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Aren't your parents supposed to help you ......


Posted: Dec 10, 2009

Why can't I have a dad who helps me sometimes instead of me having to always be the one helping him?  I need to VENT!  My dad is a bum who basically lives off others.  Since my mom divorced him, due to the fact she was footing all the bills, it was either he had to get a job and take care of himself or live however he could.  Well, he is determined not to get a job.  So he lived in a shed for a while.  When I asked him why he didn't ask a certain man I knew would hire him for a job he said "because I don't work 9 to 5 jobs like that."  So I thought well, why should I help you if you won't help yourself?  So he lived in the shed.  When it got cold some old man who felt sorry for him brought him his camper to stay in.  So now he is staying in it.  Thing is, he is right next door.  My mom lives next door also.  See when they divorced the land (10 acres) was split.  He got some, and she got some.  She has a house on part of the land and he has his part of the land.  I live on the land because when I first got married they told me I could put a mobile home on the land and one day it could be my land.  Well with him staying right next door, me or my mom either one never get any peace.  He is constantly knocking on the door wanting to know if he can get something to eat or this or that.  When he needs to wash clothes he won't go buy detergent.  He asks me for detergent or bleach.  He also asks me for soap.  He makes money piddling here and there and won't go buy things he needs.  Instead he bums things he needs.  If he couldn't do any different I wouldn't mind giving him anything, but he isn't trying.  He was given a place to stay.  Someone else pays his electricity bill because the man felt sorry for him cause he had no lights and got them turned on but I have heard through the grapevine that "friend" said he is tired of paying it and he nevers trys to help out when he gets any money.  He is so imposing.  My mom and me were leaving in a hurry tonight and he comes walking over there and mama said look I am in a hurry what do you need.  He said did you cook anything?  Mama said if you want it I have a hamburger pattie and bun from earlier.  I will hand it to you but I am in a hurry so tell me yes or no now.  He said well can't you heat it up for me.  (He has a microwave, mind you).  She said I just told you I am leaving, and I am in a hurry, no I will not heat it up for you.  If you are hungry take it and heat it yourself.  He says no then I don't want it and you are going to he** too for treating me this way.  Mama said oh please.  I offered you food if you choose not to take it cause you want it warmed for you then go hungry.  It is things like that that make me want nothing to do with him.  If we are having a family dinner and we don't ask him cause mama and him are divorced and she prefers not to have him around her because he is nuts, he will invite himself.  He will literally walk over there and walk in if the door is not locked and go in there and help himself.  The only way my mom can keep him out of her house is to lock the door at all times.  I have told her the only solution is to put the house up for sell and get away from him.  She loves her house and is resistant to sell.  I said well as long as you stay you are just gonna have him pestering you.  Believe me, the first chance I get to move, I am out of here.  I mean it won't be fast enough.  I think when I move one day my mom will be more apt to move too.  I think she hasn't because of me being here.  I hope to be gone within the next year.  I just don't know what on earth to do.  He acts like he is an invalid and he intrudes and imposes himself on anything you do.  If my mom comes over here he follows her.  It is so outrageous.  I have told him before not to come to my house uninvited anymore because he has said some bad things about my mom.  It goes in one ear and out the other.  He will come the next day like you never said anything.  He told me one time, I know you don't want me here.  And I am thinking why in the world do you keep coming then?  My mom is sick of it and so am I.  I just hope I can afford to move soon.  I have never seen someone who expected everybody to give him everything.  I don't think there is anther person on the planet like him.  My sister lives 1-1/2 hours away, and I envy her.  She no longer has anything to do with him because of the way he is, a bum and a moocher.  And when we tell him about a job he won't even inquire about it.  I am so fed up.  Just needed to vent.  Sorry so long. 

;

Sorry to hear about your problems - huh?

[ In Reply To ..]
I got to reading your post and it took me back to what I call the old days. See, both my parents were alcoholics and my mom actually was the bum. My dad wasn't much better, but he lived with his family after my mom divorced him. He had a job until he had a stroke and was disabled.

Mom on the other hand didn't wish to work. She wanted to be taken care of and to drink when and where and how much she wanted. I let her live with me twice. Yeah, go figure.

First time, she moved out on her own because she figured out I could not support her and she could not get booze.

Second time, I had to literally kick her out on the street. It was wintertime and she came home drunk. She started cussing at me and my son who was 3 at the time. She refused to leave so I had to call the police on her.

