A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

Advice? Wanting to take a travel job

Posted: Dec 18, 2010

I have been offered a job as a fashion merchandiser for a group that tours. This would mean I would have to tour with them. I would be responsible for negotiating with the suppliers for their items they sell at concerts and online plus set up the displays at shows, etc. I am being offered 4 to 6 times what I make doing transcription plus my airfare and hotel would be included at all times. I got the job because my boyfriend is in the group and another man in the group's wife does the hiring.

This sounds amazing to me and I love to travel, but I have a 13 1/2-year-old son who lives with his father but I have joint custody. My boyfriend is in the group as well so I would be seeing him on a regular basis and I don't see him at all now. I really want to take the job but then I mentioned it to my son, even though I had told him before I would be going out as a guest at some shows, sometimes for several weeks at a time with my boyfriend and he never had a problem with it, and he said "NO. Mom! I can't live with dad that long. Then I would miss all my visits." Which my hope is that his father would allow me to keep him like a week or two before I had to leave and then that long after I came back at least provided I take him to school if it's school time and all that and then resume his regular visitation schedule and then do the 2 weeks before I leave the next time and so on.

The money is amazing and on a plus note I would get to see my boyfriend, which we have taken a break from boyfriend/girlfriend because he works all the time and I don't ever get to see him. We have dated 2 years and really want to resume being boyfriend and girlfriend and this job would help with that since I would be traveling with him. How would you all do this? I mean the possible career opportunities are incredible. I really want this job and I have it. I mean I don't really have to do anything but meet with the woman who hired me and it's done. I would get to go overseas and all over America and Canada. I can barely afford anything right now, am on food stamps and living in public housing. This job would make it so that never has to happen again so long as I have it.

Any ideas how to make this easier on my son? Do I just pass it up when it's the opportunity of a lifetime? I just don't know what to do. I know what I want to do.

;

Couldn't your son just hop on a plane and come - visit you wherever you are? nm

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

Your Son - OldHandAtThis

[ In Reply To ..]
Put your son first, he needs you a lot -- at home and available -- in a few years he will be grown and gone, and you can travel to your heart\'s content. Life will offer you other opporunities to travel but not likely another son.

You should be mothering your MINOR child as a first - priority. (sm)

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I call this abandonment and it will do nothing but cause fear and resentment in your son (and who can blame him).

Grow up, get over this "can't see my boyfriend enough" immaturity and finish raising your son.

I have nothing but disgust for parents to drop their children like this.

What>? - Torn

[ In Reply To ..]
Hmmm Maybe you aren't getting the picture here. This is a job that pays 4 to 6 TIMES what I make now. I am on FOOD STAMPS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I pay my ex husband $300 a month in child support. I can afford NOTHING Right now. Everything I have is on payments. I was asking advice on how to make him feel like I'm still right there. This is WORK, called SURVIVAL! I don't make enough to pay my bills. You all obviously didn't even read anything but TRAVEL. No, I said I can afford nothing. I am in government housing, owe back rent from my old house that I couldn't afford. ON FOOD STAMPS AND IN GOVERNMENT HOUSING.

I think if any of you were offered way more money than you were making so you could afford to take your children to the movies or take them out to dinner, you would. I can afford nothing. Not even clothes for me or him. I see my son twice a month for a weekend.
It isn't immature to want to see the man you are going to marry. Maybe you need to grow up and get into the real world. Money don't grow on trees. I would be traveling with him if his company would allow it anyway. They won't because I don't work for them currently. I sit in my house alone most of the time. My boyfriend lives in California, I in Missouri. We NEVER see each other. Not "I don't see him enough.' NEVER! In the two years we have dated and he has waited for me and I him. My son is not a baby. He's a teenager. There's a difference. He can handle it and actually likes the idea now that he has seen me make him go give the clerk at the gas station a $5 bill because that's all I have until I get paid at the end of the week. I will never have to do that again, taking this job.
I don't get to raise him. Perhaps you are missing the point. My ex husband does not allow me to have an opinion ever. He tells me how much something cost and I am to give him money to cover it. That's how it works. He and his new wife have different ways than I do. They don't ask my opinion on raising my son. I don't have say so. So that is not an issue. I see my son for visits. That's it . 4 days a month. The other days I am sitting here typing away trying desperately to pull in at least $1200 to pay my bills.
I shouldn't have even posted here. No one has any good advice except the first poster. Thank you to you and yes he can get on a plane with my mother, which again I wouldn't be able to afford without taking this job, and come see me for visits the odd times I wouldn't be home. You get it. I'm not abandoning him. I will have my apartment, car and life here just as always. Traveling does not equal abandonment.

