A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

Family.

Posted: Sep 12, 2012

I recently had the misfortunate opporunity to answer the phone from one of my family. She started talking about things going on in her life and then felt the need to "dump" on me. We are of the Caucasian race and she has a child who married a different race. She proceeded to tell me (and I'm talking about almost to the point of yelling at me) how ashamed she is to belong to the race of white trash where nobody cares about anybody else but themselves. The other race is superior and they know how to care for other people, but the white trash don't care (a lot of it is political based). She proceeded to tell me one group is going to do this or that to her. I had figured she must have just received an email from someone who shares a different opinion than she does. I knew better than to say anything and just let her go off. I did tell her its true that there are some bad people who are white, but there are also bad people in all races and I don't take them as representing everyone in their race. She told me the political group (the one she doesn't associate with) is all brainwashed and then went off on a rant about them and the white trash, etc, etc. It was 15 minutes of my life I could have done without. The sinking feeling I had while talking to her just totally drained all the energy I had that day. It's been awhile since that call and it still feels as though it happened yesterday. It does not make we want to talk to her ever again.

Okay, this was more of a rant to get that off of my chest, but what would you say to someone like that who feels our race (which happens to be her race too) are all whte trash, inferior, etc. I was thinking of telling her I am proud to be in the same race as people like Neil Armstrong, Benjamin Franklin, doctors, scientists, mathmeticians, firemen and policeman, but then I realize it's not a proud or ashamed thing. Every race has good and bad. You can't say because of a few people in the country who are bad that the whole race is. Has anyone ever known anyone that hates their own race they belong to?

I'm just really dreading the next time she calls. I don't know what to say to her. I'm not a fast thinker so i can't reel things in off the top of my head wthin moments. It was just one of those emotionally draining conversations filled with such hatred towards a race and towards a political group.

;

You don't have to say anything to her..... - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
if you have caller ID, and most people do, when you see her number, just don't answer. You are under no obligation to have to listen to someone else's garbage. She is obviously looking for a reaction. Don't let her bring you down. If you don't answer long enough, she will get the hint and move on.

What she said...sm - KC

[ In Reply To ..]
That's exactly what I was going to say! Why feel like you have to say anything, let alone listent to her rants? She sounds like the type of person that there's no point arguing with, or trying to change her way of thinking. I wouldn't even bother with the energy vampire.

Thank Goodness for Caller ID - If you don't have it...

[ In Reply To ..]
If you don't have Caller ID, either get it or let your machine pick up and listen before answering it. Most people have both, or at least one or the other. If you don't, don't let her go on and on when you answer. She's doing it because you sit and listen. I would just politely say "goodbye," then hang up. She has some serious issues and probably called on you this time around because nobody else would listen to her.

And you're right about not being proud because of someone in your own race having done something great--by doing that, you'd also be saying because someone in your race did something bad, that the race is bad. This would just give someone like her fuel.

Good luck!

If you don't want to ignore her call...... - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
You have no reason why you need to explain to her or anyone for that matter about being proud of any race and you definitely don't need the references to back it up. You also don't need to "dread" her phone calls. When she STARTS, you say...."Look, mine and your opinions vary in this matter, so honestly I don't even care to hear about all of this and I would appreciate if you not call me if this is what you want to talk about. Perhaps you can find someone else who shares your same interests, because honestly I just don't even care to listen." That's it. I'm assuming you are grown, so you have the CHOICE whether or not to listen or be a part of a conversation and you CERTAINLY don't need to talk to someone that you feel you need to prepare a response to the person for the next time they call. That is just craziness.

Good Idea... - Am Wondering, Though...

[ In Reply To ..]
Why should she clog up her phone line so some nut can rant and rave? I think not answering is more effective, the twit would stop calling.

Don't be afraid to answer your own phone! - Angie

[ In Reply To ..]
I say answer it, if she starts and you don't want to be rude by hanging up, politely lay the phone down, you will still be able to hear her, but not listen to her. When she gets quiet, u can ask if she is done and end the conversation, or she will hang up due to lack of response. Either way, she gets it off her chest, you don't have to listen and you weren't rude. Ha! Just an idea. Good Luck!

I would have to be honest with her. - What I would do.

[ In Reply To ..]
Since she is family, you are probably going to see or hear from her again. She has already unloaded on you, and will try again. My nephew does this, only it is his political opinions that I do not agree with.

Simply say, as the other poster said, "You and I do not agree on these issues, and I find your stance rather offensive, so let's just agree to disagree, and not discuss this topic in the future." Do not defend yourself or your position on anything. She WILL try to get you to do that. Refuse. Just very nicely and politely tell her these things are not up for discussion between you. Done! Anyone who would continue after that is a moran.

"Race" is just a construct..... - wheres_my_job

[ In Reply To ..]
There are no "races." We are all human. The potential for some people to invent a concept like "race" came about due to geographical isolation for long periods of time, and then people encountering each other, that's all. It's a big planet. We're all spread out. Race is really meaningless scientifically - politically explosive, but if you look at the big picture - it doesn't really mean anything. Just tell her you believe race is meaningless concept. Let her hang up on you. Then celebrate and enjoy the rest of your day - as a member of the HUMAN race.

