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MTs going through hard times

Posted: Aug 25, 2010

Sometimes, when I read posts about MTs going through hard times (many of us these days), I think about inviting one of them to stay in my home for perhaps a year in order to get a little ahead. I live alone in a rural area and have a lovely home. There's not much to do here, but it's pleasant enough, and the cost of living is reasonable. I've been through a few rough patches myself, but I'm with a pretty stable company now and am enjoying my work. I'm not sure it will last, but I'm hoping it will!

Anyway, what holds me back is my fear of the many problems that could develop in a siituation like this. How do I know that this is someone I would enjoy being around? How do I know she would keep my house as tidy as I like it? How do I know that her significant other/children/pets/friends wouldn't be visiting all year long? How could I be sure that she wouldn't play music/TV at ear-splitting levels? Should I develop some kind of questionnaire to determine basic compatibility before opening my home and life to a complete stranger? I really feel like I could offer someone a port in a storm and that I'm obligated to do so.

Any ideas would be appreciated!

;

In reply to your post - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
First of all, that is a very kind and generous offer for you to make. I am struggling financially right now and about to lose my apartment, but luckily, I have a couple of places lined up, but the stress of everything has been overwhelming, as well as the "hurry up and wait," with one of the places.

A question that I think I have right off the bat is do you have room for an MT with children? (I myself am in my 50s and my children are grown), but many of these struggling MTs may be single mothers, so of course, children would more than likely come into the picture. I was in a roommate/rented room situation myself when I first moved to South Florida and my roommate and I got along relatively well, although we did "have our moments" since she also worked out of her home doing landscape architecture. From the point of view of the rentee, I was able to have my significant other over on the weekends (he is also in a long-time roommate situation)or I would go over to his place.

I would definitely set boundaries/rules in regards to the noise level, pets, children etc. I have a sun conure now, that I got when I rented a room, which was actually like a small efficiency apartment and my landlady had no objection to her. Another suggestion that I have is that if I were you, I would set "an age limit." For example, were you to place an ad, state something to the effect of "seeking professional, mature employed female," or something similar. It is your home and you have to set the ground rules, when it comes to things like noise, smoking, pets etc. I am a smoker, but I respect those people that don't and smoke outside. My roommate and I shared the kitchen, but I always cleaned up after myself, which of course, is something that I was taught to do from an early age. I ended up leaving the first roommate situation here when I was at the boyfriend's place, fell asleep on the couch and woke up to what I thought was a gunshot and broke my ankle and was in a cast for 3 months. I then ended up renting a small, efficiency type apartment that a woman had set up in her house. She had a house with 2 wings and I rented out the "master bedroom," which had a separate entrance and a small kitchenette area. It's really hard and I can definitely understand your fears regarding some of these issues, but in a way too, think about it in the way that you would be screening a prospective tenant to rent your home. Most of the ads here (Miami) ask for some kind of rent and security deposit. You might try going on Craigslist for your local area and checking out rooms for rent to get some idea of what a going rate would be. Here in Miami, when I had my "efficiency," I was paying around $550 a month. The average one-bedroom apartment rents for around 1200-1500 a month. I was lucky to have found one for $800 a month and until the death of my boss a couple of months ago, I was able to pay my rent on time and pay my electric and cable bills on time. Since that time, going to work for a national and still being in "training phase," I have taken a substantial hit on my income and hence, am about to get evicted. Many people do not understand the fact that we are paid on production and that it may be several weeks between the time the actual offer is made and startng to work, which is what I believed happened in the case of my current landlord. I was an IC for my prior MTSO and in March, had enough money after taking care of bills, etc, to be able to buy new furniture for my place as well as a 32" television. Well, 2 months later, my world as I knew it caved in.

If you would like, I have several "roommate type links" that I could send you via email and again, it will kind of give you an idea. I believe that on some of these sites, the person "who is looking" has to pay a fee, while the person who "has the room" does not have to pay.

Another thought is "space consideration." This kind of goes back to the first roommate situation I had. We also shared the living room and I work on a laptop with a small computer desk. Would there be enough room in your home for 2 MTs who work at home to be comfortable doing so?

Anyway, sorry this was long and somewhat scattered, but typing as thoughts were coming to my not quite awake brain.

Please feel free to email me if you would like.

SET THE GROUND RULES - Searching

[ In Reply To ..]
Wow, I am impressed by the sincerity that comes across in your post.

Since you own the abode, you of course have the right to set the rules RE noise, smoking, drinking (yes, this can be a problem!), guests, pets, etc. It just makes sense to find someone who shares your lifestyle habits or you will inevitably clash anyway, so as long as you tell them up front what you expect and will not tolerate it should spare both parties grief down the road.

YES, you want to SCREEN and INTERVIEW throughly every single applicant, and the questionnaire is a great idea!! That will cut to the chase and save you from wasting your time with someone who is incompatible.

I am like the other poster: single in an apartment, no kids. I don't know how much longer I can hold out with my own place; I think this is the last year. With our pay continually being cut and expenses rising, I will have to find a roommate or a smaller place.

I would LOVE to have the luxury of living off the beaten path (equines in the picture would be the greatest!). You are one fortunate lady!!

I wish you the best of luck in your search. I think you will do just fine. :)

I hate to sound negative, but.... - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
It sounds like a wonderful idea on paper, but no good deed goes unpunished. You could be opening yourself up to a lot of headaches you don't need.

If it doesnt work out, it might be very very difficult to - get them out unless theyve signed a lease. nm

[ In Reply To ..]
<

MTs going through hard times - Original Poster

[ In Reply To ..]
Thank you for your responses! There are some excellent suggestions here.

This morning, as I started work, I realized that, if I were to share my home with someone, almost everything would have to be negotiated, including a comfortable temperature! LOL I'm pretty committed to leading a healthy lifestyle (biking, walking, etc.) and would want a roommate to have a similar approach if possible. I'm also a professional musician (playing in a quartet and symphony); this requires practice, and a roommate may find this annoying. There would definitely be some sacrifices, but I'm thinking that almost anything could be tolerated for a year.

I'm going to put a lot of thought into this. The thing is that, although I'm disciplined and cautious, I STILL found myself in a desperate situation 3 years ago, when I had to change jobs 6 times because of work being offshored/VR/awful platforms. It was simply the most stressful time in my life. It can happen to ANYone. I almost lost everything. I'm grateful that things have settled down, and I'm aware that it could happen again. :( For those who think it can't happen to them... well...

For those of you in dire circumstances, I... well, I'm just very, very sorry. I hope things improve for you all.

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