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Some parents really T me off...
Posted: Nov 13, 2010
There was a little boy on my son's soccer team whose parents (mom and the boyfriend of the week-I think there have been three in the 6 weeks he has been playing) are too lazy to get him to very many practices, so I offered to pick him up and bring him. The newest boyfriend said that the reason that he has only been to one game is because it is too difficult for them to get up early enough to bring him to an 8 a.m. or 9 a.m. game.
Last week, I brought him home with me Friday night and took him to the game so that he could play. They were supposed to get there at 10 to pick him up, which they did not do. I had some errands to run, so we just brought him along and I tried to call his mother over and over again. Finally, after blocking my caller ID, she answered at 6 p.m. and told me where she was (as she was not at home, I had gone by), so that we could meet up for her to take him home. She told me that I should have left him alone at the house. He is 5 and I am not going to leave a 5-year-old unattended.
I took him to both practices last week and went to pick him up this morning for the game, since it did not start until 11 this time, and I had to bang really loud. Finally, the drug addict mom and boyfriend emerged from the cave and told me that she had sent Michael by himself on a bus to live with his Grandma in Tenessee. They have 4 other kids living there, all younger than Michael, whom they kept. I know that he is probably better off with his grandma, but this kind of strikes a nerve because my dad's mother did that kind of thing to him throughout his childhood. She would come get him from his Grandma's house and keep him a little while, until she found a boyfriend who didn't want him, and then send him back. I think she should have left him alone. She, too, kept the younger children. I can't understand how anyone could do this to a child and I really care for Michael. I am sad to see him go. It makes me want to keep him and I'll bet his mother would have let me, had I asked. I am so sad for him.
That is all for my rant, I just needed to get that off my chest!
;
First off, thank you... - sm
[ In Reply To ..]Thank you for taking an interest in this child and trying so hard to help him. He was neglected physically and emotionally. Leave him home alone? I can only shake my head at that. As for the boy, is your son a friend? If so, maybe he and you can keep in touch via mail or e-mail? It sounds like this boy could use a friend. Hopefully things will stabilize at grandma's house and his mother will leave him alone.
Are u sure the child is safe? - HappyIC
[ In Reply To ..]Kendra, bless your heart for caring about this obviously neglected child. I am relieved to hear that he has been sent to grandma's if, in fact, it's true. Can you be SURE that it is? With such irresponsible, negligent "parents," I would be concerned that something else was going on in this situation. Would the mother be willing to give you the grandma's phone number so you could at least verify that the child is there, safe and sound? She sent the poor little guy alone on a bus after all...if that was even the truth. The whole situation just makes me suspicious and worried, and I don't think I'd rest until I knew for certain that the child was at grandma's. I hope you can devise some way to get the phone number out of the mother so you can call and find out the truth for yourself. If nothing else, call the police or CPS if you have to and let them investigate the child's safety and whereabouts.
Keep us posted!
Smells fishy - Betty's Bunion
[ In Reply To ..]Do bus, or any other transportation companies, even accept passengers that young traveling solo?
I would put a bug in some agency's ear to go do a welfare check on that boy.
I'd call CPS anyway for the safety of the other children as well. sm - RoadRunnerMT
[ In Reply To ..]If she is leaving the 5-year-old home alone, what about the other children? They were not rescued by grandma.
I really have no way of being sure about anything... - Kendra
[ In Reply To ..]I only have what the mother told me. I did call and leave a message asking her for an address or e-mail or something, so that our kids can maybe keep in touch--my 4-year-old really loves Michael and they seemed to strike up a quick friendship. I just don't understand people at all. I would NEVER send either one of my kids to live with someone else. It would break my heart.
unfortunately this is too common in our society - AARPMom
[ In Reply To ..]This is very similar to how my grandchild came to live with me. You can't be sure of anything because you cannot believe anything the bio parents tell you. This child is probably going to be bounced back and forth unless that child's grandmom does something about it. I adopted my grandchild. It is not something I would have chosen for either of us, but I am very glad that I am here for this child.
I will say this, though, about the situation. One of the reasons the parents fail to step up is exactly because they fail early on. If they send off a child, the odds that they can ever become successful parents is very slim. Even though you may not see it in the bio parents, it doees have a very detrimental effect on them and it is very hard for them to work out of that hole.
I am glad that your grandchild has you... - Kendra
[ In Reply To ..]and of course it hurts the parent to give up her child. I am sure that even this mother, as irresponsible as I think she is, cares for her son. However, I am not sure that caring is enough. However much it hurts her, I know from my dad that it hurts him worse. To this day, my dad swears that he doesn't care about his mom and what she did, but it is evident in just about everything that he does that she wounded him very very deeply. I sure hope that Michael ends up okay and I will make every effort to keep in touch with him. Good luck to you and your grandchild!
This whole sad story - sm
[ In Reply To ..]Makes my stomach feel nervous. I'd be very suspicious of these 2 losers sending this poor child away...just like that? Please do whatever you feel you can just to make sure this child is ok...the mom's sudden decision to send him away "on a bus by himself" just doesn't sound right to me...Bless you for trying to make a difference in this poor kid's life...so sad.
OMG!!! - oaf
[ In Reply To ..]I agree with some of the earlier posts - I hope you called the police. It just sounds too bizarre. That poor child. I have two teenage girls down the road whom I have kept tabs on since we moved here,they were 9 and 10 then. I have taken them to the ER, to the doctors and they come here as a "safe place". The father is a single Dad, which is his excuse for neglecting them. One night I had to call 911 because the one had a really bad nosebleed we couldn't stop. He was home, in his bedroom, totally out of it after a few beers. We knocked on the door to no avail. Believe me the police showed up and he wasn't very happy about it. I went to the ER with her and he came in later. Didn't ask how she was? Just started complaining that we had called 911. The older one had a breast lump (she's 18) I took her to the doctor appointments and for the biopsy - he couldn't take time off from work! Derr I really can't either, but somethings you need to do. He works for the PO and I am sure he gets plenty of PTO.
I think people should have to take tests before they have kids to raise. Your situation is so scary. Bless you for trying!! Pls keep us posted if you hear anything.
I would definitely notify someone in an official - kt
[ In Reply To ..]capacity to check to make sure the child is where they say it is. It sounds a little strange to say the least. Also, CPS or someone needs to check on the other kids in the house to make sure they are not being neglected as they though it was OK to leave a 5-year-old home alone. Don't know any state where that is not considered child neglect.
UPDATE - Kendra
[ In Reply To ..]I actually got a phone number and an address from Michael's mother and called to talk to his grandmother. She said that she came and picked Michael up, that he did NOT ride a bus by himself. She also said that she had no idea that he even had a soccer game on Saturday, otherwise, they would have stayed for that and let him say goodbye. It seems that she is Michael's biological father's mother and she seems okay, at least on the phone. I did get a chance to talk to Michael for a minute and I feel better about how he is doing. I still wish that things were different for him, though.
Michael - momma of 3
[ In Reply To ..]Thank you for the update and for being so kind as to share with the rest of us what you have found out.
My hat goes off to you. You did what every person should do but most do not.
Sometimes we forget children are not able to walk away adults are. How sad when those of us who should love and protect them fail so horribly.
Momma of soon to be 3
thanks for the update - AARPMom
[ In Reply To ..]I know it must have been a relief to talk to the gmom and to him. I wish more people would take an interest in a child like this that cross their lives. Kudos to you.
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