Needless to say, it breaks your heart to see your parents that way. Still, you have to care for yourself, and your children if you have any. You have to do what you need to do.

My mother then went on to other family members to bother. The sad part is, a year later she was diagnosed with cancer and it was inoperable. She passed in a nursing home and the last thing she asked for was a beer and a cigarette. I know it sounds cold, but some people will not change, even if you bend over backwards to help them. Once you have tried all you can for them and it is not enough, it is time to cut them loose and let them do it on their own.

It is so hard... - anonymous

[ In Reply To ..]
It is really hard to watch your parent just be a bum and go here and there bumming food and this and that. It is also fustrating when you know they can do better but don't want to work to do better. My dad will do ANYTHING to keep from working. He wishes to be taken care of by someone else. He for some reason thinks he was not put on this earth to work like everybody else does and therefore we should just take care of him. Well I type my fingers off for hours on end. My husband drives thousands of miles away from home. We HAVE to do this to live and eat. Why does he think he is any different than anyone else is. That is what I want to know? What makes him so special that he shouldn't have to work. His famous words are there are no jobs but I know there have been times when he could have had a job and wouldn't take it. And if you corner him and say here is one and it is something you can do then it's I don't work jobs like that.
Glad to see someone who can relate. It sucks. I sit here and I wonder if people think I am a horrible daughter but I know I am not.

Wow...what a tough situation to be in - heres my thoughts

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Why don't you and your mom seriously (and I mean seriously) look for another place. Find a place, whether its an apartment, a house for rent, duplex, whatever but get the heck away from there. You said your mom loves her house, but does she love her house more than having a peaceful life. There are always other houses that are just as nice. It sounds like your dad is taking all the joy of living away from you both. I don't know what your financial status is, or your work status, or whether you are married with children or what. Its sounds like by the post you are single. Why don't you and your mom pull up the newspapers, craigslist, anything on line and seriously hunt for a place to move to. Sell the house or rent it and use that rent money to pay for new rent somewhere else away from him. It sounds like you've tried telling your dad to basically leave you both alone and he won't, which leads me to believe (of course I don't know for sure), but leads me to believe he's got a few emotional/psychological problems he needs to deal with. Maybe by you and your mom moving away it will force him to deal with his own life.

Don't know what to tell you, except put everything you and your mom have got together and get the heck out of there so you can both have peace of mind.

Thanks for the reply - anonymous

[ In Reply To ..]
I am seriously gonna move one way or the other. I am very serious about wanting to move, and I will eventually. Now, my mom, it may take me leaving to get her to make a move. She loves her house, but personally I have told her I would rather live anywhere than have to deal with this nonsense.
He is taking a lot of the joy out of not only my life but my husband's also. And of course my mom. I am married, but my husband is a truck driver so he is gone a lot. My financial status is not very good. I mean I work five days and some weeks 7 days a week doing MT. My husband works a lot but you know it seems to be hard to save much. See I just started getting paychecks back in after being without a job for a while so our savings is very small.
Yes, we have all tried telling him, and basically anyone with a brain at all would get the hint, but like you said I believe he has issues. Actually I don't believe, I know. My mom told him numerous times flat out I don't want you around me or my house. Don't come back. I have told him before not to come to my house. My husband has told him before in no kind terms to get a life but didn't say it so nice. I have had him put in jail for harrassing my mom (she had to sign the papers but I called). He knew I am the one who did it and yet the next day when he got out of jail he came in my yard where we were out feeding our dogs and I walked up to see why he was here and he said oh just come over here. I said well you can just leave. I told him I no longer want you coming over here. He said okay and left. Then 2 days later came back. So I mean it is kind of hard when you can't get it through someone's head that you don't want them around. He won't accept it. It works out so well for my sister. He never bothers her cause he isn't willing to drive 1-1/2 hours and usually does not have the gas if he wanted to. So, that is the solution, moving, and I will do it as soon as my pocketbook will allow me. Now that I am working again hopefully it won't be too long.

This is the same thing I have said many times - L

[ In Reply To ..]
Only you and you alone can let someone else take advantage of you. I love my peace and quiet. There is no way that anyone and I mean anyone would take advantage of me like your father is doing. Not only you, but your mother permits it as well. Both of you need to stand up for yourself. I had a father who asked me to come and live with him after his wife died. My father said cutting and ugly remarks to me about my weight, etc. even in front of other people. When he asked me to do that, I turned him down without even a passing thought, told him we were like oil and water, did not mix. Why would I subject myself to being around him 24/7? Daddy, mother, child, makes no difference. If someone treats you wrong, then you let go. If he does not want to take care of himself, you nor your mother are not responsible. I would be out of this situation so fast it would make your head spin. There is no home that I love so much to give up my sanity.

