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A question for parents


Posted: Sep 1, 2016

There are so many lessons that we as parents want to teach our children, but I'd love to hear your answer to this question, based on a hypothetical scenario: You are the parent of a 7-year-old child. You've learned from your doctor that you have a terminal illness, with at most a year left to shape your child's future. There's no time for anything but the essentials. You must spend the time wisely. What one, or at most two, character trait(s) would, to you, be the most critical lessons or values that you would want to instill in your child as your legacy? ;

My 2 cents - Rusty

[ In Reply To ..]
1. To always help someone, anyone, if they need it and be humble and nice about it. There is always going to be someone less fortunate than you, so help, even if it is a little thing, and try to do that everyday. (my dad died when I was very young back in the early 60s, and mom had us 3 kids, and then brought in another one to raise. we never had much, but we always helped out our neighbors, friends, church, and anyone who needed it). And to quote Tim McGraw, always be humble and kind.
2. Work hard and choose a career/job that you love because you will be spending most of your time there. I know a 7 y/o might not understand, but in time they will, so never too early to learn good work habits, whether at home with chores or at school with school work.

Deep question.

Thoughts - maybe

[ In Reply To ..]
My mom died when I was 4. She basically had no notice of actually dying but was sick for a few months. She wrote everything she was thinking, a diary of her illness, child raising suggestions, ideas, what she did, what she heard about, etc. My dad remarried a couple years later, and we were taught early how to run a household and a good work ethic. Things like that tend to stay with a person lifelong.

Do what is right and a sense of self-worth - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Been there--the child. I am thankful that I had my mom for awhile. I would often think, "What would my mom do/think?" My inner voice always told me to do the right thing, whatever it may be. Work hard, be true to yourself/do the right thing. She told me to be good a music I should practice a half hour every day. I was terrified at recitals. I practiced a half hour every day all on my own and got an A at a state music contest in 7th grade, a competition that was dominated by 10th through 12th grade student.

The other thing was to always value yourself, you physical and inner being. I may have fallen on my face a few times here. It always irks me when I hear someone telling me "you need self-esteem." Well, you don't have self-esteem unless you have learned that you have value and someone telling you this just does not cut it.

One thing I remember is her telling me we are all the same, we will all die and we will all pay taxes.

And blueberry pie is a good thing.

Honesty and compassion for others. - CalifMT

[ In Reply To ..]
I still remember the day my mom gave all of us a lesson in honesty that we never forgot.

You shall love the Lord your God - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself. Luke 10:27

That encompasses it all.

This is all that matters, - isn't it?

[ In Reply To ..]
Anything else is folly.

My brother's experience - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Twenty years ago, my brother's wife was diagnosed with ALS while pregnant with their third child. They already had 2 daughters, ages 5 and 8, and Katy died soon after the baby was born. ALS was a terrible process to watch. Some people live longer with this disease, but Katy died within 12 months of the diagnosis.

Now, if it had been me, I probably would have made recordings or written letters to my children to read later, or given them lots of advice, but not Katy. Her legacy, however, was in the way she met her demise, with confidence, faith, a sure knowledge that she was saved, a genuine joy that radiated, and patience with her functional losses. She LOVED being a mom and would have blushed to know how well her children have grown up. Her third child, her only son, has absolutely no memory of her.

This - oldmare

[ In Reply To ..]
All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.
These are the things I learned:

Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk at about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.
[Source: "ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN" by Robert Fulghum.

This is great! - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I think I will paint this on my next palette board. Thanks for reminding me sometimes we overthink things, and thanks for the memories (don't eat the paste).

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