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Did you have a hard time with the whole getting older thing?


Posted: Feb 15, 2010

I will be 40 next year and am having a hard time. I see a few gray hair. I have the aches, the hot flashes. My kids are getting older. My son will be in college in a few years.

I still "think" of myself as a kid I guess...a high school kid really. I don't feel I can be almost 40. This is REALLY bothering me.

I guess I think 40...is my life half over? More than half? is it downhill from here? I am almost 40, and what have I really accomplished? Married and kids...that's it. I have not "made" anything of myself.
;

where has the time gone? - mt

[ In Reply To ..]
That's what I keep asking myself. Time is just flying by. I will be 50 this year. I keep saying that is just a number (isn't that what old people say?). Our youngest graduates this year and I keep telling my husband, now is the time for us. We need to go do all the stuff we want to do now before we get sick AND while we still have money.

I am looking forward to the coming years. I think if you make plans, set goals for what you want to do in the future, you'll forget about the getting older part at least for a little while. Make that bucket list and get started!

Getting older - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I turned 40 last year...2 days later I became a grandmother! Talk about a crisis...! No honestly, I'm ok with being a 40 YO grandmother, my granddaughter is the most wonderful thing that has happened to our family and she's absolutely an angel!

As for the gray hairs...well, I've been seeing them since I was probably 35ish. Go get your hair colored...that's what I do! Age is just a number, remember "you're only as old as you feel!" I think of myself as a lot younger than 40 too, and for that reason I don't stress about a number. I'm proud to be 40. I think I still look pretty darn good for a grandma!

Aging philosophy - Anon

[ In Reply To ..]
Aging is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer to the end you get, the faster it goes!

The getting older thing - LK

[ In Reply To ..]
Yeah,it's tough. I just turned 54 and I definitely feel it at times, but mentally I feel about 30. I had my kids in my mid-30's and my youngest just left for college last fall, so have kids out of the house for the first time. I actually kind of feel like I'm in a second adolescence right now.

My approach is do what you can to keep yourself young and looking youthful (lots of regular exercise, good eating habits, no smoking or excessive drinking, hair color if needed and great cut, flattering and up to date wardrobe) but don't go overboard trying to fight off the inevitable.

Recently I went in and met my husband's doctor for the first time when I needed to pick up some forms for him, and he told my husband later "I didn't know your wife was so much younger than you" (I'm not). That made me feel pretty good.

I took up roller & inline skating at age 48, and (sm) - SanFrannie

[ In Reply To ..]
Now I'm 60, and in better shape than I was at 35. My bod may be 60, but my mind is still about 17.

A few things I've learned:

ACHES: If you play hard and come home with sports injuries, they'll take your mind off the little "aging" aches.

HOT FLASHES: I just happen to be on an SSRI, which for some people has the "side effect" of lessening hot flashes. I've never had a single flash, ever.

LIFE HALF OVER: Not really. Just seems to go faster, even though it's not. You have to pack as much fun into it as possible. Fun is far more important than "accomplishing" things. Try to accomplish FUN.

GRAY HAIR: Some people I know were totally gray at 35. Dosn't mean much, really. But there are always the options of coloring. As a "crazy" street skater, I find coloring the gray streaks with pink, blue, or purple works wonders for one's sense of "aging".

MARRIED WITH KIDS: That's an accomplishment in itself. I don't have the intestinal fortitude for even a relationship anymore, let alone marriage or kid-raising. (Maybe because I still am one?) Kids are a huge accomplishment, especially if you raise them to be good people. Just don't forget to do things for YOURSELF. Art or craft work you enjoy, a physical fitness program at the gym (or on skates!), etc. Cooking class, going back to school, planting a garden, etc. If it's worth doing at all, it's worth doing well, and if you've done it well, it's an accomplishment.

Back to exercise: I just joined a "Zumba" exercise class. Talk about FUN!!! It's a low-impact, but aerobic dance workout to Latin music. Our teacher is teaching us Salsa, Mambo, Rhumba, Cha-Cha, Samba, and even belly-dancing! Zumba is a nationwide phenomenon, and where I live it's inexpensive - just $6. We have ladies of ALL sizes and ages in class who love it.
Age truly is "just a number". 40 was rough for me only because I was aready suffering from depression at the time (chemical, not age-related). Got that straightened out, got rid of some of the "garbage" in my life, and then took up skating. I don't even remember turning 50 - I was skating in a parade that weekend, and was busy working on a costume. 60 is a little weird, but mainly because I now find myself chained to this blasted computer too much of the time. But I'm working on that little problem, as well. But I still try to have as much fun as I can, whenever I can.