Lock your doors and call the police if he bothers you!...nm - no

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

needs a brain scan - not normal

[ In Reply To ..]
Sounds like he needs a brain scan. After he has that and is in the hospital you can get the social worker involved. There is something wrong with him physically. This is very far beyond just bad behavior.

I don't know either of you - But

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IMO, it sounds a little selfish. I mean this i no other way then just an observation. You are belittleing him for mooching and not wanting to help himself, yet you yourself are living on borrowed land, so to speak. I don't know weather you paid for it or not but most children who live on their parents land have not. It is your father, he is living on HIS land. If he asks for a "heated sandwhich" give him one and ask if there is anything else he needs. You would not be standing here today if were not for your mom AND him. I don't think I could live if one of my children acted this way to me jsut because they thought I was "lazy" or a "moocher". Children "mooch" from their parents until they are 18 and sometimes far beyond that, i.e. living on their land. Give him a break.

I am so disagreeing with the mooching part on behalf of - children, they did not ask to be here

[ In Reply To ..]
It is the parent's responsibility who got that child here to take care of it. Since when do you get a child mooching just because a parent is supposed to take care of them?

Call it what you will - It is just a term

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I know parents are suppose to take care of their children. How ever you look at it, living, mooching, taking it is still fine and acceptable. Parents do it all the time. From the time their kids are born till they get out on their own, when they are 25 and their car breaks down and they don't have any money, if they need food, clothes, shelter, water ANYTHING AT ALL, We, as parents bend over backwrads to help them. If your kid does not return the favor, if the event arises, then they weren't raised worth a crap. Family is family and it is not a one way street. Unless your a selfish person who thinks they are entitled to something that her poor Dad is not.
yes, I agree! When parents are old, children have to help!...nm - vrvr
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nm

I agree that IF somebody should take care of him...sm - IMO

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it should be the daughter, as he is her father.
The mother is not a blood relative of his and she is divorced.

Parents are forever!

mooching? - MT way too long

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How can you call your children moochers until they are 18? They did not ask to be born. It is your responsibility to take care of your kids and raise them to become responsible adults. With your attitude, you will be one lonely old lady! Mooching!!!!!!! How cold you are!

Observation - guessing though

[ In Reply To ..]
I notice a lot of "Mamma" talk. Mama this andn Mama that, but when you muster up the strength to mention your father it is just Dad. Why I bring this up is that in my experience, a child who refers to her Mom as "Mama" has been raised to do so. That is fine and all but I am just thinking that your were raised not to have a very high opinion of your father your whole life with "Mama" being the bread winner and he would have failed by comparison to anything she ever done no matter what he did. I am only concluding this by listening to your words.

Didn't you post this same story some months ago? - Same scenario

[ In Reply To ..]
The is the same story of a few months ago, the shed, the camper, everything!!

So you are still struggling with the exact same problems? Were you truly looking for an answer or just sympathy?

Perhaps counseling would help you more than the enormous amount of responses you have received on this board.

posted this same story 3 or 4 times in the past - tristen

[ In Reply To ..]
Every couple of months this story is posted, same scenario, same story, so no apparently op does not want things to change because the story stays the same every time.

The reason you pick up that subtle difference ... - anonymous

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Is because growing up it was a well known fact my dad didn't like kids. He loved his kids BUT he didn't like us as kids I don't think because he don't like kids. He will tell you quick he don't. Well growing up he never wanted to be around me or my sister cause he said kids get on his nerves. So he NEVER took up any time with us. If my mom was going somewhere and I didn't want to go for example she could not leave me with him because he wouldn't have it. I never even rode in a car anywhere with him unless my mama was with us because he would never take me anywhere nor let me stay in the house with him if mama wasn't there. He made it clear he didn't want to be bothered with me. If I tried to tell him or mama something he would cut me off at times and say look go play or something. I KNEW as a child he did not want to be bothered with me and I knew he told my mama he didn't want kids to begin with. So how can I be close to a man who never would let me? And I tried to be close to him. When he was home a lot of times I went in my room because I KNEW he didn't want me around him. You pick up on things like that even as a child. On the other hand my mama gave me enough love for both of them. She took time with me and made sure I knew she loved me and never made me feel like a bother to her. So that is why I am partial to her and not him. He never let me be. As long as he and mama were married he never was close to me either. He has never even wanted to carry on a converstation with me until the last year and a half. I remember going over next door to borrow a cup of sugar probably 5 years ago. You know what I heard him say in his bedroom? Tell her to go her a$$ back to her house. She ain't coming over here. I don't feel like being bothered." I got my cup of sugar and left. I am sure mama got on his case after I left but that is how I was always treated by him. As a big bother. Now that he don't have mama anymore to be with he suddenly wants to be close to me. And hey, I am good to him. I give him food. I am not that cold to let him starve. But that is why I feel more partial to my mama. She showed me unconditional love at all times. Didn't mean to ramble out some long line of stuff but I wanted to let you know why there is that difference there when referring to him and my mama that you noticed.

