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depression in seniors
Posted: Oct 19, 2009
My boyfriend's parents are quite elderly and mother is slightly demented but alert and oriented most of the time. They sleep until 11 or 12 noon daily and go to bed around 10 p.m. The rest of the time they drive to McDonald's for 2 meals a day and otherwise sit in chairs staring at the TV (which is turned all the way up, rest of the house dark). The father is cranky and argumentative, increasingly so. The family calls them "happy as clams." I see depression -- they would appear to have little reason to get up in the morning and little reason to stay up at night. I think it's also part of the father growing increasing petulant and angry. Does anyone have information on depression in the elderly and its manifestations?
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Why are you so concerned? - Senior myself
[ In Reply To ..]These are not your inlaws, family or the like. I stay up very late of a night and sleep in the next morning. My aunt who is 80+ stays up late, sleeps late. Father went to bed early and got up fairly early. These are all what we wanted to do, not because of depression. I spent time this morning in the bed because just felt so good, cold morning, just did not have to do much of anything so I watched a program until around 10, my liking so I did. Others donĂ¢€™t have to have the same wake/sleep hours you have for them to be happy. When I am in my workroom of a night, the rest of the house dark, in fact when I watch TV in the living room, rest of house dark. My husband complains I have it up too high. I say he talks too loud because he drives a big truck and trys to talk over that racket. We are happy as clams though. What are their ages and is their son concerned about them as much as you?
why - elecampane
[ In Reply To ..]It's not the actual sleeping in, it's the being in bed for 14 hours a day in addition to the constant McDonald's diet and the anger/beligerence/isolation issues, not to mention lack of any exercise, lack of cleanliness and frank deterioration in personal hygiene.
You did not answer my questions and those were - Senior myself
[ In Reply To ..]How old are they? They are not your parents or family and you are not even a DIL, so again why are you in their business? I donĂ¢€™t do exercise, I could stay in for days at a time with my pets, really do not miss humans that much and how do you know about their lack of cleanliness or their personal hygiene? That seems so strange coming from a nonmember of the family or even what you would call a close friend.
answer to questions - Elecampane
[ In Reply To ..]They are mid 70s and 80s. I have been an integral part of the family for 12 years, even though there is no official marriage license. I stay at their house and visit and that is why I am familiar with their situation.
Everyone's idea of a healthy lifestyle is different. As mentioned, I don't think it is healthy to sleep for 14 hours a day every day, have no social or community connections (a new thing for them) due to increasing hostility and beligerence in addition to a diet that is 90% McDonald's fast food. As mentioned, their only activity and interaction with the world other than McDonald's is watching the TV.
As a reasonably caring individual I would be concerned about any aging couple that had such changes occurring in their routine, particularly the increasing anger issues and isolation, whether they were family or not. To my thinking, anyone that isolated, angry and hostile is not "Happy as a clam."
early dementia? - mt30+
[ In Reply To ..]Could be early dementia. I have had to deal with this in my parents and am now dealing with it I think in my sister.
Am more on the side of 70 myself and I still feel - Senior myself
[ In Reply To ..]there are boundaries in life. I never would step over a boundry, say like with my aunt who has a son, to say what I feel about her depression or the lack of. That is not my place to say anything. I am not her child although I am related to her. You, in this case, even though these people have let you come into their lives, are not related and therefore I think I would let their son decide on if there are issues there and if he wants to take a stand on it. How do you know, unless you are in their bedroom with them, that mamma and dad arent having their own little good times of their own? That is, unless you are perhaps peeking through the keyhole to keep an eye on them.
I think this is known as apathy on your part - Elecampane
[ In Reply To ..]With a nasty comment thrown in about peeping. Very sad. Please read my posting on depression in the elderly down below. It is only a matter of time until the husband in this situation gets into a physical altercation with someone in a parking lot with the amount of hostility he has.
I believe myself and the family were simply thinking of informing the family physician so he can ask some gentle questions and possibly also counsel regarding diet and exercise.
I'm not sure why I thought some folks on a gab board for medical transcriptionists might have some common-sense insight. Most people have advised to pretend it doesn't exist and have not even bothered to read the details of the problems. My prayer is that should anyone have elderly parents or in-laws or even neighbors with the same problems that they won't pretend it isn't there. I admit there are limitations to what we can do but totally apathy is a sad route to take also.
I, on the other hand, think it is someone else's business - Senior myself
[ In Reply To ..]You are an outsider, you do understand that, donĂ¢€™t you? Not married to the son, only being able to live in their home. I had a g-aunt who was out in her front yard 1 day in her nightgown, the neighbor called her SIL to advise her. When you talk about informing the family physician, are you able to talk with him, are you signed on to their records to even hold a conversation with their doctor? HIPAA overrules in situations like this, unless they have you signed on. I have worked before in teen/adult psychiatric/drug abuse situations so I know about the signs of depression, donĂ¢€™t need charts to tell me. Why is their son not stepping forward? If he is not signed on with their medical records, he would under the law not be able to talk to a doctor regarding them. My husband had to sign me on before I could talk with his doctor's offices about him and I am his NEXT of kin.
