livid, need advice

Posted: Apr 13, 2012

I'm upset about something and I want to make sure i'm not being selfish. It has to do with my inlaws, in particular MIL. My hubby and I have been having financial problems for the past two years. I lost my 16 year MT career due to a disability that it created, and from then on we have been sinking. We went from making 40k a year, to 17k, I was the primary breadwinner. During the past two years I have lost everything. Our house went into foreclosure, and is now in a short sale (this week actually). I lost the worker's comp case, in which I thought was a cut and dried case, apparently not. We totalled our one remaining car (the other one broke down six months earlier and it cost too much to fix) two months ago. We are officially 60k in debt and have dug ourselves quite the hole here. Well, we were recently blessed with a job change, and my husband is now making almost twice my old salary. We had to pick up and move and pretty much start over. This week is his first week on the job. More stress, but it seems to be we are turning the titanic around a little bit. Now to the inlaws, in particular the mother in law. My hubby called her to tell her about his new job, and she proceeds to ask for money! Already? really???? His first week on the job, she asks for money. Anyway, she wants him to add her 15 year old brat of a grand-daughter to our phone plan, buy her a cell phone and basically another bill. She has a dad, but he won't buy her a phone. MIL claims it is because she wants to keep in touch with her, however, she is over there every weekend, she sends us pictures?! Does a 15 year old NEED a cell phone? Is MIL out of line asking this the first week we get this job? I know no one in my family would have the gall to ask such a thing, especially knowing what we have been through and with the stress of the move and all. Also, after the car accident, his brother decides to tell my hubby that he owes him money (it got out we received a small settlement for the totalled car, for which we purchased a CHEAP car with). They got into a huge battle over this, and i'm just tired. I don't want to pay for this girls cell phone, I don't even like the girl, she is harsh and mean and violent (police get called over to that house, and she is in handcuffs constantly, gets into physical altercations) She is loose and out of control, and I do not want her involved in our lives at all, esp don't want to start paying for any of her bills! I feel selfish, but at the same time I think a line has been crossed here! I am torn and feel awful and I cannot sleep. We need all that money for ourselves, we need to get out of the hole! We need to put that towards our needs, not the needs of MIL's grand-daughter (whom its HER fault that grand-daughter's life is in the toilet, as her mother was a drug addict and had problems caused by my MIL and FIL). I don't want other people's lives seeping into our own! Tell it to me straight, am I being selfish? How would you feel? What would you do? I have been praying about this but finding no answers, thanks for any and all response. ;