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Severe depression and anxiety


Posted: May 16, 2016

This is going to be all over the place, but please bear with me. I have to get this out. I've been fighting severe depression since I lost my dad, and that was in 2011. I went for months and months not even wanting to get out of bed, waking up and immediately having a panic attack. Who has a panic attack when they first wake up? It seems as thought negative life events have just piled up so far, that I don't have the energy or the motivation to care anymore. I was molested twice when I was around 7 years old and then again at 11 by trusted family members, one of them my dad's brother-in-law and favorite fishing partner, and I worshipped the ground my dad walked on. So if this uncle did this to me (and I had no idea what was happening and didn't even have the words to tell anyone) then in my child's mind, it must have been okay with my father. Of course that's not true, but I didn't know that then. I grew up promiscuious. I had a brother who was five years younger that my parents doted on, and my mom STILL makes it painfully obvious whom she prefers. I've had six counselors, 3 husbands, the husbands all either emotionally and/or physically abusive and the older I am, the more difficult it all is to deal with. I matured early, around 11, and my family never talked about the body below the neck, and I'm not exaggerating. When I started my period, my father handed me a pamphlet. My mother never said a word, never taught me anything about my body or anything else. Here's an example of my mother's favoritism. Not too long ago, I went to see her one morning. I grabbed a cup, aiming to pour some coffee. She said in a very hateful way, "That's Dennis' cup"! You've got to be kidding me, right? Nope. From that point on, I stopped trying to please her. I also thought back to when I was growing up and the blatant favoritism I lived with. She's older and more frail now. When I try to help her in and out of the car or hand her anything, she can't jerk her hand away fast enough. When my brother does the same thing, she looks at him with adoration as if God himself stepped down to help her. My dad didn't show it as much. I was very close to my father, and it just about killed me when he died in 2011. Now, I just don't care about pleasing her very much, and I feel guilty because of that. She's old and won't be around much longer, but I don't know what else I can do to try to get her to like me. Maybe I should just accept it and try to forget about it. When I say I matured early, I looked like a 16-year-old at 11 years of age, and my extended family made me feel awful because of it. Yet, they never tried to talk to me or teach me anything, nothing. Yet, they would say disparaging things to me such as, "don't try to trap a boy." I didn't even know what they were talking about except I knew whatever it was, it was wrong, and it had to do with me. I've always felt very inferior to everyone, and I still do at this late stage of my life. I feel I HAVE to please men or they won't like me, so I will bend over backward for approval, and I can't seem to stop. I've gone to counseling so much that I don't see how it can help me. I know what's right in my head, but my heart disagrees. I don't expect any answers from anyone but I just had to get this out one more time. There's so much more, but I'm trying to be merciful. I have good qualities. I love animals, growing plants and flowers, and that's pretty much all I'm good at. I'll soon be 63 years old. I wonder if there's something about me that just can't wade through all that my family did, some of it without realizing what they were really doing to me. You know what else? They don't want to hear about the molestation. I guess it makes them uncomfortable, and maybe it's not fair of me to bring it up now, so I just don't try. Once again, it just feels like I'm putting a burden on others. It sounds like a pity party doesn't it? Yep, it does, but to all who take the time to read, thank you. Maybe there's someone else out there who went through something similar growing up who's figured a way to help themselves. If so, I would appreciate hearing about it. Thank you again for listening. ;

If you work at home, I suggest getting a job - outside the home

[ In Reply To ..]
I was curled up in a ball on the sofa in tears and I thought I would NEVER feel normal or sane.

I started going to a dance class and I got a job outside of the home.

I'm by no means perfect and I definitely have my moments, but if I didn't have my job and my exercise as a form of socializing and release, I would still be curled up on the couch.

And yes, I take medication. Yes, I go to counseling. These in combination with responsibilities of work and being around people have helped me extensively.

I hope you find your peace!

Some things that may (or may not) help: - Been There

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I know these ideas are somewhat simplistic, but quite a few of them have helped me cope with some of the problems:

Getting Out of Bed: Hard to do, because my dream-life has always been more interesting than real life. Also, I hated the place I once worked inhouse. I got myself out of bed each day by leaving a chocolate chip cookie in the bathroom before going to bed each night. If I got up, I could have the cookie.

Having a pet that depends on me and needs to be fed also gets me up. If I fail to get up, my cat comes and jumps up and down on me and says, "Get up, you lazy bed slug!" Very effective.