problems - wondering

[ In Reply To ..]
After reaidng all your posts, I think you just need to find a good counselor and work out all your anger, problems, etc. That is if you desire to work them out or do you just like to complain?

You live on HIS land? He could have sold the land, then you would...sm - vrvr

[ In Reply To ..]
not have a mobile home on his, or their land.
Isn't it your duty to take care of your father (not your mother's as she is divorced) since you are and will always be his daughter, and he will give you HIS land when he dies, as he already promised?

YOU should reheat his sandwich and take care of thim!

no I won't get this land....sm - annonymous

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His lady friend and her kids will get it. Anything he does have they get. Believe me, I know. I've seen it in black and white. This land will not be mine.

Put up a fence and get a pitbull - wish I could be more helpful

[ In Reply To ..]
n/m

I hope you are talking to the mother and not the daughter!...nm - huh?

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

LOL, I already actually have a fence AND a pitbull... - anonymous

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The pitbull loves him. lol

oh - that's so wrong on so many levels - wish I could be of more help

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Maybe get an invisible fence and put the collar on your dad - lol!

???? - gourdpainter

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I can't help but notice your subject line "aren't your parents suppose to help you". Seems to have very little to do with the content of your post. Is it possible that the REAL problem is that you resent your father because he is old and needs your help and you think he should still be helping you even though you admit to living on land someone else besides yourself already bought and paid for? Please remember you only ever have 1 father and 1 mother. Trust me, you will miss them when they're gone.

reply to: Aren't your parents supposed to help you ...... - anonymous...sm - pol

[ In Reply To ..]
not in all eternity: Actually only until you are grown, then it goes both ways, and when your parents are really old, then it's YOU who has to help.

I guess I am resentful because I see other people..sm - anonymous

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Friends and such who have fathers who give to them and just help them when they see they need it. I don't have that. I have never had it. And a father isn't supposed to give to grown kids I know. But I have never had anthing give to me from him even growing up. It has never went both ways. Growing up my mama paid for my stuff from her working. When he did work and make money since I have been married, he never give me anything even if I needed it. But yet, I give him food, toilet paper, laundry detergent, soap, drink, etc a lot because I am his daughter and sometimes I feel I am obligated to help him although he never helped me in any way, shape or form. He never bought my clothes growing up cause he didn't work. When he did work, he helped his girlfriend and her kids buy clothes, etc. But he never gave me anything I can promise you that. I resent never getting anything from him in my life as a child or grown but now he expects me to help him. What about when I needed help? He would just say oh I'm sorry to me. That may be why I have some resentment.
I'm sorry - gourdpainter
[ In Reply To ..]
but you sound pretty angry and bitter. In one of your posts you say your dad had a lockbox full of cash and yet you whine that he won't wprk, so what? did someone give him that money? I would assume you are an adult. If you have a husband and you are an adult yourself why on earth would you think that your dad or anyone else needs to "help" you? You should help yourself. Move off the land, go to an apartment or whatever. If you have land on which to park your mobile home someone has already "helped" you enough and you obviously don't appreciate the help you've received. If you don't want to offer any sort of kindness to your aged parent that is your business but you know that thing called karma? It has a way of coming back and biting you in the posterior.

