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Christmas gifts

Posted: Dec 2, 2011

Need advice. We have friends with a 10 YO and an 8 YO. This may sound silly - but I feel that our friendship has evolved to that of us going to visit them, us sending gifts for holidays, us emailing and calling them. We always get lovely thank you notes, but they live two hours away and they haven't been to our house in about five years and we haven't been to theirs in 2 years (husband refuses to go over there until they come here)! . Am I beating an old relationship to death? Since we are having a tight Christmas and less is more what should I do? I don't want to hurt the kids' feelings.

;

Christmas Gifts - CanRelate

[ In Reply To ..]
Don't let a longstanding friendship go by the wayside. It sounds like you really enjoy the relationship. My husband is similar in the way that yours will not go unless they come to you first, but there are ways that don't break the bank. Maybe send a family-type gift that does not cost too much. There are some fairly inexpensive things like pancake mix with syrup and a special-shaped pan that you can get around $20.00. I gave one of these a few years ago, and the son in the household tells me every time I see him that he started making the family Sunday breakfasts because of that gift. I think that friendships are too few and far between these days (especially when you work from home and not around other people) for us to give up on them so easily. If you feel comfortable, ask the other couple why they have not come to your house in so long. There may be a really good reason. Good luck!

My 2 cents - Been there

[ In Reply To ..]
Do your friends send anything to your family? If yes, like the other poster said, get something for the whole family to enjoy. If no, I would stop sending anything to the friends. I had a good friend stop sending to me, and it turned out she simply did not know how to ask if we could stop exchanging, so she just stopped and hoped I would follow suit, which I did after a couple years. She was struggling financially but did not want anyone to know how bad it really was (I found out years later what was going on). Also around this time I felt like I was initiating all contact. She had 2 children and there was always a school or sport event to attend to. It was nothing personal, just had a very busy life. As you live so far from your friends, ask if they would be willing to meet you halfway where you could go to a park where the kids can run around or to a fair of some kind, and then go out to a restaurant. If they make excuses not to do that, or to come to your house, then, IHMO, I would back off a bit, keep in touch via e-mail or Facebook, and use the time and energy usually spent on them to forge new friendships or strengthen other current ones. Good luck. This kind of situation can be real tough to sort out and I feel for you.

another great family gift is games - mt3

[ In Reply To ..]
you could probably get a good one for about $20.00 and not only would the family enjoy it if you do happen to get together with them it is something you could all do together during your visit. Some of our favorite games we have received as a family gift are Taboo and Apples to Apples...great because everyone from kids to adults can participate together.

We love to play Scattagories. - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
x

My family loves Apples to Apples. nm - mthead

[ In Reply To ..]
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