Hating Your Job, or Where You Live: I once had both things going on at the same time. What helps me to feel better is to begin putting together an "exit strategy". Even if I have no intention of using it. I found that simply jotting down some ideas for how to get a different job, or a different apartment, made me feel like I had an Ace up my sleeve that I could fall back on if need be. Very comforting.

Pros and Cons: Making any kind of a big decision is nearly impossible even when I'm not depressed. I found it extremely helpful to have a little notebook with the pros on one page, and the cons on another, of whatever decision I was trying to make. I once had a second job outside of MT that I had loved for years - it was my perceived identity. But eventually I started to get bored with it, but felt guilty about giving it up because I felt that people depended on me. So, rather than make a rash decision, I started my Pros & Cons list. Eventually the "Cons" outnumbered the "Pros" about 5-to-1, and when I was ready to get out of that line of work, I felt at peace with the idea.

Depression: I've had it since I was a kid, and it runs in my family. After several really debilitating bouts of it in the mid-1990's, I talked to a couple of counselors. They weren't psychiatrists, just counselors that we got to see through our healthcare plan at work. Nice people, but they didn't really "get it".

I finally talked to my primary care doctor, who listened to me and prescribed a trial of an SSRI. For some people that doesn't help, but for me it was a godsend. It doesn't make depressive episodes completely go away, but on that med they're much fewer, milder, and farther between. Best of all, it allows me to step back and count to ten before I do anything rash.

The thing about counseling and/or psychiatry is it's hit-or-miss when it comes to finding the right person. If you talk to someone and they just don't get you, or don't seem helpful, keep on looking for someone else.

Daily Life: It sounds dumb, but at the end of each day I congratulate myself on whatever it is during that day that I have successfully accomplished. I may have done a slew of things, which is great, or I may have only managed to wash half of the dirty dishes in the sink. Even so, I tell myself how great it is to have that many clean dishes, and how much greater it'll be to clean up the rest tomorrow.

Try attacking to-do lists or household chores one small thing at a time. Looking at the big picture will drive anyone nuts! Especially if you're on the A.D.D. spectrum like I am, and you end up working all day and by nightfall you haven't completed one project. Now THAT is depressing! LOL But even if all I do is pick up a toilet brush and clean the toilet that day, that's a bona fide accomplishment! It truly DOES make me feel better at the end of the day.

Do less tasteful tasks on a day and at a time that works best for YOU. I found that when my depression (which was manifested by extreme irritability) was in force, the worst time to go to the supermarket was around 5 pm on a workday. Gaahhh! Long checkout lines full of stressed out working moms and their hyperactive, screaming daycare kids! I make time in the morning on a weekday. MUCH better. Other times I'd go to our 24-hour Safeway at midnight. Also much more peaceful and serene.

Do What You Love As Often as Possible: Granted, when depression is in full force, one of the side-effects is that you don't get any joy out of doing what you normally like to do. But if you can do something, ANYTHING, that you enjoy for even a few minutes, it helps to start the "re-set" process. I love to walk around the neighborhood. It always does me a ton of good; the hard part, however, is just getting my butt out the front door. I can help myself make the decision to get moving by simply going through the motions of putting on my walking shoes while watching TV or having lunch, dinner or breakfast. Another trick is having my garbage or recycling sitting by the front door. I take it out to the dumpster, and then I just keep on going, and take my walk. Once I'm outside I always feel a lot more energized & motivated.

Rewards: I guess being hard on ourselves is part of the depressive cycle. I not only congratulate myself at the end of the day for ANY useful task I've completed, but if I'm having trouble sleeping because of ruminating about something bad that happened that day, or whatever, I try to stop and think about the things I'm LUCKY for:

- I have a roof over my head,
- and it has a killer view out the front window.
- I'm very healthy and active for someone my age.
- I have a great kitty-cat as a pet.
- My car may be old, but it runs great, and it's always been my dream-car - I can go down the street and look at other, newer cars, and I still wouldn't trade them for good ol' "Bessie".
- I don't have a lot of friends, but I prefer it that way. The ones I do have are loyal and trustworthy, and are there if I need them.
- My parents are gone, but I have a lot of great brothers and sisters. (I once heard a great saying: "A brother or sister is a friend given by Nature.") Very true.
- I look back on memories of past trips or other fun experiences and enjoy them.
- I don't overspend, but I do enjoy getting myself a little something every now and then.
- Gardening is always fun, useful, and very therapeutic!
- A bird-feeder, hummingbird feeder, and a bird bath are wonderful additions to the garden that bring hours of joy watching the birds.
- Creativity: Depression often slows the creative juices, but sometimes the opposite happens, too! I love to do embroidery, and some of my best needlework creations have been on those days when I couldn't bring myself to get out of the house. Several people I know who don't have any artistic talent at all have had a lot of fun and satisfaction out of adult coloring books and colored pencils. I like to doodle, especially when listening to something like a TV show or a video on YouTube. I got out my box of colored pencils and found I could bring those doodles to life without even thinking about it. So I guess "busy hands" are a good therapeutic tool for fighting depression.

It's Not Your Fault: Whenever you feel like being hard on yourself, remember that depression is not your fault. It just happens. Sometimes it's hereditary, sometimes not. Sometimes it's triggered by a bad experience in life, sometimes it comes completely out of left field - even to people with perfect lives and no trauma. Molestation most certainly isn't your fault, and has happened to more people than you probably know. Remind yourself that it wasn't YOUR fault or problem, but that of the person who did it. Then tell yourself this: "The best revenge is living well." Every time you get out and enjoy something in life, you are thumbing your nose at the person who wronged you in the past.

Great ideas! - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
I especially use the one you call "things you are LUCKY for," but I call it things I am grateful for. I may not have my dream house, but I have a roof over my head, a soft warm bed to sleep in, food in the refrigerator, a car that runs, etc. These seem like simple things that we all take for granted, but if we didn't have them, it would be rough.

Depression - anonyv

[ In Reply To ..]
I struggle with depression. I had verbal and emotional abuse, 1 incident of sexual abuse growing up. I am a recovering alcoholic, and all that has really helped me in my life is that I have finally gained the abiility to accept my past and forgive. This is easier said than done. I find that if I try to revist the past, I get into a dark place really fast and it just causes me more trouble. I have never felt that I fit in anywhere all my life, and that is a typical attribute of my addict personality,and you know what, I am kinda glad now that I don't. I am in my early 60s too. I do stay on an antidepressant, and I don't think it helps unless I skip it a few days and then I can really tell. I know how it is to really not want to get out of the bed. Sometimes I just have to put one foot in front of the other, and sometimes, I don't do too well with meeting my work production and other responsibilities, just makes me loathe myself worse. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone, but for me, if I go back and start thinking about painful things in my past, it just gets worse and worse. Hope this brings you some comfort.

FOO - Done that

[ In Reply To ..]
Dear MT2: I feel your pain and I am sorry. I might suggest, if you have not already done, read all you can on narcissistic personality disorder, especially malignant narcissistic mothers and the role their children play. It sounds as if your brother is the golden child and you the scapegoat? If you were like me, you were maltreated all of your life into your senior years by people who were supposed to love you. Self-esteem is almost nonexistent and depression is certainly present, turned on ourselves trying to process all of the abuse and lies we have been told about ourselves and believed. I am 54 and have cut all family ties coming up 2 years now. I am physically much better as well as psychologically better away from them. I too tried for years to prove myself, competed for love that should have been given unconditionally. I recognize I was placed into a role in early childhood. I am adult now and I don't let people in my life who do not deserve to be period. Take care of yourself and realize it was not your fault.

I don't have the good - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
advice the other posters gave you, and my childhood was okay. My mom is a bit narcissistic, but not to the point where she really puts me off (at least most of the time). There is one thing that you said in your post that stood out to me, and that was you love animals which translates to me that you are a wonderful, kind, loving person who still has hope somewhere inside of you. So, in my eyes you are golden.

Not much advice here - ...but

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I, too, have a history of paralyzing depression -- no need to go into details, I guess, but the episodes were severe and debilitating. Anyway, a friend once did this for me...

I called her and said, "I'm going into a depression again and am afraid. I can already feel myself going numb." She responded, "Well, who says you have to 'fix' it? I suggest that you give yourself permission FOR 24 HOURS to enjoy it. I mean, go as deep as you can, knowing that you have to STOP at 24 hours. In fact, I'll bring you homemade soup, some soft socks, and a great novel so you can at least have some comforting stuff around you while you suffer. But I WILL NOT allow you to continue after 24 hours." Mind you, I didn't have the concentration or will to read...only to sleep...but I appreciated the gesture.