Sorry to be so blunt but you don't sound like someone I would personally feel like "helping."
Yes, I am angry and I am bitter.... - anonymous
[ In Reply To ..]
If you had read more carefully you would have known he got that money from working on the cleanup after Hurricane Katrina. One of the few times he has worked. I wasn't asking for a handout. He owed my husband $600. I was asking for what was owed because I needed it. I help myself everyday of my life. I work and my husband works. I can't move off this land until I have more land to put my mobile home on. I don't have the cash to pay down right now on more land. Until I save it I cannot move. I can't go rent an apartment cause I have a mortgage on my mobile home. We bought it new and we have monthly payments. I was grateful to park my mobile home here, but believe me I am paying for it in food, money, toiletries, etc. I furnish on a regular basis for him. When he needs toilet paper he don't go buy it. He comes to my house and gets it. Same for soap or whatever else he needs. When he gets hungry he helps himself to my frig. I give him plenty for living on this land.
mobile home parking - mt way too long
[ In Reply To ..]
seems to me that if you are getting "free rent" for your mobile home, the food and things you give him would be an equal exchange. Where I live, rent in a mobile home park is quit expensive (700-800 a month). I know that in the south, it is cheaper in some places, maybe 2-300. Are you giving him 300 dollars worth of stuff a month?

Sounds to me like you think you are owed free lot rent by your father but think that you don't owe anyone anything. Pretty selfish. If you don't like it, move. I almost forgot though, you have a reason you can't move either! I guess "free" would be a good reason?

I have given to my dad more than he will ever give me... - anonymous

[ In Reply To ..]
He just turned 60. He is not even retirement age yet. He has never give me anything. I have give him a lot. I give him food all the time out my frig. I have given him $10 and $20 here and there. I have given him half the money to pay his phone bill.
You know what he told me a few years ago when he was doing good and making some good money doing cleanup after Katrina? My husband was working under him on the cleanup and he owed my husband about $600. We didn't have food in the house (this was the first paycheck we were getting after my husbands starting to work with him) and no money until he paid us. He had a lock box full of cash in the house (my mama told me this). It wasn't locked though. You know what he said when I asked him if I could get a few dollars until payday to buy some food? He said oh I'm sorry I don't have any money. Mama took me in the house when he was in the shower and showed me his box that wasn't locked with all his money. So no, I don't resent him for not being able to help me ANYMORE. He never helped me any to begin with. I wouldn't hold it against many people for not helping me in that situation. Not their problem you know. But he is my dad and I am his daughter and if my son ever comes to me and says he doesn't have groceries and I owed him money you better bet I would give it to him if I had it. I would never let my son go without food in the house when I owed him and had the money to pay him. You may see why I kind of resent him but it isn't cause he can't help me anymore, he never did.

dysfunction in the family - wondering

[ In Reply To ..]
I am wondering why if your parents are divorced, your mom is going into the house looking in his stuff and why they have so much contact with each other. Why can't your mom just give it up and stay away from him? They are divorced. She shouldn't be going into his house looking through his stuff and telling you anything. This sounds like a big dysfunctional soap opera bunch of nonsense. You all are just enabling him to be this way. Sounds like whine whine but you really don't want to do anything to help yourself get out of this mess.
LOL, This was BEFORE they were divorced when that happned - anonymous
[ In Reply To ..]
She knew his business cause they still lived together. They weren't divorced. Now they are divorced. Believe me she would love nothing more than to have no contact with him and she stays away from his place but he is constantly following her and such. When she comes to my house he will come to my house. The only way to keep him from coming over there if she is there is to lock my door and not answer it. Your right. It is a bunch of soap opera nonsense. That is why I want to MOVE so bad.
nonsense - wondering
[ In Reply To ..]
Whether they were divorced or not divorced, what business does anyone have showing someone who does not live in the house (you) any business of an occupant of the house.

This all sounds like a bunch of BS, soap opera junk that nobody wants to get away from. You don't make sense half the time, i.e. the only way to keep him from coming over there if she is there to lock my door and not answer it? N one of this makes sense and you have an answer for every suggestion someone gives you.

You don't want out of this mess, you like the drama. I have seen this garbage before, the victim type, poor me all the time and do nothing to fix or get out of the situation.

If it were that bad, I would walk away from it regardless of what I had to do. You have been posting this stuff forever and still in their fighting with it. I guess some folks just like drama in their lives all the time.
nonsense - wondering - gourdpainter
[ In Reply To ..]
This is the first time I've read this type of post from this poster. From the get-go something just didn't ring right about it. I would venture a guess that this is a case of what happens in so many divorce cases, one parent works hard to turn the kids against the other parent. This is just plain WRONG. Obviously "mama" is in there playing a part from the tone of the posts. Where there's a will, there's a way. If this person wanted to get out of her "bad" situation she would do so. The more I read the more it seems like a gigantic pity party to me. Seems like the poster is a taker and wants to give nothing in return, not even compassion.
mental illness - anne
[ In Reply To ..]
I have a brother who is mentally ill, so I can relate to the strain it puts on a person AND a family when they have to put up with behavior that is so imposing and the person won't take no for an answer and just refuses to go away. It is exhausting and nobody really understands it until they live it. You can't just lock your door and not answer it if they won't quit knocking. Normal people would stop knocking. Mentally ill people do not.