Similar Messages:

Nov 20, 2010
My grandma's side of the family has a biannual family reunion and it's a pretty big party. Every reunion a different families "hosts" the reunion. Hosting generally means they pick a location for everyone to gather, book the facility and caterers, send out the newsletter, and contact local motels and campgrounds for special group rates, etc. Then of course their in charge of the events at the dinner like giving prizes for who traveled the farthest, the oldest, the you ...

Feb 03, 2012
Love. ...

Dec 24, 2010
Ok. I am not sure what I need here but maybe some opinions would be great!!! I moved against my parents wishes (about a yr ago), I am 35 y/o and took my son (13 y/o)with me. They wanted me to move to be near them after my divorce. I did not want this and wanted to take my son and make it on my own. However the problems do not end there, my parents then tried to take my son from me. I have been disowned by my mother after a strongly worded email stating if she ...

Nov 24, 2009
I only just learned about this tradiotion, I guess it's a northeast thing. But I thought it was a charming little thing. Just wondered if anyone on the board did it. ...

Nov 26, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving to all, especially those who are working! Here's the Family Guy funny: They're doing a parody with Michael Jackson eating Frosted Mini-Wheats. In the parody, Jackson says: "The kid in me likes the frosted side but the adult in me likes the kid in me". ...

Jun 09, 2011
I would like to ask for prayer for my family. Just the highlights: Hubby has had 12 brain/head surgeries in the past 3 1/2 years and is now permanently disabled. Son's wife found out she was pregnant and moved out. Bank has foreclosed on our home of 16 years and wants us out by the 20th of June. Satan has had his hands in our business for too long. I am asking Jesus to shield us and help us to keep Satan at bay. ...

Dec 04, 2009
I've had a lesion growing on my arm since September and I took it to the doc, and it turns out is a basal cell carcinoma with elements of squamous cell, not yet biopsy proven. Now, my background here is that my mother always felt I was a hypochondriac - her favorite saying was "you have more aches and pains than any other six kids!" so I'm always confused emotionally when it comes to health issues. I don't want to be melodramatic, since, as MTs, we all know that this i ...

Nov 22, 2010
I live in a state that I hate (Montana). I was born and raised here and all my family is here. I did live in California and Arizona for a while but came back to Montana because of my family. I am now a single mom and my ex is not in our life at all. I have an amazing family who helps me out so much. But I hate living here. I hate the long, cold, awful winters. I am not a hunter, fisher, hiker so there isn't much to do here for me. I am torn ab ...

Nov 19, 2010
We have the holidays coming up and birthdays, hoping we make it as ex not paying his child support. Pray that the work will flow in and I will be able to make it through until the beginning of the year without too many problems. Tthank you so much ...

Apr 27, 2011
Hello: Just need somewhere to get this off my mind. I had it out with my youngest niece today over her not going to her GED classes. "I have a headache, I'm tired." Just all sorts of excuses. I told her that I was angry with her, that attending classes is mandatory, that I was tired of her excuses. She basically told me to F--- off and stormed to her room. Background: Niece is 18. She moved here with her mother (my sister) and my other niece in ...

Oct 10, 2011
Like so many of us today my family is beginning to suffer from this economy tremendously. Much job loss in my family, potential loss of their homes, and now finding out addictions in some members that were surprising. I see this as all coming from the stress of worry. I have begun to pray for healing for my brothers and sisters that they be given what they need for their families - steady work, and supporting their efforts to get counseling and go to rehab. Please pra ...

May 02, 2012
So a few months ago my grandmother got pneumonia which lead to CHF and then she was put on a ventilator...before that the last time she was in the hospital was 25 years ago for a hysterectomy. The medication they put her on made her hallucinate. She is still in the hospital, has gone thru 3 different hosptials, swing bed, etc. Now, she is in Senior Care for 2 weeks to see how she does. She is still not herself. They are hoping it is delirium instead of dementia, but also mentioned brain damage f ...

May 16, 2012
I posted last Christmas about my daughter's mother-in-law. There seems to be no end to her drama. She said, "New Rule. We only spend $50 on the grandchildren for Christmas." They are my only 2 grandchildren, and I spend much more than that on them, but I guess it makes her feel bad. She has something like 15 grandchildren. I flat out told my daughter that I would not let her dictate what I give my children. She alternates visiting my daughter&# ...

Jul 08, 2013
Please say a prayer for my family and myself that we all get through this okay. My dad just passed away and my family is taking it pretty hard. He suffered so long with MS. I feel like a nervous wreck. I lost one dog in September unexpectedly, another dog in March from old age, and now my dad. This is just too much. Plus the stress of having to make a paycheck to pay our mortgage. ...