My mom said "My 40s were the best years of my life." My 40s were okay, but so far my 50s were the best years. And I'm hoping I can one-up that in my 60s.

Nawww! I'm loving it! - But I stay away from mirrors.

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm 48. My kids are in college and the older one will graduate next year. When I turned 40, I learned to ski. I stopped doing that, since it's darn expensive! LOL I backpack and hike, and I'm planning a trip to the Grand Canyon for a rim-to-rim adventure when I turn 50. I love that I don't have to look after the kids anymore. I love that I have time to do things. I'm keeping in shape, and I think that is key. At 40, I was 80 pounds overweight. As soon as I fixed that and started taking care of myself, I felt so much better. I do have some aches and pains now and then. I'm just starting to see a few gray hairs now (good genes, I guess), and no hot flashes. What I hate is the wrinkles that are showing, but in pictures, I'm usually beaming now, and I know the smile is from a better outlook, more time for myself, less stress. Whatever you do, as you start over-the-hill, so to speak, pay attention to your health. Get fit, eat healthy. It really does make a difference.

My problem with aging - anony

[ In Reply To ..]
is that I'm not aging fast enough. I am 49 years old, will be 50 in a couple months and I can't wait to be an older lady.

My worst birthday was when I turned 35. Don't know why but it really affected me. I had no aches or pains or anything.

Now I'm going on 50. I am feeling older because I've got so many aches and pains. I stopped coloring my hair. Figure that I have earned every gray hair I've got. The hardest thing is when my sister tells me she ran into an old school friend of mine who is now a grandmother. I think...whoa, I'm not old enough to be a grandma. HA HA. But no kids here to turn me older than before my time. But as for growing older....can't wait til I'm 80.

time and accomplishments - ne

[ In Reply To ..]
Here are some random thoughts. I am chronologically older than you. I don't know exactly how to help you but I want to reply. NO, it is not what you say. But it is difficult to carve out a plan to change things because it might risk ruffling a few feathers in the way people may have become used to seeing you. (and, added later, the ways you have become accustomed to seeing yourself). Nothing much is cast in stone even your physical appearance and aches and pains. If you are happily married (reasonably so given the amount of time together - ) it is a huge accomplishment in itself. Do not compare yourself with celebrities; their lives are not what they appear to be. "Go within" as they say and think of an area or areas you are VERY interested in and haven't had time to explore. Make time; each of us is so unique. Find your uniqueness. Surprise yourself and others. Also... life has a very deep meaning which is impossible to express. Keep at at; you are on the threshold of great discoveries AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS. There is a reason you are feel so uncomfortable. Something is trying to be born. It may get worse before it gets better but you sound like you are well on your way and there's no turning back the train now!

I will trade you! I still haven't gotten over turning 50 - - deb

[ In Reply To ..]
and I will be 55 in less than 2 weeks! I am still in my late 30s in my mind! NO WAY am I over 50 years old!

Unfortunately there is only one alternative to getting older - and I'm not real keen on that idea either!

getting old - 40ish

[ In Reply To ..]
Getting old is actually a lucky thing, but our culture doesn't really put it that way.

I think the switch is that it is other people's turn to get married and have babies and it is our turn to be grandparents.

Whether you are a cool, hip grandma that sky dives is up to you. I prefer being the grandma that gives fist bumps and plays tag.

I think the saddest old women are the ones who don't let the beauty thing go. The way I figure it, I had 15 years of being beautiful and now it is over. I am lucky I had any time...some women are never pretty their whole life. I think it is okay to pass the torch of youth.

Getting older - older lady

[ In Reply To ..]
40 ???? You're just a tyke. ;) I'll be 58 in September and I feel younger than my 39 yo daughter. I've got a few gray hairs, no aches, never had hot flashes and love to exercise. I'm not going to get "old," I'm going to "mature." Don't take it so hard. I wish I was 40 again and feeling 16. You've got a lot ahead of you whether you've made anything of yourself or not. :)

You are still young - remember

[ In Reply To ..]
I will be 50 this year and 40 seems quite young to me now ... even 45. It's all relative. Tell yourself you are young (and enjoy it), cause looking back you will wish you had. : ) I am trying to do that now at (almost) 50.

Do Not Regret Growing Older - It is a privilege denied to many

[ In Reply To ..]
that is all

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