Your child is more important than some boyfriend who could leave at any time. - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Believe me, you will not regret sticking around for your child. He's almost grown, you can chase your dream and any man after your son is 18. If your son is upset don't take that lightly...it is obviously bothering him.

You posted on a public board...you should expect people not to agree with you. - sm

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It sounds like you need justification for leaving your son. No mother just up and leaves children unless they are not fit to raise them due to addiction, abuse issues or just plain selfishness.

ABSOLUTELY! You are right on. - So sad.

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nm

teenagers... - OldWomanInTheShoe

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Bless yer heart. Life is not easy, is it? Couple different things "hit" me. Tis noneofmybusiness of course...but since ya asked..LOL

I find it rather "bothering" for lack of a better word that your son hasn't talked to you about "bad dad" until ya mentioned another job and then he unloaded on ya...Could be he has tried to "control ya" in other ways before?

Yer not abandoning your son IF you will make enough money for him to board an airplane and you still spend your 2 weekends a month with him. You DOOO only have one life too and it is your life so HAVE FUN albeit with strings until your son reaches 18.

Good luck! Just Pray about it...God will tell ya what to do.

You put yourself in your situation. At least be a mother - until he is on his own.

[ In Reply To ..]
Then run off and take care of your lower half.

I find it amusing all these negative posts - Torn

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But what do you people think of women who travel for their job, who are say entertainers who tour for a living. This is to better my life and my sons. Nobody here thinks of the money part of it. As in I'm on food stamps. I cannot afford to live comfortably at all right now.

Also, those in Iraq. Some children's mothers and fathers are over there. Same difference. They are doing a job, just as I would be doing.
For all the people on here who talk about how bad transcription pays and how they think it's all going down the tubes, you all are quick to judge when someone can get out of it easily.
I have decided I'm talking to the woman who hired me after the holidays, because she has the luxury of not having to work over the holidays while I will be chugging away every day and night this week. And I will see what she says about how long you are away at a time and if it is possible to have a guest every so often if I'm out more than a month or two at a time. I don't think it's totally out of the question and I believe it will work. None of you know my son like I do. He is fine with it since we talked about how I cannot afford to buy clothes, food or basic necessities most months. When I am home, I will be totally his and not having to type the whole time. Weighing the positives and the negatives, a job that pays anywhere from $20,000 more a year to $50,000 more is a good deal.
some of you I dare say, could just be jealous.
Thank you for all who were constructive..all TWO of you. :)

I find it amusing - as well as a double standard

[ In Reply To ..]
with some of these responses.

What about fathers who travel for a job? No one would say the father was unfit, or selfish, or whatever.

You do what you feel you need to do. These naysayers are not paying your bills.

I find it amusing that you only want to hear - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
from those who agree with you. You, my dear, are no mother, so go ahead and abandon your child. You will reap what you sow. You make more mention in your original post about your boyfriend, money, travel, your dream, your happiness than that of your son. Let his father have him; maybe he will have a stepmother who will love him and care about his well being. My cat is a better mother.

First of all... - I am not the original poster

[ In Reply To ..]
YOU MY DEAR, are a HYPOCRITE!!! No one would say such a thing about a FATHER, a MAN, who was offered a job that required traveling and you KNOW it!!

I am sick to death of how women are expected to have no other form of identity once they become mothers. This has NOTHING to do with how she feels about her son.

