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MIL advice

Posted: Oct 25, 2010

Our family was planning a trip to Disney World this summer and then I decided that maybe we should go to California (where we are from) and go to Disneyland, that way grandparents can come. Since then, my MIL has taken it upon herself to plan out ourentire vacation, starting with trying to make our motel reservations on the drive there and ending with making them on the way back. If she were just being nice, it would be completely different, but really, she is just being controlling. My husband and I are both adults and are completely capable of making our own reservations and planning our own cross country route. Also, she has alotted me 1 day in 2 weeks to visit with my family and already planned dinners and such with her friends, whom I don't even know and don't really care to visit. I also have an aging and unhealthy aunt and uncle whom I would like to visit, but when I mentioned that, she began crying (not the first time that this has happened) about how we are not going to visit with her at all. She has decided that we are going to stay at her house (which was not our plan) and told me that if I must, I can have dinner with my father instead of going to her friend's house one night, but she is taking my children with her and my husband will be going with her. How can I take my vacation back without starting a huge family feud (again)? My husband will not say anything to her and it was very difficult to talk him into going to California at all because this is how she always is and it makes him angry.

;

All you can do is put your foot down and say - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
this is the way it is. The only way she can control your vacation is if you let her. Have a talk with your husband. To be fair to both sides of the family and your kids, spend 1/2 with his family and 1/2 with yours. If your husband doesn't like it, he can stay with his mother the entire time. She cannot dictate to you where you stay and especially when YOU can have YOUR kids. There is no easy way around this, be tactful and tell her and your husband YOUR plans. Unless she is paying for the reservations, stay where you like, stop when you want to stop, and travel the route you want to travel.

I would thank her for making HER plans and then tell - her what mine and my family's plans will be.

[ In Reply To ..]
I would not let her dictate one hour of my time nor my family's time.

Stand your ground. Firmly, nicely but stand your ground.

She knows exactly what she is doing. It is a coniving and dirty method of operation she is employing.

You are not alone... - Stacie

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Kendra,

Your story is eerily reminiscent of the history of my MILs behavior with our family. After 15+ years of dealing with her destructive manipulations and control, and my husband doing NOTHING to stop her, plus allowing ME to take all the heat for standing up to her (always politely, mind you), I have finally distanced myself completely from this nutjob. There was no coming to mutual agreements or compromises with her; nor could she be trusted to keep promises to back off and behave herself. She just got sneakier and more covert in carrying out her games and getting her way. When she eventually started to involve my children in her insane plots and got caught badmouthing me to the rest of the family to boot, I finally wised up and stopped being polite!! I removed myself from her life and told her straight out that I was not going to allow her games and abuse in my life anymore. It was the best decision I ever made for myself! My children are grown now and gave their grandmother more chances than I can say, but she blew every one of them because it was far more important to remain in control and get her way, than it was to have family in her life. My children no longer have a relationship with her, and that was totally of HER choosing.

Sorry for the rant, but the pain of all those years and having no support from my husband, still gets to me sometimes. I really feel for you and your situation, but unfortunately, if the sons of these controlling witches don't take charge and stand up for their families and themselves, these women will just continue to bulldoze everyone in their path, and sadly, the DILs are the ones who take all the hits. Btw, the bawling and dramas that always ensue when anyone dares to speak up, is a CLASSIC response for this type. My MIL pulled the same stupid boo-hoo stunts like clockwork anytime her plans were questioned or when she was politely asked to change them. Then, because I'd stood up to her, she would slash me to bits to all her cronies behind my back...only she'd "conveniently" forget to tell the part where SHE had overstepped boundaries and disrespected me and our family!

You can't win except to refuse to participate in their games anymore. They not only thrive on all the control, but also on all the drama they stir up when everyone gets upset.

My only advice is that I hope you might be able to get your husband to counseling and get him to open his eyes and grow a spine. Mine refused counseling, but I truly believe it could've made all the difference. I got counseling for myself, however, and this is how I finally stopped the abuse in my life from this woman. Of course, I have no respect left for my husband...but that's another story.

GOOD LUCK!!

Hey, I think that is my mother in law too - unbelievable.