It's the greatest thing anyone has ever done for me. When we feel guilty for letting depression overtake us, it just makes the problem bigger, as though we lack character. Some people even think we're feeling sorry for ourselves, which just increases the guilt.

Please understand that I'm not minimizing your situation. It sounds to me like your depression is a perfectly healthy reaction to your reality (you already know this, I'm sure). Give yourself permission to be sad and then try to congratulate yourself on responding appropriately. I applaud you for being able to talk about your pain and believe things will get better for you!

You have a lot of insight... - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
into your issues, which is the first step. I have suffered with depression for many years as well and am still discovering the roots of it in my 50s. I have done counseling and medications, but the thing that helped me the most is reading books by Eckhart Tolle. He was on Oprah several years ago and I read one of his books and it just spoke to me and my issues. I have another of his books as an audio book and listen to it for inspiration whenever I start feeling depressed again. What he teaches may not be helpful for everyone, but it changed my life and I just want to pass that along in case it could help you too.

Depression and anxiety - MT2

[ In Reply To ..]
Thank you all so much. I'm always amazed at the number of people who've endured molestation. When I was at my worst, I didn't even take a shower. I just could not/would not get up and do it. I'd stumble in and feed the kitties and then go back to bed. I don't believe anyone wants negative events to define them, and I don't want to, either. So, I am working hard. I went to my PCP, too, and he's been great to me. I'm on Wellbutrin, Prozac, and Klonopin, and that helps quite a bit, but it seemed to take a long time before I actually wanted to get out of bed. Yes, I almost lost my job, but my supervisor didn't fire me for some reason. She had every right to, so I'm grateful for that.

The being grateful for what you have is something I also work on. Some people have it so much worse. I can't go back and delve too deeply into the molestation, either, or I get a terrible feeling, cry, and so maybe I have some form of PTSD, just not sure.

Again, I want to thank all of you kind people for understanding and taking the time to talk to me. I have no one else to talk to, and so it means a lot to me.

I'll just keep trying to make that positive energy around me and make the most of life as best I can.

I did work outside of the house for many years before starting transcription, but now I have this fear of people, which is the next thing to work on. The meds do help tremendously, and I'm REALLY grateful for them. Fortunately, I have a sense of humor, and I try to use that as much as possible to get through the really rough days. Watching stand-up on youtube helps sometimes.

Thanks for listening, and, again, I can't tell you how much you've helped.

MT2, this never fails - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
to make me smile.

https://youtu.be/9wm-Ge8LL7o

This is the hard work - SM

[ In Reply To ..]
Complicated dynamics in early childhood can destroy the psyche of a child when parents have issues of their own. Add abuse and it's a boiling pot for a dysfunctional life for everyone involved. Robbing us of ability to live a simple life is nothing to sneeze at. But this is the work. You sleep because this is an exhausting state of mind, muscle tension, worry, rumination in order to deciphon communcation set to bring out a reaction such as lack of confidence - all mind destroyers. Sleep is good in that respect. You are stronger than you think. People tend to end up addicts and with nothing. They fill our parks. Parenting lessons should be offer din high school as personality disorders are no longer rare and a vulnerable child is left to live in a home they cannot relax in. There is nothing more stressful than having an inability to trust your environment. Hang in there. It gets better as you age when you solve the mystery (usually chain reaction human behavior) and understanding allows us to move beyond it and live a healthy routine (no bad men, compulsions) to get us through life - maybe like the 5 stages of grief in a way.

Wow, your life is a mirror of my life. My mom has - lost

[ In Reply To ..]
always favored my sister, I was molested as a child and wake up with panic attacks and have anxiety. I think panic attacks are a symptom of PTSD. My mom is old too and I feel guilty if I don't e-mail her back. She actually told me she would rather e-mail me than call me and hasn't called me in over 10 years. She lives by my sister in another state and spends all of her time with her. I have noticed whenever I distance myself from her even though it is just e-mails, I feel better. Until I read your post, I really felt alone in this world with my problems but your post helped me not feel alone. Please feel free to e-mail me any time and we can vent about our mothers. P.S.- I love animals too and i think it is because their love is the only thing my mom could not take from me.