I think the OPs dad is mentally ill, and I also think he is a sociopath. I would put more blame on the OPs mother because it seems like she almost trained him to be as dependent on her and her daughter as he has become. She should have cut all ties with him long ago.

To the OP: I agree that the only solution is to move the trailer, but please, find a trailer park. Don't wait to save up for land. You will be stuck there forever, and the stress he is putting on you is not good for your marriage or for your son. Your mom will be okay without you there next door. Your mom and dad have their own dynamic and your presence probably makes it worse because he uses you as a pawn to get what he wants from her, and he uses her as a pawn to get what he wants from you.

Do everything you can to get away from this toxic man. Life is too short.
OP - check out this link - anne
[ In Reply To ..]
http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

What do you think? Does it fit?
to GP - wondering
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You are exactly right. I am wondering if the name "Jerry Springer" means anything to the OP.
I think you are completely wrong about the OP. - anne
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I think the OP is trying to live a quiet life with her modest home, husband and child, and her dad simply won't leave her alone. Just because her dad owns the land doesn't give him the right to constantly intrude and impose. It's called boundaries.

Some people do thrive on drama, but I don't have the OP pegged as that type. I'm sure she would quickly trade all this unwanted drama for a loving dear old dad who is kind and thoughtful and loves his little girl.

OP - as it sounds like you are in the country - are you limited to satellite for your internet? If you can find a trailer park where you can get cable, you might be able to find a better MT job, too, and offset the extra rent you will have to pay. Just a thought. Hang in there. :)

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A Question For ParentsSep 01, 2016
There are so many lessons that we as parents want to teach our children, but I'd love to hear your answer to this question, based on a hypothetical scenario: You are the parent of a 7-year-old child. You've learned from your doctor that you have a terminal illness, with at most a year left to shape your child's future. There's no time for anything but the essentials. You must spend the time wisely. What one, or at most two, character trait(s) would, to you, be the mo ...

For Parents - Ran Across This Today.Feb 02, 2016
You might have heard it: "How does a child spell love?" T - I - M - E. Not  M - O - N - E - Y. Not S - T - U -F -F. Is that a great reminder to us, or what?     ...

Parents Of College StudentsFeb 01, 2010
I almost forgot. I was hoping this would be the last year for me, but I think DD2 is going to school for one more year to get a second diploma/degree in GIS so I will probably have one more time to do this. UGH! ...

What Do You Think Of Kids Calling Their Parents By Their First NameJul 28, 2010
My BIL keeps referring to his mom (my MIL) by her first name.  He'll say "you know that Sharon moved the other day", or he'll say "I came home today so I could bring Sharon to the doctor".  The first time he said it I said whose Sharon?  He said you, know, my mom.  I said why don't you say "my mom" I know who you are talking about.  He told me that when he's talking to his coworkers they don't know who his mom is.   I'm sorry, I just ...

Casey's Parents Do Not Believe She Is Innocent. Jun 23, 2011
Would it take you this long to realize your psycho lying daughter was not innocent.  Cindy testified she was still looking for Zanny the nanny up until 6 weeks ago.  ...

Does Anyone Have Experience With Parents With Dementia? Could Use Some Advice.Mar 08, 2011
My mom has dementia.  She knows all of her children and some of the grandchildren.  She is going to a new nursing home today, which is going to really throw her off.  Conversations are difficult.  She talks a lot but much of it is delusional or just does not make sense.  She cries easily.  She gets angry and screams and yells easily.  she often thinks some one is going to come "hurt her." We have pages of instructions and advice on this and one of the biggest ...

Need Any Advice From Military Parents/spouses Please ... (sm)Sep 20, 2010
My daughter's husband of four months is being deployed next month to Afghanistan for a year, he actually left out this morning for military duty for the next month.  She has great family support, has moved back home with us until he returns next year but I think that I am looking for any advice on how to possibly help her get through this from others that have been through it, actually not just her but for him as well.  I have never been through anything like this and again, just ...

