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Having a hard time . . .
Posted: Mar 31, 2015
Sitting here admits tears and trying to stay focused.
Four years ago today, at 4:23 a.m., my world changed. My apartment burned to the ground with everything lost. What a horrible thing to watch everything you own be destroyed. Everything I had worked hard for to go up in a short amount of time. Precious memento's left from my grandma, mom, dad and brother never to be seen again or able to be replaced. Yes, I am thankful that my fiance and I and our pet made it out. I have been having trouble sleeping and staying focused. I remember bits and parts of that day as it was yesterday.
I got so tired of my sister saying, "well, it was just stuff." yes, but it was MY stuff. Still trying to recover emotionally and financially ever since. I was underinsured and lost quite a bit of money. Now, I am at the other extreme of probably being over insured.
Everytime I smell wood burning, I start looking around. For a long time when fire trucks would go by, I would cringe. Neighbor's smoke detector went off recently and I panicked. Turned out to be her battery going out.
I am hoping that is/was the worst thing to ever happen to me. Hoping God can get me through the next couple of days.
;
Understandably, you're suffering from PTSD. - Bless your heart.
[ In Reply To ..]I'll pray right now that God will grant you peace that passes all understanding. Four years isn't that long ago. This was a devastating nightmare and loss for you. Your sister probably just doesn't want you to be trapped in the memory of that horrible day. She probably says "it's just stuff" because she sees you suffering, and she loves you. It's hard for those around us to know what to say in these instances.
I do praise the Lord that He spared the lives of you, your fiance, and your beloved pet.
If you haven't sought counseling, it might be worth the money to do it. A specialist in grief counseling might be just what you need to get your life where you want it to be. Maybe even one day you'll want to volunteer with organizations that help families who have been displaced by a fire.
Wow a dislike? - mtme
[ In Reply To ..]Surprised? what is offensive in the OP's post?
Someone expressing a feeling/emotion. What compassion you must have. Hope you never go through something like he/she did and seek a little comfort from others. wow.
One time I went to "like" a post - sm
[ In Reply To ..]but by mistake I clicked "dislike." Whenever I see a "dislike" in a case like this, I just figure that someone made a mistake like I did that time. Otherwise, if they really disliked this post, they could have responded with why. Absent that response, I'll just assume it was a mistake and someone is not that hateful and pathetic.
Praying for you, Anony - NJMT
[ In Reply To ..]I can only try to imagine the trauma you endured. Another poster suggested you are experiencing PTSD, and it makes sense. Also, you are obviously still grieving, which is a process that takes time,and everyone's timeline is different. Not an expert here by any means, but going through all the phases of grief is important. Yes, you're grateful that you and your fiance and pet were spared, and that can be a comforting thing upon which to focus as much as you can, but there is still the pain of what you lost and the ordeal you endured. Talking to someone who will listen and validate your feelings and walk you through the grief can help a lot. Many grief support groups are open to anyone suffering any kind of loss, not just the loss of a loved one. Sometimes connecting with others who are also grieving gives us a greater sense of being understood. Empathy is a powerful thing.
I am praying for all three of you that God heals your hearts and blesses you with His love, peace, and comfort.
May I suggest something to help with the PTSD sm - also anon
[ In Reply To ..]symptoms you are having? There is a type of therapy called EMDR, you can Google it - this seems the most effective type of therapy to begin to get over the trauma and grief of an awful event like that. It doesn't take endless sessions and I think it's your best bet in healing from the fire. Good luck to you.
Fire past - apt
[ In Reply To ..]Probably 25 years ago now, we lost almost everything in an apartment fire. Got back from a nice vacation to find this huge pile of junk in the parking lot where we normally parked or nearby. By the time we parked, I started recognizing the stuff as ours. Was shocked. We all ran to our apt & the door was gone, there was still the "fresh" smell of a major burn. Found out later that the fire was arson. Somebody broke in, poured gas or something all over stuff & lit it. We didn't have insurance either. We discovered things had been stolen. What didn't burn was severely smoke damaged. While trying to find out if anything could be kept, our vehicles got vandalized. The apt complex had loaned us another apt til we could figure out what we were going to do & it got broken into also. We left the area the following morning after doing some car repair. Literally drove til we could go no further, slept, then drove some more. It took a long time to get to the point where I could remember that fire & not have physical problems at the same time. We took lots of pictures of the damage. Not sure why anymore. My husband & I would go through them sometimes. We still have the pics but no longer go down that memory lane. Give yourself some time. Maybe someday you can look back & not be sick from it. It does take awhile. Some of what we lost never got replaced. If our current place burned, it would be traumatic, maybe doubly so, having gone through it in the past. My youngest wasn't born at the time the apt burned, so he doesn't really "get it" when I worry every time he wants to light something or when he had a school project years ago that required igniting something. Time heals a lot of wounds if you let it. Find some peace in something & let that cover this also. It does help.
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