[ In Reply To ..]
I got uninvited to X-mas last year 2 days before and was scheduled to work 12 hours shifts both of those days. I had to go out and buy our holiday ham for me and my daughters after working all darn day and having to deal with all those last minute shoppers. What a mess. To top it all off, I had rearranged my family get together because his mom insisted she had to do it christmas eve! Then we ended up sitting home alone on christmas eve.

I also told hubby I would never attend another function. Drew the line and drew it big!

My daddy always told me, "The only good mother in law is a dead mother in law."

My thoughts - anon

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All good advice from the posters. It's horrible to have to go through something like that with your family/in-laws. I had a very manipulating MIL, not in the sense like yours is but mine just never liked me (that is she liked me up until I turned off our funding her drinking binges). After that I got wind from in-laws here and there that she was telling them horrible things about me, and told them I was treating her badly and was very rude and inconsiderate to her and she told them I said things I didn't. It was just a horrible situation. Now we don't live near her so don't have that problem anymore....Anyway...didn't mean to go off topic, but I kind of know a little of what you talk about.

This is what I would say to her if it was me. I would say. Thank you so much for offering us to stay at your place. Looking at our plans we will be out to see you from this date to this date, and I'd leave it at that. If she says, what about the other dates, I would say. Well we were talking it over and we have decided that it is only fair that we spend equal time with both sides of the family, so we will be out to see you and everyone on (DH's name) side from this date to this date, and the other half of the vacation is going to be spent with my family and we've got our plans with them covered. Then I'd say we are so looking forward to spending some time with you, and my family is equally as anxious to see us too, so this will be a really nice vacation for everyone. Say it like you've already got it planned that everyone is going to have a good time. If she pushes about what you are going to be doing the other dates I'd just say, I'm not sure but my mom's and family have got plans for us.

If you say it really nice and tell them how much you are looking forward to seeing them, but on these dates your going to be busy. If she starts crying you can say something like. I know it's hard because my family cries too that we are not spending all our time with them, but it's the only fair thing to do and we only have a limited amount of time.

Anyway...that is what I would tell her.

Thanks everyone for the advice... - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
had a long talk with hubby this afternoon (he is currently in Spain) and told him that maybe the best way to handle it is to plan out our trip very carefully and just send her an itinerary. I thought that if she were angry, that would give her plenty of time to get over it. He says that she will not get over it. Maybe we'll go to Florida, after all, and avoid all of this drama. It would be cheaper and I would have to take off less time. The problem with that is that it doesn't get rid of the root problem. Again, thank you to everyone for good advice. I really think, though, that until my husband stands up to her, nothing will change. I will still be the evil daughter-in-lay who doesn't let her have her way when everyone else in her life does whatever she tells them to because they don't want to deal with her if they don't.

Hey - we could start a club called - "The Evil Daughter-in-Laws Club" - LOL

[ In Reply To ..]
I even have the "I'll kill you" statements from my MIL.

You are SO right... - Stacie

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...about being labeled the "evil DIL" whenever you don't let these MILs have their way! And everyone else in the family will be content to sit by in stone silence while your character and reputation are smeared into oblivion, as the MIL twists every situation to make herself out the proverbial "victim" and you the "monster DIL." Conveniently, this type of family dynamic allows everyone to avoid dealing with their own issues with these women, so they are happy to let us (DILs) take the fall each and every time. Obviously, no one gets to be in these positions of "power" without a great deal of 'cooperation' from everyone in the family!

I hope your vacation turns out the way you want, and that in the future your husband will step up and start doing his part to deal with HIS mother.

OMG - you just described my situation - nobody ever stood up for me

[ In Reply To ..]
Nobody ever said to their mother, mom, she wouldn't do that and sneak around your back, tell everyone in the city your problems, etc. They know me to be a very quiet, loving person who did anything and everything I could to help people out. She told all my brother and sister in laws horrible things about me and nobody ever stood up for me. Well except for my BIL who has a mental disability and said to her "I don't want to hear anything bad about anyone in the family". My husband and I moved out of the area and so did my BIL who stood up for me. We all couldn't be any happier. I don't trust any of them.

Reading a lot of posts here reminds me of that movie with Tyne Daly called "The Perfect Mother". That was one scary MIL.

