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No gifts please

Posted: Oct 18, 2009

My husband and I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary in January, and we plan on having a small dinner party for about 20 people at the alumni club at the university where we met (and our youngest son is currently a student.) We don't want anyone to give us gifts because: 1. We're throwing the party ourselves, so it would be tacky to expect gifts anyway; and, 2. we really do feel blessed just as we are, don't need anything more and don't want our guests to feel obligated to give us a gift.

How do we word that on an invitation? I did an online search and was actually shocked to read that Emily Post says that even requesting no gifts is tacky. I find that strange. How is saying you don't want gifts tacky? I wouldn't mind suggesting that people sort of "pay it forward" by doing some sort of act of kindness, but I don't want to tell people what to do or which organization to donate to, etc.

Thoughts?

;

you're my kind of gal - linda

[ In Reply To ..]
I am personally relieved when I see no gifts please! What about something like: Your presence is the only gift we desire, or, Your presence would be the ultimate gift in helping us celebrate. I don't agree with Emily Post in this case, especially not when so many are having financial problems and many have given up going out at all because they can't afford it.

gifts - mt

[ In Reply To ..]
I recently threw an 80th birthday party for my dad and put 'no gifts please' on the corner of the invite. Emily Post must enjoy receiving gifts is all I got to say. LOL. Most of the guests wrote something to my dad or about my dad in their card and he thoroughly enjoyed reading those, probably more than he would receiving another kind of gift.

gifts - Lisette

[ In Reply To ..]
How about a cute line at the bottom that says something like:
"In lieu of gifts, we request that our guests perfom a random act of kindness to the person of his/her choice"

here's a thought - Snow Bunny

[ In Reply To ..]
Ask of your guests to tie a bow on around their wrist, since *they* are the only gifts you want.

Thanks for the validation. - sm- OP

[ In Reply To ..]
I also think Emily Post is out-of-touch on this one. After a certain amount of time, what more could I possibly take into my home? I really do appreciate the thought that goes into gift-giving, but we truly don't need anything that we can't manage for ourselves. What we really want is to spend time with our friends and family and enjoy ourselves.

And besides.... we're throwing this party. I would be mortified if anyone thought they needed to bring a gift to a party we arranged for ourselves.

I'm going to work on the wording of the invitation. I really want people to know that the point of the party is that we want to share a wonderful evening with them. Just show up and enjoy!

Say it just like your last sentence - Happy MT Robin

[ In Reply To ..]
I think the end of your last sentence actually says it perfectly "we want to share a wonderful evening with you. Just show up and enjoy."

Congratulations on your anniversary, too.

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