I am going to share because I think you

Posted: Jun 23, 2017

Amy Austin Dunham: "I'm a bit late chiming in about the cop who was acquitted of murdering Philandro Castile, I know, but I am going to add my thoughts anyway. I watched the newly released dashcam video several times, along with Diamond Reynolds' video, which I have seen several times as well. We have two different videos to watch and put all together as best as possible. Never did I see a reason to pull a gun on him, let alone shoot him. He was killed because the cop was scared of him, but why? He was killed because of his skintone. The officer had asked for Philandro's ID and insurance card, that was what Philandro was getting for the cop. He made it absolutely clear he had a firearm. If he was intending to do any harm he wouldn't have told the cop he had a gun. This makes me so sick to the stomach. We are sending a message to cops that it's OK to be scared of someone who is black, and hell, it is apparently "self-defense" if you kill them because you are scared. And what gets me, what shakes me to the core, is that Diamond complied and even called the cop "sir". She remained calm. She had just witnessed her boyfriend get shot SEVEN times, her child was in the back seat. Yet she remained calm, compliant and respectful. She remembered her training, so why couldn't the officer? And that sweet baby girl who has undoubtedly been traumatized. She tells her mom to cooperate so she wouldn't get shot. She was 4 when she saw this horrific event. I hope she is doing okay." #BlackLivesMatter ____________ I don’t want my black baby boy to be born. After watching the video of murdered Philando Castille fiancée’s daughter begging with her mom not to take her handcuffs off, because she did not want her mom the be “shooted”, that was more than I could bear. I looked at my protruding belly and pled with God to keep my black unborn baby in my belly where I can protect him. As I watched that video of this precious little girl, I couldn’t help but be reminded that most of our black children have not only lost their sense of innocence, but are also asked to showcase maturity far beyond their still developing little brains should be able to comprehend. I don’t want my black baby boy to be born. As I proudly carry this black baby boy around, I can’t help but acknowledge the fear I’m starting to feel as my unavoidable due date is approaching. That fear sends shivers down my back. A pregnant white woman carrying a white baby can never understand that insidious fear I’m talking about. Watching that video of that innocent baby girl, pleading, begging and then bargaining with her mother in order to save her mother from what she conceived to be her impending death, was too much for this pregnant mom. I don’t want my black baby boy to be born. Because I know that the moment my baby will leave the comfort, warmth, and safety of my womb, I won’t be able to protect him from this unjust, bias, and prejudice society. From that moment on, he will be viewed as a black man, regardless of what his economic status may be. Having an accountant as a mother and a white lawyer as a father, will not insulate him from racism and prejudice. Even though my child will be of mixed heritage, he will be viewed my most and especially by the criminal justice system as a “black” man, with all that entails. The moment my child will be born that fear will become real. Unfortunately, this heartbreaking video perfectly crystalizes all the fear most black mothers know all so well. The fear for the safety of our black children, living in a society where they are not allowed to be children, just because they are black. I don’t want my black baby boy to be born. Because, we live in a society where being “Black” is a justifiable reason for “Whites” to murder you if they fear for their lives. I’m not a psychiatrist, a psychologist or a sociologist, I’m just a mother expecting a black child. Unfortunately, that makes me as qualified as any licensed professionals to assert that this constant subjugation of our black children, is undoubtedly altering their psyche. And creating children growing with some form of PTSD. All I know is, watching that heart wrenching video made me realized that I don’t want my black baby boy to leave the security of my womb. Who could blame me? I'LL keep you posted with more comments. I feel many of you need to read this perspective;