Same here but worse, hubby wouldnt stand up to his mom on issues - concerning this kids. Now THAT is low. nm

[ In Reply To ..]
fyu

neither did mine - see message - nobody ever stood up for me

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Even when she said she wanted me dead. Therefore I told him I was moving out of state. He opted for me over his mom. At that point I didn't care whether he came or not. I was out of there.

There is a reason that when given the choice... - Kendra

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between being stationed in Mississippi and California, I chose to move to Mississippi. Although I miss home and miss my family, I would rather live somewhere completely foreign to me than be within a couple hour drive of my MIL. How sad is that?

My MILI - Rian

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Its too bad for all of you who don't get along with your MIL, or any family members!

My MIL and I have a great relationship. Nothing like what any of you have described. We have never had a problem with boundaries or interferences.

I love her like a second mom!

You ae so lucky - I always dreamed of having - a nice MIL

[ In Reply To ..]
Now that we live about 6 states away we get along very well, but when we lived in the same town it was horrible. She drank and she had some "mind problems" I later found out from my DH as he was growing up. Drinking, drugs, mood instability, etc. I never knew this. I had always dreamed of having someone I could go shopping with, learn how to make all my DHs favorite meals, and just get together and do things together. Her drinking problems continued and we were "just the best" when we were buying the booze and drinking with her. Once we stopped (eventually the money does run out), I became the DIL who was sneaky and horrible and she told my SILs and BILs that I was talking behind her back and telling people she was a psycho (which she was, but I didn't have any friends to tell that to). SIL confronted me once and I said who in the world would I even tell that to. I have no friends and the only people I hang out with are you and DHs side. She realized soon that it wasn't true. MIL also acused me of actually having an affair with her husband (ewww) and she let off a whole night of nasties on me one night telling me if I ever told anyone what she said she would kill me.

Within 3 weeks we left and moved a few states away where my cousin and his wife live. Couldn't be happier.

On a better note I had the MIL relationship I always longed for with my DH's grandmother. She taught me how to make his favorite dishes, we'd go shopping together, take walks in the park together, and talk about anything and everything, and she became my grandmother.

It's sad as I would have loved to have a wonderful relationship with my MIL, but guess you never really know what people have gone through in their lives and what you are walking into.

Who said we don't get along with... - Stacie

[ In Reply To ..]
any other family members? I have a great relationship with all those in my family who know how to respect boundaries and conduct themselves accordingly. Some MILs actually know how to do that, I get that. But, unfortunately, in the case of my MIL, it's not a reality. And after wasting far too many years trying to be accommodating and polite, I finally wised up that she was not interested in respecting our wishes or our family, and would never give up the entitlement she felt, nor the control she wanted to exert over everyone's lives. She was a runaway steamroller when it came to getting what she wanted, and literally, didn't care what she had to do or whom she had to hurt or alienate in the process. If you have never experienced this kind of insanity with your MIL, then there is no way you can relate.

. - anon

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Why should anyone wait for their husband to speak up for them? - Do my own talking

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I had a MIL from h@ll. However, I never put my husband in the position of "talking to her," when we are talking about MY life, MY children, and MY home (vacation as the case may be). When she constantly came over unannounced, tried to decorate my house, disciplined my children in a way I did not agree with, and wanted to constantly give me instructions on finances, I spoke up for myself!! I did not ask him how he felt about it. When I did not answer the door, used the term "none of your business," and flat out told her I did not agree with her childcare skills, that these are MY children, she got the message.

Now, she did go to my husband complaining and wanted him to "talk to me," which he refused to do. He knew better. She wonders why he would not stand up for her!! He was then basically put in the position of telling her that I was right. Yes, she cried, moaned, faked being sick, gossiped behind my back - my attitude was "whatever...." We did not have arguments. I put my foot down and things were done my way at my house, with my children, and with my money. I know she still talks behind my back. I really do not care, but she is very careful how she chooses her words and how she butts in.