You are nasty, judgmental, and hypocritical.

Typical response. If you read closely I wasn't referring to your post. - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Climb down off your feminist horse and take off your blinders. The OP wants an out, it's obvious, and was hoping more would agree with her. Apparently some mothers want to spend as much time with their children as they can, no matter what the living situation may be. Others simply want to traipse around and play mother when it's convenient. It's not fair to the child; when you become a mother your priorities change. If they don't, please have your tubes tied so you won't be saddled with the responsibility.

HORSE HOCKEY!!! - SM

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WHERE IS IT WRITTEN...that a WOMAN who is a PARENT is not allowed to consider a high-paying job opportunity?

If a father was offered a high-paying job that entailed traveling, he would be congratulated. He would NOT be told what a bad parent he was, that he only wanted to "play father when it's conventient", or that he did not care about his children and was not putting them first. I'll also bet that you would not be telling him to have a vascectomy so he won't be "saddled with the responsibility". Get off YOUR high horse!!!

The only "out" that this woman is looking for is a way "out" from under food stamps, and into a way of being a better provider to her child.

But oh...how DARE she do that? Mothers are not allowed to have any interests; they are not allowed to get angry/frustrated, get sick, or spend one moment consider taking an opportunity which would allow her to provide her family with a better life. We're talking about her being away from home periodically and temporarily for a job. She is not going to the moon.

What a crock!!!

Otherwise known as polo. - nm

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x

There are many parts of parenting. If you have - the son's father who is willing

[ In Reply To ..]
to help, I think you also have a financial responsibility. I actually see more neglect in not being able to provide the basic necessities, i.e. food, housing, when there is another loving parent who is there to help. If your son is mature, he will know that you are doing what you have to do to provide a home of your own for him and food on the table. You do what you have to do. It is joint custody anyway. You might, like you said, can work it out to where you get to see him almost as much.

Good luck to you and your son with whatever decision you make. I will say, though, make it for yours and his (son) situtation, and leave the boyfriend out of the equation. I know you make like him and may be an extra benefit of the job but if not married and not really even dating, put your other priorities first.

It is not the same thing... - mmmmm

[ In Reply To ..]
traveling for whatever job you take to be with your boyfriend is absolutely NOT the same thing as going to Iraq or Afghanistan. If you take a traveling job, you can feel free to quit at any time without going to prison. A military member cannot. After they get out, they can still be called back for a period of time and sometimes, military members are not allowed to get out. It's called Stop Loss. At any rate, I don't really care what you do, but what you are talking about is NOT the same thing as being an active duty military member, no matter how much you would like to justify it.

You dare compare yourself to soldiers in Iraq? - Glorified Groupie

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Selling overpriced band t-shirts is not the "same difference" at all.

That is disgusting!! - Completely uncalled for!

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I'm reporting your post. There is absolutely NO excuse for your vulgarity!!!

IMHO - AARPMom

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I understand what you are asking and why you are considering what you are doing. I don't even know if you continue to follow the responses as I can see this has invoked some rather strong responses.

Having walked in your shoes, my humble opinion is to cotinue to struggle until your son is older. I'm not judging you or trying to make you feel bad. If you want to know more, you can email me, but I'm not putting everything out for public viewing. Certainly go to meet with the woman to get more information. You can tell her you wish to wait 24-48 hours before accepting or declining the position. You would at least have more information then and be able to make an unhurried and rational decision. Just don't rush into anything.

Good for you. However, regarding your son, - see message

[ In Reply To ..]
if you have a "legal" custody/visitation arrangement, you might want to consult your attorney concerning teh "change" in visitation as it pertains to your job. Just because your ex might agree and say that the change in visitation can be worked around your job, it is best to have it in legal form. He could always try to go after you for full custody if you don't "show up" for your court-ordered visitation. Better safe and sorry. You can always stay in touch with your son as you do now by phone while on the road.

Also, be aware that if you are making more money, he will probably go after more child support, so you will probably be going to court again anyway.

Congratulations on your new opportunity and I hope everything works out.

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