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But while all of those political thermometers are fine as far as they go, there's really no substitute for hanging out at the New Orleans' Riverside Hilton bar during the Southern Republican Leadership Conference. Only there can you relax in comfort and enjoy a Caesar salad while being lectured to by the president of the Louisiana Women's Republican Club on why the idea of a secular American republic is "a lie sent directly from the flaming pits of Hell," and why secular Jews (like this reporter) must accept the Word of God before the coming Final Battle, after which it will be too late.
Yes, you can experience that and much more at the annual SRLC, which concluded on Sunday with a "Pink Tea" event for Republican women. By now, the newspapers and blogs have relayed the major news items from this year's gathering in New Orleans. The conference, part midterm pep rally, part starting-gun for 2012 jockeying, was marked by a predictable mixture of bombast and contrition.
Liz Cheney tore into what she sees as Barack Obama's foreign policy of appeasement, apology and abandonment. Newt Gingrich railed against the Democrats' "secular socialist machine," pausing only long enough to offer an Orwellian 2010 GOP slogan of "2+2=4." Rick Santorum apologized for endorsing Arlen Specter in 2004. Michael Steele apologized for everything. The conference featured about 25 teleprompter jokes, plus one gay joke (see below). It concluded with a meaningless straw poll that saw the absent Mitt Romney triumph by a single vote. One after another, speakers preached a message of conservative unity and focus in the run-up to November.
If all that sounds like more fun than a French Quarter whorehouse, here are five other memorable SRLC moments you can kick yourself for missing.
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