I am perfectly capable of standing up for myself.. - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
and have done so in the past. What I want is for my husband to stand up for himself. He would just rather never return to California and never visit my family, than to visit his family and deal with his mother. I would tell her that this is the case, but she would never believe me and it would just make things worse. I have told her that she is not to go in my bedroom or go through my bills while she is in my home and even told her that if she cannot follow my rules in my house, she is not welcome to come back. However, I am tired of always being the bad guy. I want my husband to tell her how he feels and I really wish that my FIL would tell her how he feels, as well. Because for so many years, they both have decided to just let her have her way so that she won't throw a fit, she seems to think that I am the unreasonable person in this situation. I just wish that my husband would tell her that they only agree with her because they don't want to deal with the fallout if they don't. I doubt that will ever happen.

Speak up for us? - Stacie

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I don't think anyone is "waiting" for their husbands to speak up for them in these situations. We've all taken our steps to deal with these crazy MILs in our own way, but the fact remains that it's the husband's DUTY to first and foremost protect and honor his wife and children, especially when it involves HIS relatives. Likewise, it is the wife's duty to deal with HER family if they are causing problems. This keeps the "IL" from being a target as much as is possible, and serves the best interest of everyone involved. Sometimes (unfortunately), the wife has no choice but to intervene when the husband is lacking the spine to do so. But usually, all that this results in is more discourse and nasty labels being put on the DIL, no matter how respectfully she has behaved. It's a no-win situation for most DILs in this position, which is another reason the husband shouldn't want his wife to be put in that position in the first place! It all comes down to RESPECT.

Likewise, I think we all realize that we're going to be badmouthed behind our backs by these women no matter what we say or do, so we just have to decide for ourselves how far we want to take it. In the case of my MIL, her behavior only escalated whenever I did speak up and tried to deal with her on my own. So, finally, after years of her abuse and manipulations, I had to make the decision if I wanted to lower myself to her level and perpetuate the drama and upset; or, would everyone (including myself) be better served by my just backing off and cutting her out of my life. I opted for the latter and have found great peace in this decision, even though (predictably), she made a months-long drama out of even that after I cutoff all contact. When she finally realized that I would no longer entertain her insanity in my life, she had no choice but to aim her sights elsewhere. I still hear rumblings through the family grapevine as to all the nasty things she continues to say about me, but it rolls off my back and I just have to laugh at her pathetic desperation at this point.

You must like drama. - Tell her to shove it.

[ In Reply To ..]
If your husband doesn't like that, then tell him to shove it. My goodness you people need to grow a backbone.

Trust me, she will see it your way or she will not see you at all.

Grow some darned bojangles and tell her you will be making your own plans and you might stop in to see her or maybe not. Geez.. it is your vacation, why are you involving her at all? It is none of her business.

Your husband needs to grow a pair, too, unless this woman supports you financially. I would tell her to go fly a kite.

Re: You must like drama - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
I see your point; however, treating the MIL the way you suggested would be equal to behaving on her level, IMO. That said, the HUSBAND really does need to grow a pair and keep his mother in line. If she refuses to comply and starts with the waterworks....then, it's SEE YA!!

The thing is... - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
that she is my husband's mother and always will be, whether I like her or not. She is also my children's grandmother. I can't stand her conniving ways, but I have to understand that I am not the only person involved. If I liked drama, I would do just what you suggest and, trust me, there would be plenty. I was trying to figure out how to deal with the situation with the least amount of drama. Thank you for your constructive insight, but I was actually trying to figure out how to go about this without causing World War III.

Re: The thing is... - Stacie

[ In Reply To ..]
Point well taken, Kendra. Your desire to deal with this situation amicably is commendable and the first route that anyone should take in these situations, unless the children's safety is at risk for some reason (as became the case with my MIL). Likewise, I can fully relate to your dilemma with the respect you have for her place in your family's life, and trying to find a peaceful way in which to handle her control and manipulations. Earlier, I suggested counseling for your husband to help him stand up to her, but you may want to consider some counseling for yourself as I eventually did. The counselor helped me to see exactly what was behind this woman's behavior and what I should/shouldn't do to deal with it. With an uncooperative husband, I was left to make very difficult decisions on my own, but ultimately, I had to do what was right for myself and my family--with or without his help!

