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Depression
Posted: Sep 7, 2013
I need prayers and I hate to ask, no idea why. After 12 years of marriage, I don't think I can take it anymore. He's extremely verbally abusive and the weekends are horrible. I dread 5:00 when it's time for him to come home from work. It has gotten worse since I've been out of work as an MT, as are many of course. The stress has gotten to the point to where my hands turn blackish/blue and my doctor has told me that I have got to get rid of the stress before possible amputation (Raynaud's.) I don't know how much more I can take and having no job makes it hard to get up and leave. He's cut off my credit cards and now says he'll cancel my car insurance since it's on his policy. He's a control freak and now tries to control what I buy at the grocery store on the few times he gives me his credit card. I really can't take anymore.
;
That's abuse! You need to seek help and get out of there. - Jay
[ In Reply To ..]Your health is in jeopardy. Is there anyone you can turn to? Can you call an agency? I know that in some locations around the US there are people set up to help women in abusive situations. (They provide safe environment, counseling, career help.) Please reach out! Don't let yourself talk yourself out of doing something. Sometimes we're too embarrassed to tell anyone because we worry about them passing judgment or thinking we're failures. Try to envision the same scenario as yours, but imagine if it was someone else, a friend, a cousin, a younger sister. What advice would you give her? Treat yourself kindly and with compassion, too, because you deserve it! Please seek help! There is another life out there, but you need to start opening the door. Somebody will WANT to help.
My depression - Texas
[ In Reply To ..]There are agencies that will give you a place to say for a few weeks, but I've been looking for a job for almost and year and no luck so after a few weeks I'd be homeless. I know it sounds crazy but, I can't leave my pets. They're 14 and 15 and he's pretty mean to them at times and I do fear he'd just open the gate and let them run. No agency will take you with pets. It's a job I need and then I can get out. Dallas doesn't have much to offer and so many are paying pennies, which is why I got out of MT work, and I left a few years ago and came back due to having no money and literally starving. I'm wanting out so badly.
I'd still try to find something for your situation. - IGetIt
[ In Reply To ..]I know exactly what you're saying about your pets, but I'm worried for you. Is there an agency to help displaced homemakers type of thing? Can you get a student loan or qualify for grants and get into coding? You can do that from home. Have you tried getting on with general transcription? What about working as a nanny or dog sitter, dog walker? It might take a combination of part-time work, but you might be able to get into a small apartment or something. Don't give up! Keep watching for possibilities on CraigsList. Oh, what about home health aide? Some of the agencies pay for or provide the training. I saw one paying almost $10.50 an hour, which is not fabulous, but it's better than nothing! Please keep your chin up and keep trying!
See a Lawyer ASAP - there are laws
[ In Reply To ..]Please pick up the phone and make an appointment. If the dogs are concern, call a no-kill shelter, they may take your dogs and adopt them out, or possibly have a list of volunteers who might keep your animals for you.
You husband is responsible for your support by the way, he can be compelled to provide for you. You have the right to take on debt if necessary for your food, shelter, medical expenses (and car insurance) and he is legally responsible for those debts. (The same would be true if he were unemployed and disabled, and you were working.)
contact the local House of Ruth - they can help!!
[ In Reply To ..]please keep us updated!
Raynaud's - me
[ In Reply To ..]Do you have other symptoms, like arthritis? Have you been diagnosed with systemic scleraderma, or lupus RA? You might be able to get on disability right away. My ex had systemic scleroderma and was quickly put on SSDI, cut through all the red tape, Look into it right away. Your doctor has all the medical info and you maybe want to get that info and apply with the social security department or call them, or interview with them. You may not even need a lawyer because Raynaud's is serious. Were you told to put your hands into running water every day to keep your circulation intact? The doctor prescribed Viagra for my ex husband. I don't know what they do for women. You are more important than your dogs right now. If you are desperate you should know where you can go for safety and help with your disability. Please let us know how you're doing.
Nitroglycerin - Raynauds, SS
[ In Reply To ..]I've read a lot about Raynauds after being given a differential diagnosis of systemic sclerosis after bowel resection (muscularis propia in disarray with wide mouth diverticula throughout resectioned portion of bowel). Nitroglycerin which is used in many forms to dilate vessels was one woman's method.
Stress is a no-no for connective tissue disease.
And by the way, after this long of a marriage, he should be the one who is made to go. What a jerk he is. A joy destroyer. My brother was like this, just miserable all of the time. I did not see him for 20 years because of his explosive outbursts which ruined every event and holiday.
Kick the guy out of the house, get a restraining order and alimony and see a rheumatologist to apply for disability.
Good luck. I am in a house with 6 pets, 1 stray I just found who was starving is temporarily here - so I know how pets can mean so much. I'd walk the streets to pay my mortgage because I just cannot imagine life beyond this at my age (55).
Stay strong.
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