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RE: SILLY GIRL/CHEATING HUSBAND

Posted: Mar 1, 2011

I was reading the thread below by "Silly girl" who has all but confronted her cheating husband.

Silly Girl: You have amassed a nice bunch of evidence to prove to yourself and show your dog-husband that you know he's cheating. Why don't you gather it all together and leave it on the doorstep for him to find with a note telling him to "GO TO HER".

my thinking behind this is that generally people cheat because they can, because they are getting away with it and perhaps their partner is turning a blind eye. When confronted and given a choice, "get your crud together and stay here, or get out right now" a fear will set in. Initially he might leave, but in the ensuing days he may start to think about the financial set backs of divorce, alimony, child support, starting a new life, having to support this "new" person's life-style etc, etc...

This may shock his worthless self back to reality and put him right back in place. BUT, you've got to stand up for yourself! Don't play victim in this! BE MAD!!! Make sure that this POS husband of yours KNOWS YOUR WORTH!!! Make sure he is screwing up a great thing in this partnership he has with you and NO ONE will ever be as awesome as you are.

If he does indeed chose to leave, then he isn't worth YOU. As women we get so busy in life that we forget how awesome we are. 99.9% can still bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan, with or without that man.

So, find your inner strength and get in touch with that strong, angry woman and stand up to this nonsense! DO NOT TOLERATE IT!

Many, many, many of us have been through this. You will be fine, with or without him.

Don't be afraid! And, like the last poster said, we virtual sisters are here for you.

;

Personally, I wouldn't give him a choice. Throw his crap - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
on the front lawn, change the locks and tell him now you can rent a hotel room guilt free!

I wouldn't even entertain forgiving him. Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater! The OP even said he cheated on his first ex.

It's devastating, I know, to think that 11 years of marriage meant nothing to him. My ex-husband cheated on me after 10 years of marriage. I let myself be sad for the first couple of days and then I got mad. After I confronted my husband with all my evidence, he still denied the affair, said it was just a flirtation with no sex. He denied it right up until the minute before I sat down and had a face to face with the "other woman." And the only reason he broke down and admitted to it because he didn't want me to talk to her. I did anyway. I told this woman she could have him. He wouldn't work and I supported him and I was glad to get rid of him. She didn't want him tho cause she was going back to her husband who made her confess everything to me as penance for her indiscretion.

That was 10 years ago and it was the best decision I've ever made in my life. My son and I are better for me leaving him. Of course the bastard still owes me back child support which I will never see.

Oh geez, sorry I went off on a little tangent there! Kick him to the curb, have a good cry, and then move on.

Good Luck to the OP!

And let us not forget another outstanding possibility - IF he is a cheater dog

[ In Reply To ..]
There's every chance his side piece doesn't even KNOW he's married. Again, that's IF he's cheating.

I was strung along by many months by a man I thought was a single parent and whose evenings were primarily tied up being with his son after working all day.

Long story short, once I found out he was married, I dumped him like a freaking rabid squirrel. I started dated another guy and told him what I'd been thru...He called the married dude's wife and clued her in as to what her hubby had been up to.

She ended up contacting me, not upset with ME at all and said she could sense he'd been up to something but couldn't prove it.

She divorced the cheater dog, he did everything he could to get me back (but I ended up marrying the guy who ratted him out to his wife) and everyone lived happily ever after.

Except the cheater dog, who didn't deserve to be happy after disrupting so many lives.

So, let's not forget if Silly Girl deep-sixes him, the other woman may not want him either. Then he'll really be up you-know-what creek with no paddle :-)

I have a friend who is going through this same thing... - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
While our husbands were deployed, her husband cheated with a woman in the battalion. He called and told her a week, or so, before they returned because he and the woman had been caught and she was the president of the Family Readiness Group, so she was bound to find out. I truly believe that this is the only reason he confessed. At first, she said that she would take him back and try to make it work for their two young girls. I told her that she had managed on her own for the past 10 months and that she and the girls would be fine without him. I am proud of her because she has since left him and moved away. I know it is a battle, but I also know that she will be fine. And so will you. I think that cheating is probably the one thing that I would NEVER put up with in my marriage. I hope it all works out for you.

Men - MT

[ In Reply To ..]
There's not a man on the planet worth sharing. Get rid of him and don't look back. You deserve better.

Silly girl here - Silly Girl

[ In Reply To ..]
Thank you everyone. I'm having my sad moments and my p'd off moments. I spent the entire day Tuesday crying and wandering from room to room. Yesterday I was mad and started figuring out bills, etc. Today, i'm hurt again. I asked him if she was married too and he said he wouldn't discuss her with me even though he agreed she was the reason he was leaving. I've had 3 panic attacks just this morning alone and haven't eaten since Sunday night (tried to eat toast this morning and even chewing it made me sick at my stomach). At almost 43 with a 10 year old child I never ever thought i'd find myself in this position - for that I feel like a fool. He said he believes that we can do this rationally and not be mad, etc. To his face I tell him I agree but once my lawyer gets a hold of him - i'm going to make sure that he hurts as bad as he hurt me $$$!!! She can have him but i'll make sure he's in the lowest possible place in his life!

I think I will spend the rest of my years raising my most amazing son and traveling... to h*** with men :)

My opinion - mtmt

[ In Reply To ..]
Letting the moral-less tramp have the pig is the best revenge you can get. You might want to check into alienation of affection laws in your state. Good luck!

re: mtmt and silly girl - mz

[ In Reply To ..]
A friend of mine was going through this same thing a while back. She and I were at a resturant and lo and behold the soon-to-be ex's tramp GF walked in! I guess she felt like crud because she felt an overwhelming need to come over to our table to "talk like adults" about the situation. Can you believe her nerve and audacity!??

After she spilled her guts and her fake tears my friend very cool said to her: "you know, I've got a left over salad and sandwich here. You want that too?"

IT WAS SPECTACULAR! The tramp just up and tucked her tail between her legs and left the resturant. We laughed so hard and then she cried a bit, but she felt like she had a burden lifted from her heart, to actually gracefully, like a lady, let that fool know exactly how much dialogue they were going to have!

Silly girl, you are going to be fine without this ball and chain around your heart. What you are going through is absolutely normal. Try and get yourself out of the house. If you have a friend or family near by, pack up your work stuff and work your shift away from the house. Start to concentrate on your positives rather than skulk around letting him see you sad. He doesn't deserve your tears. He's a P.O.S. and I'll make you this promise: He or she will cheat, then they'll get a taste of their own medicine.

There is no need for "revenge" in these cases. Getting on with your life and living it well is rewarding and all you need.

Take care.

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