I don't know how far your MIL has gone with her control and interference, but mine became downright vicious and blatant in her disrespect, and even endangered our daughters' safety due to her rebellion and ignorance. She would intentionally disregard our rules when she had care of our children, and would tell them to lie and not tell us when she'd left them alone in the mall or in a car while she had a pedicure, etc. Other times she would drill them about the rules that we set for them, and would make cutting remarks that could only be construed as the deliberate undermining of our authority. This woman had an agenda and was working it every time she had the chance. My husband couldn't see it, or just refused to see it and therefore didn't have to confront her. It was an ugly situation that had no possibility of a positive outcome since she was never going to change.

I really hope your situation isn't as hopeless as mine was and wish you all the best.

I have my boundaries... - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
Because of her blatant disregard of our rules for out children (I think she only disregards them to irritate me, but it does pose a safety risk when she allows an 18-month-old to run around with a fork), she and my FIL (who is a perfectly wonderful person) are not allowed to watch the children alone. My husband or I must be present at all times, which drives her crazy because we do allow my family to watch them. My husband will never say anything directly to her, but he does understand how she is. My biggest problem is that although he and I make decisions together, he will never come out and tell her that we made the decision, not just me, so she thinks that I said she can't watch the kids, when really, he is the one who originally brought it up. I think that he has just been abused in some fashion or another by her his entire life, so this is how he copes with her and I am not sure it will ever change. Counseling is a really good idea.

Kendry, when it comes right to it, you can - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
either go along with her rules or not. No matter how you handle it, she is not going to understand. Do what you have to do to have a nice vacation. Basically, tell your husband he can stay with her the entire time, but you are going to be with your family at least half of the time. There is no easy way around it.

Sorry about misspelling your name Kendra. - NM

[ In Reply To ..]
x

No problem about the name... - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
and I fear that you are right. When it comes down to it, my husband will come with me, but I just wish there were a nicer way to do it without making her hate me more than she already does. Again, thank everyone for their input.

Boundaries... - Stacie

[ In Reply To ..]
Kendra, I can't believe how many parallels there are between our MIL experiences...and how our husbands handle (or choose NOT to handle) their mothers. My counselor explained that my husband's responses were typical of someone who has been raised by an overbearing parent (big surprise), and who was severely emotionally damaged in childhood. He's also been pretty self-destructive most of his life with various addictions, and has gradually become verbally and mentally abusive as well. Unfortunately, he remains unwilling to address any of this, even at the expense of the disintegration of our marriage and family, with denial being his biggest obstacle to this day. Interestingly, his father (like your FIL), is a gem of a guy, but I've come to realize in recent years that he, too, has succumbed to the bullying ways of this woman and is unwilling to stand up to her at all. She literally dictates if he can or can't visit us (since we do still include him in family events even though she is no longer welcome in our home). She has told my husband straight out that his father will NOT be allowed to visit us unless SHE is invited too. Why she would ever want to visit somewhere where she's not wanted is beyond me, but I suspect it's all just a bluff and another manipulation to get her husband to do what she wants. I'm sure her thinking is such that if she can't have a relationship with us, then he's not going to either! Whenever we've extended an invitation to him she has made his life a living hell until he finally gives in and declines the invitation. This is what I meant earlier by how far she is willing to go to get her way. She not only has no qualms about hurting my 73-year-old FIL and depriving him of enjoying time with our family, but she also has no care or concern whatsoever about depriving her granddaughter of his company as well--even on her birthdays when he has been invited to the parties. This is the epitome of a self-centered being and I find it completely and utterly disgusting. Not to mention, that anytime these invitations have been extended to him, she spins it all into something ugly against ME and spreads it around to all her cronies. She's got a whole world of people believing she's just a loving, poor little grandma and MIL who has been victimized and shunned by a "monster" DIL.

Sadly, while I understand the dynamics at play here, it's been really hard not to lose respect for my FIL as well, since obviously, this woman would have NO power over him if HE wasn't allowing it! All I can guess is that she must make his life so miserable when he doesn't comply with her demands that nothing is worth standing up to her--even when it comes to family relationships. Now THAT'S truly sad, but it certainly shows the depth of the control and the severity of the damage these women can cause. It's just all so unnecessary and sad.