Aug 01, 2013
I hope this doesn't come off as rambling but here goes..... We're having a disagreement in the family over family get togethers and as a side bar my 22 yo college son. First my son does not call the other family members like he should. Well my answer is always he's in college, he's busy and he's 22. What 22 yo is conscious of proper manners, I mean at 22 I was also a little self absorbed and clueless about the appropriate behavior with more or less ke ...

Jan 06, 2015
I'm not sure if this is the right place to discuss things not related to transcription. I tried to use the gab board, but it wasn't working. Anyway, any advice is greatly appreciated! I live hundreds of miles from my parents, and now I get along with them much better. My Mom often calls me daily, but she is very rude if she gets another call. She will say someone else is calling, I have to go. or so and so is calling, call me back later or I'll call you back. &n ...

Jan 11, 2015
I have a great aunt who came into quite a bit of money years ago and she shared lots with her granddaughter. Her granddaughter has not been one to make much of herself, partied alot in college, didn't finish and was given a job as a secretary at her mother's place of employment. She bought her granddaughter a couple of cars and eventually had a house built for her, which her granddaughter got absolutely free. After grandmother bought her the house, she and her boyfriend got ...

Apr 26, 2015
Hi :) I have a family problem. I will give you some background information first. Sorry for the length as I try to explain. I was raised in a small town by my mother and stepfather (she has been with him since I was 1, so for many years). I grew up with one sibling, my half-sister (my mom and stepdad's daughter). I always knew of my biological father. I would see him at various events, and he was at my 6th grade graduation, although he never really said more to me than h ...

Oct 16, 2015
I ride the bus regularly as does this certain family (mom + 3 small children). They all smell. Its not BO, but whatever it is, it is bad, like moldly clothes or something. They stink up the whole bus. I'm worried I stink when I get to work. How do I handle this? ...

Jan 27, 2016
I come from a family who were all intact, that is, no divorce or overt abuse or anything of that nature. Because of that, I think they think I got it better than I actually did. In fact, my mother believes I've had an easy life. I've always had emotional problems and was on disability until a couple of years ago and became an MT. When I was younger, if therapists asked me about my upbringing, I never thought anything was attributed to any problem with my upbringing and thought it w ...

Mar 27, 2017
According to the article "President Donald Trump will name his son-in-law, White House senior adviser Jared Kushner, to lead a new office responsible for streamlining and overhauling the federal government." The article also says "We should have excellence in government," Kushner told The Post in an interview Sunday. "The government should be run like a great American company. Our hope is that we can achieve successes and efficiencies for our customers, who are the citizens." I beli ...

Nov 09, 2009
Ok, I'm sure this has happend to many of you. Your family members come to you for a diagnosis since "you hear it all the time". My sister has been complaining for a very long time now of severe mood swings, slowly putting on some weight, and thinning hair. I suggested she have her doctor check her thyroid since our mother has a thyroid issue. Well the test came back within normal limits (what ever that is, lol), but she had anemia with hemoglobin in the 7s. She had to have 5 iron fusions; s ...

Jan 19, 2010
I like Lever and use any of their types they offer. I like the Aloe the best.When I was younger it was either Dial, Irish Spring or Ivory. Soaps have come along way. ...

Jan 20, 2010
I have been researching my family for a little over a year now and am totally obsessed. Anyone out there feel the same way? I love talking with my grandparents about their lives and relatives and then researching those people to find out more. ...

Nov 17, 2010
This show just keeps getting funnier. Whole show tonight non-stop laughter ... and, oh, how I need a good laugh these days. Especially, what about Gloria with that bee-bee gun ? !! HA !!!! ...

Apr 01, 2010
For years now my husband's sister and her husband have been trying to manipulate the family at every opportunity we are together. It has become somewhat laughable at time because it's always expected. At other times it is tremendously frustrating. They find a way to throw a wedge into the plans even when the plans are bent to accommodate them. They are never satisfied and cannot seem to go with the flow as the rest of us try to do. Unfortunately& ...

Sep 23, 2010
What do you do when your family doesn't like the same food/meals, most of the time? Hubby and son.One likes orange chicken one doesn't , one likes fried/baked chicken one doesn't, one wants mac and cheese with hamburger in it and one doesn't, two like tuna fish sandwiches with relish and one has to have his made before we put the relish in and on it goes.For the last year (while in school) it seems that everything I fix or say is for dinner one or the other doesn't like ...

Aug 27, 2010
I was reminded of America as I browsed these. Capitalism at its finest! LOL. ...

May 07, 2010
What does that include and for how many members of the family? Do you take a summer vacation? Winter vacation? Spring break? All of them? ha TIA ...

Jun 28, 2011
I need some advice out there...I am trying desperately to cool off before broaching this subject with my sister. First off, my sister is married with very young children and I am not with quite a bit older children. Anymore when I am around my sister she takes it upon herself to critize my parenting. For instance, my youngest plays sports, but this year it is a semi-traveling team. I have a used car, compared to her new one. I cannot afford a new one right now or a ...