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Brother's death


Posted: Jul 24, 2013

I posted several days ago about being abused by my sister.  Today she finally called after having thrown me away again a few weeks ago.  She called to tell me in her nasty, sarcastic voice that my brother died this morning at the shore.  He and his wife, grown children and grandchildren went to the shore for the week to celebrate their wedding anniversary.  They were walking on the boardwalk this morning and he got extreme chest tightness.  He fell on the boardwalk and was dead of a massive heart attack.   My sister and I got into a huge fight (today of all days), and I finally called her abusive and hung up.  I have an appointment on Tuesday with a therapist.  I feel I can take no more.  She was screaming at me and saying things that didn't even make sense.  She accused me of treating her like crap all her life, and nothing can be further from the truth.  She is so messed up in her head, and I need prayer now more than ever.  I know the hatred I am feeling is not right, but I am only human.  Please lift me up.  I can't go on much longer, really.   She turns everything around and makes me be the bad one, and her the always injured party.  I pray the therapist can help me cope.

 

 

;

you aren't alone - sending prayers

[ In Reply To ..]
what a hard, hard day for you. I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother. I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister. Please believe that you can love your sister from a distance. What you think is anger is not. It feels like anger, but it isn't. Give yourself permission to grieve and go to that session. Turn to the Lord and remember who gives you strength.

I have a sister who is exactly the same way. Give her empathy because her view of reality is distorted. Remember to keep love in your heart. You deserve to be lifted up and I am offering that to you from my little corner of the globe. You can be so strong with His help. You are loved and you can do this.

Peace to you.

God Bless - Hiya07

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm sorry for your loss. I will also lift you up to the Lord, that you will turn to Him at this very difficult time. Remember Job.

Anger is often fear - think about this - Fairminded

[ In Reply To ..]
While no one on a chat board can know or understand your situation as you can, it is true that anger and angry behavior are very often a mask for fear.

Try asking yourself what your sister fears and you may find some balance in all of the emotions.

You are on the right path in seeking help - a therapist can help you regain power in CHOOSING a better life as you go forward.

So sorry for your loss...

Evil sister - Elder sister

[ In Reply To ..]
Thank you for your insight,I never even thought about the fact that anger can be a mask for fear. One of my younger sister was a part of something truly truly wicked, and of course she is afraid -- afraid of facing the truth of her wicked act and the fact that I know the truth. So she insists that no one in the family have anything to do with me or she will not have anything to do with them -- because she is afraid! Thank you so much for that insight!!!!
I can relate - SistersUGH
[ In Reply To ..]
My sister is much the same, only her fear of showing emotion manifests as cold indifference.

She called me one morning crying about her dog that was sick and later in the day it died. She cried and cried, and I comforted her. When her children came home from school one asked, "Mommy where is porkchop?"

Coldly and without any regard she said sharply, "HE DIED."

I wanted to bash her head in. Ugh, what an awful way to treat her son, especially after she cried over it, you would think she would have some compassion for her child right? Nope.
Cold and distant. I just don't understand her.

When our youngest sister died, I cried, this sister absorbed the news without any sorrow and wanted to make small talk. So - she might be my sister, but I don't know what fuels her thoughts, and trying to understand her is just too much for me so I quit trying to do that since it was futile.
Missing my appointment - Losing Strength
[ In Reply To ..]
I just found out yesterday that my brother's funeral is Tuesday. That means I must miss the first appointment with the therapist, and I have been counting the minutes until I could see her. My brother was a wonderful,kind family man. I don't know how I will handle everything. My nerves are terrible, and of course, my sister will be there. My best friend is going with me to the funeral,thank God.

I appreciate you and everyone so much - Losing Strength

[ In Reply To ..]
Thank you so much for your reply. I am so sorry for the delay in doing this. Things have been so bad, and my brother's funeral on July 30 was even more difficult than I thought. Of course, my sister and I did not speak or sit together, and therefore I could not even sit with her daughters, who I adore. They, however, treated me very well when they came in at the visitation before the service. It will surely take God to perform a miracle. I think it is true when a psychologist says we must "teach people how to treat us." I always brushed everything under the rug and took her back time after time, after time, and of course got no apology ever, or even a recognition of what she had done to me. I know I must let these feelings go, but it is just too deep. I feel I have lost that side of my family, and my heart is broken beyond words. If I let her back into my life some day (even if she would want that), it would all start again. God did not create me to live life-long abuse. Thank you again for your reply, and of course, everyone who was so kind.

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