Oh absolutely.. - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
My FIL will NEVER stand up to his wife. He did stand up for me once, while they were visiting us when we lived in Washington, and apparently she would not speak to him at all (not one word) for the entire two-day trip home. (Personally, I thought he hit the jackpot--I wish she'd stop speaking to me!) But, that was the last time that he will ever stand up to her for me, I am sure. She comes to my home and tells me when to go to bed--that is how controlling she is. It makes me angry and I find myself staying up until 1 a.m., when normally I would be in bed by 10, which is ridiculous, too. It's like her treating me like a child makes me act like one, so I made a deal with myself to not do this anymore. It is so bad that last time they came to visit, she was telling my FIL when to use the bathroom and he is so beat down that he told me that he goes, even if he doesn't have to, which just makes me think that he's a weenie. It's a terrible situation. I just found out that she has pictures of my kids up at work and brags about them, which is weird because she never pays any real attention to them and they are lucky to get a buck or two for their birthdays (and I am NOT exaggerating). It is like a big act to prove that she is the doting grandmother that she is not and that I am the wicked witch. Oh well, I don't imagine that it will ever change.

To "darned bojangles" author, I thank you for a - diehardmtndewfan

[ In Reply To ..]
MUCH-NEEDED chuckle at this hour!!! Love it!!!

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I need some advice about my sister-in-law. We are going to her house next week for three days. Well, she wanted my husband to help her buy some power tools and teach her how to use them and put up a trellis. So that was the plan for Friday. I was okay with that – didn’t feel too left out. Now she has made other plans for Saturday that I don't want to do. How do I politely tell her I’m not into spend ...

Aug 18, 2016
Just got on line to check bank account held jointly with fiance. I see a charge on a credit card that I don't recognize (plus a service fee charge). Questioned him about it a couple of days ago and got vague answer (s). Today, I called the 1-800 number and asked what kind of businesses they billed for. I was told a wide array of different things. One of which could be porn videos. Not happy at all as I do NOT want this in my house. Why can ...

Sep 02, 2016
Asking advice here. My mom is in a nursing home. They provide great, compassionate care, and there's a waiting list to get in. I'm grateful that she's in a place we can afford, and it's only 3 miles from my home. When the need arose, I got her a wheelchair, which Medicare is still paying for. It was a brand-new chair that was fitted to her petite frame, and she was able to propel herself with her feet. About 6 weeks ago, I noticed that the chair in h ...

Jun 13, 2010
I am separated from my husband and soon divorcing which is actually a very good thing for my son and me. We were under a lot of stress, pressure and difficulties with living in his house. But my son grew up with his kids and he has not told them anything about us never coming back. I tried to get him to go to counseling, and despite many of my friends warnings even went to our pastor which just made things worse, b/c my husband works under this guy as a pastor too. ...

Jul 25, 2012
Cat people, should I take in a neighbor's cat? In a nutshell: We thought this "stray" was hanging around our yard last year. I talked to her and she let me pet her. Nasty winter weather came. We couldn't take her in because we have an old blind cat who tries to fight her off sometimes. So I went door to door with her picture, looking for her home so we wouldn't have to take her to a shelter. Bingo. She "lives" a couple houses away. The woman there was very nice, has a sec ...

Nov 17, 2012
Hi all, I have been offered a position in the front office of a medical facility. I am probably going to take it. While my problem will not weigh into my not taking it, I need some advice on how to handle something. Way back when I worked in a large office, there was ALWAYS something going on where they wanted everyone to chip in financially for something. Somebody is having a baby, somebody's somebody is having a baby, somebody is having a birthday, somebody is retiring ...

Aug 11, 2016
Well, I went to a job fair yesterday, had to go back and my daughter went with me and we both got jobs! Problem with mine is it's only seasonal till Feb. Of course, if the job continues and I've done well through the training and the actual job till Feb., I could possibly still have a job. Better pay right off the bat and $1.00 for EVERY HOUR worked till Feb. bonus in Feb.!!! I need my high school diploma or transcripts and can't find them anywhere! My transcripts are with m ...

Nov 01, 2013
I need some opinions about whether or not to try to contact my father who I have not seen in about 30 years. My dad left when I was nine and moved out of state. I think I saw him one time not long after that. The last time I even spoke to him on the phone was right before I graduated high school. He had wrote me letters and sent cards for a few years after he left asking me to come visit, which I never agreed to do. We didn't have a very close relationship even when we lived in the ...

