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moms changing
Posted: Sep 17, 2012
Has anyone experienced this with their mom? She remarried a year and a half ago, and she is a different person. She quit going to church, she dyed her hair, lost weight, doesn't want friends just him, tans now, acts younger. He is a greedy, stingy person and now she is too and she was NEVER stingy. She acts like she is better than other people now. She gets an attitude when she was never like that especially with me. She is basically someone I don't know anymore. I even get the feeling she sticks her nose up at me like she is better than me even, and I'm her daughter. I did not know someone could basically become a different person after marrying someone. I've never seen anything quite like it. It is beyond strange. It is like the mom I knew does not exist anymore. Drastic change.
;
I say more power to your mom - wheres_my_job
[ In Reply To ..]If she's really going overboard on the snootiness, maybe *in time* that aspect will wear off.....maybe not....
My feeling is, the world keeps trying to turn women into Mother Theresas....women get so "mommified" mummified, they lose all sense of themselves as an individual or as a woman, or even as a physical being...your whole life revolves around being there for other people...how wonderful for your mom to reclaim herself!
Maybe she's expressing some buried anger there, that's been festering for years and years and years. It's not nice....but there it is. Maybe you could talk to her about it, just get it all out in the open?
Sign me - hanging up my Mother Theresa cloak....
Thought I was the only one-I no longer claim my mother - Angie
[ In Reply To ..]My mom divorced my stepdad after 20 years, left my brother who was 14 at the time and just left. She was dating my stepdads best friend who lived down the road.
My stepdad asked her to come to bed one night and she said she wasn't happy. He said, well pack ur bags and leave...so she did.
Since then, she is not the same person. He is rich, says she doens't have to work, but she does bc she had to pay childsupport, tuition, etc for my brother, but really not the same person.
She never calls me, or him. She lives in same town with my brother and he sees her at her job (convenient store) every now and then. She used to send me $20 on birthday or special occasion, now I get an empty card. She still sends my daughter who is 14 $20, so that is something I guess; but not me..her daughter.
Its ridiculous, never calls to see what is on Christmas list, just gives a WalMart gift card with $25 on it...I mean, really...she is no longer my mom. She visits his grown kids and grandkids, but not her own.
Good Luck to you and yours!
Don't overlook the personality change - sm
[ In Reply To ..]The poster indicates that her relationship with her mom has changed. A relationship with a loved one is more important than reclaiming oneself. Her new fad will wear off and what will she be left with? An estranged daughter.
Not necessarily - wheres_my_job
[ In Reply To ..]Sometimes a person standing their ground for the first time in their life will be interpreted in a negative way. Sometimes family members WON'T accept "the family doormat" making changes, and may actively undercut the positive changes they are trying to make. Don't know this situation first hand, just saying, sometimes estrangement is unavoidable, if a family member simply WILL NOT accept another family member's happiness. Things happen.
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