Depression and anxiety - MT2

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm so sorry you went through and are still going through that with your mother. Sometimes, I guess mothers and daughters just don't like each other. I suppose mine loves me, but she surely doesn't like me at all. She almost seems to look at me as if she's in some kind of competition. I never understood and never will. I'll be happy to e-mail you sometime, and you please feel free to do the same.

To MT2... - Abby

[ In Reply To ..]
I just read your original post and was amazed how much we have similarly gone through. Molestation, add rape as a 13-year-old virgin, promiscuity, mother with preferential treatment to brother and losing a father who was a best friend.
I understand your frustration, anger and grief. Promiscuity, as you probably know, results from childhood rape or molestation because you have been given the message that you are only worth being around for sex. In your teen years, boys reinforce that concept, which severely impacts your self esteem. I'm your age and I will never get over that.

I see you are on several antidepressants. I don't know if you have heard of Dr. Keith Ablow. He is a psychiatrist advisor for Fox News and had his own TV show several years ago. I underwent counseling by email with Dr. Ablow and focussed on all the things you and I have been through. Basically his recommendations were to get evaluated by a psychiatrist to do a medication evaluation and manage your antidepressant medication and dosage. GPs are not that well trained in psychiatric pharmacology and it is kind of a trial and error with them, while a psychiatrist is needed to really get you on what will work. I did this and was put on Prozac (sertraline), which I think is on the $4.00 list at Walmart. I was still depressed, but with increase in the dose I got to a point where it was working.

One more suggestion: You have suffered tremendously from your mother's treatment. You also suffered from molestations, which you had no way of knowing were wrong at the time. This has robbed you of the self esteem you need to move forward. One thing you can do is be conscious of negative self talk because that is now who you are, it's what people have done to you. You are very articulate, intelligent and organized in recognizing what has happened to you and where you need to go. Every time a negative thought about yourself creeps into mind, replace it with a positive thought. This will take some practice to reverse the negative default which is to allow the negative thought. One you replace the negative thought and do it repeatedly, it will become default and it will be a big help in making positive changes.

Regarding the preferential mother: I know how damaging this is. When I was raped at age 13, I did not report it because I didn't have the terminology to describe what happened and I knew if I reported it to my mother I would be blamed for it as I was blamed for everything while "Golden Boy" could do no wrong. So when your mother does this, tell yourself it is her dysfunction and has nothing to do with the person you are.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. Mine was also my best friend and I lost him in 2004. I don't know how to advise you on that as I'm am still struggling with it. You may want to join a local grief counseling group. There are many and it doesn't matter how long ago the loss was.

My heart goes out to you.

Thank you. - lost

[ In Reply To ..]
x

depression - Martin M. Shaw

[ In Reply To ..]
Hi there, it was very sad reading all this. Well, I m glad that you survived through all this with positiveness.

What Helped Me - see msg

[ In Reply To ..]
I won't go into my long abuse story, but it was bad and over a long period of time; unspeakable abuse by both parents. Yes, both my biological parents.

Anyway, I found me a really good psychotherapist and he worked with me on a sliding scale that made it affordable to me. I think one of the most helpful things he said to me was this (I'll explain first). I asked him "Why did they do this to me?" He said, "I don't know, but it had nothing to do with you." My eyes opened up, my chest opened up, and I felt an incredible sigh of relief.

SO, this had nothing to do with me. Here, I had been taking it personally.

That one comment sent me on the road to really coming around. I had already been in the therapy a long time and had many pivotal moments,but that was one of the moments that really struck me, stuck with me, and helped me move on.

I recommend to people who have been abused in any way for a long time to get a good psychotherapist. Anyone can hang a shingle that says counselor or therapist. This guy was well educated, had a Ph.D in his field and a lot of clinical experience.

I finished up therapy probably 20 years ago, and I write him letters now and then on how I'm doing. I even visited him one time (planned) 10 years post therapy to update him on my goings on, and to let him know that to this day, I'm doing great thanks to him.

I don't know if this helped you---I think anything any of us brings to the table can give you a sign that there is hope. Stories are different, how we healed is different, but in the end, maybe something will spark and you will find your way to living a free life. I, too, had depression and anxiety so bad, I could barely spit (drool maybe!). I am a happy and free person now, and I believe you can be, too.