Jan 13, 2014
I would appreciate any advice on how to sell Hummel figurines, etc. My stepfather wants to start clearing out a lot of things in preparation for the future, and in the event I would move in with him at some point. My mother died four years ago, and during her lifetime she bought a lot of this sort of thing, along with the colored glass in yellow, green and blue. I have never sold anything on eBay, and don't know how to go about getting a decent price for these items. ...

Jun 21, 2014
I don't know if I need advice or just want to vent. My husband and I enjoy having close friends over, going out to dinner with them, doing get togethers and other such things. Out of 4 couples, 2 of the couples are so dysfunctional that it makes me crazy. No alcohol is involved here, so we can't even blame that. I don't claim to know what goes on behind closed doors, but when we're all together, it's the women who fly off the handle at their husbands for the stupi ...

Jan 27, 2015
My cat is hiding underneath my neighbor's shrubs and will not come home. He is afraid I will keep him inside so he doesn't trust me anymore. He stayed out all night last night and I finally saw him this morning. I tried coaxing him, bribing him with food, and he just ran away to find a safer hiding spot. He got into a cat fight on Friday and got a small puncture wound. I kept him in on Sunday to keep an eye on the wound and he was not happy about it. That's why he doesn' ...

Jan 30, 2015
I have a problem with my ear. When my pneumonia started, one day I had what I thought was the starting of an earache. Then that went away and I ended up sick just with the pneumonia. Okay it has been 28 days since my first day in the hospital. My ear has been stopped up since then and I have tried Claritin, Auralgan and Cortisporin Otic drops. Nothing is working. What could be wrong with it? I never have problems popping my ears after a cold or getting water in them. I didn't g ...

Mar 17, 2017
Need some advice. Here's what happened (by the way, I'm a 25-year MT veteran, which is why I'm posting here). I was unwell at work about 3 weeks ago, and it was determined that I should be admitted. Treatment lasted 8 days, and I feel great now! My doctor said I should apply for FMLA (famliy medical leave) since I took off more time than my employer's policy allows and may have further absences in the future. My doctor completed the form and signed ...

Mar 30, 2017
I had a severe dental infection and was given clindamycin. I was hesitant to take it, but did so with a probiotic. Now I am starting to have diarrhea. Does anyone have any advice on treating this OTC? I'm recently retired and have no insurance at present. Thanks in advance. ...

Feb 28, 2012
I have created an exceptional product that I want to list on e-Bay to make some extra money. Are there any experienced e-Bay sellers here who can give me some advice/tips/suggestions? Thanks! ...

Mar 28, 2011
Never been a great sleeper, but now I sleep about 1 hour at a time. I try to sleep about 6-1/2 to 7 hours, but am exhausted. Fall asleep fairly quickly, but can't stay asleep. Don't think am apneic. Tried Lunesta without much help. Tried Benadryl, again not much help. So tired. Makes typing misery to be so sleepy. ...

Mar 25, 2011
From my message below you know we have a stray cat. Today for the first day I held my hand out and she sniffed at the tip of my outstretched fingers. Think she is finally starting to warm up. Doesn't run away when we walk out. Well guess what....she's going to have kittens. At least we are 99.8% she is. She was thin when we started to feed a few weeks ago and now she's got a pouch when walking towards us you can see the sides bulging. Ever ...

Nov 03, 2009
Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. What do you do if you boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there. Go for the younger man - you might as well, they never mature anyway. Men are all the same - they just have different faces so we can tell them apart. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. T ...

Mar 11, 2011
Need advice. My son is 40 and has 2 children ages 12 and 14. He is getting divorced but that's not the main issue. For the past 20 years he has been sporadic in sending christmas cards/gifts, birthday and mother's day cards/gifts. His wife would often cover for him but only some of the time. I don't believe I have ever had a card, phone call or gift for mother's day. The last few years I have gotten nothing on any of the aforementioned "sp ...

Nov 30, 2009
I really need some help here and this is the only place to get it fast. My husband and I are separated. I caught him having "affair" at work, he was paying for some lady at work's car repairs, and sabotaged my daughter's attempt to work in this lady's department, along with lots and lots of lies and secrets and covering up. Short story, when confronted, he moved out and filed for divorce (and, of course is blaming me for the whole thing, saying I kicked him out - ...