Questions For Parents With Small ChildrenJun 20, 2011
Do you children (maybe around 4 years old) cry a lot?  We have a neighbor who has a little girl and she is always crying - and I mean always.  I don't think we've ever heard longer than a half hour without her crying.  She's playing with other kids and she cries, she's in the swimming pool and she's crying, eating crying, etc, etc.  Since I never had kids or friends who had kids I don't know if this is normal.  Just was curious. ...

Has Anyone Ever Had Parents Take Back A Christmas Gift?Feb 14, 2013
My husband and I do not get along with my stepdad.  He is greedy and just a terrible person.  Too much to go into.  We had words with him.  Anyways, he decided he would take back a Christmas gift that was from my mom and him last year.  It was an outside TV antenna.  He said it was his and he was taking it back.  I thought when you gave someone a gift it was theirs?  I just said ok whatever.   ...

Visitation Time For Noncustodial ParentsNov 10, 2013
My child's father is the noncustodial parent.  He seems to think anytime he chooses and returns my child is fine.  This is fast becoming a problem as I'm stuck sitting here waiting on him to get around to picking her up and returning her.  This weekend he's volunteering at the local NFL stadium.  He does this to see the game for free.  Couple that with the fact that he is disabled and receives SSDI.  I don't know what my options are or how to set ...

I Need Some Advice About How To Handle Some Difficult Parents. May 04, 2015
 I have had repeated problems with these people and I'm done, but my daughter and their daughter are best friends and I just feel bad for the girls.  Here's the situation.  Over the weekend, I took both girls shopping for 8th grade graduation dresses.  We go into Kohl's and the girls take off to the junior section to try on dressing while I shop around.  They make their choices and proceed to the register where my daughter's friend says she has a $100 ...

IQ Cost Oregon Parents Their Kids, But Is That Aug 08, 2017
The nursery in Amy Fabbrini and Eric Ziegler's home is filled with unread children's books and unworn baby clothes. A Winnie the Pooh blanket lies untouched inside a crib where a child has never slept. For nearly four years, the Redmond couple has been fighting to prove to the state of Oregon that they are intellectually capable of raising their children. The Department of Human Services has removed both of their boys, saying the parents are too mentally limited to be good parents. ...

Guess Now We Are Supposed To Do TheirMar 13, 2015
When I work I have my window shutters open, sit where I can see anyone who passes by my home (live in a cul-de-sac), comes down my driveway, the mail person, others and love it. My husband was expecting a package, which I did not know about until after hubby arrived home yesterday asking if the men in brown had been here. I had seen them stop right beside my mailbox but never came down the driveway. Husband checked his email and saw where the package was delivered. Might have been but not to us. ...

Young Adults Up To 27 Yo Can Stay On Their Parents Plan Until They Can Get Their OwnOct 29, 2009
http://docs.house.gov/rules/health/111_ahcaa.pdfIf I am reading it right, young adults up to 27 yo can stay on their parents plan until they can get their own? ==================================== Page 32 SEC. 105. REQUIRING THE OPTION OF EXTENSION OF DEPENDENT COVERAGE FOR UNINSURED YOUNG ADULTS. (a) UNDER GROUP HEALTH PLANS.— (1) PHSA.—Title XXVII of the Public Health Service Act is amended by inserting after section 2702 the following new section: ‘&lsqu ...

Threats To Student Over T-Shirt And Heckle Parents Oct 07, 2012
Threats for Romney T-Shirt Teen Students are angry a favorite teacher is being investigated By Shelley Laurence and Lu An Cahn |  Friday, Oct 5, 2012  |  Updated 5:59 PM EDT   The family of a Philadelphia high school student says the teen is getting threats, after sparking a controversy with a political T-shirt. "The kids now, in that school are sending her threats on Facebook and they're texting her too. And these people used to be her fri ...

Did Anyone See The New Article About The Pregnant Teen Who Sued Her Parents?Feb 19, 2013
So, 16-year-old girl gets pregnant by her 16-year-old boyfriend.  Her parents were trying to force her to have an abortion.  She refused, so they took away her car, refused to support her and she had to work two jobs (for punishment, according to her).  She went to a local law practice, who represented her, pro bono, and she won her case.  The judge ordered that her parents have no say over what she does for the entirety of her pregnancy.  He also ordered that the parent ...

