back and she was telling someone she met him at a bar. He doesn't work so lives there and takes care of the girl.

There is no abuse whatsoever from the mother or guy so that's not something we are concerned about. She's just a whiny little girl. Maybe I was like that when I grew up cos now thinking about it my dad would always be yelling at me "knock it off" and my mom would yell "if you wanna cry I'll give you something to cry about". HA HA HA.

There is a bully boy that's always hitting her and pushing her down. The neighbors who were there before them (darn them for moving cos they were so nice) had the same problem with the same kid. Now he's at it with the girl. Oh yes, and he pees on their house when they are not there and takes the hose and squirts water in their windows. He's got a mouth that is worse than a sailor and every other word is the "f" word and now the girl is picking up on it, but they never say it when the parents are around. A few months ago I yelled over to him to watch his language, but it didn't do any good.

Anyway...we are going to move. I was just curious about the whiny brat. She's not hungry cos she's always eating something, so I'll be she just gets over tired.

Why dont you just ask the kid - what her problem is?

[ In Reply To ..]
Tell her she is annoying the grownups and to shut up the incessant caterwauling.

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