Not sure how this got so convoluted - Elecampane
[ In Reply To ..]The kids in this family, who range in ages from late 40s to early 60s have power of attorney, etc. However, I have no intention of talking to the parents physician and that was never my question. I was simply trying to gather some information whether others had had a similar experience with depression in elderly parents. I simply wanted to alert my boyfriend and his siblings of the possibility of a depression in this case. That's it. No snooping, no ratting them out to their physician on my own. As mentioned, I found what I needed on the internet -- and it corroborated exactly what I was thinking was happening.
As a side note for you apathetic types, my boyfriend's sister committed suicide at age 48. She was a physician and everyone in the family just looked away with regard to her depressions and basically pretended it was fine and none of their business.
What are their ages? I agree with below. They don't sm - sally forth
[ In Reply To ..]sound depressed. Older people get into habits they are comfortable with. It isn't depression. They feel they're old enough to do what they want, when they want.
I'm 61 myself. Wish I could do whatever I want, but I have to work.
the above. - n/m
[ In Reply To ..]n/m
above posts - MT55
[ In Reply To ..]Have to agree -- I just turned 54, go to bed when I am tired, and get up between 9:30 and noon -- My b-day was last week and DS called me at 10:00 am and was amazed that I was still in bed -- I lived for 10 years on PST and now am on EST and I try telling my body a different time zone but "bod" wont listen the other thing too is this danged time change thing - detest this new DST!!! LOL
You don't think 54 is exactly "old" do you? - MT30+
[ In Reply To ..]Please tell me you don't think 54 is old! Just getting started!
55 and unsure - Elecampane
[ In Reply To ..]I'm 55 and some days I feel like I'm just getting started and others I feel like I'm closer to the finish line!!
Depression in seniors response - clamt
[ In Reply To ..]I'm not sure what "quite elderly" means. There is a difference between doing the things you want to do such as stay up late, get up late, turn up the television as loud as you like, and keep the house dark and depression. I have personal experience in keeping elderly parents in my home--recently lost both of them in 2007 and 2008 ages 87 and 86. They both went through many stages--but never were they "depressed" but they did what they wanted to do and when they wanted to do it. Not until the very late stage did they not sleep--stay up late and get up early. So I'm thinking this may not be depression, but I do think they need more activity other than television--something to help make them move about and not become stiff which would make them more accident prone. If you are really close you may ask "favors" of them--small tasks like placing dirty dishes in the dishwasher or foldering the laundry. That makes them feel they are needed--just in case there is some depression going on. Best of luck!
Found this information - elecampane
[ In Reply To ..]I should have just consulted some mental health professionals. By the way, I am a grandmother myself.
___________________________
Signs and symptoms of depression in the elderly
Recognizing depression in the elderly starts with knowing the signs and symptoms. Depression red flags include:
Sadness
Fatigue
Abandoning or losing interest in hobbies or other pleasurable pastimes
Social withdrawal and isolation (reluctance to be with friends, engage in activities, or leave home)
Weight loss; loss of appetite
Sleep disturbances (difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, oversleeping, or daytime sleepiness)
Loss of self-worth (worries about being a burden, feelings of worthlessness, self-loathing)
Increased use of alcohol or other drugs
Fixation on death; suicidal thoughts or attempts
Depression without sadness
Older adults don't always fit the typical picture of depression. Many depressed seniors donĂ¢€™t claim to feel sad at all. They may complain, instead, of low motivation, a lack of energy, or physical problems. In fact, physical complaints, such as arthritis pain or headaches that have gotten worse, are often the predominant symptom of depression in the elderly.
Older adults with depression are also more likely to show symptoms of anxiety or irritability. They may constantly wring their hands, pace around the room, or fret obsessively about money, their health, or the state of the world.
I don't have any suggestions, but...sm - Stella-JRG
[ In Reply To ..]I'd like to say that I think it's nice that you're concerned. Some may say it's not your place, but I disagree. If you and the son have been together that long, that's longer than a lot of marriages unfortunately, and you should have an idea of the family dynamics. If this is new behavior for the parents, I'm surprised you're the only one to notice. Sometimes, family members are too close to a situation to see what's in front of them. Good luck.
Could it be that they are having financial problems? - FBL
[ In Reply To ..]That would explain the dark rooms, eating fast food (cheaper than gas or power to cook), and staying in bed to keep warm or to only cool one room. He is old enough to remember the depression, so even if they have $$ they could be fearful of losing it or running out in this recession.
I applaud your interest in their wellbeing, but if it is depression you won't be thanked for bringing it out. If the problem is financial, you could help by treating them to a night out to Bingo or a movie occasionally. Just an idea. Good luck!
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