Parents Of 2 Benghazi Victims Sue Hillary ClintonAug 09, 2016
The parents of two of the four Americans who died in the Benghazi attack in 2012 filed a lawsuit Monday against Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, alleging her "reckless handling" of classified information contributed to their deaths. The case was filed in the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia by Larry Klayman of Freedom Watch USA on behalf of Patricia Smith, the mother of Sean Smith, and Charles Woods, the father of Tyrone Woods, for allegedly wrongfully causing ...

Do Parents Hold Their Children Accountable For Their Bad BehaviorAug 16, 2015
or do they just continually blame everyone else's child instead?  I have a 15yo was sleeping over at a friend's house with two other girls.  They were at the grandma's house and the grandma let them pitch a tent out in the back yard (she lives in the country) and "camp out."  Problem is sometime in the middle night while the grandparents were asleep, after testing back and forth with an older boy (18 years old), he shows up picks all four girls up and ...

How Tall Is That Wall Supposed To Be? Just SawApr 01, 2016
There were 2 young guys who scanned a 20 foot wall crossing from Mexico into the US with their bare hands. They were looking around to see if they were seen and they spotted a camera. They went back into Mexico and it took them a total of 12 seconds to reclimb the 20 foot wall. How tall was that wall that Mexico was supposed to pay for? ...

Catholic School Rejects Child Of Lesbian ParentsMar 08, 2010
BOULDER, Colo. -- A preschooler is caught in the middle of a fight between religion and sexuality. Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic School, in Boulder, has refused to readmit a preschooler because the child has two moms. Her parents are lesbians."God and Jesus would not allow discrimination in that way," said Joellen Raderstorf, one of about two dozen demonstrators who turned out at Sunday's church service.Most of the protesters stood silently, across the street, holding signs. One read "God ...

Need Advice From Parents With Children Riding Crotch RocketsNov 06, 2011
My son told and showed my hubby and myself last night that he had bought a motorcycle, crotch rocket no less.  I was devastated and cried so hard my eyes hurt.  You see my nephew was killed 2-1/2 years ago on a big Harley when a bucket tree truck took a sudden turn in front of him and he died instantly.  My sister and the whole family have been devastated by this.  It literally caused my sister to have to file for disability because of the mental anguish over this nightmare. ...

Mitt's Dad And Parents Received US Govt Refugee FundsSep 19, 2012
My refugee husband, who is now a small business owner and hefty taxpayer, also took advantage of this program in the early 80s while migrating from Iran (to escape imminent persecution for anti-regime political activities) via Germany, then Iowa, under the resettlement program.  He was on the dole for hostel housing, food, medical care and pocket money for around 16 months (9 months in Germany, and another 7 months in Iowa) while the bureacratic red tape ran its course and he became establi ...

Parents Upset Over Tutoring Program That Excluded WhitesFeb 15, 2013
A Colorado school principal is apologizing after he mailed parents a letter informing them that an after-school tutoring program was for non-whites only. Andre Pearson, the principal at Mission Viejo Elementary School in Aurora, also left a voice mail message confirming that the program excluded whites. “It’s focused for and designed for children of color,” Principal Pearson said in a voicemail to parent Nicole Cox. “If we have space for other kids who have needs, we can definite ...

After School Reading Club Canceled Due To Complaining ParentsMar 30, 2013
I don't get people.. I really don't.  If you don't want your kid involved, fine, whatever.  Don't kill it for everyone else though.   http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/29/zombie-class-oregon_n_2980041.html ...

Hillary Uses Parents Of Dead Daughter To Attack SandersAug 07, 2016
The Hillary Clinton campaign held a conference call with press Friday in which she used the parents of a victim in the Aurora Colorado shooting to attack Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders. ...

Syrian Islamists Kill 15 Year Old Boy In Front Of Parents Jun 11, 2013
Members of an al Qaeda-linked group in Syria executed a 15-year-old boy in front of his parents after kidnapping and torturing him for making disrespectful statements about Islam's Prophet Muhammad, a human rights group in the region claimed.   Mohammad Qataa was seized Saturday in Aleppo by gunmen with the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria — formerly known as the Nusra Front — after he was overheard saying during an argument wit ...

Cancer-stricken Children, Parents, Ejected From Park NearSep 21, 2015
The U.S. Secret Service ordered hundreds of parents and their cancer-stricken children out of Lafayette Square on Saturday night, barricading the park for at least two hours and disrupting the group’s plans for a candlelight vigil to raise awareness and research funding for childhood cancer, participants said. Some of the parents and children expressed hurt and disappointment that Secret Service and National Park Police, citing security precautions, virtually shut down part of a two-day ev ...