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Please pray that my anxiety would get better as I plan a baby shower for my daughter and first grandchild. I knew I would be a mess as it got closer but I keep trying to do normal things knowing I really can't with my severe anxiety issues. Not sleeping and feel terrible and not sure how i will get through until Sunday - Thanks. ...

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Semi-controlled on medications.  Nothing like this has ever happened to me before.  I had to go to the ER because I had so much anxiety I thought I would have a heart attack.  They just gave me Zofran and valium and sent me home, telling me to follow up with ENT and/or neurology.   I had a CT (negative) and an MRI, which I had to repeat because they wanted to get a closer look at my pineal gland.  Now, I'm terrified I might have some kind of a brain tumor becau ...

Anxiety Antidote (for 56 Seconds, Anyway)Aug 08, 2013
Baby hedgehog cleans her feet. http://www.wimp.com/hedgehogcleans/ ...

Need Prayer For Anxiety DisorderJul 20, 2014
I would really appeciate your prayers for both my daughter and myself.  We both suffer from anxiety disorder.  I have had this my whole life, and it has made life difficult, but even more difficult is seeing my 23-year-old daughter struggle with this also.  I have been praying for years, but so far my prayers have gone unanswered.  I am trying to stay optimistic, but it is really difficult sometimes.  thank you so much for your prayers ...

Anxiety/panic Attack TechniquesAug 08, 2013
I've had medication and it works, but I don't want to go down that road again. After 3 years of not having any attacks or problems, they're back. :(  I don't know why, but I thought the problem was gone forever after I left a troubled relationship.  Something went wrong last month and I've been teetering on the edge ever since. I'm thinking of buying a biofeedback machine. Has anyone tried it? I've been trying to do meditation and I know it's ...

Adjustment Disorder With Anxiety And Depressed Mood Jun 17, 2015
is my (MT-related) dx after finally visiting a shrink last week.  One of these days, I'm optimistically hoping to be "adjusted" again, in a new field!  Not that I'm not a good MT, I have confidence that I'm very good at what I do, but it's just -- you know. Thanks for reading. This forum is the only place I have any communication at all with "coworkers," and I can't begin to tell you how much I value it.  It lets me know I'm still sane.   : ) ...

Depression, What To Do?Sep 22, 2011
As horrible as it sounds, I hate my job.  We have new QA's and they're horrible.  Nine years of working for the same company and I suddenly find myself unable to get out of bed in the morning.  I'm so tired all the time and dread working.  I'm lucky to have a job and naturally can't quit it but does anyone have any suggestions on how to pull yourself out of this funk? I've started getting out once a day and walking and that takes all I have but t ...

DepressionMar 09, 2010
How many people get circumstantial depression from this job?  I find working at home is very isolating and depressing.  Working at home does not benefit me, it benefits the hospital and companies.  What do you do to keep from getting burned out?  Lets be real - this job is boring, very boring.  What can you do to combat the boredome?  Maybe I've just been doing this too long.  I feel isolated and bored everyday.  Like I'm just a number to them wh ...

DepressionJul 07, 2011
 For those of you who suffer with depression (like me) can you share your experiences with medications (good and bad)?  I've tried Effexor, Wellbutrin, Pristiq and some others, but I haven't been able to find the right fit yet.     ...

DepressionJun 05, 2010
I have had depression for as long as I can remember.  For the past few months I have been keeping to myself and avoiding much socialization.  As those of you who have major depresssion know,  it is a hard cycle to break.  I cannot take antidepressants; have tried them all.  I become worse and have suicidal ideation on the medications.  There have been several  issues in my own life and some also with close family members that are making the depression worse.&n ...

DepressionSep 07, 2013
I need prayers and I hate to ask, no idea why.  After 12 years of marriage, I don't think I can take it anymore.  He's extremely verbally abusive and the weekends are horrible.  I dread 5:00 when it's time for him to come home from work.  It has gotten worse since I've been out of work as an MT, as are many of course.  The stress has gotten to the point to where my hands turn blackish/blue and my doctor has told me that I have got to get rid of the st ...

Depression Is NotMay 20, 2016
I remember at the worst of my depression, people would say, even church goers that I was feeling sorry for myself. Then I would get the you are not a victim. I beg to differ about the victim. At any rate, I got mad when people would say that I was feeling sorry for myself and I stopped going to church if the pastor would say that in a sermon. That is one of the worst things anyone can say to someone. It is not guilt I felt as much as anger that my own Christian brothers and sisters in Chri ...